It’s been two long years since Humphrey Bogart Pterodactyl
last took to the skies, and we know that you have been forlorn. We know you miss him. We know that you have spent many nights crying yourself to sleep, screaming out between sobs, “Why, Humphry, WHYYYYYYYY???? Why did I even sign up for the Molly Rocket Mailing List
if Humphrey never comes to see me?”
But you knew. Deep in your heart of hearts, you knew.
Yes, apparently you have multiple hearts, and among them, there’s a particular one that knows things. Since most humans only have one heart, that’s pretty weird, but you know, we aren’t judgy here at Molly Rocket. We think you are beautiful just the way you are
, even if you do have freakishly many hearts.
But I digress. The point is, deep in your heart of hearts, you knew. You knew
: Humphrey Bogart Pterodactyl was not dead. He was not forgotten. He would
rise again and take to the skies in triumphant splendor and deliver the glory of the Molly Rocket Mailing List to the whole wide world.
Well, my friends, that “again” is now, that “skies” is here, and that “splendor” is nothing less than the news:
That’s right. We have three projects underway here at Molly Rocket: Handmade Hero
, and a third, largely secret project about which no details have been published. It has a cryptic landing page
, but that’s all that’s ever been shown. The rest of the details have been kept under wraps so tight, not even a mummy could peel them off.
Err, well, I guess mummies don’t really peel off their own wraps. Someone else does that, probably very carefully, so as not to disturb the embalmed remains. Perhaps I should have said, “wraps so tight, even an archaeologist couldn’t peel them off without disturbing the embalmed remains.”
Although honestly, I don’t love that either. It makes it sound like the project is old and atrophied when in fact it is fresh and vibrant. Forget I said anything. Don’t think about ancient Egyptian remains. I mean, think about them if you really want to, but try to focus less on “old decaying corpse” and more on “King Tutankhamun’s priceless golden sarcophagus”. That’s really more what we’re going for here.
But either way, the important thing to remember is, in Molly Rocket tradition, Humphrey’s appearance in the sky can only mean one thing: next Monday we will announce something very special, and you won’t want to miss it.