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The Technician
No Imperfections Noted
The Jeff and Casey Show
Jeff and Casey Time
Casey Muratori
Seattle, WA
Podcast Heroes
"Jesus is a seeder!"
Original air date: September 8th, 2014
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Transcript
Jeff:
Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Jeff & Casey Show.
Casey:
Hello, and welcome to the Jeff & Casey Show. And this is the second… It’s not really a podcast anymore. It’s a boatcast.
Jeff:
Boatcast. So I was gonna point out… See this little O I’ve written on the MegaTimer?
Casey:
Yes. Okay.
Jeff:
Long-time listeners of the show…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Probably noticed just then…
Casey:
Okay, yes.
Jeff:
That this was the original…
Casey:
More a authentic-sounding MegaTimer.
Jeff:
Yeah. So the problem was we lost the original…
Casey:
Well, we thought we lost…
Jeff:
We thought we lost the original MegaTimer. And then, this one… I was unpacking some stuff…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
And like, there’s the original. So I actually wrote in… 2 things. One is…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
The batteries still work.
Casey:
Wow. That’s amazing.
Jeff:
So, I haven’t opened them up. They’re probably super corroded.
Casey:
That’s amazing. Okay, yeah.
Jeff:
’Cos it’s, like 3 or 4 years old.
Casey:
You’re running on external asset at this point.
Jeff:
But yeah, now… When women say they talk about the big O, I always thought they were talking big O, notation, like…
Casey:
Right, like order in.
Jeff:
Yeah. But, no…
Casey:
But that’s not what they’re talking about…
Jeff:
It’s about the MegaTimer all this time.
Casey:
For those of you who don’t know what this is. Way back when, when we started doing the podcast, Jeff was originally the person who wanted to do the podcast. He had been listening to podcasts… And this is, like, 2007 or something. I don’t even know when this is. A long-ass time ago, 2008… He wanted to do a podcast. He’s been listening to podcasts. He’s like, “I want to do this.” So he asked me to come and do a podcast with him. And so, we just started doing a podcast. We had no idea what to do.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
We had no idea what to talk about, sort of like today…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Or any other time, it hasn’t changed. But, somewhere in the middle of doing a few of the podcasts, Jeff was like, “I want to know how much time we’ve used up while I’m podcasting.”
Jeff:
Right. Then we go, like, 2 hours the first time.
Casey:
Or sometimes 30 minutes. And he’s like, he wanted to have a better idea so he could see at a glance. So he’s like, “I’m gonna order…”
Jeff:
A clock.
Casey:
“Something with big numbers…”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
“That I can use.” So he found… He ordered this thing called the MegaTimer. And it’s a kids’… It’s a classroom…
Jeff:
For kindergarten kids.
Casey:
Kindergarten timer.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Which is perfect for Jeff.
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
However, somehow, even though this is for kindergarten teachers, Jeff cannot figure out how to use the interface at all.
Jeff:
No, it’s an insane interface.
Casey:
To be fair with him, at first I thought he was just incompetent. But then, when he explained to me the set of things he has to do to get it to start timing…
Jeff:
It’s insane.
Casey:
At zero…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It’s actually pretty complicated. So anyway, point being, we had one of these plastic MegaTimers and we lost it one time during a move…
Jeff:
Yeah. It was tragic.
Casey:
Didn’t know where it went. Or “thought we’d lost it”, I should say. And so, when we were doing the podcast, people were like, “Where’s the MegaTimer?”
Jeff:
The MegaTimer… Especially the videocast. They’re like, “I want to see it.”
Casey:
“Where’s the MegaTimer?” They want to see it.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
So the whole season 3, there’s no MegaTimer. And then, eventually, during season 4…
Jeff:
The MegaTimer is essentially the 3rd vertex of this podcast triangle…
Casey:
That’s right. It’s me, Jeff, and the MegaTimer.
Jeff:
And the MegaTimer, right.
Casey:
So basically, what we decided to do at season 4, we’re like, we want to get back to our roots…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Right? We want to get back to our ethnic heritage.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And in order to do that, I felt like we need the MegaTimer. So Jeff ordered another MegaTimer but…
Jeff:
But the least shitty MegaTimers are like $50.
Casey:
Yeah, they’re expensive.
Jeff:
’Cos like, school shit is usually… School infrastructure shit…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Is expensive.
Casey:
Well, that’s ‘cos of the mob. We have no idea why the MegaTimer’s expensive. I guess because it has to be bulletproof. And to be fair, like you said, the battery lasts us forever which is pretty good.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
But point being he ordered another MegaTimer and that’s what we’ve been using…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
For season 4 up to this point.
Jeff:
We do apologize for not explaining this sooner…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Because I know some of you probably now feel betrayed.
Casey:
I think we did explain that.
Jeff:
We talked about that we got a new MegaTimer?
Casey:
I think we said when we got it. It was like… We talked about it.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
We were not disingenuous.
Jeff:
We were not pulling the wool over their eyes.
Casey:
We were not pulling the proverbial wool, the blue MegaTiming wool, over anyone’s eyes. But now, when Jeff was cleaning out the office at RAD… And I believe the impetus for this was because… And this is a whole ‘nother situation. Chris Ecker comes to town once a year for PAX.
Jeff:
Oh, right. It was under the SpyParty sign.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Yes. I moved the sign and I’m like… There’s our old mic stands…
Casey:
So good. Yeah.
Jeff:
A drum kit…
Casey:
Yes, right.
Jeff:
That I thought I’d lost…
Casey:
Yes. Right.
Jeff:
And the MegaTimer.
Casey:
Right, and the MegaTimer.
Jeff:
It’s all sitting there.
Casey:
So basically, yeah…
Jeff:
It was uncovering…
Casey:
A cache, a secret cache, yes…
Jeff:
Just like, aahhh… And it’s beautiful stuff.
Casey:
Yes. So basically, what happens every year is Chris, in an attempt to save money on the SpyParty booth at PAX…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Tries to store all of the elements of the booth at people’s houses up to the point where they would just get angry and tell him no, right? So stuff is just stashed in places, right.
Jeff:
In various…
Casey:
And so, the SpyParty sign…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Which is this foam-core thing that Chris made himself, actually… There was a fair bit of labor put into this particular sign. Was stored at the RAD Game Tools office. And so, Chris was like, “I need the sign because it’s PAX again,” he needs to put the sign up.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And so, when Jeff went and found it, it apparently led to this discovery…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Of a lot of other lost items, all of which we’re very happy to have back, actually.
Jeff:
It was good action. So really, thanks, Chris. That was all… I think actually, Chris, more than a game developer, could be life coaches for, like, saving money. Like, if you were a person that just really needed to stretch your Dollar, Chris would be like, “Have you thought about reusing your toilet paper? Have you thought about…”
Casey:
I don’t know if that’s true. I don’t know if that’s true but what I will say is you know how they have assertiveness training and stuff like this, right? You know how they have courses that you go to, like, to help you be more assertive and be more…
Jeff:
Sure. Yeah.
Casey:
That’s what he should do.
Jeff:
Oh, okay.
Casey:
He should teach people how to be more assertive. Chris is… The only reason Chris is able to store the SpyParty sign at places, you know, at someone’s office, is like… I wouldn’t ask someone probably to do that for me.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Like, I wouldn’t go to San Francisco and just go to someone’s office and be like, “Store this sign,” right?
Jeff:
Yeah, I mean, it’s not… I will say. . . It’s not a big deal for me to store it. We have plenty of room.
Casey:
Right, exactly.
Jeff:
I’d just be embarrassed.
Casey:
Right, exactly. Yes.
Jeff:
Embarrassed isn’t the right word but, like… Yeah.
Casey:
I wouldn’t do that because I, like… The other person’s got stuff they want to deal with. I don’t want them to now have to think about…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
This thing, right? But Chris is just full on just like, “Can you store this sign for me?” And most people, if you ask them to do something that other people wouldn’t normally ask, they’ll just say yes.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And so, he could teach you how to…
Jeff:
There is… That’s actually…
Casey:
Yes, how to take advantage of that.
Jeff:
That’s actually the best way to escalate a friendship, actually, is not do something for somebody but ask them to do something for you.
Casey:
For you, yes.
Jeff:
Because it does couple you in [ a tighter way. ]
Casey:
Exactly.
Jeff:
Anyway…
Casey:
All of that aside…
Jeff:
We have the original…
Casey:
We have the original MegaTimer now and I think, like Jeff said, those of you who are familiar with the… Wow!
Jeff:
What?
Casey:
That is a crazy bird. Is that a loon?
Jeff:
What the hell is that?
Casey:
What is that thing?
Jeff:
Look at that big neck. Alright.
Casey:
Alright, we’re podcasting from the boat again today, not in the water, obviously…
Jeff:
I have not seen… We’ve seen a Bald Eagle back here.
Casey:
We’ve seen a Bald Eagle and that’s…
Jeff:
But that is a weird-looking thing.
Casey:
A loon or a heron or something. I don’t know birds but that is not a seagull.
Jeff:
Yeah, maybe a heron.
Casey:
That is something more advanced.
Jeff:
It has a pokey nose for poking fish.
Casey:
That is the kind of thing that bird people would be like, “Oh, that’s a bla…” ‘Cos it’s one of those things you would recognize.
Jeff:
Maybe that’s the bird that was sitting in the boat because we had a bird squatter.
Casey:
Okay, yes. So here’s one thing that I’ll say is I didn’t want to go on the boat…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
As Jeff knows. I was like, “We’re not going on the boat.”
Jeff:
Right. But we’re in dry dock.
Casey:
People who heard the SS Ting Tangler know that I said no boat.
Jeff:
I will say we are officially in dry dock. We’re out of the water.
Casey:
We are officially in dry dock. We’re out of the water. And so, Jeff was like, last podcast, last week…
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Those of you who listened to last week’s podcast know we did it from the boat in dry dock.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
I was like, “Ah, it will be funny.”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
You know, “We’ll do it…”
Jeff:
That one time.
Casey:
But now, I showed up today to do the podcast and the stuff was already set up on the boat.
Jeff:
Well, yeah…
Casey:
Right, we didn’t discuss this.
Jeff:
No, no. We didn’t discuss it.
Casey:
No.
Jeff:
What was supposed to happen…
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
Was we were gonna do 3 podcasts last week…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
And then we go right into podcast studios 4…
Casey:
4, right.
Jeff:
Your office space.
Casey:
Right. Yes.
Jeff:
That was the plan.
Casey:
That was the plan.
Jeff:
And then, we ended up just eating hot dogs and hanging out and eating doughnuts.
Casey:
Well, ‘cos Ryan and Charles came over…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
And it was a good time…
Jeff:
No, it was a great time. And then, we didn’t get back to podcasting.
Casey:
We didn’t get back to podcasting, yes. But…
Jeff:
So…
Casey:
So I feel like… If I may at this point…
Jeff:
Mmhmmm…
Casey:
You know, and I don’t want to bring pedophilia into it.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
But I feel like I’m being groomed here.
Jeff:
Oh, I see.
Casey:
I feel like I’m being groomed for a boat ride. You’re trying to get me comfortable with being on the boat in dry dock…
Jeff:
What if I just… Every time, the boat is lower…
Casey:
It gets a little lower, yes.
Jeff:
And you’re like, it’s…
Casey:
I’m like, a little suspicious. Yes.
Jeff:
And pretty soon…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
We’re just…
Casey:
Yeah, floating out…
Jeff:
You, like, look around and we’ve floated out to the sea.
Casey:
Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
And I’m like, “Well, Casey, I’ve got to turn the boat around and drive us back to the dock.”
Casey:
Exactly.
Jeff:
“God damn it.”
Casey:
Yeah, it’s like, “Here’s the lollipop, little girl.”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And it’s like this is the panel van of podcast studios, as far as I’m concerned.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
I don’t feel safe. I would prefer it if there was an adult here.
Jeff:
Yeah, I don’t feel like it’s intentional grooming.
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
I will say right from the beginning I did say to you, like, once the boat is just part of something we deal with in our lives enough, it will be so old hat that maybe you’d just be like, “Oh, fuck it,” get on the boat.
Casey:
That’s what grooming is, right.
Jeff:
Okay, well that’s what…
Casey:
Grooming is the process…
Jeff:
I’m not intentionally… I’m not boiling the frog.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
I feel like living… You know, Ginger is in the backyard most days.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
She loves to come out here and chill.
Casey:
Yes, she does.
Jeff:
So I feel like it’ll just be like, “Oh, we get more used to…” It’s like… It isn’t grooming. It’s like… What’s the kind of therapy where you…
Casey:
Habitualization?
Jeff:
Yeah, or… not shock therapy but when you put somebody who’s afraid of heights on high things…
Casey:
I don’t know. Being a dick?
Jeff:
Immersion therapy?
Casey:
Oh, immersion therapy.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
I don’t know.
Jeff:
Maybe something like that. You’re slowly getting used to a boat…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Being in our lives.
Casey:
I don’t know but I don’t like it is I guess what I’m saying. So we’re moving this stuff to podcast studios 4…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Which is already immersion therapy because I don’t like heights, either. I don’t like boats and I don’t like heights. But my office space is on the 18th floor because that’s the only thing I could find. So it’s gonna be high up.
Jeff:
I’m excited for that, yeah.
Casey:
Anyway…
Jeff:
And you’ve got a lot of space so you can set up and leave it set up.
Casey:
We can leave it set up. It will be good.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Alright. All of that said…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
That I not today’s topic. Today’s topic is not Jeff’s grooming behavior. Today’s topic is actually something I said in the car on the way over here. And I was about to start talking about it and we’re like, “Wait, let’s stop ‘cos this is probably a podcast,” yeah.
Jeff:
Yeah, you just said stop ‘cos you said one sentence.
Casey:
I said one sentence. I said, “I feel like…” I said, “I feel like…” Alright?
Jeff:
Right, this is in response to me bringing up Captain Sully…
Casey:
Captain Sully…
Jeff:
The guy who’s famous for landing the plane in water.
Casey:
Well, I don’t know. You just said Captain Sully…
Jeff:
I think his name was Sully.
Casey:
And what we were doing… Just so you know that the podcast is no different from me and Jeff just talking in real life… The actual conversation was that we were talking about solar power and I started by saying, “What’s with all of these things going around that are, like, a single solar panel the size of a dime in the Mojave Desert could power the world for 18 years?”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Like, there’s all these exaggerated solar power claims. And I’m sure that they’re not… I’m sure that there’s some truth to it. Like, I’m sure that solar power, it could be done much more efficiently than maybe we’re lead to believe and it [ adds sales ] and all these sorts of…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And if people were serious about it… But also, I feel like there’s some overstatement going on right now just in terms of, like, “Okay, that is in the ideal no law situation with no transmitting and all this stuff,” right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So we were talking about this and Jeff… We were sort of saying how are they gonna get it from the desert to the place where it’s needed…
Jeff:
To New York…
Casey:
Like New York City or something… They’re very far away. How are they gonna transmit this power? How much loss is gonna involved in that? And we jokingly said, well, maybe they’ll just point the… Like, a mirror…
Jeff:
A collector.
Casey:
The desert will just be a mirror. It will point it up to the satellite, right?
Jeff:
And bounce it down….
Casey:
And bounce it down to New York City and you just never fly in that little beam of light…
Jeff:
In those 2 beams…
Casey:
Right. Who knows how you’re building a mirror that can bounce that much light…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Without it actually shooting off into space.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
But basically, it’s a solar sail at that point.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
But basically, Jeff was saying, “Oh, whoops,” like, a plane flies through it and it bursts into flames.
Jeff:
Yeah…
Casey:
And he said, “Captain Sully had such a good flight record up until this point.” Now, I didn’t know who that was. I’m like, “Who is Captain Sully?” And he says it’s the person who landed the plane in the water. And I’m like, “So you mean the Hudson River? That thing where he landed in New York?”
Jeff:
Yeah, and the bird got sucked in the thing and he had to ditch in the water and nobody died and it was like…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
I don’t even think very many people…
Casey:
So I know that some of this is accurate.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I don’t know if a bird got sucked into a manifold and I don’t know if that stuff is… Those may be urban legends that you’ve mixed together into the story.
Jeff:
No, no.
Casey:
But I do agree that there was a plane that landed in the Hudson River…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And I’m sure they called the pilot a hero…
Jeff:
A hero…
Casey:
And so, what I said immediately after Jeff said this was, like, I feel like nowadays in America, all the people we call heroes are, like, at least mild to complete failures. Right? It’s like, we don’t call people heroes for actually achieving something great. That’s not a hero anymore, right?
Jeff:
Well…
Casey:
A hero is somebody who, like, survived a fuck up.
Jeff:
Right. Well, and to be clear, some of the fuck ups aren’t necessarily their fault.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
It’s just they did their job like they were supposed to in a presence of a fuck up is now basically…
Casey:
A hero…
Jeff:
Our definition, like…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
You know, someone who saves a bunch of children from a burning bus…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Is a hero. But, oh, P.S. it was ‘cos he was smoking around open cans of gasoline or something, right?
Casey:
I’m actually thinking more like… And we talked about this in a podcast a couple years ago but, like, John McCain is my textbook example, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
War heroes now are people who got, like, shot down.
Jeff:
Right, right.
Casey:
Like, they were unable to actually fulfill their full mission objective, right?
Jeff:
And he had a distinguished career or failure.
Casey:
Oh, right. He just… He keeps failing…
Jeff:
Like, he just kept getting…
Casey:
He’s like, he loses the presidential election, he just… Everything he did was a failure to some degree.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
But like, that’s our bar for hero now because I guess we don’t have anyone who ever excels at anything…
Jeff:
Well, it’s…
Casey:
So we can’t call those people heroes, right?
Jeff:
I will say it’s somewhat of an American-ism that success after failure is much more appreciated than…
Casey:
But there was never any success is the thing.
Jeff:
Well, no. I’m just… You could be seen as, like, “Oh, he got shot down and…”
Casey:
No.
Jeff:
Well, wait a second. And he became a senator or whatever. I’m just setting that aside. What I’m trying to say is a greater thing of, like, how Americans… If you fail…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
And make a comeback…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
It’s way better than if you were just awesome all along.
Casey:
No, no, no. But…
Jeff:
I feel like that’s…
Casey:
That has nothing to do with America. That’s the hero’s journey and you’re totally correct, right. Like, failure is a critical part of being a hero.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
You fail the first time, you succeed the second time. What we’ve reduced that to in America is you fail the first time and you don’t die. Or you do die and we still call you a hero.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
He survived.
Casey:
We took out the success part. The part where you then re-face the same evil and succeed this time…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
We just said, “Fuck it. You fail the first time, you’re already a hero.”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Just for failing.
Jeff:
Well, maybe it’s that you’re not a hero until you keep, like… Survival’s enough. So, like, you keep going back to the dragon and everyone in your party gets vaporized except you. You’re like, “Well, that’s a hero. He keeps… He’s just…”
Casey:
I don’t know if that’s true, either, though. ‘Cos we’ll do [ lots ] of, like, calling people war heroes who died.
Jeff:
Yes, that’s true.
Casey:
So they don’t even have to survive a lot of times.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
It’s like, your convoy got blown up by a bomb, everyone died, you’re a war hero.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
It’s like, “No. You’re a fuck up.”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
I don’t mean to be rude…
Jeff:
Well, no…
Casey:
But that’s the actual truth.
Jeff:
Or worse, that’s not even as good an example as just, like, you’re a war hero if you died even among friendly fire. Like…
Casey:
Right, exactly.
Jeff:
And you’re like, “Wait a second. No, no, no…”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Somebody… Like, the whole… You know, the guy that… The football player…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
The all-American who, like…
Casey:
Right, right, yeah…
Jeff:
Left pro-football to be in the thing was, like…
Casey:
Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
Immediately shot by his own men…
Casey:
Yeah, hero.
Jeff:
Yeah. And you’re like… And to be clear, his family’s awesome. They’re like, “This is… I want to know what the fuck happened.”
Casey:
Right. Yeah, yeah.
Jeff:
“Let’s stop this hero worship shit because that’s just a way to paper over the ‘who fucking shot him’.”
Casey:
Yes. But here’s the thing. And this is what it’s for, right, is the reason we do that… Like, I don’t think this is an accident, right. The reason we do this is because we want people to keep doing this really stupid shit, right. Like, you shouldn’t ever want to go fight in Vietnam. You shouldn’t ever want to go fight in Iraq. These are not real wars. They’re wars that people manufactured for their own benefit, right?
Jeff:
Yeah. Well, you…
Casey:
So you we have to call you a hero because there’s nothing in it for you.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Like, you are going to have a miserable… If you enlist to be a soldier in the army…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
You are going to have a miserable life, right?
Jeff:
No, that’s absolutely true.
Casey:
You are going to be taken advantage of by our government.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And so, what they do to keep you from getting really fucking pissed is they call you a hero. And honestly, if I were you, I’d be insulted. If someone calls me a war hero, I’d be like, “No, you dick. I’m someone you were fucking with because you don’t want to go to war…”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
“Because you’re a bunch of people in Washington who just, like, you know…”
Jeff:
Well, that’s…
Casey:
“You just want to be the people who move the pawns around the chess board. You’re like, ‘Oh, don’t worry. We’ll call you guys heroes so you don’t mind that you’re the fucking people getting the bullet in the face,’ right?”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It’s like… It’s bullshit.
Jeff:
We had… I had this conversation with a friend of mine in New York where… She’s a writer and she was talking about the story of Jesus of, like…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
You know, somebody who makes a sacrifice of himself for the good of all mankind…
Casey:
Right, right.
Jeff:
How this kind of trope is used over and over again…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
And she was like, “No, it’s the greatest story because that’s the one.” I’m like, “It’s not a good story because it’s used over and over again. It’s an effective story.”
Casey:
Okay. Right.
Jeff:
Because if you have, like, these people who are powerless…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Like, telling the story of, like, how ultimate sacrifice is simply giving up your life…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
It’s very empowering because now, you don’t need money. You don’t need this. You don’t need land. You don’t need your own slaves.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Like, it’s just like, “No, no. You just have to lay down your life to be a hero.”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And so, there is a long history of using it and it’s because humans are just so into narratives…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
That a good narrative is way better than the best salesman you ever have. So, like, you can…
Casey:
So Christianity is designed… And when I say “designed”, I mean in the Darwinian sense. You know, it’s like… I should say it’s evolved.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Christianity is an evolved story that is one of the best stories for political control ever conceived.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It basically involves completely delayed gratification, like, you don’t get anything ‘til you die is the story of Christianity, right? Everything’s about heaven, not about here. So we can just take full advantage of everyone…
Jeff:
In the meantime…
Casey:
While they’re here, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So it starts with that and it goes through a bunch of other shit that’s really good. It’s like, “Where does charity come from? Oh, charity comes from all you lowly people.” It’s not a story about the powerful people in government deciding to do charitable things…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Or take care of everyone or develop good welfare systems or create level playing fields… No.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
It’s about everyone either looking to miraculous or, like, poor helping the poor kinds of things, right?
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Give all your money to other people even though you don’t have any, right, this sort of shit…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
It’s all set up so that government doesn’t have to do a goddamned thing for you. And it’s not surprising that if you have a bunch of people who buy this shit, that you are a very powerful society because if you can get all… If you can be a society of people who all do whatever the fuck you want because they’re just waiting for heaven and who all take care of each other so you don’t have to, that’s really effective…
Jeff:
Yeah, that’s perfect.
Casey:
That’s really, really effective, right?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
So it’s a reason why these things are the popular… It has nothing to do with whether they’re good stories that you should tell people to educate them or because they have good moral centers. No. it’s the opposite of that.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
It’s things that are good at a creating power…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And having high control methods, right?
Jeff:
Well, I would say the thing that struck me as American about the failure thing…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Is I was talking to a guy who is a guitarist in Ireland. And he was talking about why he likes America.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Like, what he likes about it versus Ireland.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
And one of the things he said is there is this fear of failure in Ireland where trying something, you’r… Trying and failing…
Casey:
Is really bad…
Jeff:
You get so much shit and it’s so horrible…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
And like, you’re forever the guy that fucked up.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
That he’s like, “People just don’t try things.”
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
And he says it’s somewhat cultural…
Casey:
I see.
Jeff:
And it’s from the smallest thing like “I just don’t try this” or to the biggest thing of, like, you don’t start a lot of start-ups there.
Casey:
I see.
Jeff:
And he felt like it was part of…
Casey:
The cultural ethos…
Jeff:
The British empire-ish…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Kind of, like, embarrassment thing being a high thing.
Casey:
Oh, I don’t know very much about that. Okay.
Jeff:
Anyway, this was his theory.
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
And it could just be a theory.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
But he said it is something different about here where, like, the trying is considered something valuable no matter how ineffective or shitty you are at something. It’s like, “Oh, at least he tried,” is the thing.
Casey:
Well, so here’s what I’m gonna say.
Jeff:
So… And that may not be America. I mean, that’s what made me think of it being American.
Casey:
That’s what he said.
Jeff:
That may not be true.
Casey:
But that’s what he said.
Jeff:
But that’s what made me… Yeah.
Casey:
So here’s what I’m gonna say right here. I’m just gonna go for it. We are podcast heroes.
Jeff:
Oh, yes. Right.
Casey:
I feel like there is no question…
Jeff:
Every day… Yes.
Casey:
That we are podcast heroes because we do a podcast that is not popular.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Okay? It is not a popular podcast. But we keep trying every day…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
We’re consistent, right?
Jeff:
Well, here’s the thing. When we become popular, we become less heroic. So what we have to do…
Casey:
We can’t become popular. We need to remain…
Jeff:
We need to remain…
Casey:
Unpopular.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And feel like we’re doing it for our…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Our heroics…
Casey:
And I’m gonna be straight with you people. Like, Jesus had less followers than we do.
Jeff:
That is true.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
Yeah, he had, like…
Casey:
We’ve got hundreds of people who subscribe to this podcast. He had, like, 12.
Jeff:
Yeah, he had 12 followers.
Casey:
Or, something, right? Like, what the fuck is that? That’s nothing.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
12 followers on Twitter is like a spam account. Like, that’s nothing.
Jeff:
If someone has 12 followers on Twitter…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
You need to block them because no matter what they say, it’s gonna be horrific, right?
Casey:
Right. Yes.
Jeff:
It’s until they have a couple hundred…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Where you’re just like, “Oh, I get Twitter.” When you’re…
Casey:
Yeah. No, Jesus, like, @Jesus, his Twitter account is, like, a fucking picture of some hottie from Russia…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
That has, like, links to, like, you know, basically a porn site…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And he’s just spamming you with whatever. Yeah.
Jeff:
And you’re like, Jesus, you got hacked again.
Casey:
Yeah, Jesus you got…
Jeff:
Right? Oh, Jesus…
Casey:
Jesus…
Jeff:
And then they all send them emails. Jesus@Gmail…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
It’s like…
Casey:
This is gonna be the last supper we have if you can’t fucking get your site back under control.
Jeff:
Well, that’s where the term, fishing, came from, you know, because he’s…
Casey:
Right. That’s a good… Yes…
Jeff:
It’s the fish.
Casey:
That’s right.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Is there a term loafing? Probably.
Jeff:
Loafing. Right.
Casey:
It’s like, “Oh, Jesus got loafed. He got loafed.”
Jeff:
He totally got loafed.
Casey:
So, you know what, that’s a good point. So I wonder if basically, like, splitting loaves in half and that sort of stuff… You know, like multiplying the bread and stuff…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Is that some kind of a Botnet illusion? I don’t know. Like, I didn’t think of Jesus as a hacker.
Jeff:
Right. Oh, I see.
Casey:
But it’s an interesting point. I hadn’t considered that…
Jeff:
How you got… Yeah…
Casey:
The modern Jesus… The modern incarnation of Jesus…
Jeff:
Well, I feel like the loaf thing is really just another example of the network effect, right?
Casey:
Right. Yeah, that’s a good point.
Jeff:
Because if you have more people to give the bread out…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
It’s like… Everyone has less bread…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
But together, we all have bread.
Casey:
No, that’s… But he actually multiplied the bread. So… Oh…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Holy shit. Jesus is anti-DRM.
Jeff:
Oh, I see.
Casey:
He just felt like I can…
Jeff:
He didn’t pay for that.
Casey:
He didn’t. He bought one loaf of bread and he gave everyone…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Holy shit, dude!
Jeff:
We never heard the other side of…
Casey:
I never internalized this.
Jeff:
We never heard the other side of that story.
Casey:
I never internalized this.
Jeff:
Before…
Casey:
Jesus is anti-DRM. Christianity is anti-DRM. He did not ask each person to pay for their fish.
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
He just fucking took the fish he had and he fucking copied it.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
He Bittorrent-ed the fish, Jeff.
Jeff:
Yes. Well, he didn’t even… He was like the seeder. He wasn’t even like a…
Casey:
He was a fucking seeder. Jesus is a seeder. That’s my new tagline, “Jesus is a seeder. — Casey.
Jeff:
The other thing I would say is we didn’t hear the other side of the story, that poor shop owner who was like, having a thriving bread business…
Casey:
He’s out of business.
Jeff:
I mean, really, that’s who piracy hurts the worst…
Casey:
Exactly.
Jeff:
Is the small businesses…
Casey:
Right, it’s the small businesses.
Jeff:
We don’t have to worry about…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
The huge bread…
Casey:
The [inaudible 23:59] is still in business…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Back there in Nazareth.
Jeff:
But yeah, it’s the little guy…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Who’s like, he sold one loaf of bread to, like…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Not even Jesus, one of the disciples…
Casey:
Right, and he’s like, “Hey…”
Jeff:
And then Jesus just went…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And put him straight out of business.
Casey:
Well, the thing is…
Jeff:
Let’s not even get into the whole fish situation.
Casey:
But here’s the thing. I’m gonna come right back at you, Jeff, because here’s the thing. Jesus is a cracker because he’s like a wares dude because at some level, one of the disciples bought the loaf of bread…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
He’s like, “I don’t know how to copy this. It’s protected,” right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
He gives it to Jesus. Jesus is like, “No problem, man.”
Jeff:
“I got this.”
Casey:
He, like, typed some shit into his mon--… You know, like, you see the little cracking…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Like, a bunch of numbers flying by the screen…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
It’s like, “Bam, he’s got it.”
Jeff:
I mean, to be clear, back then, it was an abacus. So he’s just like… The numbers were sliding up and down on the sticks…
Casey:
Yes, exactly.
Jeff:
And all of a sudden…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Bread for everybody.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Yeah, I really never thought about that.
Casey:
Yeah, Jesus is a hacksor, is a cracker.
Jeff:
Yeah, it’s true. It’s true. Well…
Casey:
A seeding cracker.
Jeff:
Yeah, I guess it’s true that most of the time, when you hear about people, certainly modern celebrity is mostly about failure. Like… Both Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian are famous for their leaked sex tapes which starts with the…
Casey:
But why is that failure? That’s not really failure.
Jeff:
Well, it’s a failure to keep them locked up. Like… I mean, whether it’s semi-intentional…
Casey:
Oh…
Jeff:
Both of them claim that… And to be clear, both of them were early enough in the… Now, when a sex tape comes out now…
Casey:
It’s not leaked. It’s a PR…
Jeff:
It went through the PR department.
Casey:
PR newswire, yeah.
Jeff:
And then they’re like, “You know what? We should reshoot this with better lighting and all this.”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
But back then, they were both like, “No, a handyman got a hold of it,” or whatever.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
They probably shouldn’t label it… You know when they put the stickers on the tape…
Casey:
Right, yes, “Sex tape”.
Jeff:
And they write “Sex tape”…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Because then a worker’s gonna see that and you can’t help but take that.
Casey:
Okay. When your sex tape has “for your consideration” on the outset, like the title card or whatever, that’s… You kind of know that this was not…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
A “leaked sex tape”, right?
Jeff:
Exactly.
Casey:
It’s the same kind of leak when Washington says a senior administration official, speaking under condition of anonymity, right…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And it’s just like… It’s the fucking Vice President…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And he’s just there like, “Hey, guys. What’s going on?”
Jeff:
Here’s a question for you.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Right now, who would be the craziest person to come out with a sex tape?
Casey:
Come out with a sex tape?
Jeff:
Yeah. If you’re just like… Oh, I’m [ hanging around ] and you’re just like, “Okay, that shocks me.” I know who my answer is.
Casey:
What do you mean when you say “that shocks me”. What exactly are you going for?
Jeff:
What was the one that would be, like… Where you’d just be like, “Oh, really?”
Casey:
Is that like I really just don’t want to watch this? Or you’re just saying like that’s odd that this person has a sex tape?
Jeff:
No, the one that… I would say the most surprising.
Casey:
Oh, man, the most surprising?
Jeff:
Yeah. And you could say the pope which is kind of boring but you want to be like… He’s a person… Here’s my guidelines. It has to be a person that plausibly has sex. It’s just someone you don’t think about.
Casey:
You don’t think the pope has sex?
Jeff:
Well, no. I’m sure… I don’t think the pope has sex with other… At least this pope, I could feel like…
Casey:
You don’t think there’s a fucking Cardinal train every night at the Vatican? Because I think there is.
Jeff:
I don’t… I would say yes normally to that joke but, like, this pope seems like he’s got his shit together.
Casey:
Yeah, that’s why he’s having sex, because normal people have fucking sex. That’s probably what…
Jeff:
Possibly.
Casey:
This pope probably just has normal, probably gay (because that’s what’s who’s around) sex, you know, often which he should, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Unlike the fucking previous popes who are probably all fucked up because they haven’t had sex at all.
Jeff:
Right, right.
Casey:
Or are completely confused about their sexuality and it’s driving them insane.
Jeff:
Yeah, that’s probably true.
Casey:
That said, I have no idea who has sex at the Vatican. I just imagine they do.
Jeff:
There’s something going down.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I feel like it.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Right? That’s what they do.
Jeff:
That’s what the smoke means.
Casey:
That’s what the smoke… When the smoke is going…
Jeff:
The pope came…
Casey:
The pope came… Smoke is pope come, that’s basically…
Jeff:
Green smoke, it’s like… Oh, it’s a different color…
Casey:
Right. Or we know what kind of sex they were having, right?
Jeff:
Oh, I see.
Casey:
Was it oral? Was it anal? What was going on here? Were there nuns involved this time?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Maybe it was just a full-on party… You know, who knows what’s going on. They know how to do it at the Vatican.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
That’s what I think. They’ve got all that bling around there. I think people are just gonna go nuts for that. I think if you’re the pope, you can get any piece of ass you want, basically, right.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Like, that’s my assumption is, like, a pope has his pick.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
That’s what I would assume anyway. But I don’t really know.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Again, totally data-free, have no idea, never been to the Vatican. You’ve been, I think…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
You’ve been there.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I don’t know if you got sort of a sex sense of it or anything but…
Jeff:
It didn’t seem like a sexy place.
Casey:
No.
Jeff:
What you get the sense of is you’re like, “They’ve got a lot of fucking money in this place.”
Casey:
They have a lot of money.
Jeff:
You’re just, like, looking at this and you’re going…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
There is nothing subtle about this arena. Like, it is larger than any…
Casey:
“We live a humble existence.”
Jeff:
You’re like…
Casey:
“Is that a solid gold Jesus over there?” It’s, like, 7 feet tall.
Jeff:
These pillars… I was just like, “Holy shit.”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So the most…
Jeff:
I choose Putin. Like if that came up. We’re getting misted. Can you feel that?
Casey:
Putin? What do you mean Putin? Putin has sex all the time, dude.
Jeff:
No, no, no. But if… I feel like if a sex tape leaks out, he’s the one I’d be most surprised…
Casey:
’Cos he’s with a bear? Is that what you’re gonna say? ‘Cos he’s with a giant grizzly bear?
Jeff:
No, because I assume that anyone involved in the linking of that is being erased…
Casey:
Is dead, okay. It’s like, they’re gone.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
So I think…
Jeff:
If you want to go, like…
Casey:
I think Bill Gates.
Jeff:
Oh, good choice.
Casey:
And he’s still wearing the sweater.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
So he takes his pants off for this situation.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
But the sweater’s on.
Jeff:
Bill Gates is good. I was thinking Elon Musk but I think Bill Gates is better.
Casey:
No. Musk is too slick.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
You already know Musk is having sex all the time and just be like, “Ah, yeah, one of his sex tapes leaked.”
Jeff:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Casey:
One of his sex tapes leaked.
Jeff:
Right. Yeah, Bill Gates is a great answer because he has kids so you know he’s had sex.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
But you can’t, in any way, envision him having sex.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
It’s just like… Oh…
Casey:
Well, you can go look at that picture of him lying on the desk.
Jeff:
“Let me install… I want to install this into you.”
Casey:
Yes, right. Right. Yeah.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It’s like, “Oh, Windows is updating. Windows is up 73%. 93%. Oh, rebooting.” And then he’s down for…
Jeff:
Have to restart.
Casey:
Yeah. If you’re lucky, it restarts but probably not ‘til morning, right?
Jeff:
Yeah, that’s a good one.
Casey:
It’s down at that point.
Jeff:
Yeah, that’s a good answer. I accept that answer.
Casey:
Yeah, Bill Gates. See, my first thought was Steve Ballmer but then I was like, “It’s gonna be too rough.” Right?
Jeff:
Well, I thought going somewhere gross like…
Casey:
He’s like, “Developers, developers, developers,” right?
Jeff:
Robin Williams… Yeah. Well, Steve… Yeah, I feel like Steve Ballmer would look like one of those real sweaty guys in porn…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Where you’re like, they’re trying too hard, right?
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Like, he got the gig ‘cos he has a hot girlfriend…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And then they’re like, “Yeah, you can be in it.”
Casey:
Right, right.
Jeff:
And he’s like, really going for it. And you’re like, “Calm down.”
Casey:
You know, I saw Steve Ballmer once. I think I mentioned this on the podcast before. He was at the playhouse when we went…
Jeff:
Oh, okay.
Casey:
And he looks like… He looks angry even when he’s at a recreational event.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Which is interesting to me ‘cos I’d never seen him before in person.
Jeff:
I’ve seen him at a couple restaurants that I’d been at before. He looks like… He’s a… You see him all the time.
Casey:
Yeah, you do.
Jeff:
But what you kind of don’t see a lot of is the full… Like, he’s taller than I thought.
Casey:
He’s a large individual, legitimately, yes.
Jeff:
But all of his weight is high up.
Casey:
It’s at the top, yeah.
Jeff:
He looks a little like a cartoon character.
Casey:
Yes, he does. Yeah.
Jeff:
And he also just looks like one of those guys that, like, walking down the boardwalk, you’d bump into and he just loses his mind…
Casey:
Right, right.
Jeff:
And want to fucking pull his shirt off and want to fight.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Right? Like…
Casey:
Except when he pulls his shirt off, it’s not quite…
Jeff:
No, it’d be terrible.
Casey:
It’d be a bad experience, yeah.
Jeff:
It still would be like… He’s just on the border of…
Casey:
He doesn’t have the Situation kind of stomach…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
That is not what’s going on there at all.
Jeff:
Yeah. Oh, right, yes.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
But he’s just… It feels like he’s on the verge of freaking out.
Casey:
Is 6-pack flabs a word?
Jeff:
6-pack flabs?
Casey:
Is that a thing? I don’t know. I want it to be.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Let’s just say he has 6-pack flabs. So, you know, I’m happy to be at podcast hero and I think one of the things that I appreciate, too, about being a podcast hero is I feel like that if you start to be popular… If you were a popular podcast, I don’t think you’d say most of the shit that we say.
Jeff:
Well, I was…
Casey:
Like I was talking about the pope fucking and how people who get killed in war are fuck-ups. You can’t say that shit. If you’re popular, you have to deal with all of this fallout from comments like that. But we can say that, you know what I mean?
Jeff:
Well, I was just gonna say that… When I brought up the fact that if we become popular, we’d have to fail our way back and…
Casey:
Oh, that’s not a bad idea.
Jeff:
And then, the failure would be like, one of us says…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Hits one of the hot button things.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And the hot button things, I feel like a lot of what we talk about are… The hot button things move around. Like…
Casey:
Yeah, well, so…
Jeff:
It’s hard to… Most of the things that we joke about now, people are comfortable with being joked about to some extent. Like…
Casey:
Maybe.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I don’t think that’s true. War heroes are not comfortable to joke about, right?
Jeff:
Yeah, that’s true.
Casey:
Like, if you went on the fucking Tonight Show and were like, “People whose convoy gets blown up are fuckups,” right… You can’t say that. You can’t say that in public.
Jeff:
I bet you could get away with that one. It would just be… Like, Louis C.K. could do that. I guarantee you Louis C.K. could do…
Casey:
You could be… If you had cultivated that image…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Of like “I am uncomfortable” humor, right?
Jeff:
Right. Or just humor where I look at things crazy honestly in a weird way, like…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
You could probably… If you just came out like, “Hey, here’s Casey.” And you’re like, “So, war heroes…”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
“Fuck-ups, am I right?”
Casey:
Yeah, right.
Jeff:
I mean, that’s part of the thing when somebody sometimes gets… They hear something that we talk about…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And they’re like, “What? That’s… You’re kidding.” I get that on occasion. I’m like, well… Again, you have to understand the whole point of… We’ve done this for 5 or 6 years…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And, like, this is kind of what… Our humor is what it is.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And part of doing it is at least…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Going to that…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Like, going into detail on the topics that we do…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
’Cos, I mean, we considered calling the podcast…
Casey:
In excruciating detail.
Jeff:
In excruciating detail.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Because that’s like… Our usual thing is to really…
Casey:
Be excruciating.
Jeff:
Yeah, excruciating. And like, that’s kind of the point.
Casey:
So, I guess the…
Jeff:
Without it, like, if we don’t have that, we certainly don’t do any preparation for this podcast.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
We don’t do any research.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So the only thing we have is the ability to be really excruciating.
Casey:
Hypothesize… We have only the ability to be hypothetical.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
We can’t be data-driven.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
We can’t be sort of cleaned up.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
We can’t fine-tune for you…
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
’Cos that’s not really on the table…
Jeff:
That’s not gonna happen.
Casey:
Or on the boat, as the case may be in this particular podcast.
Jeff:
That’s right.
Casey:
And so, that’s just what you’re gonna get. And hopefully, you know, it does provide some service because nobody else fucking does this shit. Nobody else ever does that as far as I can tell.
Jeff:
The services I look at is completely personal.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Like, the podcast is just very therapeutic…
Casey:
For you. Yeah, that’s true.
Jeff:
You’re just like, “Alright, this is where I’m gonna dump all this shit out.”
Casey:
Well, so…
Jeff:
And then it builds up.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
For 2 weeks while I’m in New York and it spills out…
Casey:
And it spills out.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Well, I feel like we’ve covered this efficiently.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Should we wrap it for today?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It’s a relatively short podcast this week.
Jeff:
That’s right.
Casey:
We’ll move on to another topic for podcast number 2?
Jeff:
Yes. I will go get the iPad.
Casey:
Sounds good.
Jeff:
We’re getting misted from the plants.
Casey:
It’s not bother me.
Jeff:
I know. It feels kind of nice but we’re getting misted.
Casey:
Well, thank you, everybody, for tuning in to another episode of the Jeff & Casey Show. If you…
Jeff:
Want us to talk about your failures…
Casey:
Want us to talk about how you’re a hero…
Jeff:
Oh, right. Sorry.
Casey:
Which means fuck-up…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
In American language…
Jeff:
Yeah. This is really good for me because most of my… I have… Just as a little side thing…
Casey:
You mess up a lot. It’s true.
Jeff:
I mess up a lot. And it’s because… So as a side thing…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
You people usually, when you find out how old I am…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Are surprised.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And it’s not because I necessarily look young.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
It’s because they’re like, “Wait, you’ve never learned how that works?”
Casey:
Right, right.
Jeff:
And it’s because I honestly live a very bubble-like existence.
Casey:
Specific life, yeah, that’s true.
Jeff:
Yeah, a bubble existence. So…
Casey:
Okay, here’s what I’ll say. I think you’re totally right.
Jeff:
Tell the nail story. That’s the one I was gonna get to…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Of, like, this is a fuck up that happened a couple days ago.
Casey:
So, here’s what I’ll say.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
So, what happened with the nail story is Jeff was trying to hang pictures in his house.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Because he moved into the new house, right, and he wanted to put his art up on the walls along with some knickknacks and things.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
He just wanted to hang so that the house wouldn’t look barren.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Especially because there’s no furniture in it yet because the furniture hasn’t arrived yet.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
It’s still being ordered and shipped and all this stuff. So he’s putting stuff up on the walls and he runs out of hangers. He runs out of nails.
Jeff:
Right. So I run over… So I head over through Bellevue to go over to the…
Casey:
Right, to the Home Depot…
Jeff:
The Home Depot…
Casey:
He’s gonna get some picture hanger hooks, nails, whatever. He sees a sign…
Jeff:
Right. And it says… And I’m just driving…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And it’s late. And I have been moving.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And it goes… It says…
Casey:
It probably says something like “Nails & More” would be my guess, right?
Jeff:
It says, like, “Nails, Nails, Nails” or “Nails & More” or something like that…
Casey:
Okay, right. Yeah. Right.
Jeff:
And I swing into the strip mall without… I’m like, “Oh, shit. I don’t have to drive all the way through Bellevue.”
Casey:
Awesome.
Jeff:
And as soon as I got into the… I was like, “Oh, right…”
Casey:
Right. ‘Cos obviously… Yeah.
Jeff:
But it did but there was…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
I acted on an impulse there.
Casey:
Yes. Right.
Jeff:
That was…
Casey:
Nobody in America would see a sign that said nails and think that meant the thing you hammer into the wall, right?
Jeff:
No, yeah.
Casey:
Especially not in an upscale strip mall in Bellevue.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Where there is not going to be a hardware store…
Jeff:
Right. We were joking that…
Casey:
Let alone a nail store specifically.
Jeff:
If it said “Manicured Nails”… A tree covers the thing…
Casey:
Yeah, it says “Man Nails”…
Jeff:
And it’s “Man Nails”… And that only came up because we saw the rare coins which says “Bellevue Rare Coins”… The tree blocks it…
Casey:
I thought it said “Bellevue Rape Coins”. I’m like, “What the fuck kind of store is that?”
Jeff:
“What’s a rape coin?”
Casey:
It doesn’t sound good, like some kind of commemorative thing.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Anyway, point being…
Jeff:
We’re bringing all this to Bellevue. Bellevue people have not had this in their midst.
Casey:
No, they haven’t. So here’s the thing that I wanted to mention, though. So I think what you said is very accurate because you have actually succeeded at a number of real things, right? Like, you have a very successful company, right. There’s a bunch of things in your life that you’ve done well. Nobody cares about that.
Jeff:
Oh, that’s true.
Casey:
Nobody wants to hear about how you did a great job making
Jeff:
That’s true.
Casey:
A video codec company and all this sort of stuff, right?
Jeff:
No, it is…
Casey:
Nobody wants to hear about that. What they want to hear about is the fact that you thought that there was a nail store that was actually a manicure shop, right? That’s… So…
Jeff:
Way more interesting.
Casey:
That’s the heroism, right?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It’s like, nobody wants the success story anymore.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
They want the hero story which means the fuck-up.
Jeff:
So let’s start calling that “What’s Your Hero Story?”
Casey:
“What’s Your Hero Story?” If you have a hero story…
Jeff:
So why don’t you tell us your hero story. And we’ll gather them and we’ll do a show of the best hero stories.
Casey:
Heroes… Podcast heroes…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Here on the Jeff & Casey Show. Send them to Podcast@JeffAndCaseyShow.com…
Jeff:
Podcast@JeffAndCaseyShow.com.
Casey:
Send us your best hero story, your best tales of heroism in your life…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
We will read them on the air for a hero collection.
Jeff:
I love calling fucked up tales of heroism. That’s like… Yeah.
Casey:
Tales of heroism. That’s America. You know, it’s another 1984 thing.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I’m sure he didn’t have that in 1984 specifically…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
But that’s exactly what Earl was talking about. You just gotta call it… You’ve got to call them a hero even if what they are was just someone who was doing what you told them to do…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
And it was dumb. That’s heroism, right?
Jeff:
No, I like it.
Casey:
So…
Jeff:
Alright…
Casey:
That’s it for this week. We will see you again next week.
Jeff:
That’s right. One more boat cast.
Casey:
One more boat cast.
Jeff:
Maybe 2 more but…
Casey:
Maybe 2…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
One or 2 more boatcasts and then we’ll be at the new podcast studios. Thank you for tuning in.
Jeff:
Yep, thanks, everybody.
Casey:
We’ll see you next week.
Jeff:
See you next time.
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casey muratori
the jeff and casey show - season 4 - episode 29
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