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The Technician
No Imperfections Noted
The Jeff and Casey Show
Jeff and Casey Time
Casey Muratori
Seattle, WA
The Starbucks Express Restraining Order
"Why can't you just say thank you, internet, for bringing me the laughter?"
Original air date: August 11th, 2014
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Transcript
Jeff:
Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Jeff & Casey Show.
Casey:
Hello, and welcome to the Jeff & Casey Show. Now, today, we have a very special treat for everyone. If I am to understand correctly… If I am to understand Jeff correctly, today, we are finally going to get to McGruff the Crime Dog.
Jeff:
Right. And not in a joking way. So that… It just became funnier to always say that we should get to McGruff the Crime Dog.
Casey:
And to never actually get to McGruff the Crime Dog.
Jeff:
Yeah. I mean, so there’s no build-up here.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
So the McGruff the Crime Dog story…
Casey:
You don’t want to have any delay at all. You want to go right into McGruff the Crime Dog.
Jeff:
Yes. This is… I’m sorry. I’ve got a bit of a cold so we’ll have some trouble.
Casey:
Okay. That actually… So here’s the thing, actually. That reminds me of something that I did want to say at the outset of the podcast because I thought about this. Do you remember we talked a long time ago… And I think this may have been in one of the lost episodes of Jeff & Casey…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Because do you remember at the end of season 1, we pretended we were going to do this thing with clear channels.
Jeff:
Yeah, [inaudible 1:01] Yeah.
Casey:
And we had these couple episodes that then turned into the cartoon. And so we took down those 3 episodes that were then later used for the cartoon. Right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
You remember this whole situation…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Longtime listeners, very longtime listeners, will also remember this situation. But most other people have no idea what we’re talking about.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
In those episodes, there is a monologue with you, I think…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Where you talked about the barista having an eye patch.
Jeff:
Oh, right.
Casey:
Right? There’s this thing about… And I say something like, “Who cares about the barista? Like, why are people… Who do guys, specifically, it seems to be guys although maybe this exists for females, too, I don’t know… There are hipster male baristas…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I don’t know if that works on women at all?
Jeff:
No, it works. Well, I mean, Dawn has… There’s a…
Casey:
Okay. Yeah, so.
Jeff:
So there’s an Italian guy who speaks very bad English…
Casey:
Oh, okay.
Jeff:
And he’s like, “What can I get you…” And then he speaks Italian the rest…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
And like, all the girls swoon.
Casey:
And she’s done? She’s like alright, I’m into that.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Okay, so basically, it is not even gender specific.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Barista is parroting, like…
Jeff:
But there’s a difference between, again, men and women, the way they project their… Like… In both the situation of the barista and, like, strip clubs and everything else…
Casey:
Okay. Alright.
Jeff:
Where guys play out these scenarios in their mind…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Like, they see a hot girl. “I can get her [ to dinner ]. We get laid [inaudible 2:25]
Casey:
Okay. Alright.
Jeff:
They just instantly project…
Casey:
Oh, so you went all the way… It went all the way out to, like, [inaudible 2:31] together?
Jeff:
I feel most guys, when they fantasize…
Casey:
Okay. Goes the whole system…
Jeff:
Do the whole thing, I mean, it’s the thing…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
And women, when they see… They think, “Oh, he’s cute.”
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
And they giggle and laugh. But they’re not. It’s not even something they’re thinking as a possibility.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
When a guy goes to the strip club, they’re like, “I could get her. Like, if I did a few sit-ups and I come up with the right thing to say to her when she comes over to give me my lap dance…”
Casey:
Okay. Alright.
Jeff:
“We have a chance.”
Casey:
Okay. Alright.
Jeff:
No girl goes to the strip club except for the humor, not the hotness, right?
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
So it’s a different… Same thing for the barista thing…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
They’re just like… They’re just giggling and doing this but they’re not doing the, like, “Oh, I want to fuck him.” Guys just mentally go there.
Casey:
Okay. Are you sure?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Alright. How do you know this?
Jeff:
We talked about… Well, I mean, we specifically talked about the strip club thing of like…
Casey:
But who is “we”? I mean, this could be due to a small sample size, right, like let’s say you talked to, like…
Jeff:
This is true. I talked to…
Casey:
You talked to a couple girls but…
Jeff:
No, no, this is a group of…
Casey:
[inaudible 3:33]
Jeff:
No, that is totally… That is totally true. I am projecting from a small…
Casey:
Yeah. There could be girls who are like, “No, I’m gonna fuck the barista. Don’t get me wrong.”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
In fact, I know a friend… I actually remember a female friend who was like, “Yeah, I…” I can’t remember who it was. It was, like, a cartoonist…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
She was really into people who draw, like, cartoons…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
She’s like, “Yeah, yeah. I’m definitely gonna fuck him.”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Like, “I’m gonna figure out a way to meet him sometime and fuck him.”
Jeff:
Well, no there’s a separate…
Casey:
So she definitely at least was talking like a guy in that sense…
Jeff:
I’m not speaking about a specific… Like, obviously, people just have like, “I’m gonna go. I’m gonna make this happen.”
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
But there’s just a general thing of the way men and women approach…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
The way they’re goofing around mode…
Casey:
Oh, you’re right. Okay.
Jeff:
Is at a different level, I believe.
Casey:
Well, okay. So all that said…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Knowing that there’s a history of barista discussion on the Jeff & Casey Show…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
If only…
Jeff:
But that came from that girl I was seeing who was the…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
The… Watchamacallit…
Casey:
Is this the one at Hoffman’s? That’s the only time I’ve ever heard you guys talking about an eye patch.
Jeff:
No, no. There was… She had an eye patch, too, which she also found hot.
Casey:
Okay. Too?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
There are two women with an eye patch?
Jeff:
The girl I actually saw and went out with was a smoothie maker.
Casey:
Alright. Okay. Alright, which is similar to a barista, I guess.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
It’s someone who prepares a beverage.
Jeff:
That was the thing where, like, we went out…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
And then her eye got better. And I realized that’s why I dug her. And after… And then you’re like, “Oh, okay…”
Casey:
“Could you put the eye patch on, baby?”
Jeff:
“Put this on,” or like, “Hey, can we do blindfolds and, like, maybe slide the blindfold…”
Casey:
Wait, hold on a second. Okay. This is now getting into a totally different topic that I didn’t expect.
Jeff:
Oh, my God. If she ever [inaudible 5:22]
Casey:
So here’s the thing.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
What was the eye patch for? Why did she have the eye patch in the first place?
Jeff:
She was…
Casey:
It’s very rare…
Jeff:
Mountain biking and she had hit a rock, right, like here… And so, it wasn’t… It was, like, all red. And at the time I’d met her, she didn’t really need it except that it was really…
Casey:
Ugly?
Jeff:
It looked like she had a big black eye.
Casey:
Right. You don’t really want to… So you might as well keep the patch on a little bit longer…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
If you’re embarrassed about your giant black eye…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Okay. That makes sense.
Jeff:
Yeah. Anyway…
Casey:
And especially if she’s picking up guys, apparently you, at the smoothie thing…
Jeff:
And so that… That whole monologue…
Casey:
You can either have a black eye which is probably not that attractive (although it probably is to some people, scarily enough)… You know, a black eye that’s not that attractive or an eye patch which is apparently immediately Kryptonite to Jeff.
Jeff:
Yeah. That’s trouble.
Casey:
Like, Jeff will just pick you up if you ever wear an eye patch. So go with the eye patch.
Jeff:
But I didn’t know it at the time until she got better.
Casey:
Ladies fashion tip, get the eye patch.
Jeff:
And then I’m like, “Something that… That magic [ isn’t here anymore ]…”
Casey:
It’s not [inaudible 6:21] the magic’s not here anymore.
Jeff:
And then like, “Oh, the magic’s in the drawer.”
Casey:
Okay. Alright. Okay.
Jeff:
And it’s not on the face anymore.
Casey:
We just need to get that back on, yeah.
Jeff:
Yeah. Anyway.
Casey:
“Can you go mountain biking again? Baby, I need you to go mountain biking.” No. So here’s what I wanted to talk about, actually, is… So I had a barista experience.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So I wanted to sort of basically continue the trend of barista discussions on the Jeff & Casey Show because I had never really seen the stuff that you had talked about.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
I only kind of understood it secondhand like this concept that people would hit on the barista…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Because I find… I traditionally feel that, like, if you are going to hit on somebody at a place of business, you should wait until they are done.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I don’t know why I have a very rigid opinion of the formal…
Jeff:
No, that’s the polite thing to do.
Casey:
Work contract… So it’s like, I would never, in a million years, even if for some reason I was oing to hit on a barista… I would wait until after work or something…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And I don’t know exactly how… I guess… Now that I think about it, I guess if I really needed to, maybe I would have to. But I can’t think of how you would do that being a stalker, basically.
Jeff:
Right. Yeah.
Casey:
But I would want to maybe try to do it in a more formal way that would not involve work place…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Romance, if you will…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
So I had never really experienced this myself.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
But when I was here the other week… I think it was maybe a month ago or two months ago…
Jeff:
At RAD…
Casey:
Working on the debugger.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
I was, you know, working in the other room
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
I went down to the Starbucks to get a coffee as I did today. And I am in line. I order the coffee or whatever. And there’s some people in front of me who have ordered their coffees. They’re waiting, kind of in the area where you’re gonna pick up the coffee. And I order and I go stand near the display of, like, items I have never looked at. I’m sure somebody must be buying or they wouldn’t put them there. But it’s like, you know, “Oh, here is our latest mug that has a French press built into it,” or something.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
That thing. I’m standing near those things.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And there’s a woman who is making the coffee. And there’s a guy who is waiting for the coffee. And he’s standing kind of awkwardly at the place where the coffee is put down, right?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And I’m starting to get a little nervous…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Largely because of what you have told me. And I’m like, I don’t… The body language in this situation is not looking good for me.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Like, I’m thinking I’m about to be spectator to a very uncomfortable situation.
Jeff:
Right, right, right.
Casey:
So I’m a little nervous.
Jeff:
He’s got into the reptile brain and he’s… Right then, what he’s doing is projecting a future up with the barista.
Casey:
Yes, I agree. He’s probably meant to be rolling through some options or something like this. But that never goes well. Like, don’t…
Jeff:
Yeah. Nope.
Casey:
You should’ve prepared beforehand with this, dude. Like, you don’t want to… Yeah. Okay. So I’m sort of a little bit prepared for one of these, you know, “Hey, how’s it going?” Or, “You look nice today,” or something…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Something fairly straightforward… I’m feeling that’s gonna be kinda awkward but I’m ready for it because you have prepared me for this eventuality. And I’m not too nervous about what’s gonna happen. I just kind of wish that it wouldn’t. But this champ, who’s probably from fucking 343 because I was getting the 343…
Jeff:
Vibe?
Casey:
Because I know they’re in the building around here.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I was getting the 343 vibe from this sort of general… There was some guys together and I’m like… There’s some, you know…
Jeff:
Black t-shirts and cargo pants?
Casey:
There’s some sort of halo warm body feel going on with this whole crowd.
Jeff:
Yeah. You can definitely feel… And I’m not putting this on 343. I’m just… You can definitely feel the engineer vibe.
Casey:
There was some vibe.
Jeff:
And there’s like…
Casey:
And this guy was chief of the week.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So I’m there and I’m like, “Alright, this is gonna be rough…”
Jeff:
Oh, boy.
Casey:
Because I don’t think she’s gonna be into… I don’t think she’s gonna appreciate this particular comment so I’m kinda ready for it. But this dude… This dude goes… Like, there is an issue here. This guy does not have a good filter, a mental filter, for the kinds of things that maybe you should and shouldn’t say.
Jeff:
Oh, my God.
Casey:
But I didn’t know this at the time. I didn’t quite know what we were going with. He goes into… I think the first words out of his mouth were, “So you haven’t been here in a while.”
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Now, she doesn’t recognize this fellow.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Right? So it’s like he has been watching and knows her attendance at the Starbucks.
Jeff:
Right. Okay.
Casey:
And the first words out of his mouth is that he felt that he should maybe let her know…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
That he has been watching to know that she hasn’t been there.
Jeff:
I will say that’s better. I thought you were gonna say he was just gonna be like, “Hey, is that a new bra you’re wearing under that shirt?”
Casey:
No, no, no.
Jeff:
I thought it was gonna be that bad.
Casey:
But that’s… Okay, so that… The reason that I don’t actually think that’s that bad on the scale of things…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Is because that’s just, like, sleazy dude.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
But the dude…
Jeff:
This is stalker dude.
Casey:
That’s right.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So in other words, if some dude says to a girl, “Hey, that’s a nice bra,” then he’s just… He’s being a dick.
Jeff:
Right. “According to my spreadsheet, you haven’t been here in a while.”
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. But he’s like… And it was really specific. I think it was worse than what I said. I think it was like, “So…” It was something more like “you haven’t been here since Thursday.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Like, it was something where I was really worried. I was like, “Okay, I’m a little nervous. Does this girl need police protection?”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Should I be like, “Hey, if you want the police station’s right down here. You could get a restraining order on this guy if you needed to.”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right? I’m like, you know, “I used to date someone who actually is a victim advocate…”
Jeff:
“Show me on…” Right.
Casey:
It’s not that hard. You just go down, you fill out some forms. We can make this problem go away.
Jeff:
Right. “Show me on the venti where he touched you.”
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. They should have… I feel like after this experience, actually, I feel like they should have a sort of… You know how there’s different types of forms you fill out. And like… So there’s like, “Oh, this is like express check-out…”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Like, you know Amazon One Click?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
They should have like, “Oh, you’re a barista? You don’t need to fill any of this out.”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Just put in the name of the dude and which branch you work at…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And it’s like an express restraining order.
Jeff:
Yeah, exactly. Right.
Casey:
You send that in and it’s like, “We don’t do the full processing. We don’t really have to check. We know you’re probably totally telling the truth.”
Jeff:
And just to be clear…
Casey:
“We don’t need to investigate.”
Jeff:
For the guys out there that might try this, you really don’t want a restraining order at Starbucks because you can’t go anywhere. You just have to move out of the state, basically.
Casey:
’Cos they’re everywhere.
Jeff:
They’re everywhere.
Casey:
They’re everywhere. Yeah. So anyway, she is obviously very uncomfortable with this comment…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And has no idea who this guy is…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right? So she says something like, “Oh, yeah,” and, like, doesn’t really respond in any way…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
She’s just concentrating on making the coffee. And I’m like, “Oh, okay. Okay, what’s gonna happen here?”
Jeff:
Oh, fuck.
Casey:
And then, thankfully, because I didn’t know what was gonna happen here, he just kind of said something additionally creepy like, “Oh, I just, you know… ‘Cos I didn’t notice if you were here or not…” Or like, “I… I just noticed you weren’t here so I just, you know, was wondering where you were,” or something like that.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
It was something additionally creepy but that wasn’t too bad.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And thankfully, that was it.
Jeff:
“Where you at your mother’s house again?”
Casey:
Exactly.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Yeah. It was not quite as bad as that sort of thing. So anyway, I wanted to share that with you…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Just so now you know I understand. I understand what you were saying.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
I have seen it in person.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
It was traumatic. As a bystander, I was nervous.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
It did not… I feel like… If folks out there who are thinking of hitting on the barista… Maybe don’t do that.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I feel like maybe if it’s a guy barista, that might not be too bad because guys like to have their ego stroked in that way. So if you can tell that the person just wants to think he’s hot shit, maybe you could tell him that you noticed that he hadn’t been there in a while…
Jeff:
I have a better…
Casey:
But still, maybe think twice about it because most people probably don’t love that.
Jeff:
Yeah. Here’s what I would say.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
If, in a given week, the only other human interaction you have with a female is at the Starbucks, you are going to, in your head, make that a bigger deal than it is for her…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Who sees 500 of you every day.
Casey:
Right. From 343, in fact.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Literally 500 of them from 343. Yes.
Jeff:
Yeah, so just chill.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Like, when she’s nice to you, it’s not ‘cos she’s into you. When she gives you an extra little bit of whipped cream, it doesn’t mean…
Casey:
That’s her job.
Jeff:
Anything. It’s her job. And she gets tips, guys.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Like, just relax.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
And think about the fact that when you’re playing these scenarios in your head, if you see somebody…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And that is one of the rare people you see of that type of person a week…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Then your mind, in a very natural way, is going to give more importance to those meetings than they probably are worth.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
So you just go, “Hey, I get a little charge when she’s nice to me.” That’s awesome. Like, go sit down.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
But that doesn’t mean… You gotta just mentally go, “Oh, okay, but that doesn’t mean anything.”
Casey:
Okay. But now, hold on. I mean, if I may push forward on this slightly…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I feel like, though… This is coming on the heels of you saying that you picked up a girl at the smoothie place.
Jeff:
Yes, I did.
Casey:
So what…
Jeff:
No, I mean…
Casey:
I mean, what’s… So obviously, you are not living by example here. You did go ahead and pick up the girl at the smoothie place.
Jeff:
Yes. I’m just saying… You can still… Like, here’s what I’ll say. You just need to be aware of the fact in your own psyche…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
That you are placing more importance on these interactions than are there.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
And like, hey, if you always do get along, go ahead and give it your best shot.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
But the idea is you’ve got to think about these things rationally.
Casey:
How did you know? How did you determine that it was time to move in on the smoothie girl with the eye patch.
Jeff:
I didn’t have to super move in on the eye… Like…
Casey:
She was into it?
Jeff:
I… This is gonna sound really gross.
Casey:
Yeah. Well, that’s why I’m going for it.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
I want to hear the full grotesqueness of the story while I have an opening.
Jeff:
She was really into the GT, the Ford GT that I had at the time. So then…
Casey:
You little fucker.
Jeff:
So… We drove around in that…
Casey:
There is a whole podcast where you tell me that girls don’t like cars.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
There’s a whole podcast, Jeff.
Jeff:
Her dad owned… Was, like… Drove 4 little cars, like race cars…
Casey:
This had better be after you recorded that podcast.
Jeff:
It was… Oh, yeah, it was definitely after.
Casey:
You were lying to me through your teeth in that whole podcast, Jeff.
Jeff:
No, no, no. That’s literally the only time a woman has ever cared about a car I bought.
Casey:
Okay. Well…
Jeff:
So I didn’t really have to make things… So I’m like…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
“Hey, let’s go for a ride sometime.”
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
And then just like… Yeah.
Casey:
Okay. So basically, this is gonna be the worst…
Jeff:
She did key my car when we split up, though, so it did go…
Casey:
No.
Jeff:
She didn’t key the GT. She keyed the DB9. So…
Casey:
The what?
Jeff:
The Aston Martin. There was a little…
Casey:
Oh… Nicolas Cage’s Aston Martin? She keyed Nicolas Cage’s Aston Martin?
Jeff:
Yeah, effectively.
Casey:
Are you serious?
Jeff:
Yeah, it was a little bit…
Casey:
Does Nicolas Cage know about this?
Jeff:
I don’t think so.
Casey:
I don’t think he knows you bought the car. That’s thing number 1, right? ‘Cos that was that whole thing with the manager…
Jeff:
“You…”
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
“You, get the car. You, go do this.”
Casey:
“Not the bees. Not the bees, the bees… Aaah…” Alright. So… Okay. This whole…
Jeff:
We are…
Casey:
This is all great.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I’m loving every minute of this.
Jeff:
No, this is not good.
Casey:
So here’s the problem that I see because there is a problem here.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I was trying to tell people who listen to this podcast not to hit on the girl at the Starbucks because it felt like it was impolite.
Jeff:
I think you should generally…
Casey:
Okay, but hold on.
Jeff:
You should let them make the first move is I would say.
Casey:
But here’s the thing. We’re fucked now because basically what you did is now you made it so that all these fucking guys are gonna go get a fucking Ford GT or something and, like, park it very obviously outside the Starbucks… Like, they’re just gonna follow your example…
Jeff:
You could try that.
Casey:
You could try?
Jeff:
You could try that. Here’s the thing I’ll say.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Just let the girl make the first move.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
If it’s in a work situation.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Because it’s her job and whatever…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And also, just keep always mentally…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Aware of the fact…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And this is not about baristas or anything else…
Casey:
Yes, people in general.
Jeff:
This is general people, like… It’s very easy for people… And I do this all the time.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Of like, if I see somebody a number of times…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Because I’m very introverted into my world of computers…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
And so, if I see the same person 3 or 4 times…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
I mentally go, “Okay, we are buds because we run into each other every day because it’s a bigger deal for me than it is for her.”
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Or them or whoever it is. And so, you need to just be aware of that and just be going…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
“Okay, whatever I emotionally feel about what’s going on, just dial that down a bit because, like, oh hey…” It’s just being aware of your own psychology a bit. And engineers could stand to do more self-analysis of that type, in my opinion.
Casey:
So I feel like basically what you’re saying is when you received the smoothie from the girl with the eye patch…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
The first words out of your mouth shouldn’t be, “Oh, I was just thinking about you and I sharing a smoothie when we are 60 together.”
Jeff:
No, do not do that. No, no…
Casey:
Don’t explain the full projection out that you’ve had…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
About you and the eye patch having smoothies…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
In this far future, just in experience…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Although…
Jeff:
“You know, some days, I really imagine you and I in a clan together.” Like…
Casey:
Right. Yeah.
Jeff:
Left for Dead or…
Casey:
Oh, right. Right. Halo, yeah.
Jeff:
So…
Casey:
“Have you ever teach bagged a dude? I mean online…”
Jeff:
Yeah, “Sorry, I meant online. I mean, that sounded bad.”
Casey:
“Yeah. I mean, obviously, you know, not real life because it doesn’t make any sense.” But anyway… Okay. But these are good… I feel like… I almost feel like a “Jeff’s Dating Tips” part of the show might be… This is the first time we’ve really had that. I feel like it’s been valuable. I don’t feel like you… You didn’t give a good sort of summary on in the future, you know… Like, let’s say you wanted to avoid having your car keyed. Is there really any way or that’s just something that’s gonna happen?
Jeff:
That was totally… Yeah, it was a misunderstanding.
Casey:
Oh, it was a misunderstanding?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Okay. Alright. Okay.
Jeff:
No, there was a number of things that didn’t go great with that situation.
Casey:
No?
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Well, alright. We’ll just leave it at that. So, moving on…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
To McGruff the Crime Dog…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Which, I believe, is the actual topic for today’s show…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Although there is one thing I should ask before that which is when are we starting… Because remember, I told you the other day that I was gonna stop washing my hair. I stopped washing my hair…
Jeff:
You stopped early. Yeah, we were gonna do that together. I’m…
Casey:
We still can because I sort of… I mean, I did shampoo it once in the time…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
So the full on, like, full stop… When is that happening? When are we gonna stop shampooing our hairs?
Jeff:
Let’s stop when I come back on the 18th.
Casey:
So the 18th of August, we will stop… So at PAX, everyone will see us…
Jeff:
We’ll be peak…
Casey:
Full on, no shampoo hair?
Jeff:
Yeah, we’ll be at peak hair.
Casey:
Okay. Alright.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Because everyone will be in town for that. So that ought to be good.
Jeff:
Yeah, that ought to be great. Yeah.
Casey:
Alright. Okay. Alright. So 18th, I’ve got it.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
I will make sure that I am fully prepared.
Jeff:
I’m a little nervous because I have a lot of product in my hair. And so, like, I’m… I’m gonna… We’ll see what happens.
Casey:
So if you put product in your hair, then what are you gonna do? Because you gotta wash that shit out.
Jeff:
We shall rinse out every day. So I think it just…
Casey:
Does the product come out with just a rinse, though?
Jeff:
I think so. We’ll see.
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
Yeah. I might have to do the baking soda thing.
Casey:
Baking soda?
Jeff:
Yeah. Well, the baking soda is what… People who go fully no shampoo at all…
Casey:
They just use baking soda?
Jeff:
Yeah, they, once a month, use baking soda.
Casey:
Which is what? A base?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Is it basic?
Jeff:
It binds to the oils or something.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
It acts as a cleaner.
Casey:
Once a month, baking soda.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Alright. Should I buy it?
Jeff:
3 parts water, 1 part baking soda. I’ve looked this up.
Casey:
Oh, wait. So they make like a solution?
Jeff:
Yeah, a little solution.
Casey:
Like a Sherlock Holmes…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
The 3 to 1 solution or whatever you just said…
Jeff:
Right. Exactly.
Casey:
Okay. Alright.
Jeff:
Exactly.
Casey:
Yeah, that was the thing. So this, we probably should talk about in the podcast since he listens to it. So Sean Barrett recently…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I cannot believe this. Sean Barrett wrote a story, a multi-part story…
Jeff:
Are we allowed to talk about this?
Casey:
I’m not going to talk about the specifics.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
He sent me…
Jeff:
Part 1.
Casey:
Part 1 of a multi-part story and was like, “What do you think about this?” And I sent back like…
Jeff:
“I liked it.”
Casey:
Like, I think I said, “Loved it. Here’s some suggestions.” I was like… I had… Because it was on a topic that I am particularly passionate about.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
I was like, “Here’s a bunch of things I think you should put in it when you re-write it.” I mean, ‘cos he was like, “This is a draft.”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And I’m like, “Okay, so for the next draft, here’s some things that I think would be really cool. And I can’t wait to see the next part.” And he writes back to me, “Oh, I wasn’t gonna re-write it or do another part.” Who does that?
Jeff:
Yeah, Sean is…
Casey:
Who does that to a person? Sean…
Jeff:
Wait, you feel that was an insult to you? Or not an insult, an injury…
Casey:
It wasn’t an insult. I don’t think it was an insult. I think it’s a tease.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Who puts out part 1 of a story that someone wants to read…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I was emotionally invested now in the story…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And I want to see what’s gonna happen.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And he’s like…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
He’s just like, “No. That’s not gonna happen.”
Jeff:
Yeah, I don’t know who would do that. I don’t know who would do that. No.
Casey:
Why are you saying that?
Jeff:
Because you did that to me so badly…
Casey:
What are you talking about?
Jeff:
Your first book, I loved the character so much…
Casey:
What? Which book?
Jeff:
The… “No Imperfections Noted” which is a great book…
Casey:
But there’s a volume 2 coming…
Jeff:
I know but, like, I’m teased… I’m like… You…
Casey:
But I don’t… I have never said that there isn’t a second book coming.
Jeff:
You could die. You could get hit by a bus and I have no idea what’s gonna happen to them all…
Casey:
Okay, look. There is a huge difference if Sean just said, “Yeah, in a couple months I’ll get to it.”
Jeff:
I’m just saying you’re not the person to be complaining about this.
Casey:
Yes, I am.
Jeff:
No, you’re not.
Casey:
I absolutely am. That’s ridiculous.
Jeff:
Oh, my God.
Casey:
That’s totally ridiculous.
Jeff:
I’m just saying.
Casey:
I am totally… I don’t believe that’s… I feel like Sean… This is me specifically calling you out on this…
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
I feel like you have an obligation…
Jeff:
Do you feel this public exposure will cause Sean to finish the other ones for you?
Casey:
No, because I feel like…
Jeff:
I feel when Sean doesn’t want to do something, he doesn’t do it.
Casey:
Sean…
Jeff:
You can’t trick him into doing it.
Casey:
I feel like this is more venting.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Basically, I have come to the conclusion that Sean… Because Sean is his own person and decided what he wants to do…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Which I think is a good thing… But I pleaded with him to write the second part and he’s turned me down. So I felt like my only recourse now is to air this, to get it off my chest…
Jeff:
But if you keep giving…
Casey:
The harbor…
Jeff:
He did do the other promise for you and John. So maybe, like…
Casey:
That is true.
Jeff:
[inaudible 25:37]
Casey:
He never said he wasn’t going to do that.
Jeff:
Oh.
Casey:
He’s always said he was gonna… He promised. He always said he was gonna do the promise.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
So that was not… And I don’t rush people. I know it takes a long time to do creative things. I know there’s not a lot of time for these things. We all have jobs. So I totally respect that. But I feel like you can’t hang a brother out to dry.
Jeff:
So if he just had said… If he just said, “Oh, it’ll be coming,” that would’ve been enough?
Casey:
He could’ve been like, “It will probably take me 5 years or whatever.”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I’d be like, “Okay, that’s cool.”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Like, I know that that’s what that takes sometimes…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
As long as you’re gonna still let me know what happens.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
But you’ve got to deliver. Once you give someone a little bit, a taste… It’s like a drug dealer. Once you give them a little hit, you’ve got to be able to sell them…
Jeff:
You gotta be able to back that up.
Casey:
You gotta be able to back that shit up.
Jeff:
Yeah, that’s right. Alright.
Casey:
Sean, please write the second part of the story. Because I wanted to read it.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
And I think it would be good.
Jeff:
I think that’s important.
Casey:
I think it’s important. Yeah.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
So, I don’t know what else we’ve got to cover here on this show.
Jeff:
Where did we start… Oh, the fucking McGruff…
Casey:
Oh, right. McGruff… Okay, okay. McGruff the Crime Dog.
Jeff:
You want to stick to McGruff for a second?
Casey:
Do you… I don’t know. I don’t actually know…
Jeff:
This is gonna be a serious topic. Can we switch from a serious topic to the silliness we’ve had or do you want to keep going with the silly stuff?
Casey:
I don’t know. I mean, I’ve got McGruff the Crime Dog up here. I don’t know if you want…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
I don’t know what you want to do in terms of covering McGruff or if you had other things…
Jeff:
This is a personal thing I’m working on. So maybe it kinda works in the sense of what we’re talking about.
Casey:
Did you have other stuff that you wanted to cover? I mean, I guess that could be one thing.
Jeff:
No. Let’s…
Casey:
So you’re done with that?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, we would like to present to you now…
Jeff:
McGruff the Crime Dog…
Casey:
Ten episodes in the coming, at least…
Jeff:
In the making…
Casey:
McGruff the Crime Dog.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
I will set the stage for everyone.
Jeff:
Yeah. First tell the story because this is… I don’t even care about McGruff the Crime Dog. What I want to talk about is related to it.
Casey:
Right. So I’m gonna set the stage for everyone. McGruff the Crime Dog, obviously, we all know who he was. He featured in ads and other sort of promotional materials to try to cut down on crime. And as the sort of… The well-meaning, I’m sure, government peoples and public awareness peoples that they are, they always think that it’s a good idea to kind of have a mascot like Smokey the bear for preventing forest fires and all this sort of shit.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Now, they don’t think about the fact that this basically gives everyone a big pi_ata to focus their amusement on or whatever. But you know, they’re like, “Alright, kids,” you know, [ they have ] McGruff the Crime Dog. So McGruff the Crime Dog was this person that appeared in ads. Hopefully, you’ve seen them. It’s a big old dog who wears a trench coat and he used to say something along the lines of, “Take a bite out of crime.” This is what I remember from the days when I used to see McGruff the Crime Dog.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
“Help us take a bite out of crime by doing something.” And that something was probably something stupid that had nothing to do with taking a bite out of crime.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Because it was based on bad police data or whatever. It’s like, “Hey, you know what, stop and frisk your neighbor to take a bite out of crime,” or whatever, right? It’s some bullshit thing.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
“Call the swat team on your neighbor for maybe potentially growing some marijuana,” or whatever the fuck. Take a bite out of crime. So obviously, everyone knew who this was. And recently, there was a story in the news. And the headline was “McGruff the Crime Dog actor…”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So someone who had portrayed McGruff by putting on his big sort of floppy head and wearing the trenchcoat. “McGruff the Crime Dog actor sentenced to 16 years for pot, grenade launcher.”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So apparently, the 16 years is for some mixture of having pot…
Jeff:
Right, some gun laws and…
Casey:
And an illegal weapon… Illegal substance, illegal weapon… Now, if he only held out a little longer or done it in Washington State, he might have gotten away on the pot thing. Grenade launchers… I don’t know how the NRA has gotten very far on those.
Jeff:
I mean, you still have the problem of, you know, when you’re using the grenade launcher…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
The DUI checks they do, you know…
Casey:
Right, right, right…
Jeff:
Because I don’t know… Our foreign listeners don’t know we all have grenade launchers in America.
Casey:
GUI is I think what you’re looking for.
Jeff:
Right. And so, they’re very careful, when you get your grenade launcher out…
Casey:
Right. Yeah.
Jeff:
’Cos you’re gonna launch some grenades here in America.
Casey:
Oh, yeah.
Jeff:
Like, that’s what we do.
Casey:
Right, yeah.
Jeff:
But when you’re doing that, you gotta make sure that your blood alcohol is below 0.8 here, right?
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
That’s the limit for when it…
Casey:
Here’s well… Okay. I have…
Jeff:
So then now, because in Washington State, now that weed’s legal, we have limits of marijuana levels.
Casey:
Right. Yes, exactly.
Jeff:
And marijuana stays in your system longer. So there’s a lot of uproar about, like, this isn’t really a legit way to test for this and all that.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So it could just be caught in the system.
Casey:
Well, I kind of… And I talked about this a little bit before which is that, you know, I feel like the onus… A lot of people are like, “Oh, a grenade launcher,” or whatever, right, but the onus, in my opinion, is kind of on the parents, right? Teach your kids how to launch grenades safely.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
That’s the thing because I feel like if kids grow up understanding how to use grenades effectively and, you know, either for recreation or for food, for hunting for example, right? Then I feel like they’ve got a better sort of sense about grenade safety, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And keep your grenade launchers locked up.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Keep those grenade launchers locked up. Here’s the thing…
Jeff:
Like, you don’t want to just keep them in your nightstand.
Casey:
Go down to the grenade range.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Just go down to the grenade range and blast some grenades if you have to, right? Don’t… You know, maybe don’t do that in your back yard where you may accidentally grenade something that shouldn’t have been grenade, you know?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
That’s kind of the way I think of it.
Jeff:
I just think teaching kids grenade safety early is the way that they’re gonna grow up and not have problems later on…
Casey:
Right. Yes.
Jeff:
I think you still have the problems of people getting…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Drinking while they’re grenade launching…
Casey:
There’s problems, yeah.
Jeff:
Because, like, you have grenade launching parties and everybody’s sitting around…
Casey:
But it really is… It’s usually the kids that bother me. If someone grenades themselves accidentally, so they were drunk or whatever, it’s like, “Alright, that was their own fault.” But you know, one thing that people don’t appreciate…
Jeff:
It’s the bystanders…
Casey:
A 6-month old has enough pressure in their finger to pull the pin on a grenade.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
That’s something a lot of people don’t know. That grip strength…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
That they can just pull that pin, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And they’re gonna go right for it. They’ll put that in their teeth. They’ll do it marine-style. And they can’t throw it very far.
Jeff:
No, it doesn’t get…
Casey:
That’s the thing people don’t know.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
But baby loves that… It barely even leaves their little crib, right? A lot of times, it’s a bounce back situation. People [ who’ve played that ] know what I’m talking about.
Jeff:
Well, also, most kids have their toy grenades that they play with.
Casey:
Right. Yeah.
Jeff:
So it’s hard to tell the difference…
Casey:
It is. That’s a good point.
Jeff:
Between the toy grenade and the real one…
Casey:
Yeah, they find dad’s grenade launcher. It can be a real grenade launcher, yeah.
Jeff:
And then, like, “Oh…” So anyway, just keep them… Don’t leave them in your nightstand. Don’t leave them high up in the closet because kids find that stuff.
Casey:
Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
Put them in your lock. Lock them down.
Casey:
Lock them down.
Jeff:
Anyway, so McGruff…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
So the humor in the McGruff story…
Casey:
Well, I will read it to you because it’s not very long.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
“John Morales, an actor who has portrayed McGruff the Crime Dog, was sentenced last week to sixteen years in prison for multiple drug and weapons charges. Authorities pulled over Morales, 41, for speeding in 2011, and a drug-sniffing actual dog quickly alerted police to more serious crimes.”
Jeff:
I like that they’re like, “Not another McGruff…”
Casey:
“Not another…” Because he’s [inaudible 32:51] McGruff on McGruff…
Jeff:
There’s an actual dog…. Right.
Casey:
Like, no one catches McGruff like McGruff.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
“I know how he thinks.”
Jeff:
Right, right, right.
Casey:
“Cops found blueprints for pot-growing facilities sitting on his front seat, and a later search of his home turned up over 1,000 marijuana plants,” that’s a pretty good operation for McGruff.
Jeff:
Okay. But wait… How… You can’t tell from… He must’ve said, “Can we search your car?” And they looked… Because you can’t tell from a blueprint that it’s pot growing unless you really get down into the nitty gritty.
Casey:
Dude, it probably… Okay. A pothead’s grow operation blueprint are probably, like, some sketches on a fucking napkin with a thing that says, “Pot plants” with an arrow that points to it, right? Blueprints is not a fucking… It’s not a hard hat construction thing where they, like, rolled it out on the table. There wasn’t like a trailer out on the thing…
Jeff:
Yeah, that’s possibly true…
Casey:
Where they’re like, “Oh, yeah, okay.” Foreman comes in and he’s like, “Everyone know what they’re doing today? Here’s the plans. I don’t know why they have us pouring concrete over here,” right? That’s not what happened.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
It’s just some fucking little doodle like in a graph paper book if you’re lucky.
Jeff:
I still don’t feel like that would give… That’s like pothead’s doodle of, like, what he would make if he could…
Casey:
Right. It’s like a spaceship…
Jeff:
Yeah, like all this crazy shit with a recliner that has a bong…
Casey:
Right. Yeah.
Jeff:
Retracting out of the armrest…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
All that shit. Isn’t enough… That doesn’t seem to me to be probable cause to search his house for the thousand pot plants.
Casey:
These days? Are you kidding?
Jeff:
No, no. I understand. I’m just saying that sounds…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
This… When I read this part, I was just like, the whole arrest sounds pretty shitty. Like…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
But anyway…
Casey:
So they searched his house, they found the thousand marijuana plants…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
“9,000 rounds of ammunition…”
Jeff:
So he was not caught, let’s be clear… He was not like, “Oh, here’s my personal weed.” He had a thousand pot plants.
Casey:
Right. Right. Yeah.
Jeff:
He was a serious…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
This was a serious situation.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Do you think he ever watered the plants in the costume? Like…
Casey:
So… Okay, if… First of all, the chances that his brand of marijuana… Because they’ve all got names for that…
Jeff:
Oh, right…
Casey:
The chances that his brand of marijuana wasn’t McGruff-related are, like zero.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
But there’s, like, no chance that there wasn’t basically, like, McGruffing or whatever.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
I don’t know what it would be called but it would be called McGruff’s secret stash…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Or like, “Take a bite out of time…”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
I don’t know what the fuck it would be called, right… “Take a puff out of crime,” or something like that. So that’s definitely happening. Like, I want to see the baggies with the label.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Because I have a feeling that they were pretty awesome, right? But that said, it says, “9,000 rounds of ammunition,” so he was ready to defend these pot plants against something. I’m not sure what.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
“And twenty-seven weapons, the most of troubling of which was probably,” probably, “the grenade launcher.”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So out of the 27, it was not a slam dunk, the grenade…
Jeff:
Right. It was a toss-up between…
Casey:
It was a toss-up.
Jeff:
The automatic stabbing gun…
Casey:
Now, we don’t know what the other weapon… We don’t know what the other [inaudible 35:55] Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
“Morales pleaded guilty, but the judge was unswayed by his insistence that he was non-violent. ‘Everything I read about you makes you seem like a scary person,’ she said, sentencing him to sixteen years.”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So that’s…
Jeff:
I mean, you’re a pitbull. So you just seem…
Casey:
Was he a pitbull?
Jeff:
No, I’m joking.
Casey:
He looked like maybe a sort of a…
Jeff:
Beagle or something…
Casey:
Beagle-y kind of a dog…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I don’t know what he was supposed to be. That’s a good question. McGruff the Crime Dog… I don’t know what to say. I expected more from you, you know. Kids looked up to you.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
They were trying to take a bite out of crime and you were trying to take a bite out of a bag of [ Fritos ] apparently.
Jeff:
Right. Well, he was taking a bite of crime himself.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So let me… Alright, so that’s the story.
Casey:
That is…
Jeff:
That is McGruff.
Casey:
But you didn’t want to talk about that…
Jeff:
No, I didn’t want to talk about that.
Casey:
Because you, you were the one who sent this in, right?
Jeff:
I am trying to work on something personally and this is related to it.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
And I fail at this all the time.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
And so, we can point this out when we do it and talk about it.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Okay. So this story…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Man gets caught with a thousand pot plants and a lot of automatic weapons, goes to jail…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Is not inherently funny or silly or anything.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Right. It is the fact that he was McGruff the Crime Dog.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Right? So it’s similar to a lot of internet stories where you’re like, “Oh, this guy fucked some children.”
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And you’re like, “Oh, that’s horrible.”
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
“Oh, but he was also the town’s… The guy who was pushing the porn filter on all the [ home ] [inaudible 37:26] right, like in the UK.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Okay. The guy that gets called for child porn is installing the filter.
Casey:
Right. Right. It’s captain kangaroo or whatever…
Jeff:
Right. So you do these things over and over… These things happen over and over. The guy who’s anti-gay is fucking everybody…
Casey:
Yep, right, everyone at the rest stop.
Jeff:
Right, at the rest stop. But they’re only funny because of that… I don’t know if that’s necessarily iron or… It’s probably not irony.
Casey:
It’s irony.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Okay. So…
Casey:
Irony is… The weird thing about irony is if you look up the definition of irony, it’s unspecific. It’s like we don’t really know what it is. There’s a lot of ways in which it happens. But basically, what it means…
Jeff:
Well, there’s also the 3 kinds. There’s, like, situational irony and like…
Casey:
But not really. That’s, like, sort of almost a misnomer, too. Like, irony is basically like something that happens in a story of some kind whether it’s real or whatever.
Jeff:
Right. But they have to be… But the person has to be doing something…
Casey:
That turns it around.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It’s basically just like if the thing gets turned around, at some point, you can find a way to call this irony because everyone now calls…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
It’s just like… And it’s not even modern only. Like, this is true just throughout history, apparently, is that irony is just like… Saying that something’s ironic is very broad.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
So I’m pretty sure you’re covered here.
Jeff:
Okay. What I’ve been thinking about lately is that this is (for me anyway)…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
The shittiest form of humor. Like, it is the humor…
Casey:
The shittiest form…
Jeff:
The humor that the least work goes into. It’s like…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
There’s not… It’s way down there in the sense of nothing is funny about this except for this other little related fact to it, right?
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And like, hey, if you’re writing a story and you’re trying to make something funny, you just do that little twist. It would be like… Feels like really shitty writing to me…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
In my head. And that’s personal preference. But what I’ve been trying to do… And the reason I wanted to bring this up…
Casey:
Now, I would like to disagree with the premise just right off the bat, though.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Because personally, if I went to a movie that’s called “McGruff the Crime Dog” and it’s about a guy who plays McGruff the Crime Dog but then ends up being a gangster. I want to see that movie. I don’t think that’s bad writing at all. I’d like to see more of that kind of writing.
Jeff:
Yeah, see. I don’t.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
That specifically… I think that’s…
Casey:
Like…
Jeff:
I don’t think that’s…
Casey:
When we had gone to “Transformers”, right… If it turns out Optimus Prime is just really into hauling cargo around eventually, they’re like, “Optimus!” And he’s just like, “I just feel like trucking some freight around. I’m a truck. It’s what I was built to do,” or whatever… I like that.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I want to see that movie.
Jeff:
I feel…
Casey:
I like it when people’s thing is referenced whether it’s because they now are doing it and you didn’t expect them to or because they’re doing the opposite of it. I think that’s all great.
Jeff:
Yeah. I don’t. And I feel like for me, it’s something I’m going specifically…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Over the last couple months… I’ve been trying not to participate in…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
So in the times when you’re like, “Oh, hey…” I don’t know what the random next thing… Oh, the one I read this morning. ‘Cos now, it’s like… There’s something about the internet…
Casey:
Wait, did you just say you’re trying not to participate in it but you read one this morning?
Jeff:
Well, I mean, it was… This is like the way a lot of… These are the kinds of things that carry virally really well.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
So the thing that I had come across today was somebody complaining about the fact that Michael Moore lives in a 50 million Dollar house.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
And they’re like, “Oh, hey… Blablablabla… He’s supposed to be the leader of…”
Casey:
“Roger and me and my 50 million Dollar house…”
Jeff:
Yeah. And I’m reading that and like, the only way… Like, you say a director who’s made a series of hits who’ve all made a lot of money for very inexpensive has a 50 million Dollar house, you’d be like, “Of course he does.”
Casey:
Yeah. And 49 million of that’s the kitchen. So I don’t know… I mean…
Jeff:
Yeah. Okay. Same thing.
Casey:
Yeah, I know. I’m in there. I’m in it to win it.
Jeff:
So that was a specific example this morning of something like… Alright, I’m trying… Like, that… I don’t feel like, A, it’s that funny because i think it’s always obvious what the thing is.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And B, the funny for the sake of just the irony part of it is, like, not… It’s not enough.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
At least for me. So anyway, that’s what the whole McGruff thing was. I read that. I was like… That was the McGruff that broke the camel’s back of like…
Casey:
Okay, alright. Okay.
Jeff:
You know what, I don’t need any more of these…
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
And so, this isn’t the humor I’m looking for anymore.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
I want more out of my viral stories now.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
I don’t need to see the random, like, “Oh, hey…” And there’s entire websites like, you know, the one that tricks people all the time, the right wing one where you’re like, “Oh, you know, the gay…”
Casey:
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually someone…
Jeff:
It comes up all the time.
Casey:
People send it in to the podcast.
Jeff:
Right, because…
Casey:
There’s not one dude who sends these links all the time and then goes, “Oh, fuck it. It was that fake site again.”
Jeff:
Yeah. Because, I mean, if you write them well, it’s hard to tell.
Casey:
Right. Yes.
Jeff:
But again, the only thing funny about those stories is the irony or the juxtaposition of the person. Nothing of what they were doing is necessarily that funny except for this other thing.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Because like, hey, you see the normal thing of, like, “Oh, no. There’s this guy. He’s closeted. He’s really sad. He can’t do anything about it. So he goes to a truck stop and has sex with guys on the side because he can’t reconcile that with his life…”
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
It’s a sad story until you’re like, “He’s the local pastor who spews homophobic things on Sunday…” Like…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
That’s not enough to make it funny for me is what I was getting at.
Casey:
That is…
Jeff:
That’s my McGruff the Crime Dog rant of, like, that is something I’m going to try to be… That is a specific thing I’m going to try to improve about myself of not falling into that trap.
Casey:
So I feel like there’s a nuance here that we are not appreciating, that you are not appreciating.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So, I think that there is something to be said for… Okay. Let’s put aside McGruff the Crime Dog for a second because I think there’s actually a different humor in McGruff the Crime Dog. I think you didn’t pick a particularly good example here.
Jeff:
Yeah, maybe not.
Casey:
Because it’s actually pothead with blueprints of his thousand pot plants…
Jeff:
Yeah…
Casey:
It’s actually kind of funny.
Jeff:
That’s why I laughed when we were starting because the blueprints, I didn’t remember. Yeah.
Casey:
Yeah, this whole thing… Like, this one’s actually got actual humor in it. So let’s put that aside for a second…
Jeff:
Yeah, but… So tracked out the McGruff, that [inaudible 44:28]
Casey:
So let’s put that aside for a second and let’s focus on, say, Larry… Let’s focus on a [ wide stance ] situation where there isn’t anything… Like, there’s nothing inherently funny about a dude fucking another dude at a rest stop. It’s just 2 dudes fucking.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
There’s nothing…
Jeff:
Happens all the time.
Casey:
It’s not even remarkable.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
It’s just like… I mean, it’s remarkable if you didn’t understand that there were homosexuals in the world or something…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
But assuming that you are at least somewhat aware of the world and how it works, there’s nothing particularly odd about this. So focusing on that for a second…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Where there is no inherent humor. And then, you’re sort of saying it becomes funny because it’s Larry Craig, because it’s somebody who would absolutely denounce the fact…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
That 2 homosexuals had sex in a rest stop or something like this, right?
Jeff:
Right. And the second thing there that scares me a little bit is, like, I don’t like the way the discourse is there.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Like, if we’re gonna talk about gay rights with Larry Craig, let’s talk about gay rights. Let’s not try to just… Let’s not you do that… Let’s not do… Let’s not talk about poverty in the United States by making fun of Michael Moore’s house. Like, it’s the same thing to me. It’s like… It’s the easy way you tear apart politicians without addressing the argument.
Casey:
Right. Okay. So what I was gonna about that is I… The part of your premise that I disagree with is the concept that the humor has anything to do with that relationship.
Jeff:
ok
Casey:
This gets back to what I was saying. And I said this recently. I think I said it on this season, in fact, was that I never make fun of, say, a fat person for being fat.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Ever. I make fun of a fat person because they have pissed me off.
Jeff:
Oh, I see.
Casey:
And the thing that I pick is the fact that they’re fat because that was the most obvious thing to me at the time.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And that is true across the board. Like, in general, I never pick on someone’s shortcomings because I think there’s anything… Like, we all have shortcomings.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
What happens is once you piss me off, everything’s on the table.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So if I happen to notice that you’re fat, we’re going right for that because I know I can get at you, right?
Jeff:
What I’m saying is [ it’s absolutely ] good.
Casey:
It’s an attack factor.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Now…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
The same thing is true, I think in general, of humor just in this broad sense, right? There’s humor in everything. Anything… We can make fun of anything.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
We can make fun of the fact that you aren’t fat. We can make fun of anything. If you’re a creative comedian, you can make fun of anything.
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
So it’s not about your physical appearance. It’s not about what you say. It’s not about any of those things. It’s just once we decide to make fun of you, we’re going to figure out a way. We have the technology.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Okay? So like, moving it to the Larry Craig situation, there’s a million things that are hilarious about two dudes fucking at the rest stop.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
A million things. So what I think it is is it’s the fact that we don’t like Larry Craig…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
So we decide we’re going to… You know, we have choices. Some people, and we want this, are going to debate Larry Craig on the issues. And that’s good. Other people are going to blow off some steam by making fun of Larry Craig. And that, I think, is also totally fine. And the fact that he was fucking another dud in the rest stop, just like any two people are fucking whether they’re dudes or not dudes, guy and a girl, 2 girls, whatever, fucking threesome… I don’t care what… It’s funny. There’s funny-ness to be had any time sex is at play at all. So all it does is it unlocks the situation. It’s saying, “Let’s start making fun of this because that’s one way that we deal with the situation which inherently is kind of problematic which is a dude who is anti-gay rights…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Which tends to be kind of bad… Let’s make fun of that and then, we all have a good time. It’s at his expense but maybe he shouldn’t have been so anti-gay if he didn’t want that.
Jeff:
I don’t even think…
Casey:
At some point, people get made fun of. It’s okay.
Jeff:
Yes. And my argument is that’s just the laziest thing to pick.
Casey:
It’s not lazy.
Jeff:
I think it is. I think it’s like…
Casey:
No, it’s not.
Jeff:
There’s a million things like if you want…
Casey:
I strongly disagree…
Jeff:
If you want to make fun of Larry Craig…
Casey:
I strongly disagree…
Jeff:
There’s a million funnier things to do.
Casey:
Okay. Not only do I disagree but I have recently listened to the podcast where you and I made fun of Larry Craig. It is fucking hysterical.
Jeff:
Okay. I am saying…
Casey:
We go through this whole thing where we talk about, like, all of the appropriations for the military. And we’re going like, “I think Larry Craig is trying to give our troops the Hummers that they need…” Like, there’s this whole thing. It’s awesome. I was dying. It was so good. How dare you take that away from the world, Jeff.
Jeff:
I’m not taking away from the world. I’m saying that… And like, certainly, usually when we go in our crazy in-depthness…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
I don’t necessarily have a problem with that.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
What I have a problem with is just the “haha homophobe politician was caught with his pants down with a guy”…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Is the easy thing. And it’s what all the internet… It’s what that McGruff the Crime Dog story is when it says McGruff the Crime Dog, busted in the thing.
Casey:
Right. Yeah.
Jeff:
And that is disinteresting to me.
Casey:
Now wait, here’s the point… It’s just breakfast cereal. Okay…
Jeff:
It’s not breakfast cereal.
Casey:
We’re not going to the fancy restaurant.
Jeff:
It’s shitty as sugar. Yeah.
Casey:
We’re not going to the thing.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Some people like Frosted Flakes.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
You could have Frosted Flakes.
Jeff:
I am saying…
Casey:
The world is not filled with only perfectly nutritious foods. There’s dessert involved.
Jeff:
I am going to work on my nutrition, humor-wise, and be like, “I don’t need to participate in that.” Like, it’s not that funny to me.
Casey:
This is not a [inaudible 50:16]
Jeff:
Unless there is a direction and there’s something interesting to take on it separate from the… You know, it’s the guy in from the… You know, it’s the guy in the Simpsons that goes, “Ha ha,” to everything…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
That’s the only response to most of these internet stories. And that is the only thing…
Casey:
No, it’s not the only response. You and I have done shows where [ we see ] some funny stuff on these things…
Jeff:
No, I’m saying. Sure…
Casey:
If we…
Jeff:
Drilling into the topic is fine with me. But what I don’t like is this superficial internet-y thing of, like, “Here is the asshole of the week who did something,” and then you laugh and then move on. That’s the part…
Casey:
But that’s [inaudible 50:52] We can’t make fun of these things if people don’t mind them. Okay, look. If you’re a dude, okay…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Who goes into the coal mine to get the coal out, right, you don’t need some asshole sitting there telling you, like, “What am I supposed to do with this? This fucking lump of coal… Anyone could just go down and get it.” It’s like…
Jeff:
No…
Casey:
Okay. We have to refine it. We have to make raw materials out of it…
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
Or burn it for energy, yes. But somebody has to go get the coal. If nobody ever reported that Larry Craig was fucking a dude at the rest stop, then we can’t do a show on it. You need someone. You need the internet to gather these raw materials. Those people aren’t the people who are gonna make something out of it.
Jeff:
No, the stories are gonna happen regardless.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
They happen every day.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
No. What I’m saying is the take of the story of, like, op-ed dude writes this little 2-paragraph shitty thing where he thinks he’s funny…
Casey:
Yeah. Okay.
Jeff:
It’s the part I’m not participating. I’m just like…
Casey:
But you weren’t participating in that before.
Jeff:
No, I used… I mean, I would turn around and forward that to people like, “Oh, that’s funny.”
Casey:
Yeah, but you forward everything.
Jeff:
No, I am not…
Casey:
I mean, I know you forward everything.
Jeff:
I am… This is what I’m saying…
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
And you can give me shit about it when I fail…
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
Is I’m trying not to do the… Like, stay away from that obvious bullshit.
Casey:
Which is what? Which is just… You’re not gonna read the op-ed. That’s the… All this bullshit… You got me all riled up and all you were saying is you’re not gonna read an op-ed about Larry Craig.
Jeff:
No, it’s not reading the op-ed. It’s, like, passing it on, forwarding it, treating that as… Trying to look at my humor more nutritiously, as you put it, and be like, “Alright, you know what? I’m not going to spend time thinking about these things or getting outraged or un-outraged which is, a lot of times, what happens with me where you’re just like, “Oh, no. Here’s another one of these fucking guys…”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Scout master…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
With the kids…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Like, oh, my God. He’s fucking… I’m like, no. I’m just not… I’m just skipping…
Casey:
But again, alright, I’m still…
Jeff:
I’m skipping it.
Casey:
This is all just dumb. This is all dumb.
Jeff:
No it’s not dumb.
Casey:
And I’m telling you it’s dumb because, again, that’s how the internet conveys [inaudible 52:58] That process is an attempt to get, in my mind, the Larry Craig story, right, to the right people to make fun of it well.
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
That is how that process works.
Jeff:
No, you are making this way more majestic than it needs to be.
Casey:
No, it’s… And I don’t…
Jeff:
This is like saying we need the tabloid press to discover things like Hugh Grant blowing a, you know…
Casey:
Well, they don’t discover. They make shit up. But I do actually agree with that. If the tabloids… I like the fact that there’s Bat Boy because Bat Boy has created so much humor. The fact that they pretended there was a fucking Bat Boy was awesome. I would never want that to go away.
Jeff:
Right. Bat Boy, I’m totally… I’m 100% behind Bat Boy.
Casey:
That’s the tabloids. That’s what they do.
Jeff:
No, but… No, that’s not what they do. That’s, like, one tiny bit… One-tenth of 1%. . . 90% of what the tabloid does is try to catch the queen with her pants stuck around her ankles.
Casey:
That’s funny, too.
Jeff:
No, see that…
Casey:
Of course, that’s hilarious.
Jeff:
No, I’m not… That’s what I’m… I’m telling you, that’s what I’m going to work on.
Casey:
I don’t like any of this.
Jeff:
Yes, well…
Casey:
This is just… I don’t like any of this, at all.
Jeff:
I’m not going to… If someone wants to give us good links that aren’t simply McGruff the Crime Dog links, then I will read them. Otherwise, you can read them…
Casey:
Yeah, I will read them.
Jeff:
And I will not participate in that action.
Casey:
Because I’m not putting on airs…
Jeff:
It’s not airs. It’s like…
Casey:
It is airs.
Jeff:
It’s the shittiest, laziest form of humor. Like, they’re not even doing the funny stuff of, like, “Let’s drill down on this. Let’s go all the way with what if he was that,” it’s like, literally like, “No, no. No, don’t. No, get this, guys…” It’s like hypocrisy alone isn’t enough to be funny. Like, it’s lazy.
Casey:
Okay. These people… Like, in much the same way that you are criticizing me for saying that this is a method for convecting information around to get to the people who are going to make fun of it well, which I absolutely do believe it is… Like, this is what I think of Twitter. When Twitter does funny things, this is exactly what I think it is. It’s the shotgun approach to humor. Instead of going, “We will try to someone how curate and find the funniest people and make like “Saturday Night Live” which, by the way, fucking sucks every night, right? So curated comedy blows. We’ have seen where that goes and it sucks, right? Instead, what they do is they just go, “It’s shotgun. Anyone can reply. And then we will sort of bubble up the good ones. And that’s exactly what happens. You get these good re-Tweets. Like, someone found the right little quip, right, and it wasn’t because we had this good, bright structure for it and it works well… I think this is a positive improvement. Right?
Jeff:
I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all. I mean…
Casey:
Why do you?
Jeff:
I quit Twitter for the quips. So… That’s part of it. So… Yeah.
Casey:
You know, the problem is… This is the thing is that people just don’t have a sense of humor. They just don’t have… They’re not willing to let it go. They can’t let it go.
Jeff:
No. It’s not letting it go. It’s like…
Casey:
You can’t let it go.
Jeff:
I’ve spent the last 15 years of the internet laughing at these stories. And I’m like, “I am going to work on that.”
Casey:
Why can’t you just say thank you?
Jeff:
Now, I’m not gonna say thank you…
Casey:
Why can’t you just say, “Thank you, internet, for bringing me the laughter”?
Jeff:
Because…
Casey:
It’s about the children.
Jeff:
It is like I’ve eaten all that candy the last 15 years and I’m fat. And now I go, “Oh, fuck me. I gotta do something about that.” That’s where I’m at right now. I’m looking at myself, my sense of humor, and my sarcasm, and saying, “I don’t like that.” So I’m going to try to improve it.
Casey:
So you’re basically saying I need to get a new co-host for the show.
Jeff:
No, I’m not saying that at all.
Casey:
It’s going to be Casey & some other fucking person show.
Jeff:
Yeah. I think it should be Sean and Sean will just be really quiet.
Casey:
No, because until Sean…
Jeff:
Finishes the book…
Casey:
He finishes the next book…
Jeff:
He can’t be on the show. That’s true.
Casey:
Because I’ll just be depressed all the time because he’d be like, “Let me [ you the first part of the story. ]”
Jeff:
Every show would be him telling you the first half of something.
Casey:
You know what, he’s gonna get… Yeah, he’s probably gonna get back at me now by just sending me lots of first parts…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
He’ll be like, “Hey, check this out.” And then, I’ll read it and be like, “Oh, that’s awesome.” Then he’ll be like, “Psyche. No second part for you.”
Jeff:
That’s right.
Casey:
I probably deserve it now, having aired my grievance publicly. But at the same time, it was a good story, I wanted to read the rest of it. I think that’s a compliment. You should be complimented when someone…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
What do you want me to say? “Oh, it sucks. Don’t write anymore”?
Jeff:
Right. Stop. Whatever you do…
Casey:
You should be happy that someone was like, “Oh, that was cool.” Like, “I liked that,” or whatever.
Jeff:
That’s true. I agree.
Casey:
I don’t know. Maybe not. Some people don’t like praise. [ They feel uncomfortable with it. ] they don’t want to hear that it was good.
Jeff:
You feel it was the praise that was the problem?
Casey:
I don’t know.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Maybe if I’d been like, “You’ll never amount to anything,” then he would’ve written the second part to prove me wrong…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Like, I don’t know… Like…
Jeff:
And then he got some Oscar for screenwriting, he’d be like, “And this just goes to Casey.”
Casey:
Right? And if that’s… Well, and that’s the thing. If I was smart, if I had these psychological manipulative skills, I would’ve known Sean’s buttons just right and I would’ve done that. I would’ve psyched him out and he would’ve been like… He would spend the rest of his life making these stories and I would’ve read them on the very end, like on his deathbed. I’d be like, “Ha, ha. It was all a ruse to get you to write the story.”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And he’d be like…
Jeff:
“Curse this…”
Casey:
“I knew it all along…” No, it’d be a teary moment.
Jeff:
Oh.
Casey:
It’d be, like, this whole thing. See Sean, that’s how you finish the story.
Jeff:
Right. See, I think what it would be… Having known Sean for, you know, what now… 10-15 years…
Casey:
I’ve known him for a long time now.
Jeff:
Yeah, you’ve known him longer than I have.
Casey:
I’ve known him since…
Jeff:
I don’t think he has buttons.
Casey:
That could be.
Jeff:
I don’t think there’s a way to make Sean do something he doesn’t want to do.
Casey:
Well, I would not manipulate Sean in any way intentionally so…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
’Cos I don’t like manipulating people if I like them.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So I wouldn’t do that anyway. But I’m just saying it’s true that my lack of manipulative skills.. I would not have known what to do anyway…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
To get the second story because I don’t know. I mean, I feel like maybe there was a way to get it. I’m not sure. We’ll see.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
Maybe someday he will write it. And then, maybe someday he’ll release it and the whole world can read it which would be even cooler.
Jeff:
Yeah, that’s true.
Casey:
I thought it was pretty neat.
Jeff:
[ I’ve read it myself. Yeah. ]
Casey:
I think there’s a lot of people in this podcast that would enjoy it.
Jeff:
Yes, goddamn it. Alright, everybody… Since we’ve gone… We’re gonna finish exactly in an hour.
Casey:
Yeah, this is pretty… This is super precise.
Jeff:
Yeah. We are so on top of professional podcasting skills…
Casey:
Well, ladies and gentlemen, it was nice doing the Jeff & Casey Show with Jeff before he became fucked up in the head…
Jeff:
Do you remember when we did the really nice Jeff & Casey Show?
Casey:
Yeah. That’s what [inaudible 59:31] It’s gonna be me… I’m still Casey but you’re some [ milk toad ] dude who doesn’t say anything. It’s gonna be like, “Oh, I don’t think we should say anything about that because it’s not advanced humor enough. The humor’s not complex.”
Jeff:
No. It’s not…
Casey:
“Hey, everybody. So I’ve written a 200-page thing I’d like to read for you. And it has this little humor at the end. It really all builds together, though.”
Jeff:
Right. But wait…
Casey:
“It’s sophisticated. And it doesn’t…”
Jeff:
This is part one.
Casey:
Yeah. “Once upon a time, there was a bunch of really nice people…”
Jeff:
Stop it.
Casey:
“Who all of which nobody…”
Jeff:
It’s not about being nice. It’s not niceness that’s the problem.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
“There’s so much people…”
Jeff:
Stop it.
Casey:
“Who didn’t do anything hypocritical. There is nothing ironic about their situations. . .”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
“And they kind of lived for a long time. And then, a chicken crossed the road to get to the other side and it was funny. Here’s the video of the chicken because I still love animals. He’s riding the Segway across the street and that makes it an extra bonus.”
Jeff:
Stop it.
Casey:
Tune in next week when I’ll say something equally ridiculous.
Jeff:
Alright. Email us… Next episode is going to be viewer mail.
Casey:
Hopefully, the next thing we’ll do a blow-through of people who wrote us letters.
Jeff:
Yes. So we’re gonna do viewer mail… And you can send us mail.
Casey:
And we’ve got… The topics file is huge at this point.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So we will see if we can do a speed round to get through some of that.
Jeff:
And we do have some exciting things like… This is… We’re in podcast studios 2. We’ve gone back a podcast studio.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
But we were gonna go to 2 new podcast studios over the next couple months. . .
Casey:
Right. We’ve got all kinds of shit going down here.
Jeff:
So there’s some exciting stuff happening.
Casey:
News… Things are happening…
Jeff:
The reverb is gonna be different every time.
Casey:
All of these are fucked up. You’re never gonna hear this podcast because the audio’s gonna be wrong.
Jeff:
That’s right.
Casey:
We hope you have enjoyed listening to an hour of Jeff saying nonsense.
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
We will see you next week. If you would like to write in a topic to the ever-growing topics pile, you can write us at Podcast@JeffAndCaseyShow.com…
Jeff:
Podcast@JeffAndCaseyShow.com…
Casey:
As always, JeffAndCaseyShow.com has all the episodes. It’s got iTunes links if you want to subscribe. It’s got everything you need to get at least Casey and maybe still Jeff (depending on the situation).
Jeff:
Goddamn it. Alright, thanks, everybody.
Casey:
See you next week.
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casey muratori
the jeff and casey show - season 4 - episode 25
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