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The Jeff and Casey Show
Jeff and Casey Time
Casey Muratori
Seattle, WA
Happy Seder
Original air date: December 26th, 2009
Topics. Yom Kippur. Rabbis. Condoms. Judaism. Matrilineal descent. Entertainment. Hanukkah. Miracles. Religion. The Seder. 400lb squirrel. Larry David. Passover. Jesus Christ. Bris. 30-plus. Dredel. Jewish side-hug. Rough Riders.
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Transcript
Jeff:
Hey everybody, welcome to the Jeff and Casey Show.
Casey:
Hello, and welcome to the Jeff and Casey Show.
Jeff:
Day two
Casey:
Of the twelve days of Podcast. This is the day two, two turtledoves
Jeff:
two turtledoves
Casey:
which we are giving you, we don’t know how
Jeff:
Are we the turtledoves?
Casey:
I don’t really know, no, we are the two kings out of three, and Milistran is the third king.
Jeff:
And headed on the way
Casey:
Somehow we got two turtledoves in here; we don’t know where that comes from, we don’t know why that’s Christian, it just is.
Jeff:
It just is.
Casey:
It doesn’t matter anyway, because today’s topic is not Christian.
Jeff:
Yes
Casey:
today’s con… con…uh…today’s topic is not Christian, but Jewish.
Jeff:
Right. It’s about Hanukkah.
Casey:
And largely revolves around Jeff, but unlike completely bastion to Christian, which we did yesterday.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
This is not about how Jewish people are bachelor crazy, this is about how Jeff
Jeff:
Misinterpret
Casey:
Does not seem to understand some of the Intricacies, parenthesis, very broad basic pieces of information about Judaism.
Jeff:
No, yeah, OK, I did. It was not basic. And I blame you and our friend David.
Casey:
It was very basic, but OK.
Jeff:
Because I was mis…Yes, OK. So what happened was you were talking to a friend of ours. He was going to a Hanukkah party.
Casey:
Yes, he was.
Jeff:
And he was talking to us via text and stuff, and we were kindda teasing him about stuff, and he was like “what were you doing there and blah blah blah”, and
Casey:
He is Jewish, by the way
Jeff:
He is Jewish.
Casey:
There is not, it is not wired that he was going to a Hanukkah party. He is Jewish, so he should be going to a Hanukkah party, makes perfect sense.
Jeff:
Exactly. So you brought the, you challenged him, or he challenged you
Casey:
He kind of challenged me, because you know, he is like, he is Jewish, he is Jewish, and I am not. Right.
Jeff:
Of your Hanukkah knowledge or Jewish knowledge.
Casey:
Right, so he just assumed that I wouldn’t know anything about Judaism. But lo and behold, I’ve actually been to a Seder.
Jeff:
Is lo and behold like? Wait, the phrase “lo and behold” sounds very like
Casey:
It does sound a bit like “low and behold him”.
Jeff:
Low and behold him, yes
Casey:
I have been to temple; I have heard the turo read by some of their Matzah. So I have full on Jewish exposure by osmosis.
Jeff:
I have been to…Have you been to a Brit Milah?
Casey:
No, I have never been invited to one of those. Largely because none of the Jewish people that I know have had children, so there would never even been an occasion for me to be invited to one, I don’t know if it is customer invited, eh
Jeff:
I’ve been to one of those, it’s true, I do learn a little baseball hat from the Brit Milah.
Casey:
Excellent. A lot good did you, didn’t you?
Jeff:
Hmm, it did.
Casey:
You saw someone getting circumcised gonna still didn’t sink, you’d think it would sink by then. Anyway, so Jeff.
Jeff:
It keeps like, the soul escaping, or something, I don’t know. So you guys started, you were talking originally there was some Hanukkah talk, and then you guys in the middle of the conversation, you said I been to Passover
Casey:
We switched to Passover. Yeah, I’ve been to Passover, bitch, so step off.
Jeff:
I did not know what a Passover is. I’ve no idea.
Casey:
That was evident, surely you’re after.
Jeff:
So you started trading discussion about something called the Seder.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Right? Which is a dinner, apparently, where you eat terrible food, it sounds horrible.
Casey:
Right, yeah. It sounds horrible.
Jeff:
But the food represents everything.
Casey:
There are a number of things, there are traditional songs that you do with, there is a number of different ways that you can do the Seder, depending how strict you want to be, depending on how much fun you want it to be, like I mean, you know, different families, I feel like
Jeff:
Yeah, party Seder.
Casey:
Well, it’s the same with Christianity; different families treat the holiday differently.
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
Some treat it as extremely orthodoxy thing. No electricity gonna be used, they are not gonna used the same to the silver, all that shit. Other people were just like it’s fun to be with the family. Right? Whatever.
Jeff:
Right. Casey. I just want to say you know, every year, the Hanukkah cre..
Casey:
Hahaha
Jeff:
Bothers me more and more, where comes earlier and earlier, right?
Casey:
All of a sudden, it’s Yom Kippur, and I’m already hearing riddle song in the mall, it’s bull shit.
Jeff:
It’s just slide back every year, in any case. So you stop talking about the Seder, and you making jokes about all this, and how bad the food was like, oh, they represent the tears, and it’s like…
Casey:
Yeah, right. I’m done. I know the matrilineal descent. I’ve had dinner with rabbis plenty of times; I’m upon it, like we are good.
Jeff:
And you go back and forth, and you actually do do some discussion about the Hanukkah oil which is lasted seven days instead of one.
Casey:
Which is really confusing, and as he pointed out rightfully, so I think, it’s unclear like Hanukkah in general, it’s unclear if it really was a miracle, like basically where we were at Hanukkah is like…
Jeff:
It’s might just has some good oil
Casey:
Yeah, a burning lamp like burn longer, it’s basically where we are at, lamp, you know something you can…
Jeff:
Candle, you know the candle was longer, right.
Casey:
Oil, oil based flame, right. It’s just like, maybe they just didn’t do a really accurate of assessment of how much oil they had to begin with. It’s just kept, you know, it kept going for as long as it probably it should have, right? And one day’s worth of oil burning is not a lot of oil, really at the end of the day.
Jeff:
In terms of miracles, this is not a high-end miracle.
Casey:
This is not a high-end miracle.
Jeff:
There is no people climbing down the chimneys, they are just oil.
Casey:
To be fair, OK, to be fair, I think a lot of Jewish people out there, and I kindda polinguish them out there, I think a lot Jewish people out there more orthodox probably think Hanukkah is bush shit holiday anyway, right? That’s not their big Birth. It’s not one of their biggest birth.
Jeff:
It’s not their main holiday.
Casey:
They’re just like, this is something people do around Christmas so they can have a celebration, but the real Jewish holiday is around different days anyway, like the Passover, which is more important. So they should probably like I don’t give a shit about the candle. I have no idea. Point being we had this discussion.
Jeff:
So you guys were having this conversation. I was not participating, other than pointing out the food sounds terrible, the miracles was not all that great, I was being…
Casey:
Right, we were really helping out, yeah.
Jeff:
Joking, duh, duh, anyway, this information entered my brain.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And I go to a celebration, and at that celebration, there were several Jewish people.
Casey:
And now if I could give the list that at home, sort of a picture of what happens when an email thread between two people who were saying bunch of factual information, passes though Jeff’s
Jeff:
No
Casey:
Quote and quote, information filter
Jeff:
No, stop it. No.
Casey:
I want you to picture
Jeff:
My information super highway is awesome.
Casey:
Right, I want you to picture something kind of like pouring grape nuts into a sieve and shaking it around, it’s like some of them out of the bottom and
Jeff:
No. Stop it. This is not my fault, because you guys, stop it, you
Casey:
Some of them stay in, but there is no real wine resin, oh what’s happening there? Shawn: All you really got do is a match of 400lb squirrel.
Casey:
Yeah, for 400lb squirrel from we back in Season 1 as Shawn pointed out, that where we were at
Jeff:
Stop it.
Casey:
So it goes in there, and God knows what happens, so that’s where we are at
Jeff:
All I’m saying you and David fucked me, because
Casey:
What, why, that what happened, yeah.
Jeff:
You guys mixed up the conversation, mixing Passover and Hanukkah together; into some sort of super holiday where the Jews like really go to town. It’s all in my head, so I go there, I happened to know that a lot of people at this party happened to be Jewish.
Casey:
So you think
Jeff:
I hanging out with them a lot before, they are awesome.
Casey:
I’m set. I know all this shit now, from David and Casey, I’m gonna own this party, right?
Jeff:
Yes. Exactly.
Casey:
I’m gonna hit on all that hot Jewish ladies, they are gonna love me.
Jeff:
I go in and there was this friend of mine there, and I go up to her, and I say” Hi, happy Hanukkah”.
Casey:
OK. Good good so far.
Jeff:
You know, just like, right, so I said “Did you have you Seder?” And she is like ”What are you talking about? ”
Casey:
Nice, so your two sevenths is into it, and you are already fuck it up.
Jeff:
Yeah, I did. Right. So I’m like “Well, you have your Seder with all the shity food”, and she was like
Casey:
Well, that even was if correct would fucked up, that not OK.
Jeff:
Well, I am starting teasing, no, no, we, I can tease.
Casey:
We have a poor heard eye, yeah, ok, all right.
Jeff:
I can tease, I tease, I tease, anyway, she is like “No, the Seder is on Passover.” I’m like “What’s Passover?”
Casey:
Wow, Jesus Christ.
Jeff:
I didn’t even know what it is.
Casey:
Oh, OK.
Jeff:
Yeah, no, not Jesus Christ, but sort of that way.
Casey:
Right exactly, pretty much.
Jeff:
Alright. (cough). Anyway, so I’m like I’ve been over my head.
Casey:
Yeah, should, I’m fucked.
Jeff:
I’m like wait, what’s going on. And another lady come over and she is going “Hi, I’m Jewish”, and I go “Did you, well like, do you have Seder?”
Casey:
So you still think the problem is her?
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
You still think the person being Jewish her whole life is mistaken…
Jeff:
I’m arguing, I’m going to convince her, yes
Casey:
About whether or not she had Seder, whereas you have run an email thread between one Jewish person and one non-Jewish person.
Jeff:
I’m like “Are you sure?”
Casey:
But you don’t even understand is probably dead fucking on in your world view.
Jeff:
Yes, exactly
Casey:
That’s awesome, OK.
Jeff:
So I’m like…
Casey:
We are in great shape.
Jeff:
Wait, right, so I’m like “Hey, do you have your Seder on your Passover or Hanukkah?” And she is like “Passover.” And I’m like “What the fuck is Passover?”
Casey:
Hahaha. (Clapping)
Jeff:
And one of them goes “It’s like Easter.”
Casey:
OK.
Jeff:
And I guess it’s around Easter, I guess, there is stuff about it, good Friday, I don’t know either.
Casey:
I don’t, I’m sorry, I don’t remember exactly, I think you’re correct, I think it is.
Jeff:
So all I’m do, I’m trading water at this one, right? I’m just like, I’ve no where to go.
Casey:
You are so Not getting laid after this Hanukkah party, but fine.
Jeff:
No, no, these are all my old friends, that they are married and stuff, it’s fine.
Casey:
All right, fine, I’m just saying thirty-plus is written in your real house.
Jeff:
Uhm,, yeah, no. Anyway, it was a disaster, I like had to make an excuse, I had to say that “No, I think he had a say, they must not know what they are doing”, I blamed you.
Casey:
Are you fucking kidding me?
Jeff:
I blamed David.
Casey:
You still didn’t think it was right.
Jeff:
No, I said, I blamed on you. I said, no, I have it wrong, apparently, because there’s all these people jumping in and like whatever.
Casey:
Apparently. Yeah, well done.
Jeff:
Wow, it was a disaster. It was a disaster.
Casey:
Great, great.
Jeff:
I will say one funny thing is like, they were like “Hi, what’re you doing” and we were working on this animated show or whatever, and I think I told you this line before, as where they are like, these two, these two old guys that I’m good friends with, who have just literally like a movie dialect for Jewish person.
Casey:
Right
Jeff:
It’s like crazy. And they are like “Marty, you didn’t tell me he did a show, you sure this boy is not a Jewish, Marty?” And just was so over the top.
Casey:
Hahaha, that’s fantastic.
Jeff:
Anyway, I totally blew it.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So yeah that’s no good.
Casey:
Your Jewish credit was basically shot. Jeff My Jewish credit was shot, yeah.
Casey:
It’s fucking cratered.
Jeff:
Yeah, it’s cratered. No Jewish side-hug, at all.
Casey:
No, you’re not getting Jewish side-hug.
Jeff:
There is no Jewish, hey, no, in between part, Shawn had mentioned yesterday we talked about the Rough Riders, and he is like, “I think”, and we don’t know how he knew this, but he says “I think the Rough Riders is a condom brand”, and I
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Went and looked it up, and sure up, not only is it a condom brand, it’s like, it’s for like the people that are like a little out there, you know you have your condom.
Casey:
What you mean by that?
Jeff:
Well, one of them studied
Casey:
Oh, yeah, all right.
Jeff:
One of them had some chemical that heats up, well we don’t need heat down there
Casey:
I would think it’s already heated, but yeah.
Jeff:
No, they didn’t.
Casey:
But maybe want some extra warm, like go to a hot tub.
Jeff:
No, these were some scary one, so again their lack of awareness of the general world around them has led them to choose a terrible name for their goods.
Casey:
Here is actually a question for you
Jeff:
Unless they actually know what it is and they are just getting right in there with the Christian you know groupies.
Casey:
Here is the question for you, right?
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Why is it that Jewish people seem to have the good sense of to not to start a fucking Jewish rapper end, whereas the Christian are just always embarrassing themselves this way. Like what is, is it just because Judaism is older, so they have more self-respect, and Christian is just like fuck it, we are going for it.
Jeff:
Well, I don’t know. It’s a good question. It’s a good question. I mean, you know, Jewish people wrote most of the Christmas songs that we all sing, like all the classics that we know we’re written for those cartoons that were mostly generated by Jewish folks.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And so who knows, the question of why Jewish people are such, are so commonly in entertainment and such, is an open question, that it
Casey:
Well, it’s probably not an open question; it’s probably a closed question. It’s probably because Jewish people seem to understand the fact that entertainment is entertainment, and their religion is their religion.
Jeff:
Very true.
Casey:
Where Christian people apparently can’t keep the two separate.
Jeff:
I would image that Christian side-hug, the Rough Riders are not dredel any Jewish you know Hanukkah songs.
Casey:
Presumably not.
Jeff:
I assume not. Whereas like Jewish group might actually go, you know what, let’s just do a Christmas, because everybody is happy at Christmas, and I like to say Merry Christmas to people.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
I don’t usually say Happy Holidays, I tried to remember, but I forget usually.
Casey:
Right, yes.
Jeff:
So yes, maybe it is just the fact that like, hey they just focus on the entertainment portion of the holiday, and maybe that’s it.
Casey:
Yes. I think so, I think that’s highly likely.
Jeff:
I don’t know, I… I… I…Since I blew my Jewish credit.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And since pretty much all the entertainers I like the most are Jewish, I’m screwed, like I’ll never gonna be able to go up to Larry David, and say “Hey, let’s have a Jewish fist-bomb”
Casey:
Right, because he heard this show, he’s like, yeah, he’ like
Jeff:
He is gonna hear this story and said “you said Seder is on Hanukkah, and then you argued with the Jewish people”.
Casey:
To be fair, I can totally see something like that happen to Larry David, right? So it’s like he might like “You know what, I am Jewish, but I have a huge problem with rambling where everything goes as well, and I don’t understand why people get so mad at me about it”, maybe you’ll be buddies.
Jeff:
Possibly.
Casey:
I doubt the fact that he could have possibly mistaken Hanukkah and Passover, that does seem a little unlikely, even for Larry David.
Jeff:
I don’t know.
Casey:
But that’s said, who knows.
Jeff:
Still, it’s possible. Alright tomorrow I actually, maybe tomorrow, may the next day, I will discuss this story that I wish I was more like Larry David on the show, not Larry David in person,
Casey:
I see.
Jeff:
But that aspect of personality just doesn’t a shit, because I could’ve used his super power. We’ll talk about that in couple of days.
Casey:
I see, all right, coming up on a future day of Christmas, we hope you’ve enjoyed the second day of Podcast.
Jeff:
The second day of Podcast, the turtle-dove day, and come back tomorrow.
Casey:
The turtle-dove day. Come back tomorrow for your three Frenchens.
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casey muratori
the jeff and casey show - season 2 - episode 28
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