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The Technician
No Imperfections Noted
The Jeff and Casey Show
Jeff and Casey Time
Casey Muratori
Seattle, WA
A Good Medicine to Have
"If you have sex with a horse, and it's the horse that gets the infection, it is time to start practicing better hygiene."
Original air date: August 9th, 2009
Topics. The Roberts Rule. G.I. Joe. Police. Sex. Video vault. Horse sex. Cinematography. Buggery. Hickies. South Carolina. Yankee lawyers. Repeat offenders. Pandering.
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Transcript
Jeff:
Hey everybody. Welcome to the Jeff and Casey Show.
Casey:
Hello. Welcome to the Jeff and Casey show.
Jeff:
Recording at Podcast Studios on a hot Saturday.
Casey:
Uh, you know Jeff, we have a classic topic to discuss today. I’m very happy to say.
Jeff:
Classic. Okay.
Casey:
Classic. And so here’s the thing. . .
Jeff:
Mm-hmm.
Casey:
You know, I always had hoped, you know, I know I think maybe from when I was kind of a little kid.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Cuz I always wanted to do work on. . .I like artisanal work. Like I like making things. . .
Jeff:
All right.
Casey:
. . .for other people. . .
Jeff:
All right.
Casey:
. . .if I can.
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
And I had always hoped.
Jeff:
[indiscernible] means mason.
Casey:
That’s right, it does. . .
Jeff:
You are, are build. . .
Casey:
. . .mean someone who builds walls.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Yes. Yes.
Jeff:
Right. You make things.
Casey:
Yes. A bricklayer basically.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Yes. Um, and you know. . .
Jeff:
Not that kind of brick but yeah.
Casey:
No, no, no. Yeah. Uh, so I had always hoped that, you know, someday that if I was going to do something that a lot of people would see and. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
. . .enjoy. Then it might be, let’s say have some integrity.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Not so cuz here we are on the Jeff and Casey show. . .
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
. . .which is probably the thing that the most number of people have listened to certainly that I’ve ever done.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And, uh, our highest ranking episodes are invariably thing about like sex robots and stuff like this.
Jeff:
Yep. The sex robot. The. . .
Casey:
And here we are.
Jeff:
. . .the auto blow.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Uh, linked to all over the innerweb.
Casey:
Yep.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
This, this is my life, yes.
Jeff:
Tubes [indiscernible].
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And you know, I will absolutely make fun of Michael Bay, right? I’m like these movies are shit.
Jeff:
And yet we will sue. . .
Casey:
Yet that is what we are.
Jeff:
Right. Yes.
Casey:
We’re just like people wanna hear about sex toys, we talk about them on the air.
Jeff:
Exactly.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
We have no problem with that.
Casey:
That is my life.
Jeff:
And it’s important that it’s us that [indiscernible], considering that neither of us are in a relationship.
Casey:
This is a good point.
Jeff:
We don’t know what we’re talking about.
Casey:
Nope.
Jeff:
That’s what I think people like is. . .
Casey:
Yep.
Jeff:
. . .our complete. . .
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
. . .naiveté in these regard.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
You don’t know what the fuck is going on. There’s a general understanding that people fuck but that’s just like, I’m not even sure what that is but. . .
Casey:
Yep. Yep.
Jeff:
. . .like they do things at night that they like. . .
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
. . .that I’m not doing.
Casey:
Here’s the other thing though. This is the part. . .
Jeff:
They’re having a good time.
Casey:
. . .this is the part that’s actually more embarrassing than that though if you think about it.
Jeff:
All right.
Casey:
Right. Is given that situation we should be experts on sex toys. We should have like the blow up dolls and the crazy blow job machine.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
We don’t even have that.
Jeff:
That’s probably true.
Casey:
We haven’t even gotten it under control for us to satisfy our own selves.
Jeff:
Right. That’s because. . .
Casey:
That is how bad at this we are.
Jeff:
. . .we are experts at self rejection, right?
Casey:
There you go.
Jeff:
But not only. . .
Casey:
That’s the key right there.
Jeff:
Like. . .
Casey:
That’s it.
Jeff:
. . .yeah, it’s not only do we get rejected. . .
Casey:
There you go.
Jeff:
. . .by others. . .
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
. . .we reject ourselves. . .
Casey:
That’s right.
Jeff:
. . .and then we just. We have a vague understanding what’s going on.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
But this lets us turn like a clinical eye to these things as it were.
Casey:
Yeah. You know what, sweetheart? You don’t not like me nearly as much as I don’t not like me. Or I, okay, I couldn’t quite construct that sentence properly.
Jeff:
I know what you’re getting at.
Casey:
But if that’s what you’re saying. I reject me much harder than you reject me.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Um, that said, now that we have stated. . .
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
. . . where we’re at in our life. . .
Jeff:
Yes. Our minds. Yes. Exactly.
Casey:
. . .I was going to go real straight into this headline. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
. . .which is. . .
Jeff:
Which came from, your mother. Okay. Your mother brought this one up.
Casey:
Yeah, just, let’s just tie it all off. . .
Jeff:
Let’s tie it all. . .
Casey:
. . .in where life is.
Jeff:
. . .to a, let’s tie this in.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
We got sex links, not from like hot listeners.
Casey:
That’s right. Right. No.
Jeff:
We got one from your mom.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Okay. So continue. Right.
Casey:
That’s, there we go.
Jeff:
Yeah. Just in case people. . .
Casey:
There we go.
Jeff:
. . .it, can we get more pathetic in the Jeff and Casey?
Casey:
No.
Jeff:
I don’t think so.
Casey:
I don’t think it’s possible.
Jeff:
I really don’t think it’s possible.
Casey:
I don’t think it’s possible.
Jeff:
Yep. All right. Go, let, let’s, let’s, let’s just do it.
Casey:
So going straight into it. . .
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Rodel Verene: South Carolina charged with having sex with horse.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Okay, now wait.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Listeners, I know what you’re thinking.
Jeff:
We’ve covered this before.
Casey:
We’ve covered this before. Jeff and Casey, why would you bother bringing a horse fucker to our attention when that is so passé.
Jeff:
Right. It’s so 2008, right?
Casey:
It is so 2008. Am I listening to the season one archive?
Jeff:
Yeah. Right.
Casey:
What’s going on here?
Jeff:
Right. What’s going on?
Casey:
There is a twist. So let’s just, let’s just go with it. Give us a little rope here if you will.
Jeff:
And we will certainly hang ourselves with it.
Casey:
Yes. We will auto-erotically hang ourselves with it, yes. A South Carolina man was charged with having sex with a horse after the animal’s owner caught the act on video tape, then staked out the stable and caught him at shotgun point authorities say Wednesday.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Now that’s, so to be fair, we were being very self-deprecating there before. I can at least say I have never been caught on video tape having sex with an animal of any kind.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Nor have I then subsequently been held at gunpoint. . .
Jeff:
Right. Exactly.
Casey:
. . .with that understanding in mind.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I feel a little bit better about myself now thanks to Rodel Verene actually.
Jeff:
Well what I imagined in that video tape is like Paris Hilton style, green alien eyes. Here comes the dude, coming in, probably talking on his cell phone.
Casey:
On his cell phone. I was gonna say you think he, you think the horse answered his cell phone?
Jeff:
He’s like hold on.
Casey:
No, Rodel’s into it.
Jeff:
Oh, okay.
Casey:
The horse probably answered the cell phone.
Jeff:
The horse is like. . .
Casey:
The horse is like oh fucking get it over with.
Jeff:
Hold on.
Casey:
Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
Hold on. This is my friend.
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. Here’s the twist. But this wasn’t the first time Rodel Verene has been charged with buggery. He pleaded. . .
Jeff:
Okay. Wait a sec, so this is not the first time. Now buggery means, I assume, sex with an animal?
Casey:
You know what? I have no idea.
Jeff:
I didn’t even know that was an American word.
Casey:
Bestiality I thought was the word.
Jeff:
I thought, I thought buggery was like that’s something they say in Britain and I don’t understand.
Casey:
Well, okay, it says South Carolina man so I’m imagining that there’s a judge there that ‘s like Rodel Verene how plead you to the charge of buggery?
Jeff:
Right. Exactly.
Casey:
It’s like your honor and he’s like you know buggery. Doin’ a horse up the ass, son. Did you do it or didn’t you?
Jeff:
Right Exactly.
Casey:
Everyone’s done it at one point Rodel. It’s nothin’ to be embarrassed about. We got to get this hearin’ over with.
Jeff:
Right. Okay.
Casey:
Okay. So let’s get to the important part. Let’s get to the twist.
Jeff:
All right.
Casey:
The important part of the story. But this wasn’t the first time Rodel Verene has been charged with buggery. He pleaded guilty last year to having sex with the same horse after owner Barbara Kinnley found him in the same stable and was sentenced to probation and placed on the state’s sex offender list.
Jeff:
Okay. A whole bunch of things here.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Okay. Number one, I don’t think that’s as bad when you read that to me. When I say like this is the first time. . .
Casey:
That makes him a sympathetic character to you. That makes him a sympathetic character.
Jeff:
More sympathetic because this horse is special to him.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
This is not like he’s not going around fucking the horses all over South Carolina.
Casey:
That’s right. That’s right.
Jeff:
Right. He has a bond, right?
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
It’s probably their one year anniversary, right? And it’s the same stable. . .
Casey:
Yep.
Jeff:
He brought the same bouquet of hay to her, right. And he showed up and he, one thing led to another.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
He probably wasn’t even going there to fuck. He went there just to like relive. . .
Casey:
All right, I see what you’re saying.
Jeff:
. . .the moment and sometimes exes, when they get together, old passions reignite.
Casey:
Rekindle. Rekindle. I see.
Jeff:
Exactly.
Casey:
Jeff, that is absolutely fucking ridiculous and no, absolutely not. You know why? I’m going to use your tactic back on you.
Jeff:
Uh-oh.
Casey:
Right? Which is always replace the thing getting fucked with retarded person and if it makes you feel uncomfortable there’s a problem. So basically what you’re saying is as long as your keeping it to one inappropriate thing. . .
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
. . .it’s okay?
Jeff:
Okay. No, well I say no. You’re right, if you always do the replacement.
Casey:
Yes, that’s the Jeff, that’s the Jeff metric.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
That is what you said.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And then you know what? That’s a pretty awesome metric because it manages to somehow both make you seem like you’re more compassionate about these sorts of sex crimes. Like you’re kind of seeing it as a bad thing that needs to be punished and so on and that you’re trying to think in terms of the victim. At the same time you are completely offending retarded people.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
Exactly.
Casey:
It’s like it’s the knife, you’re giving us the knife that cuts both ways, if you will.
Jeff:
Right. The blade, the handle has fallen off.
Casey:
Yes. The handle has fallen off.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
You’re like, you know what? You know it kind of reminds me, it’s like it’s almost like you’re a Oliver Wendell Holmes or somebody. Like you’re up on the Supreme Court and you’ve established this precedent. . .
Jeff:
Precedent, right. The ri-, I see.
Casey:
. . .of like the retarded substitution rule. The Robert’s rule if you will. Right? Where now lower courts, some attorney. . .
Jeff:
Use references.
Casey:
. . .has to get up and go you know pursuant to, I don’t even want to, uh, Verene vs. one of those crazy horse names like Winford Downs on the Galley or something like that you know. Whatever the long horse name is, like running in October or something like that, right?
Jeff:
The horse wouldn’t be the thing that would be listed. It would have to be like something stables. It would be awesome. . .
Casey:
It’s a criminal crime so it’s actually like State of South Carolina vs. Rodel Verene, or whatever, right?
Jeff:
They usually don’t list the name of the sex crime victim so it probably would be just like. . .
Casey:
That’s true. Yeah. Yeah.
Jeff:
Jane, uh, Churchill Downs.
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Absolutely. Absolutely. Kentucky Jane or something.
Jeff:
All right. Yeah. Kentucky Jane. Right.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And Churchill Joe.
Casey:
Well, you know, if we knew more about the charge of buggery we would also know if this was anal sex with a male horse or sex with a female horse. We don’t actually know.
Jeff:
Or, or and the one that was here in Washington that uh, you know, five years ago. . .
Casey:
Yes. That’s right.
Jeff:
. . .was there’s the third where you get fucked by the horse, which apparently is the more common one.
Casey:
Uh, that would kill you, wouldn’t it?
Jeff:
That, it did kill him, remember?
Casey:
Oh that’s right. Yes it did.
Jeff:
It did kill him.
Casey:
Okay yes. Yes.
Jeff:
Apparently there is ways to prevent that from killing you but it did kill the man, right.
Casey:
Yes. Okay, well.
Jeff:
And that was right here in, right here in sunny Washington.
Casey:
Sunny Washington. That’s right.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Yee-haw.
Casey:
Yeah. Well, you have to remember that you know that Washington, outside of Seattle, is very. . .
Jeff:
Ten minutes. . .
Casey:
. . .interesting. Yes, to say the least.
Jeff:
. . .ten minutes from King County.
Casey:
Umm, yeah.
Jeff:
The banjos start, right?
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Just out of loud speakers.
Casey:
Yes. Yes.
Jeff:
Like it gets fucked up in Washington quick.
Casey:
Well, I don’t want to spiral this story. . .
Jeff:
You don’t want to beat a dead horse?
Casey:
. . .downward into worse. I don’t want to be, yeah.
Jeff:
A fucked horse. Let’s not beat the fucked horse.
Casey:
But just reading the next paragraph.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Kinnley, now this is the owner of the horse, said she noticed several weeks ago her 21 year old horse sugar. . .
Jeff:
They can live to be 20? Okay, well, that’s news to me.
Casey:
. . .great name for a, uh, a horse that you’re coming around to.
Jeff:
Right. Right. It’s like a stripper name.
Casey:
Sugar you sure got a perdy mouth. Yeah.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Nay. Yeah. Uh, 20 year old horse, Sugar, was acting strange and getting infections again.
Jeff:
Get. . .
Casey:
Getting infections again.
Jeff:
That somehow means what’s his name? What’s this guy’s name?
Casey:
His name is Rodel Verene.
Jeff:
Rodel somehow has more germs than a horse.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Yeah. Yeah.
Jeff:
That’s true. He is GI Joe. He’s the last guy on the team. They never pick him for missions and everything and it’s given him a serious complex.
Casey:
Until, until there’s like some kind of. . .
Jeff:
Until Cobra. . .
Casey:
There’s a cobra on horseback, like a mounted cobra and he’s like all of our horses don’t seem ready for battle. And Rodel Verene sittin’ there goin’ like all right. Yeah.
Jeff:
Right. All of our horses have infections, right?
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Cobra wants to mount. . .
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
. . .it’s invasion on hoof and they can’t due to infection.
Casey:
Now here’s the thing. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
. . .if you have sex with a horse and it’s the horse that gets the infection. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
. . .it is time to start practicing better hygiene.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
That’s my, that’s my opinion, okay?
Jeff:
Like scientifically it would probably be interesting to get Rodel and Paris Hilton together just to see what crazy super bug the two. . .
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
When you put two, it’s like an immovable object.
Casey:
It means an unstoppable force.
Jeff:
Unstoppable force. You put those two together. You have no idea what’s coming. . .
Casey:
Right, it’s like a [indiscernible] reaction.
Jeff:
It’s like twelve moneys.
Casey:
It just like burns right through the ground.
Jeff:
The next. . .
Casey:
Yes. Yeah.
Jeff:
The next month people are going like yeah, we know.
Casey:
Okay. So you’re basically saying that like the white plague is coming as soon as these two have sex with each other.
Jeff:
Exactly, yeah. We need to keep these two apart.
Casey:
There will be a bacteria that can literally eat through concrete.
Jeff:
Right. Right.
Casey:
Okay. So anyway, in addition to these infections. . .
Jeff:
Gonorrhea that carries a gun is. . .
Casey:
Yes, exactly. Exactly. Uh, it’s the singularity. It’s like gonorrhea is thinking for itself. She noticed things in the barn had been moved around. Dirt piled up and bales of hay stacked near the horses stall at her Lazy B Stables in Longs, about 20 miles northeast of Myrtle Beach.
Jeff:
Well he wanted to get comfortable. He had to make a little pillow, right? For himself.
Casey:
Well, I mean, as far as I can tell, if you’re attempting to mount a horse, horses are pretty high up. I’m not sure how you do that. So you probably have to have some kind of a good sort of mount.
Jeff:
Circ de Solei on that.
Casey:
Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
That’s act one. He had that fully under control.
Casey:
Well, I think freshman years of the circus school out there, you, you can have sex with a horse probably at least once or twice. That’s part of the whole thing. Of course, the horse is like half white and half black and has some crazy triangular shit sticking out of it but. . .
Jeff:
Yeah. And you know it’s being held up by a. . .
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. And there’s like some fat lady singing really loud. . .
Jeff:
It’s awesome.
Casey:
. . .during the whole thing. Now police kept telling me that it couldn’t be the same guy, Kinnley said Wednesday. I couldn’t believe that there were two guys going around doing this to the same horse.
Jeff:
Right. So that police force in South Carolina, wow. What does it take for them?
Casey:
That is impressive.
Jeff:
Like if they had a serial killer there, that did like, ripped off the head, shoved it up the ass, put the feet back on to the neck, and that happened twice. . .
Casey:
Copycat crime.
Jeff:
. . .what a coincidence.
Casey:
It’s a copycat crime.
Jeff:
It’s just like, can you imagine the odds?
Casey:
Yeah. Well, you know, in my mind it seems like the police obviously have a horse fucker profiling division who can. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Like normally I would hope that when the police show up. . .
Jeff:
You need your specialist down here and they’re like again? Cuz it only happens in South Carolina and Seattle apparently.
Casey:
Well, this is what I’m saying. It’s like the police shouldn’t have had an opinion on that. Like when the police show up to a horse sodomy incident, the last thing I want them to do is be like really experienced at that. Like how many of these cases have you been out on? Jesus Christ. Right? That’s no good.
Jeff:
You’d rather they be shocked. . .
Casey:
I want them to be like look ma’am I don’t know the first fucking thing about catching someone who has sex with a horse. All right? See what you can do with Neosporin.
Jeff:
You don’t want them to go, you know what. . .
Casey:
Sit out back with a shotgun. I don’t know.
Jeff:
We’ll get Barney out here. He’s seen this before.
Casey:
Right. Yeah, exactly. And you know what? You don’t want them to be. . .
Jeff:
The day before he retires. . .
Casey:
Exactly. Yeah.
Jeff:
You know. And then like you know this will be his last big crime and he’ll partner with like a rookie probably and they have to solve this ring.
Casey:
Yeah, and he’s like. . .
Jeff:
There’s an obvious suspect.
Casey:
I’ve seen this before.
Jeff:
I’ve seen it before. Exactly.
Casey:
2003. Washington. I’ll never forget it. That’s why I transferred to South Carolina in the first place.
Jeff:
There are some things you can’t. . .
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. And then he like leans down and like you know puts a finger in something and licks it and . . .
Jeff:
Oh, no. Stop it.
Casey:
I knew it. Horse semen.
Jeff:
Stop it.
Casey:
You know what I mean?
Jeff:
No. Ugh! Anyway, uh, so. . .
Casey:
Do they have a crime lab? A horse crime lab? You think they’ve got. . .
Jeff:
A database? Something?
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah.
Jeff:
Dust this off for hoof prints. All right?
Casey:
It’s like no Johnnie, we’re looking for a horse with only one left shoe. It’s like how’d you know that, boss? Oh God. That is so bad.
Jeff:
Yeah, it’s, it’s just. . .
Casey:
I don’t want to know.
Jeff:
The other thing that I like, so this poor bastard. . .
Casey:
CSI South Carolina.
Jeff:
Yeah, exactly.
Casey:
It’s all horse sex cases.
Jeff:
That’s why you’ve never seen cops in South Carolina. They can’t show shit. You know what? Put all this footage in a vault. Like in 100 years, this will be on Saturday morning cartoon, but right now, the American public is not ready for this shit.
Casey:
That’s right. Yeah.
Jeff:
Lock it away. Lock it up with Walt Disney.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
The other thing about that whole awesomeness is that he got caught and pled guilty. Which that had to be an awesome plea. In any case, that forced him to register as a sex offender.
Casey:
Yeah. Yes.
Jeff:
So sex offender just means anything out of the ordinary? You’re a sex offender? Like, I just didn’t, it seems like sex offender would have a definition somewhere.
Casey:
Well, no, I mean. . .
Jeff:
I wouldn’t have imagined all the possibilities that. . .
Casey:
I’m assuming that they’ve got something in South Carolina. Since the police force has a profiling unit I’m imagining they have something like Amber Alert, only it’s called like wild Dutchmen alert or whatever. Like whatever the horse was, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
That eventually. . .
Jeff:
The first horse.
Casey:
. . .to have some kind of gruesome crime from a repeat offender for a bestiality repeat offender on the same horse, which apparently happens now which we did not know previously.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
They probably have to register as a sex offender, right?
Jeff:
I see. Okay. So that’s how they deal with that? Okay.
Casey:
And so like I’m imagining that they probably add this to equestrian so it’s like part of the route when you jump over the fence and then turn around, there’s like four dudes who are going to try to get with your horse and you’ve got to kind of go around. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
. . .them, right? It’s like part of the whole sport now.f
Jeff:
So you think the owner of the horse, like when he was setting up the camera, and he put it up on a tripod and stuff, did he look for like a place to just catch the guy or did he try to find the best cinematic angle. Like was he sitting there like, you know, going if I take it from this angle I can’t really see the horses face. . .
Casey:
Yeah, he’s like hoof’s in the way. They’re probably going to be. . .
Jeff:
. . .I can’t and I see this. You know, when I caught him last time I got, I’d like to have it kind of from a point of view, the horse’s point of view. . .
Casey:
Yeah, and he’s like you know I’m kind of into kicking and this isn’t going to get the kicking cuz this perspective. I want a side shot but that doesn’t really accentuate the ass the way I was hoping for so. . .
Jeff:
This poor bastard.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
As bad as your life is, when they published you name and photograph the first time. The second time his picture, a lot of these pictures you see are the pre-arrest pictures where I’ve talked about you know this guy just looks like he’s sad.
Casey:
He looks sad. He looks, he does look really sad.
Jeff:
And it probably is. I mean he obviously has a very serious problem.
Casey:
And he has a very serious solution to that problem.
Jeff:
He’s out of control with his actions, right?
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Like, I mean, you give him the first horse. You’re like look, yeah, between friends. . ..
Casey:
What do you mean? Give him the first horse?
Jeff:
You know what? Probation. You’re picking up litter on the side of. . .
Casey:
Yep.
Jeff:
The second time, you know what? Fooled me once, shame on you. Fooled me twice, shame on Rachel Alexander, right.
Casey:
Shame on the horse I guess at that point.
Jeff:
Oh man.
Casey:
What can I say? That’s the article.
Jeff:
There’s nothing to say. Thanks mom.
Casey:
Yeah, that’s what we should say. Thanks mom for sending in this link.
Jeff:
That story takes something out of you.
Casey:
Let me, let me close it up here for you by reading the final paragraph. I’ll close it up for you.
Jeff:
All right.
Casey:
Let’s just bring it to a nice little coda if you will. Actually that’s the wrong term.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Verene, who is 50. Now, if I may, right? If I’m still able to fuck horses when I’m 50, you know, I’m pretty happy about that. Good for you, right? He’s not letting his age get in the way.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
All right. When I’m 50 I’m probably not going to have sex with anything. I’m probably going to be too tired to masturbate when I’m 50 and he’s out there fucking a horse.
Jeff:
Yep. Do you think he took like 20 Viagra’s to. . .
Casey:
You’ve got to rearrange the hay, okay? You’ve got to pile up dirt. You’ve got to dodge a guy with a shotgun and you got to look on film. Look good on film.
Jeff:
Yep . That is, that is a man with a plan.
Casey:
Apparently one thing you don’t have to do is wash your saddles beforehand, Mr. Infection Spreading Disease Ridden Penis over here. But that said. . .
Jeff:
50 years old.
Casey:
. . .he is giving it his all. Anyway, Verene, 50, was first charged with trespassing but police added a buggery charge after watching the surveillance tape.
Jeff:
Oh my God.
Casey:
He faces up to five years if convicted.
Jeff:
You know what? Probably what it was is that they put on the video tape and they’re like let’s go, oh, oh. And then they fast forward so then it’s just like. He’s like uh, uh, uh, come on. Come on. Keep going and it takes way longer than. . .
Casey:
And then they’re like, wait, wait, stop. Play it right there. Did he just answer his cell phone? That’s the Paris Hilton part right there.
Jeff:
Going in for round two. Oh my God.
Casey:
Exactly.
Jeff:
So yeah, yeah, that is not the way it should go. They probably should have charged him, not with buggery, but for like, you know, obscenity on a police official because they had to watch that tape.
Casey:
Right. Well, at that point the horse was already out of the barn so to speak.
Jeff:
Oh my God.
Casey:
Uh, anyway, Verene was already on probation after pleading guilty to buggery last year and was sentenced to three years of probation, ordered to stay away from the Lazy B Stables, and declared a sex offender.
Jeff:
His poor parole officer. All right. Here Verene. Have a seat. So, uh, you got a job here it looks like. So you fucked any horses in the last 30 days? You know, every month he has to ask him. . .
Casey:
Because that’s the only thing. That’s the only thing the probation’s for. Right?
Jeff:
Exactly.
Casey:
There wasn’t anything else. It wasn’t like, have you cleaned your life up? It wasn’t like are you off drugs? It wasn’t like you know you’re not hanging with the gang or carrying a gun or whatever the fuck. It’s like you’ve been to the stable. You kind of smell a little bit like hay.
Jeff:
What’s going on?
Casey:
What’s going on? Is there something you’re not telling me?
Jeff:
Trust me. It’s all right.
Casey:
Right. Meanwhile he’s got like a big hoof print on his collarbone area, it’s all red.
Jeff:
A big horse shaped hickey on his. . .
Casey:
Big kind of, yeah.
Jeff:
Big huge thing.
Casey:
Exactly. They have a. . .
Jeff:
Cross cutting thing. . .
Casey:
And he’s like what’s that? It’s a birthmark. I don’t remember it being there last time. Yeah, he comes in with a giant scarf. It’s like fucking huge, right. . .
Jeff:
Like old-timey cowboys in the movies wore where they, where the real fake movie cowboys scarves.
Casey:
Well now we know why the old time cowboys were wearing those scarves. Pretty much. Sounds like they were trying to hid something from their probation officer, parole officer. Yeah.
Jeff:
Yeah. Hickeys from Trigger.
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Jeff:
Hide that shit.
Casey:
Giddy up.
Jeff:
Well at the very end he talks to his, they get a quote from his brother and. . .
Casey:
Do they?
Jeff:
Yeah. And, where, which you feel bad for the family member who has to, he picks up the phone. . .
Casey:
Let me say, you know. . .
Jeff:
. . .before the story’s broke. . .
Casey:
. . .you know I didn’t see this part of the story. So let me, let me go ahead and read that for the listeners. Verene has had mental problems for several years. Couldn’t guess that one.
Jeff:
Wait, this is his brother saying this?
Casey:
No, it’s just this article.
Jeff:
Oh, okay they’re just explaining then.
Casey:
But seemed to get better after getting court ordered treatment last year said his brother, the Reverend James Verene.
Jeff:
Okay. Do you think he’s related to Ben Verene?
Casey:
I have no idea. I just like the fact that his brother is a Reverend.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And the Lord say eth. . .
Jeff:
Right. Can I get an amen?
Casey:
Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
Neigh.
Casey:
Who lives just down the street from his brother and the stables.
Jeff:
So they’re all, it’s all. . .
Casey:
It’s just one, it’s just out of control, yeah.
Jeff:
This is, this cul de sac is hopping on Friday nights.
Casey:
Right. This is going to be the next HBO series basically. Right? It’s like the horses of South. . .
Jeff:
Real stables.
Casey:
Real stables. Real stables.
Jeff:
With the Reverend Verene.
Casey:
Ripped from the headlines. He’s done all right when he was on the medicine. I don’t know if he’s still taking it. Guessing no.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Said James Verene who added his brother has kept himself, kept to himself a lot in the last few months. So apparently. . .
Jeff:
He didn’t keep to himself enough.
Casey:
. . .enough. He kept to himself and the horse.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Who shall remain nameless apparently. We still don’t know the name of this horse. So apparently there is a medicine that prevents you from having sex with a horse.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
I’m not sure what medicine that is. That’s a good medicine to have.
Jeff:
Right. I want, that should be taken preemptively. Like that should be in the fucking water supply with fluoride.
Casey:
Vitamin H. It’s in the multivitamin. Yeah.
Jeff:
You have your fluoride. You have your uh, horseocrafin, that keeps you off horses. Just put it in the water supply. I don’t want to have anybody entertaining this thought.
Casey:
Right. Yes.
Jeff:
The horses will approve. We have to keep the water separate from the horses or they ain’t fucking each other.
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. That’s, we have to use separate horse water. Yeah.
Jeff:
Horse water from human water. The human’s should be taking the medicine that keeps you from fucking horses.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
At all times.
Casey:
Right. Because right now, it’s a. . .
Jeff:
Like I’m drinking a rock star. It has caffeine, green tea, urba mate, B vitamins, there’s nothing here about non-horse fucking. That should be one of the ingredients.
Casey:
Well, this is the problem, is right now if you want to have, get the anti-horse fucking supplement, you have to go to a store and look through a whole number of things and find. . .
Jeff:
Well you probably also need a prescription. And you know, Obama’s health plan hopefully. . .
Casey:
Will cover that.
Jeff:
. . .will solve this problem where we can get these drugs American’s need over the counter instead of having to have an embarrassing you know. . .
Casey:
Or go to Canada. Like lots of people go to Canada every year to get their anti-horse fucking thing.
Jeff:
Exactly.
Casey:
Like you notice they never have any sodomized horses in Canada. It’s only penguins there but no one’s ever solved that problem. Yeah.
Jeff:
Hopefully Obama straightens this shit out.
Casey:
Yeah, we’ll see what they can do.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Anyway, uh, that’s I think all there is now that I forgot about the medicine situation.
Jeff:
Holy shit. That is just not the way it should go.
Casey:
Oh, well, nope, sorry. But this article just keeps on. . .
Jeff:
Keeps on giving.
Casey:
. . .keeps on having a little something.
Jeff:
It’s like the horse that keeps on thrusting.
Casey:
You know, I’m not enjoying this article as much as I thought I was gonna. It’s almost taxing. This is almost a tough one to go through.
Jeff:
I’m tired. That’s what I’m saying. We have to go get some food after this.
Casey:
Yeah, I agree with you. Because here at the end, right at the end, I thought it was, it’s like in the movie. Right? When it’s like the bad guy is dead. They shot him, they ground him up, whatever the fuck. But no, he comes bursting out through the flames and shoots a bunch of shoot where they have to take him out one more time. Last sentence — everyone around here has horses, Kinnley said, and they all said the same thing — you should have shot him.
Jeff:
That’s how they roll in South Carolina. There’s no you know what, we don’t mess around with a trial, you know.
Casey:
No.
Jeff:
Because there’s always some lawyer, some slippery lawyer, that’s going to get that horse fucker off on a technicality.
Casey:
Some yankee ass lawyer, coming down from the north.
Jeff:
He comes down here.
Casey:
Tries to tell us.
Jeff:
Bosses us around. Casey. Exactly.
Jeff:
And we’re not going to stand for that. Southern justice.
Casey:
Southern justice. That’s right.
Jeff:
Southern justice. Fuck me. You know what? South Carolina, you know, it might as well. . .
Casey:
Is that’s what’s coming?
Jeff:
. . .it might as well not exist.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
I am never going to South Carolina. I’ve heard North Carolina, Raleigh area is pretty awesome.
Casey:
You think so?
Jeff:
But you know what? North Carolina too. South Carolina is why both Carolinas are out.
Casey:
So as far as you’re concerned. . .
Jeff:
Epic games, move.
Casey:
Carolina is not good. That’s what you’re saying?
Jeff:
Right. Carolina is no good. No good.
Casey:
Okay. Just a blanket no good on all Carolinas.
Jeff:
Carolina listeners, band together with our Florida listeners and commute to another state. Get the fuck out.
Casey:
I see. Where here’s one thing that I don’t totally understand. The person on trial is the person who had sex with a horse. Which I admit is a behavior we should probably try to curtail. On the other hand, nobody seems to be concerned with all these people with shotguns who just said they were going to shoot someone in their barn if they catch them around the horse. That’s like, that’s actually a little more scary. . .
Jeff:
People, South Carolina. . .
Casey:
. . .I’m not so worried about some dude having sex with my horse. To be honest with you, if he has sex with my horse I’d be upset. I’m not as upset about that as I might be about getting shot by someone with a shotgun.
Jeff:
I, like to be South Carolina, bunch of farmers running around with shotguns. It’s like . . .
Casey:
That’s really what the story makes it sound like. Yeah.
Jeff:
All with each other, right? Like, they all keep cameras on because every one of their neighbors got some other fucked up kink and it’s like hold on. This is just what we hear about. Everything is going bananas there. Get the fuck out of that state. Just do it. All right, everybody.
Casey:
Oh shit.
Jeff:
You’re going back?
Casey:
I’m sorry this. . .
Jeff:
Why you keep dipping back in? We were. . .
Casey:
Okay, last time. I promise.
Jeff:
. . .we were out of this pool. We had dried off and you’re pushing us back in the pool.
Casey:
This is the last one. County police don’t often investigate animal sex allegations, spokesman Sergeant Robert Keggler said. In fact, he said the last person charged with buggery in the county was Rodele Verene in 2007.
Jeff:
So they don’t. Well, I guess they’re like look, we can’t investigate every single tip that comes in.
Casey:
Every time someone has sex with a horse, we gotta, I got to put down my donut, drive out to the barn. . .
Jeff:
Look, that animal rights group. . .
Casey:
. . .and it’s always the same thing. You know. Was the horse asking for it?
Jeff:
. . .forced us to install that hotline. I’m having to answer that hotline. Most of those tips, to be honest with you, like they’re made up.
Casey:
Yep.
Jeff:
A lot of them, there’s a lot of laughing from people who call the horse hotline.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
We probably shouldn’t have put that next to the Jr. High school. We get a lot of kids joking around calling in.
Casey:
Exactly.
Jeff:
We can’t follow it all up.
Casey:
And frankly we show up there, the horse isn’t wearing any clothing, right? It looks kind of suggestive.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Frankly. . .
Jeff:
It’s her fault.
Casey:
. . .I’m not sure who’s at fault here. Yeah.
Jeff:
Exactly.
Casey:
So we don’t even exchange. . .
Jeff:
The horse was asking for it, most of the time.
Casey:
God damn these people. All right.
Jeff:
All right.
Casey:
We shouldn’t, you know. . .
Jeff:
Close, just close the link.
Casey:
All right. I feel like, I feel bad dismissing all of South Carolina for that article though. Because here’s the thing, that same thing can apply to us because Washington state. Hi. I mean, we’re the ones who started that.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
These people in South Carolina probably got the idea from reading our fricking paper.
Jeff:
You think that. . ..
Casey:
I mean that’s where we’re at.
Jeff:
Woah. We are, you know, Seattle kind of leads the nation in trends, right?
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
We had grunge before. . .
Casey:
Nirvana. Starbucks. Getting fucked by a horse and dying apparently is the next one, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
We always have the tragic death. That’s like the Nirvana thing, right?
Jeff:
Yeah, totally.
Casey:
It’s always tragic.
Jeff:
Yep, exactly.
Casey:
Trend tragedy.
Jeff:
Right. They found the horse with a shotgun and a huge heroin needle. Anyway, all right. Thanks everybody. Give us links that you like us to talk about.
Casey:
Yes. A lot of these links come from you, that we talk about. We can’t talk about them all because there is way more in a week than we can do in a show but we always. . .
Jeff:
Yes, we do always read them.
Casey:
. . .look through them and we find the good stuff.
Jeff:
Uh, you can email us at podcast@jeffandcaseyshow.com.
Casey:
Podcast@jeffandcaseyshow.com or you can go to jeffandcaseyshow.com.
Jeff:
Everything. We’re all , in all places.
Casey:
Facebook.com/jeffandcasey. Got our own dandy domain name thanks to you the listeners.
Jeff:
That’s right.
Casey:
All you people who fanned us on Facebook. That’s the only reason they gave us the little vanity domain name.
Jeff:
Right. It’s just upward from here. Because we stooped to the horse fucking stories, I forsee us doubling listeners or halving.
Casey:
Halving.
Jeff:
It could go either way.
Casey:
Double or half.
Jeff:
Yeah, double, yeah, it’s, it’s a gamble.
Casey:
As long as I am not the third person tried for animal sex allegations in South Carolina, I’ll be okay with my life at this point.
Jeff:
Right. Just stay away. Alrightly. Hey, thanks everybody and we will see y’all next week.
Casey:
Have a great week.
Jeff:
Yep.
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casey muratori
the jeff and casey show - season 2 - episode 11
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