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The Technician
No Imperfections Noted
The Jeff and Casey Show
Jeff and Casey Time
Casey Muratori
Seattle, WA
The Real Joker Never Picks Up His Cards
"So, grammar-schiesse.com is going up soon just to service Casey."
Original air date: September 14th, 2008
Topics. Cargo pants. Boo Yeah. John’s hot book girl. Expensive clothes. “Oh, the humanity!” PAX vs. GDC. Wendy’s. Hardcore grammar porn. Catholic game guilt. GAP headsets. Cary Grant vs. Hugh Grant. Confessions. Portland vs. dangling prepositions. Rosaries. Jeff’s personal hell. The Large Hadron Collider. Spore. Tripping Joker. Dave Moore’s junk.
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Transcript
Jeff:
Now you’re chomping. I’m not gonna do the intro when you’re chomping.
Casey:
I’m gonna be eating crackers this whole podcast so you better start the podcast at some point.
Jeff:
Oh, my God. Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Jeff & Casey Show.
Casey:
Hello, and welcome to the Jeff & Casey Show.
Jeff:
This is number 30, episode 3-0. It is September 13th, it’s about…
Casey:
What could possibly go wrong?
Jeff:
12 in the morning.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And we’re starting the podcast late.
Casey:
This isn’t late for us.
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
Midnight start is like…
Jeff:
Not too bad…
Casey:
Oh, that’s fine.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
That’s part of the course.
Jeff:
We’ll probably end up breaking halfway through when we get bored.
Casey:
You think so?
Jeff:
I think we’ll go get some goodies.
Casey:
Well, I’ve been eating these crackers…
Jeff:
That’s how we roll.
Casey:
I don’t know what you’ve got there. I thought you bought an apple pie at the store. Didn’t you buy an apple pie or something?
Jeff:
It’s gone.
Casey:
Already ate that?
Jeff:
Yep, I needed a little sugar, if you know what I’m saying.
Casey:
You need some [ 2 Nut ] day is what you need. You shouldn’t be eating those apple pies, too. They don’t look good at all. They look mad
Jeff:
Oh, they’re good. It wasn’t an apple. It was a lemon.
Casey:
Even worse.
Jeff:
The smoothie lemon. I don’t know what it’s made of but I like it.
Casey:
Even worse.
Jeff:
Oh, my goodness. But now, what is good is that for the first time in two podcasts, you are awake.
Casey:
I am fully recharged.
Jeff:
You are recovered.
Casey:
I am fully recovered.
Jeff:
You’re ready to podcast.
Casey:
Yes, my convalescence…
Jeff:
Who knows what’s gonna happen?
Casey:
That’s a good point. My convalescence has definitely completed.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Now, you know, I will say something, that this is a… You know, I probably shouldn’t say this. This is gonna be bad if I say this, actually. Everyone’s gonna hate me. Maybe that’s not that big of a problem. I don’t know. But one thing I will say is that having gone through the Penny Arcade Conference, I kind of feel like everyone who I met at the Penny Arcade Conference was awesome.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Like, pretty much across the board for the whole 3 days there…
Jeff:
It was all good?
Casey:
It was all good. And you know, it was booth duty, right. That’s what it was that I was doing.
Jeff:
Yep. Yeah.
Casey:
I was demonstrating the game, my game, to everyone who came, pretty much. And you know, doing setup of the booth or whatever and, you know talking with other people who were vendors there and whatever, that sort of thing. And I was like, I remember absolutely hating my life after doing, like, any kind of interfacing with other people at the GDC. I mean, I go to the GDC and I come back feeling horrible about my industry, about what I do for a living. Like, I would come back from the GDC feeling like there was nothing good about what I did for a living. You come back from the Penny Arcade Conference and I was like… I felt like I wanted to be better at what I did because these people were so great. And it’s like… I don’t know what that… Are we all assholes? Are game developers assholes? Like, what is the problem? What’s going on there? I don’t know what’s going on, psychologically speaking. I feel bad about myself now.
Jeff:
Well, I don’t know. Maybe it’s just like you like game players more than you like game developers. Who knows why? It’s…
Casey:
Yeah, I don’t know why, either.
Jeff:
Well, you saw game developers, too, there so it’s not exclusively bad. You saw a lot of game developers, as well.
Casey:
I guess that’s true.
Jeff:
It was just… It’s a different scene.
Casey:
It is a different scene, yeah.
Jeff:
Who knows, maybe in PAX, once PAX is 10 years/20 years old like the GDC is, maybe it starts to do that weird calcification thing where there’s, like…
Casey:
Oh, yeah…
Jeff:
You know, it becomes more…
Casey:
You know what, you have a very good point there because when I first went to the GDC in 1996, maybe ‘97… You had a better time?
Casey:
I think I did come away with it, with a… You know, maybe it’s once it gets too corporate…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It gets very large and then you’re no longer dealing with, you know…
Jeff:
I don’t think it’s actually corporate stuff. I feel like…
Casey:
What is it?
Jeff:
It has something to do with all of a sudden, everyone’s there for an ulterior motive…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Like, it’s not necessarily corporate…
Casey:
That could be.
Jeff:
It’s not necessarily advertising. It’s just everybody’s… It seems like everybody is there to get a job or to show off some shit or to tie down some financing. It’s just different…
Casey:
Or just to feel better than other people because of whatever… Yeah…
Jeff:
They don’t just go to, like, “Hey, games…”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And PAX is still all games. And maybe that’ll change in time. Who knows?
Casey:
That could very well be. You have a very good point there. You do.
Jeff:
I don’t think it’s corporate-ness. I mean, obviously, the expo is crazy and stuff…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
But I don’t think that’s the problem with GDC anymore. It’s become a method for getting something. And that… I don’t know how you change that.
Casey:
That’s a very god observation. You may well be right about that because you’re right. I did see other game developers there. In fact, all the other people who were demonstrating PAX games there, I thought they were all great people. And they’re game developers, right. Now, they’re indie game developers which, you know, is different…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And maybe there’s some humility that come with that that’s different from when you go to the GDC and you’re all, like, you know, big shots or whatever…
Jeff:
Yeah, I don’t know.
Casey:
I’m not sure. That’s a good question.
Jeff:
It is a different feeling.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And I don’t necessarily believe it’s simply the corporate part of it although that, I’m sure, factors into it. And maybe the corporations being there allows it to be that kind of…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
I don’t know. It’s like a bar, late at night…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
When everybody’s just looking for someone to hook up with.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
And it’s different…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
I don’t know.
Casey:
I don’t know. You’ve certainly put a much better… I think you’ve analyzed it much better than I could have. I just wasn’t sure. All I knew is, like… All I know is comparing and contrasting the 2 experiences was pretty dramatic.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I was like, “Wow.” So I don’t know what to say about that especially because it was brutal. I mean, I was demo-ing the game pretty much start to finish every day. And I just went home and fell asleep immediately after and I was exhausted.
Jeff:
Yeah. And then you were tired for almost 10 days after.
Casey:
I had no voice and it was like… But I was still just like, “Wow, this is absolutely charming.” Every single person who came up to us was fabulous.
Jeff:
But it’s good that it gets you really excited and, like, now you’re all psyched and happy to get rolling and get back to the game?
Casey:
Well, I was raised Catholic. So, no. basically, it made me feel like… Just inferior. Like, I was like… I felt guilty, right. I was like, “I don’t deserve to have such nice people coming up to play my game…”
Jeff:
Be nice to you…
Casey:
Like, I have not delivered them as good a thing as I am capable of. And I feel bad about that, right? It was definitely… You know, I definitely had that kind of reverse sort of… What’s the word for it? Puritanical? I don’t know. Maybe Catholic guilt is the wrong word.
Jeff:
What do you have to do when you go…
Casey:
Self-flagellation?
Jeff:
No, it’s like…
Casey:
Hair shirt?
Jeff:
You say Mary’s? What is it?
Casey:
Oh, “Hail Mary”s.
Jeff:
It is really a “Hail Mary”? I was gonna say “Hail Mary” ‘cos I thought it was that. But then I was like, “That’s the football term.”
Casey:
Well, yeah…
Jeff:
Not being Catholic, I only know it in that context.
Casey:
Well, there’s the Rosary, right…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Which is like a string of beads and you’re supposed to go through the different beads and say… I don’t know.
Jeff:
The beads represent different sins?
Casey:
I was raised Catholic by people who are now atheists. So, you know, I don’t know. I don’t think I ever had to say a Rosary. They certainly weren’t gonna make me do anything religious as a child.
Jeff:
Well, why do you say a Rosary. I thought the Rosaries were the necklace that you wear?
Casey:
Because it’s for counting. So if you… I believe that the way that it works is, traditionally speaking…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And like I said, I never did this, so I can’t say from experience. Traditionally speaking, what happens in the Catholic church is there’s confession, right?
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So you’re supposed to go to the priest, right, or whoever. And you tell them, you know, your sins. But it’s anonamized so they don’t really know who you are. You go into a confessional where the priest is sitting and there’s a wall between the 2 of you…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
You’ve seen this in movies, I’m sure.
Jeff:
Thousands of times, right.
Casey:
This is real.
Jeff:
It’s very cinematic. You get shadows through the thing…
Casey:
Right. Yes. This is very real. This exists. You go in there and you sit down and you talk to them through a little wall. Now, if it’s a small parish, maybe they could tell who you are. But in a larger church, it is pretty anonymous. Like, they literally just don’t know who you are.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So you confess your sins anonymously…
Jeff:
Do they stay in there all day just listening?
Casey:
It’s not all day. Depending on the situation…
Jeff:
’Cos that little room’s gotta smell like…
Casey:
It probably doesn’t smell that good, no.
Jeff:
Like, seriously, like…
Casey:
I don’t know what happens under those robes or the bathing situation. I mean, they might just go commando under there so it could air out…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
I’m not sure. And for other reasons…
Jeff:
Let it fly? Yeah.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
You never know.
Casey:
Mmm… Anyways… So the point is, they will then listen to what your sins are…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
What you have confessed…
Jeff:
Uh-huh.
Casey:
And they will determine almost as if it were pharmacology, what prayers you need to say in order to absolve you of those sins.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
So in the Catholic faith, it is really not ambiguous how bad you have been or what you have to do to make up for your wrongdoings.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
It’s specific.
Jeff:
So they have a little matrix that they just go across by, like, masturbation and then the degree and then it’s this many things.
Casey:
Right, yeah, exactly. Well, I don’t…
Jeff:
Is it totally up to the dude to tell you how much?
Casey:
That I don’t know. Since I was never an altar boy or a priest or anything, I don’t know how they were supposed to determine…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
What prayers you were supposed to say or what quantity.
Jeff:
So if he’s having a shitty day, everybody’s gonna pay for it.
Casey:
Maybe. And maybe if he’s like a lenient priest…
Jeff:
Oh, okay.
Casey:
In general, you get more… Or a harsh priest… I don’t know. So I don’t know if there’s some kind of special training that they go through, like, “Here’s…”
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
I don’t know if there’s, like, actuarial levels. They’re like, “Okay, you know, you have now reached this level so you’re able to assess mortal sins as opposed to…” You know, like, whatever… So they will then say something like, “Say 12 Hail Mary’s and 5 Our Father’s,” and then you’ll be absolved.
Jeff:
Oh, okay.
Casey:
Right. So, that…
Jeff:
You did a little hand thing there. Do they do… Do they…
Casey:
Well, no, you can’t see them.
Jeff:
I know. But you did that. Does that mean that… You kind of made a cross.
Casey:
Well, they’ll do that to you in person if you’re talking to them or something.
Jeff:
Oh, I see.
Casey:
When you are interfacing with them for another reason, like let’s say you’re going up to say communion or something of this matter, right…
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Maybe they’ll make that hand gesture. But no, you can’t see them. They’re behind… So they are supposed to be praying for you, as well.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Like, it’s not just you who is taking part in this absolution. It is them, as well.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
If you want the full information about this, you should ask Dave Moore. I think he’s, like… You know…
Jeff:
He’s Catholic?
Casey:
He went to Catholic school and stuff.
Jeff:
Oh, okay.
Casey:
So I think he would know a lot better than I would some of these things. I quit so, you know, I didn’t even get to have…
Jeff:
You didn’t get the full action.
Casey:
No, but I had gone to confession, I don’t know… Before…
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
I don’t remember it very well but, I mean, it was exactly as it was portrayed in the movies, pretty much.
Jeff:
Oh, man.
Casey:
The lighting is less dramatic, certainly. Where the hell was I? Oh, the PAX thing and the GDC. Okay. Yeah. But no, I’m totally recovered now. My voice is back. And…
Jeff:
And you’re ready to pod. You are ready to roll.
Casey:
So…
Jeff:
You had a whole bunch of stuff in the podcast ideas file, hadn’t put anything in there in a while and all of a sudden, bam, Casey is back.
Casey:
Well, yeah. Well, that’s only because I’ve been out and about this week now, you know. I was kind of recovering…
Jeff:
So you got some experiences.
Casey:
Yes. Well, there were a number of things that happened. I went over at… Speaking of Dave Moore, I went over to his house to barbecue.
Jeff:
Oh, okay.
Casey:
You remember that. I came over to RAD first then we went to the barbecue.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
You never showed up but I…
Jeff:
Yeah, I fell asleep.
Casey:
You were asleep. Yeah. Nice. So that was kind of an interesting day because I had gone over… And as you know, many, many podcasts ago, the last time I worked as an imaginary Electronic Arts executive, you know that obviously we are required to eat at Burger King as often as possible…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Which, by the way, our advertising… For someone who doesn’t play a lot of video games, Jeff, our advertising has been working anew.
Jeff:
I know.
Casey:
Do you want to take a second here and tell the listeners that you’ve been at Burger King nearly every day for the past 2 weeks?
Jeff:
Holy shit. Yeah, they changed the toppings and the patty on the BK Veggie Burger. And they’re open ‘til 2.
Casey:
Yep.
Jeff:
Changed my life. And they have…
Casey:
Wait, wait…
Jeff:
And they have Slurpees. Holy shit balls.
Casey:
Wait a second. Are you sure that you haven’t played some “Army of 2” or “Fight Night 3” or anything…
Jeff:
They very well could’ve subliminally talked me into it.
Casey:
Yeah. Are you sure that we don’t deserve some credit for this or was it just the change in the veggie burger?
Jeff:
I don’t care. I’m good, like…
Casey:
Is there any possible that you’ve picked up our new title, “Command & Conquer 4: Change in the Veggie Burger”? Did you…
Jeff:
No, I didn’t. I couldn’t play that one…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
I was testing some movies and the little one-framer’s got…
Casey:
If you pick up a copy of “Battlefield Heroes”, which I highly recommend, you’ll also notice that you can pay an extra $5 in-game to change the veggie burger.
Jeff:
Oh, okay.
Casey:
Yeah. You can rearrange the toppings. I think it’s, like, 50 cents a topping, to change it around in there.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
It’s perfect.
Jeff:
Okay. Yeah.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
It could’ve been that. It could’ve been maybe [ “BK 4” ].
Casey:
Yes, [ “BK 4” ]. You have discovered new, creamy ranch dipping sauce.
Jeff:
Exactly.
Casey:
Yeah. A classic.
Jeff:
And you take it into space.
Casey:
That’s right.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And then you colonize by putting Burger King outlets all over the universe.
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. Oh, my God. How did they miss that?
Jeff:
How do you know it’s not in that?
Casey:
That’s a very good point. Maybe eventually, they will… ‘Cos it’s user-generated content.
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
And one of those users could be Burger King.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And they could have a very high bias towards picking Burger King-oriented creatures.
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
You know, it’s got this nice custom BK paintjob on the creature with, like, little Burger King…
Jeff:
No, they’ll just… No, the commercial will just be that crazy king.
Casey:
Oh, the king head. The king head could be something you could stick on creatures as an attachment, right? It’d be walking around.
Jeff:
No, that would just be one of the things in the palette. You don’t even have to model that.
Casey:
That’s what I’m saying.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
That’s what I’m saying. It’s one of the attachables like when you attach claws…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Or lips or whatever… You can just stick the BK head on there.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
It’ll be perfect. Anyway… So I went to Burger King. And I pulled into the Burger King. And the patrons who had parked on either side f the spot into which I had pulled my car…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Where very close together. There wasn’t a lot of room for my car.
Jeff:
You had to squeeze in.
Casey:
I had to squeeze in. Okay. And I knew ahead…
Jeff:
And that does not scare you because you don’t care about your cars.
Casey:
I don’t give a sh--…
Jeff:
Door ding it.
Casey:
Dude, are you kidding?
Jeff:
If you door ding my car, [ the war ] would sit to the sap that covers your car.
Casey:
Right. Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
When I pull my car into a spot…
Jeff:
People move.
Casey:
It is almost impossible for the other people to not be getting the raw deal when I open my car door and just, like, nail it into the side of theirs or whatever, when I try to squeeze out or whatever. But hey, you know what, don’t park so close to the line…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
If you’re worried about your car, okay…
Jeff:
Uh-huh.
Casey:
Anyway, I open up the car and I squeeze out. I squeeze out. But as I am shuffling past, after I close the door and am shuffling past to get to the thing, my pant leg goes into slightly the wheel well of the car…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And it is not a clean car, okay.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Not my car. The other car.
Jeff:
Oh, okay.
Casey:
I mean, my car is also not a clean car but that’s not the point.
Jeff:
So you’re getting smudged?
Casey:
So I now have this huge, gigantic smear down the front of my pant leg.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And I’m like, “That’s unattractive.” So after… Of course, going into a Burger King, [inaudible 14:47] I was not the sloppiest-attired individual there… I mean, so EA Corporate doesn’t hear me say this but point being, it is not a high-class eating establishment…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
If anyone had any illusions about that… I finished my meal. I went back out to the car and I was like, “Well, I would like to change pants, if possible, before going to this barbecue.” Why are you dancing the Kleenex box?
Jeff:
I just noticed the Kleenex box has a star in it. Doesn’t it look like that… It’s a Mario star.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Fabulous.
Jeff:
I know.
Casey:
Can we stay on topic here, please?
Jeff:
No. Like, when have we stayed on topic? The fact that we’ve kept this story going is amazing alone.
Casey:
That’s true but this is a fabulous story.
Jeff:
Okay. Keep it going. You got a smudge…
Casey:
It’s actually not. It’s a terrible story. I’m hoping this ends up in the bonus ‘cos it’s really… It doesn’t pay off at all. Anyway… So point being…
Jeff:
You have to have a payoff at the end.
Casey:
There’s no payoff for this story. I’m telling you ahead of time…
Jeff:
You’re saying this right now…
Casey:
I’m telling you right now. It’s more just because it… Yeah.
Jeff:
Some of your stories are like that. You get to the end and then you’re just like… That’s it. That’s the end.
Casey:
Well, that’s because I don’t really tell stories. You’re the storyteller.
Jeff:
We do have to tell a story to the viewers.
Casey:
That’s the thing.
Jeff:
Okay, keep going.
Casey:
Okay. So point being, I want to get a new pair of pants. I’m just like, “Okay, I’ll go pair of pants,” right?
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So I go to the malls, which are right there, right? I just drive down the street, like, 4 blocks. And I go to the malls.
Jeff:
You’re in Bellevue or something?
Casey:
Yeah, I’m in Bellevue. So I go to Bellevue Square Mall. Like, how hard is it to get a pair of pants at a mall, right? It’s really not that hard.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Now, what I failed to realize is that the Bellevue Square Mall is architected around selling to a very specific demographic…
Jeff:
And that is?
Casey:
Into which I do not, in any way fit…
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
And that is, A, I’m male…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Which already puts me at a massive disadvantage. And B, I’m 30… Or 31.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
But I’m over 30 is the point. And that puts me basically so far out of the possible clientele, right…
Jeff:
You didn’t buy, like, some super baggy jeans that your ass would hang out of? C’mon. That’s a good look.
Casey:
So here’s the thing. I just want some cargo pants.
Jeff:
Uh-huh.
Casey:
That’s all I want is some cargo pants.
Jeff:
What are cargo pants, exactly?
Casey:
Cargo pants are just pants that have pockets on the knees…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Or right just above the knee.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So you have a second set of pockets. It’s where I put my cellphone, that’s all.
Jeff:
Oh, I see. It’s clanking around by your knees?
Casey:
It’s where I place my cellphone.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Yeah, is that too much to ask?
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Alright. So anyway, I start going into these stores. I’m walking around, right…
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
I go into the Gap or something…
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
And they have, like, 2 pairs of cargo pants, neither of which are my size. Like literally, that’s it.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I’m like, “Alright, I guess I’m fucked.” I walk out of there. I go into Abercrombie &… No. I don’t know where I… I tried to go to Banana Republic. It’s closed. I tried to go to some other store… I don’t know who it was, Eddie Bauer or whatever, that’s it… No cargo pants there. Finally, I go to Abercrombie & Fitch, right, which I don't really understand Abercrombie & Fitch… I don’t know what the idea is behind Abercrombie & Fitch. There's, like, basically just nude men everywhere, right. Like, that's the marketing situation, right. But they sell clothes in there that ostensibly look more like straight clothes to me. So I guess it's for, like, girlfriends shopping for clothes for their guys or something… I don’t really know. Like, I have no idea how it works, right?
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
But I’m working my way through the store and it’s been overgrown with, like, flora. Like, it’s kind of like… I’m trying to work my…
Jeff:
The Abercrombie is?
Casey:
Yeah, there’s, like, lots of ferns and stuff.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So I’m trying to figure out if there’s any cargo pants. And there’s some cargo shorts but I can’t find the pants.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
And I can’t tell… I’m in this jungle. I’m confused. So I go up to the counter and I ask the girl there. I’m like, “Do you have any cargo pants, like, full length cargo pants or just shorts?”
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And she gave me this look like… I don’t even know how to describe it.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
There wasn’t a lot of horsepower behind her… Like, there wasn’t a lot of synaptic firing going on back there.
Jeff:
I see. Alright.
Casey:
But she knew her business, right?
Jeff:
Uh-huh.
Casey:
And she…
Jeff:
You’re on her…
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. Right…
Jeff:
Turf.
Casey:
She looks back at me and she was like, “Maybe 3 years ago.”
Jeff:
Awesome.
Casey:
I was like, “Okay. Thank you. And I am out of here.”
Jeff:
“Thank you and good night, everybody. I’m gonna go buy some cheese.”
Casey:
Yeah, totally. I was like, “Wow.” So I was… I was not offended by this, I have to tell you, because… I mean, hey. I don’t… My dressing scheme is, like, I want to buy the cheapest clothes possible because I have bought expensive clothes before. I had to go to an opera opening, right, in San Francisco…
Jeff:
Wow. Okay.
Casey:
So I went to a fancy… Like, a store that I kind of liked… I looked around for a while and I was like, “I like the clothes in this store. I’m gonna go buy a suit,” right, ‘cos I needed to buy a suit. So I go in there and I’m talking with them and doing stuff… And the problem is that, you know, I understand… I have an opinion…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
About what I would like to wear.
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
And if I allowed myself to wear what I wanted to wear, it would cost $50,000 a year, right?
Jeff:
Oh, I see. Yeah.
Casey:
It’s like, the instant I let myself go beyond cargo pants and a t-shirt…
Jeff:
You’re in trouble?
Casey:
A lot of trouble.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And there’s no question that there are stores set up to take that money from you.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
You can spend an arbitrarily large amount of money on clothing, right?
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
So if you let yourself spend an arbitrarily large amount of… You can.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
And so, I was just like, “No. I know from that experience that I will always force myself to only wear extraordinarily simple, cheap clothing…”
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Because otherwise…
Jeff:
It’s out of control.
Casey:
It’s a disaster. Yeah.
Jeff:
You’d be showing…
Casey:
So I’m fine with that. Yeah, I don’t care if it’s 3-year old fashion. That’s fine with me.
Jeff:
Okay. I’ll tell you a story that’s similar to this one.
Casey:
[ Good ‘cos I’m gonna eat ] some of these crackers.
Jeff:
Yeah, you eat the crackers. So this one time, I actually was… This was at Wendy’s. I pulled up to a drive-thru. This was probably 20 years ago. I pulled up to a drive-thru. And the lady in there was kind of looking at me like kind of quizzing, like looking whatever… She’s looking at me a whole bunch of times, right, and kind of freaking me out. I’m like, “Whoa, does she like me or something?” You know, and all these things are going through my mind…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And I’m like, you know, trying not to look back. I’m fucking with my radio. Like… Turning the air conditioner on…
Casey:
Can I ask a quick question, though?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
So the girl at the drive-thru window is looking at you?
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
And your go-to thought is “maybe she likes me”?
Jeff:
Yeah. Well, it was like… She’s looking directly at me, like, in this way. And I’m a little freaked out.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
I don’t like it.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Okay. So let me finish.
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
So I’m playing with this stuff and I’m like, “I don’t like this,” I’m nervous, right.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
I don’t like this whole situation.
Casey:
Now, I just want to get… I’m just trying to understand something here, okay, because we have had discussions on this podcast, right.
Jeff:
Uh-huh.
Casey:
We’ve had experience together…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Okay. Where we have pulled into a parking lot…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
In a Ferrari.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
And everyone has looked at you and you’re like, “No, they don’t do that.” Yet, you pulled up to the drive-thru window of a Wendy’s…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And you think that the girl there is checking you out, okay…
Jeff:
No, this was… No, no, no… Yes.
Casey:
What is wrong with you?
Jeff:
Wait. Let me finish the story.
Casey:
You have no idea what’s going on around you. You are completely confused.
Jeff:
I have no idea… And I end up getting focused. I know she’s doing it…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And every time I actually look over there…
Casey:
Yeah, sure…
Jeff:
She’s looking at me.
Casey:
Okay. I’m sure.
Jeff:
Yeah. I’m playing with the radio and, like, turning the air conditioner on and whatever…
Casey:
You’re trying to ignore it…
Jeff:
I’m trying to ignore it…
Casey:
You’re like, “Why is this person staring at me?”
Jeff:
And so, she comes to the window and she goes, “Hey,” and I’m like, “Uh… Hey.” And she goes, “Don’t I know you?” And I’m like, “Um… I don’t know if I know you.” “Where do you work?” And like…
Casey:
Wow.
Jeff:
As soon as she said where do I work, that changes my mindset, right…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
’Cos like, work is something where I am actually in full control. That is not a thing that… I can talk about what I do…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
I’m very comfortable in that.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
I’m like, “Yeah, I work at a video game company.”
Casey:
But purchasing food at a drive-thru window is a foreign, alien experience that involves [inaudible 23:05]
Jeff:
Wait a second. No, no. It’s not that. It’s just I didn’t have any firm ground to stand on there.
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
And now I do. She’s interested in what I do.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And I’m good at what I do.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
I’m like, “Oh, I own a video game company.” And she goes, “Oh…” And I go, “What?” And she goes, “I thought you worked at The Gap.”
Casey:
Whoa.
Jeff:
The Gap was so much cooler…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Than owning a video game company.
Casey:
Like, “I’ve got jean-folding skills.”
Jeff:
Goddamn it. Yeah, exactly.
Casey:
Have you ever seen… Now, here’s a thing. That is nearly exactly the same experience, isn’t it?
Jeff:
Exactly, yeah. That’s what reminded me…
Casey:
Now, you realize, of course, that… I think everyone’s had this experience. Have you ever gone to one of those stores and now they… They always have these little kind of microphones in their ear, like microphone head piece things. You know what I’m talking about? You go into a Gap or something and they’re… It’s like Secret Service or something. Do you know what I’m talking about? They have an earpiece. They can talk to other people in the store…
Jeff:
“We have a man down in Men’s Shoes…”
Casey:
Right, exactly.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Now, I was wondering what these are for but I think I realized what it was for because I’ve noticed if you go to any place in a store and you ruffle the merchandise, very soon after they’ve determined you’re no longer ruffling in that area, somebody comes by and poofs it back up again, you know what I’m talking about?
Jeff:
Oh, I see.
Casey:
I think there’s somebody watching…
Jeff:
They are clothes fluffers?
Casey:
I think there’s someone in the back who has a secret satellite camera that is looking at the layout of the store. And as soon as they’re, like, “Okay, we’re gonna need someone to go in there and put those jeans back up on the shelf…”
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
“Okay, actually, Unit 341, you are closest to that position. I want you to take a hard right…”
Jeff:
“Camera 5, I need you to zoom in over here. I need you to pan right and I want you to scroll over and follow that guy in…”
Casey:
“Wait, wait, wait. They’re going back to the clothes.”
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
“Pull back. Pull back. Everyone pull back. Okay, wait for it. Wait for it. And now. Okay, he’s turning around, talking to the wife. Fold now. Fold now.” Yeah. I think that’s what’s happening. Because what else would they need those little headsets for? It’s not high command…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Right? Lives are not at stake here.
Jeff:
It could be that they’re just leftover from them being at the gym, right, teaching the aerobics class and they go right from that job to the other job…
Casey:
It’s possible.
Jeff:
I don’t know.
Casey:
Well, I don’t think that’s actually true, though, because they don’t look like the same people to me. The people who work in a Gap don’t look like the aerobics instructors to me.
Jeff:
I think they…
Casey:
They don’t.
Jeff:
You don’t think there’s a crossover there?
Casey:
There may be a crossover…
Jeff:
They could be attending class. They’re not teaching.
Casey:
Yeah, occasionally there may be a crossover but no. I don’t know. I filed them in different mental categories. Now, here’s what I will say. Maybe it is more like the Secret Service. Like, maybe if there was a crazed gunman and he was shooting at some of the exclusive Fall line…
Jeff:
Right, not people…
Casey:
They would dive in front of that.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right. And take the bullet…
Jeff:
For the mannequin?
Casey:
For the… Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I don’t know. Probably not.
Jeff:
“Did he make it?” And they rush the mannequins into the back.
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Jeff:
Oh, my goodness. I went to Portland last weekend, you know, for a quick trip.
Casey:
I do know you went to Portland last weekend.
Jeff:
Yeah. And you know what, I don’t know how many listeners we have from Portland.
Casey:
None.
Jeff:
Okay, good. Because Portland sucks cock.
Casey:
What?
Jeff:
It is the worst.
Casey:
I heartily disagree with that statement.
Jeff:
Oh, my God.
Casey:
I cannot disagree strenuously enough. I think Portland’s fabulous.
Jeff:
Oh, my God. Okay, in Portland… First of…
Casey:
That sounds like the warm-up to a “you know you’re a redneck if”… “In Portland…”
Jeff:
Here’s the thing…
Casey:
“They’ve got good racks on their [ gutter ],” you know that’s what I thought you were saying.
Jeff:
I’m gonna launch a little… I’m gonna rant here a bit. First of…
Casey:
I can’t wait to disagree with everything you say because that’s ridiculous.
Jeff:
Alright. Okay, first of… And maybe it’s the part of Portland I’m in, Downtown Portland, okay, you can’t tell the difference between the people who live in Portland and the homeless people. They look exactly the same. One of them’s wearing clothes that they have to. One of them’s wearing clothes that are ironic and they’ve got some crazy t-shirt, haven’t washed, I’m dirty… Like, if there was a bomb in Portland…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
You wanted to have a dirty bomb in Portland, it’d be made out of fucking soap because the whole city needs a shower…
Casey:
You are off your rockers.
Jeff:
No, let me finish.
Casey:
You have lost it.
Jeff:
You walk around in Portland…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
This happened to me multiple times.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
You know when you’re walking and you’re like, “Uh-oh, crazy homeless person sitting on the road…”
Casey:
Yeah. Sure.
Jeff:
You can’t tell in Portland. I walked right up to this person and the person looked at me, looked right in my eyes and went, “Num, num, num, num…”
Casey:
You are on crack.
Jeff:
And I was like, “Fuck,” and just kept moving. Okay, everywhere in the downtown is, like, vintage clothes, vintage albums, vintage books… There’s a bookstore across the street from fucking Powell’s. Like, what the fuck is it doing there? I don’t understand.
Casey:
Is there seriously a bookstore?
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
What is… What bookstore is across…
Jeff:
It’s like, books for radicals, like… It’s crazy…
Casey:
Oh, okay. Right, right. You’re talking about like Revolution Books down in Capitol Hill or something?
Jeff:
Yeah, yeah, something like that. Oh, dude. I’m telling you. Then… Okay, I thought it was crazy on Friday and Saturday.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
On Sunday, there’s, like, a street fair downtown.
Casey:
Oh, cool.
Jeff:
Now, street fairs, you usually get the hippie-looking dudes.
Casey:
Yeah. HempFest.
Jeff:
In Portland… Right. In Portland, that was the squaring of the filth and laziness. Every 3 guys was carrying some shitty guitar on his back, like, strapped to his back with the neck pointed down…
Casey:
Yeah. Yep.
Jeff:
And usually with 2 girls following behind in crazy flower dresses and a little hat that’s kind of…
Casey:
I know what you’re talking about. Yep.
Jeff:
It was… Oh, my God. It was, like, 95 degrees and…
Casey:
So I just figured it out. I just finally figured out what the deal is here. So you remember last time on the podcast, I…You know what, did this make it into the podcast?
Jeff:
I don’t know.
Casey:
When I was talking about your own personal hell in Sartre’s “No Exit”? Did you cut that segment? I was talking about how hell in that play was being trapped in a room for all eternity with 2 people who drive you crazy.
Jeff:
I think we kept that in because we were talking about the sociopathic link policy of mine, right?
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And that was your hell.
Casey:
It was you and Ryan were the 2 people…
Jeff:
Sending you links…
Casey:
In my hell room, sending me animal links.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
I don’t know if that made it into the podcast or if we cut that or not.
Jeff:
I can’t remember.
Casey:
But now, we’ve refreshed the audience in case it was not in the podcast.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
So I figured it out, right.
Jeff:
Tell me.
Casey:
This is going to be what your hell is.
Jeff:
Portland…
Casey:
It is HempFest. It’s like you have to go…
Jeff:
Oh, yeah.
Casey:
To, like, this unwashed place…
Jeff:
But see, even HempFest…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Like, at least you get free weed, eventually there. This was like, all I could get is patchouli oil out of these people, right?
Casey:
Maybe. Yeah, okay. Right.
Jeff:
Like…
Casey:
Oh, sorry. It’s a music festival, then.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It’s Sasquatch, right. If you go to Sasquatch music festival, that’s your hell. It’s an eternity-long Sasquatch music festival…
Jeff:
What’s the shitty one they have here in the summer time?
Casey:
Bumbershoot?
Jeff:
Bumbershoot is my hell.
Casey:
Well, see. Now, this is the nice thing is that Penny Arcade scheduled PAX opposite Bumbershoot…
Jeff:
So I just kind of missed it.
Casey:
You totally got… You got saved by the competing conference.
Jeff:
I didn’t notice any…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Do you think there’s some crossover, some hippie gamer that’s like, “Fuck,” and can’t go to both?
Casey:
It’s possible.
Jeff:
And he’s like, taking a cab… Oh, what am I saying? He’s riding his fucking bicycle. Let’s not go cab. He’s riding his bicycle back and forth between the conference…
Casey:
Well, I don’t know. I mean… I highly doubt that. Anyone who wants to go to Bumbershoot for all 4 days and wants to go to PAX for all 3 days, I’m sure there are some people in the world who fit that but that Venn diagram crosses in a very, very…
Jeff:
Small…
Casey:
Narrow… What is that shape?
Jeff:
The little tiny…
Casey:
The intersection of…
Jeff:
2 ellipses?
Casey:
Is it called an annulus. Is it an annulus?
Jeff:
It’s that weird little cardioid things…
Casey:
I don’t know. I’m gonna say annulus but that’s probably wrong.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So the thing, whatever that is, the intersection of 2 circles, is very, very small because… I mean, if you’re someone who wants to, like, “Oh, yeah, I’m gonna play the indie tabletop game for 3 days straight,” versus, like, “I’m gonna go listen to the Red Hot Chili Peppers playing,” or whatever… That’s probably not the same.
Jeff:
So here’s one funny thing about PAX I saw is there were lots of people dressed up as video game characters and stuff like that. Do you remember that?
Casey:
Yeah, although considerably less than I might have guessed. It was fairly reserved on the sort of cosplay front.
Jeff:
Yeah. What I don’t get is there were some that were dressed up as early Halloween…
Casey:
What do you mean?
Jeff:
There was the dude that was dressed up like The Joker…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
No videogame tie-in. He’s just dressed up. He’s gonna go to PAX as The Joker. Oh, wait. I’ve got to tell the story of the awesome Joker that came down the escalator…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
When you had to hit the can and I’m waiting for you at the bottom of the escalator…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
This dude in a Joker… In bad Joker makeup, I might say… This wasn’t like… He didn’t do a good job.
Casey:
That’s kind of hard to define, right, ‘cos The Joker’s makeup is bad on purpose.
Jeff:
Yes. This was just applied heavily…
Casey:
So that means it was good makeup, I guess…
Jeff:
And he’d sweat so it kinda goes like this… He’s coming down the escalator and he’s demonstrably shuffling in his hands, Joker cards, and he’s like, “I’m king of the world, man.” He’s like… Gets to the very bottom of the escalator and loses the bridge, right…
Casey:
Oh, man.
Jeff:
And they go… All over.
Casey:
That sucks.
Jeff:
Right at the bottom of the thing. So he goes, “Oh, shit.” Now, The Joker’s a pretty scary character.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
In the movie but more so even in the comics. He’s a scary guy.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
I guarantee you, the joker never stopped at the bottom of the escalator and tried to scoop all his cards up…
Casey:
No, I’m sure he probably did not do that, yeah…
Jeff:
And other crazy, dressed-up people are going, “Dude, dude…” And they’re like, all big [inaudible 33:34]
Casey:
Oh, no. did he cause like a log jam?
Jeff:
Well, there were two guys that were, like, doing this backwards moonwalk while the escalator went under ‘cos they’re like, “Dude, dude, dude.” And then they ran into some people that couldn’t back up.
Casey:
Oh, no. Oh, God.
Jeff:
And it was just like… And he finally, like…
Casey:
Oh…
Jeff:
Like, totally lost his moj…
Casey:
I kinda feel bad.
Jeff:
I was laughing my ass off. Well, you came down not long after that…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And I was like, “Did you fucking see that?” And you’re like, “What? No.”
Casey:
No, I didn’t see it.
Jeff:
It was awesome. It was awesome. Bad Joker. Bad, bad joker.
Casey:
Well, I think that if the joker had spun his cards out of the air like that, he would just walk straight through them and keep going.
Jeff:
Yeah, of co--…
Casey:
Right? I’m assuming that’s kind of what the joker…
Jeff:
Even if that was, like, in some crazy universe where I thought it’d be awesome to dress up and go out in public like The Joker…
Casey:
What do you mean in some crazy universe? Of course, it’s awesome to dress up in crazy outfits and go out as The Joker as long as you’re willing to pull it off. I mean…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
The primary problem here was not that it’s not cool to dress as The Joker. I’m on board with that. The problem is you have to actually do the Joker thing, probably, to make that work, right?
Jeff:
Well, I would argue on the coolness side. But even then, yeah. You blow the bridge, cards go everywhere…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
You’re just like… You just walk like you’re fucking awesome.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Right? And everyone’s like, “Fuck, are these cards laced with, like, Smilex or something?”
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
No. You don’t pick them up. You don’t go, “Shit, these cost me a lot of money. My mom’s gonna kill me if I don’t come back with all 52 Joker cards.
Casey:
Now, can you buy a deck of all Joker cards or did this poor guy actually buy 52 decks of cards…
Jeff:
That would be awesome.
Casey:
Well, I guess you don’t need 52 because there’s 2 Jokers with a normal deck. So you’d only have to buy, like, 26… 26 decks of cards and he took the Jokers out of each one? I feel even worse now.
Jeff:
I imagine that you can probably go online and you can probably find, like… Yeah, Acme has the Joker deck for your…
Casey:
Yeah, it’s probably true. Just buy an Acme Joker deck. Yeah. Maybe it comes with the costume, too.
Jeff:
Yep. You know, there’s…
Casey:
You know, there was a really good Harley Quinn. Did you see her?
Jeff:
I did see a Harley Quinn with a Joker but she wasn’t very good so probably…
Casey:
There was a Harley Quinn who had, like, 100% neoprene… Well, not neoprene. Like, leather outfit that was exact.
Jeff:
Oh, okay.
Casey:
It had the thing that had all the checkerboard exactly right. [ And well… Exact… ] I know about as much about Harley Quinn as, you know…
Jeff:
She didn’t come from the comics.
Casey:
I don’t know who the fuck that even is, to be honest with you. But I just, like, remember you’ve…
Jeff:
She’s like The Joker’s girlfriend. “Mr. J! Mr. J!” She has this crazy kind of…
Casey:
Are you serious?
Jeff:
Oh, she was great. She came from the animated series…
Casey:
Oh.
Jeff:
And everyone loved her so much.
Casey:
They put her back in the comic?
Jeff:
[inaudible 36:06] and gave her her own comics and stuff and… She’s more serious, obviously, in the comics than she is there but she’s kind of comic relief in the animated series. And she’s terrific every single time. So…
Casey:
I see.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Alright. Well, then, I guess you did not see that Harley Quinn.
Jeff:
I did see one funny thing in Portland. There was this huge dude. He must’ve been 6 foot 8…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
300 pounds…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And I was approaching him and, you know, when there’s someone of that size… I remember my dad when I was a little kid. I was reasonably tall…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And my dad’s tall. It’s like… You know, here’s one funny thing is, like, when you’re a tall person, when you see someone taller than you, it’s kind of unusual…
Casey:
Yes, that’s correct.
Jeff:
They seem… You’re just not used to this scale, yeah.
Casey:
Really huge or weird… It’s like, “Why is there someone bigger?” Yeah.
Jeff:
Anyway, so he’s like 6’8”, maybe 300 pounds, just a huge human being.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
I’m very interested to see how you tie this to the Harley Quinn.
Casey:
This isn’t gonna tie-in. This is [ related ] to Portland.
Jeff:
Okay. I just remember the thing ‘cos of the voice. When I walked by him, he’s texting on his phone and he apparently read something that he liked ’cos he went, “Booya.”
Casey:
What?
Jeff:
He said like, “Booya!”
Casey:
Whoa.
Jeff:
But he did it in a really high voice like, “Booya!”
Casey:
Whoa.
Jeff:
It was…
Casey:
Okay, that’s awesome.
Jeff:
I just keep walking and trying not to laugh…
Casey:
That’s pretty cool…
Jeff:
And I kind of, like, snickered a little bit as I went past him…
Casey:
Well, ‘cos it is kind of funny.
Jeff:
It is… It was a very funny response. He must’ve got something good.
Casey:
Well, I was reading recently…
Jeff:
His band got a gig…
Casey:
My current book is a biography of Edward R. Murrow. And in it… I didn’t actually realize this before. I guess it’s really…
Jeff:
Did it smell like cigarettes?
Casey:
Yeah. And brandy. So, I didn’t actually know this previously because I guess I just missed this… I mean, I knew the phrase “Oh, the humanity” but I didn’t know what that comes from.
Jeff:
The Hindenburg?
Casey:
Yeah, I didn’t know that. And so, I was talking to my friend, Matt. And I’m like, “Yeah, I didn’t know that.” I was like, I didn’t know… He’s like, “Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah… I saw that video. It’s online, you know. You can go see ‘Oh, the humanity’.” It’s like, “Oh, that’s cool. I should go check that out sometime. I’ve never seen the Hindenburg… I didn’t even know they had videos. That’s pretty awesome. And he goes like, “Yeah, it’s kind of weird because, like, I watched it and I thought the dude had a really high voice then I find out it’s because of the tape transfers, the way that they do them or the way they recorded in those days, like, it didn’t…” Right?
Jeff:
I thought he’s just freaking out.
Casey:
Yeah. So apparently that’s not true. Like, he normally has a deeper voice but because of the rec--… I don’t know. This is just what Matt was telling me so since I’ve never seen the video, now in my head, like, the Hindenburg explosion has some dude going like, “Oh, the humanity! Oh, the humanity!” And it’s like, for some reason, I can’t shake… I’m gonna have to have to go watch the actual video to, like, put the horror back into me because now, it’s like comedy with some really high-pitched dude…
Jeff:
That’s awesome.
Casey:
Like, “Booya!”
Jeff:
“Booya!”
Casey:
Hindenburg.
Jeff:
He’s happy. “Booya!”
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. So I have to say now that I guess it’s been a long learning experience. But I can now say definitely that I understand hardcore pornography.
Jeff:
Oh, okay. Through lots of study?
Casey:
No.
Jeff:
Home study?
Casey:
No, because this is the problem…
Jeff:
Homeschooling?
Casey:
Is I never got that. Like, I just didn’t get it. I was like, “Oh, man…” It’s like watching a surgery video or something. It’s like, I don’t want to see anything. Like, I need this to be vague.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
You guys have to… You’re gonna have to cover that shit up for me if that’s okay, right. Move along, right. And so, it’s hard to empathize exactly. Like, I understand mentally, like, I can just put myself mentally into the vision and say, “Well, whatever…” You know, everyone has different things that get them excited.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So obviously, it is getting them excited but I don’t really… I can’t fully empathize with that until recently.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
’Cos I had my own experience that I feel like then… It put it all together in my head.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So now, I get it.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
So what happened is when I went over to? Dave Moore’s to barbecue…
Jeff:
Goddamn it, you’re getting them in trouble.
Casey:
No, I don’t think I am.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
I hope I’m not getting them in trouble.
Jeff:
Keep going.
Casey:
We’ll see if I get them in trouble or not.
Jeff:
Right now, the suspense that’s hanging in the air…
Casey:
Yeah…
Jeff:
Dave’s listening to this, going, “Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. . .”
Casey:
That’s a good point. He’s like, “What did I say? Shit.”
Jeff:
Yeah, I like this.
Casey:
No, he’s fine. He has nothing to worry about.
Jeff:
Don’t relieve the suspense.
Casey:
Oh. I meant, oh, here it comes, boys. So he told me… And I don’t remember how exactly this came up in conversation. I think it was because I was decrying the sort of general lack of attention to grammatical things in written communication.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And I think he… I think it was something to do with that. But anyway, he mentioned to me. He said, “There’s a Grammar Girl podcast.” And it’s a podcast where there’s, like, you know, this girl who does a different grammar topic every week, right, or every… I don’t know how long.
Jeff:
She’s, like… Yeah, she’s the “apostrophe S” hater and all that.
Casey:
I don’t know.
Jeff:
I have not listened to the podcast but I know…
Casey:
Yeah. Okay.
Jeff:
’Cos she’s kinda cute.
Casey:
So my mind immediately extrapolates this into the best possible scenario, right, which is like, super hot grammar podcast, right, ‘cos that sounds exactly like… Like, that is so up my alley, I can’t even tell you, right. Like, I am like, “This is gonna be awesome. I think I’m gonna be able to listen to these, like, late at night when I’m going to bed, you know, and it’s gonna be great like, this is gonna be super hot. It’s gonna be awesome.”
Jeff:
“I before E except after C.”
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. So the next day, right, I remember this. I’m like, “Oh, yah, I gotta check out that Grammar Girl podcast ‘cos it’s gonna be awesome.” And so I download the Grammar Girl podcast.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And I listen to it and it’s not hot at all. And I realized that the reason that it’s not hot… Well, there’s a couple reasons it’s not hot. I think just the base level, the girl is not hot, right…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Like, she’s not fast. Like, she’s not like… I was expecting, like, on top of it, sarcastic grammar stickler girl…
Jeff:
I see. Right.
Casey:
She’s not that, right.
Jeff:
Okay. That’s what you wanted.
Casey:
So there’s a little bit of that. It’s a little bit of a personality mismatch, right.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
She probably is more… Like, there’s other people who want that kind of a Grammar Girl and they’re getting that.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
But that’s not what I wanted so I’m a little bit underserved in that sense. But then, what I realized is really the problem with it is it’s soft core grammar porn.
Jeff:
Oh, okay. I see.
Casey:
Okay. She was not saying anything that I didn’t already know that’s not just a high school grammar class level grammar, right.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
So I was like I realized… Mentally, I was like… This is what it must be like. It’s like, somebody goes and rents a video that I would find totally hot and they’re like, “This is bullshit.”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
“Like, this doesn’t have anything in it that I want to see.”
Jeff:
Right, right, right.
Casey:
“Like, I was done with this when I was 17, man. I was just fucking… That’s nothing,” right?
Jeff:
Right. “Been there, done that.”
Casey:
Right. “Been there, done that.” And that is exactly the feeling that I was having [inaudible 43:09] So it’s like, I want hard core… I want explicit grammar podcast.
Jeff:
I see. “I want sentences diagrammed…”
Casey:
Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
Right. “I want them broken down, graphed…”
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Right?
Casey:
“I want you to be harsh with those sentences.”
Jeff:
“I want you to explain when I should use a semi-colon.”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Right? Like, that’s the kind of thing — Obscure stuff like… “I don’t need the colon.”
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
“I don’t need the comma. I want the semi-colon.”
Casey:
“Yeah, and I want historical references.”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
“I want to know about Old English. I want you to go through differences in dictionaries like, I want all that stuff.” It’s just a given, right? I want historical writer references, right. I want to be like, “Well, you know, Mark Twain would’ve said this, right, but…” I don’t know. See? This is my point. If I could say right now those things, then even that wouldn’t be hardcore enough. But if I’m not very literary… She should be able to blow me away, right?
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Like, I should come away from this just feeling like I’ve… Just totally drills… You see what I’m saying? Like, I should be feeling totally owned by this podcast and I was not…
Jeff:
So wait… So does that mean, like…
Casey:
There was a “Your versus You’re” podcast. If you cannot tell the difference between You’re versus You’re, okay, shut the podcast off, okay. That is [inaudible 44:30]
Jeff:
So wait, wait… It’s just like everything else. Right. Well, that’s like, you know, The Playboy. The “Your versus You’re” is like…
Casey:
Oh, it’s…
Jeff:
It’s just the soft stuff.
Casey:
It’s like Sports Illustrated, okay.
Jeff:
Right, okay. Sports Illustrated…
Casey:
“Your versus You’re” is like no one’s even taking their clothes off, okay. They’re pretty much clothed.
Jeff:
And it goes all the way to, like… Pretty soon, there’s Grammar Mistress who’s like…
Casey:
Right. Yes.
Jeff:
When you don’t say it right…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Like, she…
Casey:
That would be fabulous. Yeah. No, I want as hardcore grammar porn as you can get, right.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I want, like, girl on horse on midget equivalent grammar porn.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
You want to see something…
Casey:
As obscure and fucked up as you can get…
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
That’s what I want. And I will be into it. I will be your number 1 fan.
Jeff:
So GrammarSheista.com…
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. That’s right.
Jeff:
Is going you soon just to serve this case.
Casey:
Yes. If I could find that, boy, that would be awesome.
Jeff:
Do you want to talk about this… What does this say? “Walk Don’t Run”?
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Okay. What is this? Okay…
Casey:
So what I wanted to say about “Walk Don’t Run” was that apparently, there is a Cary Grant movie called “Walk Don’t Run” which is about the Olympics or something… I don’t know. I’m not a Cary Grant… You should ask Alicia. I’m sure she has the encyclopedic Cary Grant knowledge.
Jeff:
Oh, okay. I don’t think I’ve seen that one. I’ve seen a lot.
Casey:
I haven’t seen, hardly any. But in it, my friend Matt… Same time we were talking about the Hindenburg “Oh, the humanity” thing, he was saying… ‘Cos I had told him… This goes all along with the grammar fetish, obviously. I, for a while, decided to try to make sure even in conversation that I would never dangle a preposition, right.
Jeff:
Oh, okay.
Casey:
I always wanted to make sure that my prepositional phrase is completed.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
And it’s actually pretty tough to do. Even when I was doing… I got pretty good at it but I still, every now and again, will dangle one. And it’s a little bit tough to get them all, right, if you will.
Jeff:
But if you’re dangling in front of the Grammar Girl, it’s all good.
Casey:
Right. Yeah, exactly. ‘Cos then, she’ll spank me for that. It’ll be perfect. No. So what happened is he was telling me… ’Cos I had told him about that and he was telling me that in this movie, it had reminded him of our conversation because in it, Cary Grant says, “What girl ends a sentence with a preposition,” as a cut to the person who he’s with, who I’m sure they fall madly in love or whatever, as all the Cary Grant movies do. But my point is this is how far we’ve come, okay. In popular culture, in an entertainment comedy film…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right? In, like, 1950 or whatever… You could cut someone by suggesting that they incorrectly positioned a preposition, okay.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Now, we’re at the point where you’re lucky if the preposition is included in the sentence…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Let alone in the right place.
Jeff:
If you want to hear really good word play kinds of stuff…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
The old movies is what you want to go with because they’re so fast.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Like in Cary Grant’s the… Clark Gable…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
A lot of movies…
Casey:
I’ve heard the name…
Jeff:
A lot of movies and Katharine Hepburn and all those where they’re very… The word play is so fast, so vicious… I mean, it’s nasty.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Yeah, it blows you away. I mean, people say like… If you go to a play and the word was really good and stuff like that and, like, it’s nothing compared to how the movies were 30 years ago. They were so…
Casey:
Well, that’s ‘cos those were playwrights, right?
Jeff:
Yes. They went straight from there…
Casey:
I mean, they were writing the same… Yeah.
Jeff:
Right. Straight from there… But with movies, you get not only that but you get to edit the shit down so there’s no pauses…
Casey:
Right, that’s true. You can practice it a few times, too. You can do whatever you want, yeah.
Jeff:
And you can cut what you’re looking at and, like… Yeah, they were masters. ‘Cos you see some things now where they try that like… I mean, “Hudsucker Proxy” pulled it off for the most part. But she wasn’t quite as good as the rest of them.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And certainly, things like the football movie with George Clooney wanted to do that but it never got there, where they’re trying to do the screwball comedy thing and it just was a total failure. Anyway… But yeah, yeah. Seeing some of those old movies… Even things like “Bringing Up Baby”, which that movie kind of annoys me ‘cos Katharine Hepburn is so annoying.
Casey:
Yeah, well, I have a problem with…
Jeff:
They talking is so fast, like…
Casey:
To be honest with you, Cary Grant is such a terrible actor. It hurts me.
Jeff:
I really like Cary Grant. He’s just…
Casey:
It hurts me.
Jeff:
He just plays him.
Casey:
Yeah, he sure does.
Jeff:
But his little…
Casey:
He is the Kevin Costner of his day although at least he was a little bit faster with the dialogue.
Jeff:
Yeah. But, like, I don’t like when he says something directly. But when somebody says something to him and he says something, he’s kinda turning away…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Are just devastating. So… I think it’s closer to say that… Hugh Grant is way closer to Cary Grant where he can only play himself…
Casey:
And now, you’re saying that because his last name is Grant.
Jeff:
Yeah. But no, he can only play himself and he is funnier on the downbeat… Yeah, I like Cary Grant. There are some good ones. I don’t like him in serious movies ‘cos I don’t think he can pull that off. But in “Charade”, I think he’s…
Casey:
Is he in a lot of serious movies?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Oh.
Jeff:
Quite a few, actually. But “Charade” was really good. I liked that one. And that movie is total fluff.
Casey:
Oh, Cary Grant?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I thought you meant Hugh Grant.
Jeff:
Oh, I’m sorry.
Casey:
I’m like, “What serious movies has Hugh Grant been in?” I was like, “There’s probably one or two but, like…”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
God…
Jeff:
Yeah, it’s hard for me think…
Casey:
He’s in mostly comedy.
Jeff:
Yeah, or just that light stuff where he can be a little silly…
Casey:
Yeah. Right.
Jeff:
So, yeah… Anyway, where were we?
Casey:
I was just talking about girl who ends a sentence with a preposition.
Jeff:
I see. I see. Do you want to talk about this crazy fact that this lady killed herself before they powered up the… What is it.. The Large… How do you say that? Hadron?
Casey:
Don’t look at me. Hadron is how I would say it but I’m not sure how they say it.
Jeff:
Okay. Hadron Collider. She was so worried it was gonna destroy the world. She killed herself first.
Casey:
Doesn’t that seem like a bad way to manage that risk? That pretty much guarantees…
Jeff:
Yeah. That’s like, you know, turning the hose on in your basement ‘cos you think flood’s coming, right?
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
It doesn’t make any sense at all.
Casey:
Well, so here’s…
Jeff:
Like, if she was worried about the Hell Gate, maybe she just figured, “Once the pig demons emerge…”
Casey:
But can’t you just kill yourself when you see the pig demons coming?
Jeff:
I don’t know. Maybe… I don’t know. They got them mind rays, you know.
Casey:
Right. The pig demon mind rays.
Jeff:
Exactly.
Casey:
I don’t know if the Hell Gate has opened yet or not. I’m imagining that it has, probably, because that’s the only logical conclusion.
Jeff:
Well, they are looking for the Hell Gate particle, right?
Casey:
Yeah. Right. The magic Hell Gate particle.
Jeff:
Yeah, exactly.
Casey:
It’s like, “We know that there is a way to open the gates of hell…”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
“And we just haven’t found it yet.”
Jeff:
Does the fact that they’re going to destroy the world with the Hell Gate particle scare you more or less than the fact that Greek hackers were able to get one subnet away from the control computer for it? That freaked the shit out of me.
Casey:
I didn’t actually… ‘Til you told me that someone had hacked the Large Hadron Collider, I didn’t even know that that had happened.
Jeff:
Okay. So they didn’t… I was like, “What the fuck? Why is this on the inter--… Like, who needs to remote desktop into the Collider?” Right?
Casey:
Well, yeah. So… Yes.
Jeff:
And fuck up all the icons for the other researchers. Someone’s like, “Goddamn it. They’re all up in the corner, crushed in…”
Casey:
And it’s playing all kinds of weird music because the dude, like, had [inaudible 51:44] sounds at the local computer.
Jeff:
Seriously, why is that on the internet at all?
Casey:
Well, here’s the thing. I understand why one might get upset about the fact that it’s on the internet because, hey, people can hack into it and that’s bad. But there’s another thing that’s bad that that suggest which is under what circumstances is somebody running, like, the most expensive apparatus every built by mankind without your full attention? Like, who is running the Large Hadron Collider in a small little window, right, next to their cybersex chat or something, like, “Oh, hey, hold on a second, baby. I gotta go change the magnetic deflectors,” or something. It’s like…
Jeff:
“Ooh, that’s hot.”
Casey:
What is happening there? Yeah. If you are running the Large Hadron Collider, I want you sitting at the Large Hadron Collider…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Looking at the monitor with nothing on the screen except the controls.
Jeff:
Right. And I want industrial metal-looking desks where the keyboard’s built into the desk…
Casey:
And it should be like an Apple 2 so it looks like a movie. Yeah.
Jeff:
Yeah. It can’t have a movable keyboard. The keyboard’s gotta be built in the desk…
Casey:
Yes, big keys, big fat keys…
Jeff:
Right. Some of the keys are different color.
Casey:
They make a click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
But every 3rd attempt at a password succeeds.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
That’s gotta be built in.
Jeff:
That’s a…
Casey:
Because when someone needs… When the hero needs to shut off the Large Hadron Collider when the bad guys have taken it over, he’s gonna have to be able to get in somehow. So if you don’t have it automatically accept him after 3 tries, there’s gonna be problems.
Jeff:
I just think it’d be really depressing if Kevin Mitnick discovers the… And spells “Higgs Boson” with Z’s and E’s or what the thing is because he found it first.
Casey:
He found it so he’s allowed to name it.
Jeff:
And everyone has to go, “Well, this elite particle…”
Casey:
Yeah, exactly…
Jeff:
“Fuck,” like, pissed off…
Casey:
Yeah. Okay. You’re just on crack here because you think people are gonna be pissed off about something called elite particle when they named them charms, strange, beauty, like…
Jeff:
Yeah, what’s up with that? We need to talk to Ch--…
Casey:
Higgs Boson?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Like, if you name something a Higgs Boson, you have lost all ability to criticize someone else’s naming choices.
Jeff:
Yeah, that’s true.
Casey:
Okay. You are not in a position to criticize the elite particle if you’re calling anything a Boson…
Jeff:
That’s probably true. We need to talk to Charles about this ‘cos he was way into all of that before his programming days. And he can explain where these crazy names all came from.
Casey:
Maybe. But he was saying the other day… He was like, “Yeah, I can’t even read my…”
Jeff:
It’s all forgotten?
Casey:
“My old technical papers, I don’t even know what the fuck they say anymore.” And he wrote them. Like, he’s not talking about ones he read, right? They’re like, ones he wrote. He’s like, “I don’t remember that.”
Jeff:
Okay. So last week, I asked everyone to send in a funny story because I love stories. We got exactly one story, people. Oh, my God. Okay, I expect more stories but I’m gonna read the story we did get because it was awesome and Dave sent it in. And he had not told me this story before, which made it even sweeter. So… You have the email up, right?
Casey:
I do have the email up.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And I can read you the story now. “So in the summer of 1994, I was homeless for about 2 weeks. I was working a summer internship in the software development lab at Reed,” he’s referring to the college.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
“And it didn’t occur to me to check the date the dorms were locked against the date that the room I was renting for the summer opened up. Annoying, but I didn’t think it would be a huge problem. There was a couch in the D lab,” I don’t know what that stands for…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
“Which was in the sub-basement of the library.” Now, sub-basement is kind of one of those terms that I expect to see only in, like, an H.P. Lovecraft story.
Jeff:
Yeah that’s right.
Casey:
Right? It’s like, “Where is the demon…”
Jeff:
“He’s in the sub-basement.”
Casey:
And we’re drawing the chalk outline with the pentagram…
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
It’s like… It’s in the sub-basement. Apparently, this is a real thing and Dave Moore’s been in one. Apparently.
Jeff:
And slept there.
Casey:
I guess.
Jeff:
Yep, crashed in the sub-basement.
Casey:
Anyway, “There was a couch in the D lab which was in the sub-basement of the library. So I figured I would sleep there at night, moving the cushions under one of the lab counters so security wouldn’t spot me crashing in the building.”
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
“No, problem. I’m [inaudible 55:55] encoding, I’m there 24 hours a day anyway. That worked great until it became obvious that the second part of my plan (showering in the athletics center) wasn’t going to work.”
Jeff:
Oh, dear.
Casey:
“The day after everyone left for the summer, they brought in bulldozers and knocked down the building to build the new athletics center, ETA: several months.”
Jeff:
Awesome. So his clever plan…
Casey:
Foiled…
Jeff:
Of sleeping in the sub-basement….
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
And showering…
Casey:
In the athletics center was not going to work…
Jeff:
Not gonna work, right.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
It seemed so foolproof at first.
Casey:
Well, what was he gonna do? The poor guy had nowhere to go. “Still no problem. Now I’m just a smelly homeless guy. I thought, ‘2 weeks, no shower. Fine. I can deal.’ I made it about 5 or 6 days…”
Jeff:
Goddamn it.
Casey:
“Before I was willing to stab myself in the nose so I could stop smelling myself.”
Jeff:
You know, when you smell yourself, things have gone wrong. Horribly wrong. Oh…
Casey:
Now, day 5 or 6 is I think probably just cresting the normal hippie threshold.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Like, I mean, they’re usually, like, 10-20, right? Do they shower?
Jeff:
The hippies?
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
At day 5 or 6, you’re pushing Portland. We’ll call that “pushing Portland”.
Casey:
’Cos I feel like maybe at some point, hippies kind of develop this hippie crust, right? That makes it so the smell…
Jeff:
They no longer smell?
Casey:
No… Oh, they smell.
Jeff:
Okay. I thought it locks it in like…
Casey:
They no longer get any stinkier.
Jeff:
Oh, okay. I see.
Casey:
Right? So I think it’s not…
Jeff:
Like a sausage skin?
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
[ Made of smell material. ]
Casey:
Right, exactly. Yeah. Kind of like airtight pantaloons that they use for fart research.
Jeff:
Don’t. Stop it.
Casey:
So anyway, back to the story.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
“So, new genius plan: The college cleaning ladies are working their way through the dorms, cleaning out the filth and weed residue from the school year.”
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
“I’ll just pick a dorm 2 or 3 down from where they’re working *, sneak in to one of the bathrooms and get my clean on.”
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
“Calgon, take me away. That was the best shower I’ve ever had. Period.”
Jeff:
Was that shower in the… Sneaking in behind the people?
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
The problem was that it was also one of the longest showers I’ve ever had. Now, the star that he starred there was: “To truly visualize this part, you sort of have to know what Reed’s old dorm block building looks like. Just imagine that about 10% of the student body lives in a brick Habitrail built in the 1930’s.”
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Okay. “Of course, the cleaning crew caught up to me and correctly assumed, ‘Hey, there’s a bum showering in the dorms.’”
Jeff:
Damn it.
Casey:
“Campus cops called. Campus cops quietly wait outside bathroom until water turns off. I’d much rather eject a clean bum, too…”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
“And wait about 10 seconds. They then enter and immediately take a Polaroid, which I can only assume is intended to be mounted on the break room wall primarily as a trophy and only secondary as a ‘keep this guy off-campus’ notice. Best shower ever but not exactly the greatest photo — A confused look on my face and my junk hanging out of the towel.” Now, what I want to know is how did he get to see the Polaroid. Do the cops, like, let the thing expose, shake it, like, “Wait a second. Yeah, just wait…”
Jeff:
“It’s too early. Don’t shake it. It doesn’t make it faster.”
Casey:
Yeah. And they look at it and they’re like, “Dude, check it out. Your junk’s hanging out the towel. This is awesome. We’re gonna need a 3rd handcuff.” Okay. So, “After a long discussion with the head of campus security, he (probably just barely) decides that since I’m not a random idiot but an idiot employed by the college, that it would be more trouble than it’s worth to kick me off campus. Now, I’m back in the lab, trying to pretend that none of that ever happened. I didn’t wonder what happened to the Polaroid until 2 or 3 days later.”
Jeff:
Oh, dear.
Casey:
That’s it. He doesn’t finish the story.
Jeff:
That Polaroid is on Flickr, somewhere…
Casey:
And we need to find it.
Jeff:
Listeners… Yeah. If you see the Dave Moore Polaroid…
Casey:
Polaroid…
Jeff:
Do you think I’m gonna get totally murdered by some Portland-phile?
Casey:
I don’t know. I thought the things you were saying were ridiculous.
Jeff:
Oh, my God.
Casey:
I like Portland. I’ve liked Portland every time I’ve been there. I think it’s a great place. I mean, I don’t know that I’d want to live there because I haven’t really experienced it directly enough to know, like, the neighborhoods well enough or to walk around. But, I mean, I like everything about it. I thought Hawthorne Street was great. I love Powell’s. There’s a great Vietnamese restaurant there that I ate at. There’s…
Jeff:
You know, I’ve been to Powell’s a lot of times and I never got the love from Powell’s.
Casey:
I like the Technical Bookstore mostly.
Jeff:
Yeah. I have a good Technical Bookstore story. Let me tell you the story.
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
So, John and I are down there.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And he’s looking at some stuff. And this hot chick comes by and she picks up, like, “Programming a 6502”.
Casey:
Oh, wow.
Jeff:
Holy fuck. She proceeded…
Casey:
So fill me in here ‘cos that’s before my time. 6502… Is that like a Commodore 64? Or the Apple 2?
Jeff:
Yeah. It was an Apple 2, the 64, and the Atari 800. It was [inaudible 61:05]
Casey:
Oh, really? So it was all… Okay.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
So it’s not “is it the Commodore 64 or the Apple 2”, it’s both.
Jeff:
Right. It’s a little faster than the Apple 2 but, yeah…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
So he’s like, “Holy shit.” She proceeds to pick up John’s dream set of books, like, electrical engineering books…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Other… And John’s like… He is following her like, “This… This is awesome.”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
She’s going up to get in line. And then right at the line…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
She takes a turn, goes behind the counter, hands the books to this, like, 500-pound sweaty dude in some black t-shirt…
Casey:
Yeah, awesome.
Jeff:
And John was like, “Ooohhh…”
Casey:
Yes. He thought that it was a match made in heaven but it turns out that unless he was gonna date the 500-pound dude… That is probably a situation not unlike some people’s online dating experiences.
Jeff:
That’s probably true. Oh, my goodness.
Casey:
Just kind of in person, if you will.
Jeff:
But yeah, I don’t get the Powell’s thing in general because it’s just a bookstore. But people just love it. And I’m like… I don’t know. It doesn’t do it for me.
Casey:
Well, I like the Technical Bookstore. I mean, they have a lot of technical books. That’s fine.
Jeff:
Yes. But even that’s not a huge…
Casey:
Well, you have to understand, though, to some degree, it’s a little bit of an anachronistic love. Like, yes, today you can go online and get any kind of book you want. That was not always the case. And so people, especially people like me, remember it fondly from the days when you could go there and get C books you didn’t even know existed because there was no real [inaudible 62:41] Yes, in the future, there probably won’t be bookstores because there won’t be a need for them. So yes, obviously, the whole concept of a bookstore that carries a number of technical books is on its way out just as the concept of a bookstore that carries a number of regular books is on its way out. But for the time being, I think it occupied a certain kind of romantic notion.
Jeff:
Well, it’s a destination. It’s packed. It’s always packed in there.
Casey:
Yeah. Well…
Jeff:
The thing…
Casey:
It’s gonna be one of the last bookstores on earth, I’m sure, right. And when everyone else has closed up, they’ll still be Powell’s and eventually go out of business and it’ll be sad and whatever. But yeah, it will… Because it is definitely… All the people who have that fond memory of it have to die before it’s really gonna go under.
Jeff:
I did notice two things. One is when you walk into Powell’s, you smell that newsprint because a lot of their books are older and stuff.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So it feels that there is something weird there.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
That’s… I don’t know. Almost a good feeling. Another thing is you’re thinking like, “Wow, what an incredible waste of bits all this is,” because now that I’m on the scan brigade…
Casey:
Right. Yep.
Jeff:
I just look at this and go, “I just need to get a scanner here…”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
“And my book de-binder and go to town.”
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. Like, “I could scan all this shit.”
Jeff:
Alright, everybody. Give us an email — Podcast@MollyRocket.com. I want more stories…
Casey:
You keep saying Podcast@MollyRocket.com. We have a vanity domain name.
Jeff:
Oh, yeah. That’s right.
Casey:
Podcast@JeffAndCaseyShow.com.
Jeff:
Yes. And send us some stories. I loved Dave’s story. We need to hear more.
Casey:
Dave’s story was very funny.
Jeff:
They don’t have to be personally embarrassing and they don’t have to be about you. Just tell me a story. I like them. Alright, everybody. Hang in there and we will see you next week.
Casey:
Sounds good. Take it easy.
Jeff:
Yep.
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casey muratori
the jeff and casey show - season 1 - episode 31
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