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Bio
The Technician
No Imperfections Noted
The Jeff and Casey Show
Jeff and Casey Time
Casey Muratori
Seattle, WA
Getting Used to Disappointment
"Who the fuck is Hannah Montana?"
Original air date: June 8th, 2008
Topics. Porn ads. Algorithm sale classes. Advice. Is porn evil? The list. Porn actors, not porn producers. Tull. Fixing Google Checkout. The Grammys. The sacrowedgy. Ohako. Catholic aliens. Google Apps. Musical analysis.
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Transcript
Jeff:
Alright. Hey. Welcome, everybody, to the Jeff & Casey Show.
Casey:
Hello, hello. Welcome. And welcome to you. And welcome to the Jeff & Casey Show.
Jeff:
You sound a little bit like…
Casey:
I was doing Zombo. Remember Zombocom?
Jeff:
Yeah, that’s what it sounded like.
Casey:
I wonder if Zombocom is still up. Do you think it is?
Jeff:
Welcome…
Casey:
Welcome…
Jeff:
To Zombocom.
Casey:
To Zombocom.
Jeff:
Yes, that was good action.
Casey:
I loved that site. I used to put that up now and again just to hear it.
Jeff:
Me, too, actually.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
That was good action.
Casey:
So how are you doing today, Jeffrey?
Jeff:
It’s hot. Got the fan going.
Casey:
It’s always hot here in the summer.
Jeff:
Podcast studios. We might have to make it a mobile studio.
Casey:
Yeah. I’ve got a little portable Mp3 player. I mean, a recorder. It’s good.
Jeff:
Yeah, but… We have to do. . . We need the good quality. . . We need the good quality. . .
Casey:
It’s very high quality. It’s just the problem is recording without specific mics can be harder.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Although it actually does have inputs for external mics. So we could do that. . .
Jeff:
Oh, I see.
Casey:
But I don’t know. Like, you don’t want to. . . If you wanna be mobile, you don’t want to lug these big old things around anyway but. . .
Jeff:
We should go to a public place, set up with a little folding table and say, “Hey, it’s the Jeff & Casey Show here down in...”
Casey:
You know what I’ve always wanted to do? And this may just be me assuming that things will work out better than they will but I’m not sure which is that a lot of times, I find that it is interesting to get into discussions with people about their personal problems for a little bit, right?
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
I find this fascinating sometimes.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
So what I. . .
Jeff:
I don’t.
Casey:
I wouldn’t want to do it every day, right, but I find that it’s an interesting breather, talking to people about how their life is going and sort of what their outlook is on it and stuff, right? Just for a little bit, it’s interesting to me.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Now, what I wanted to do was get a little kiosk, like as low rent as possible, right?
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
And put up a little sign that says, “Advice — 5 cents”, like in the old Peanuts cartoons. . .
Jeff:
Lucy style? Did you call it “penises”?
Casey:
I did say “penis”. In the old “penis” cartoons. . .
Jeff:
Oh. . . Stop it.
Casey:
In the old Peanuts cartoons. . . And just see if anyone would put a nickel in and say, “I’m having trouble with my girlfriend (or my boyfriend), they’re doing bla,” or, “My roommate’s bugging me. What do you think I should do?” I think that will be so interesting to me for a day to just do that.
Jeff:
To stand out there and do it?
Casey:
To see if anyone goes for it, right?
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
I don’t think it should be free. You have to pay. There is a nominal charge just to make sure that you’re serious about it, you know?
Jeff:
I see. Uh-huh.
Casey:
You’re not just gonna sit there and bullshit with me. Like, you’re gonna really commit to asking for some advice.
Jeff:
I see. To explore your issues?
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
“Tell me about. . .”
Casey:
Now, I have no qualifications for giving this advice. But then again, I simply say it’s advice.
Jeff:
It’s only 5 cents. Yes.
Casey:
I did not say it’s good advice.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
I did not say it’s well-informed advice. It’s just advice.
Jeff:
Well, didn’t her sign say, “Psychiatric Help”? Yours would have to say just “help” or something.
Casey:
I think I will stick with “advice”.
Jeff:
“Advice”? Alright. Yeah, I don’t like the humans so I don’t want to go among them. If I could make a tunnel from the office. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
To my house. . .
Casey:
Well, I’ve often wondered why you don’t have. . . Like, I know people who have had (like Flynn). . . Who have their office and their place of employment are adjoining. . .
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
And yet, you do not. Why is that?
Jeff:
Yeah. I’d never. . . I have done that before. If I need to go really, like, get something done, when I can’t be bothered, I’ll go work at home.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
But yeah, for the most part, I don’t. I’m always here anyway.
Casey:
So it doesn’t matter to you?
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
But you don’t put a cot in here, for example.
Jeff:
No, I’ll just. . .
Casey:
And you have not had them install a shower which you could do.
Jeff:
Yes. A shower would be kind of nice ‘cos then most people could bike in. Not for me because then, if I had to walk or bicycle or something, there is the off-chance of an encounter and the humans. . .
Casey:
Jesus, you and these humans. . .
Jeff:
Whereas if you’re in the car, you need the windows up, the air conditioner on. . . No, I have bad. . . I have always. . . Things happen when I interact with the humans and I don’t like it.
Casey:
Okay. Nothing weirder than what happens to me when I interact with humans can be happening to you.
Jeff:
You enjoy it. . .
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
I don’t.
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
I don’t. Yes.
Casey:
Fine. Fine.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
I have to tell you before. . . I know you’ve got a little list there of things you want to talk about but I have to [ then suggest ]. . .
Jeff:
We never. . . The list doesn’t. . .
Casey:
I know we never get to it.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It’s funny that we bother to plan the podcast when we don’t use the planning. Why do we bother with the planning?
Jeff:
We should do one where we don’t say anything and then have half an hour dead air in the middle where we’re like, “Hmmm. . .”
Casey:
But that doesn’t happen.
Jeff:
No. But what if it did. It’d be. . .
Casey:
Then we’d just fix it in post.
Jeff:
No, I. . .
Casey:
Then we go make the list and re-record it, right?
Jeff:
Okay. Yeah. I think it would be. . .
Casey:
But right now, we’re making the list and not using the list.
Jeff:
No, this is good because, you know, you have those experimental rock albums where they have complete. . . Like the. . .
Casey:
Oh, you’re saying this is like Jazz, right?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It’s like, “This is ‘Norwegian Wood’, ostensibly. . .”
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
“But it’s highly extemporized. . .”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
“For your listening pleasure,” right?
Jeff:
And then, we go get a burger and then come back in 20 minutes. We’re like, “You still there?”
Casey:
It’s [ out jazz ].
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
So actually, I guess that’s true. There are symphonies that are basically just silence for a while, right?
Jeff:
Yeah. Or that one Nirvana song. . .
Casey:
Or one continues note. . .
Jeff:
The 12th track on that Nirvana album. . .
Casey:
I don’t know what you were talking about.
Jeff:
There’s one track that’s. . . The album’s, like 70 minutes. And there’s only 50 minutes of music. You’re like, “What happened?” And the 12th track has a song and it has 12 minutes of silence or something like that. . .
Casey:
Great.
Jeff:
And then the rest of the song.
Casey:
Awesome. That’s what those silent. . . Remove silence things are for on the Mp3. . . Encoders I guess to cut out the 12 minutes of shit.
Jeff:
Prince had that annoying thing where he felt his. . . I can’t remember which album it was. Maybe sign of the times where it was supposed to be one long track.
Casey:
Like [inaudible 6:07]
Jeff:
But he bowed to pressure of putting track points into the different songs. But he didn’t put. . . Like, usually, there’s a sector of silence in between each one of those. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And he did. . . They all literally ran together in that. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And then some. . . Not Mp3. . . It was way before Mp3 but some CD things had a problem with that. They would. . .
Casey:
They did?
Jeff:
Yeah. They’d skip the first track after a. . .
Casey:
Whoa. . .
Jeff:
After a track skip because there was always silence. . .
Casey:
Really?
Jeff:
They’d start at the next one. So if you just played through, there’d be like. . . Every time it hit the track point, it skipped the next thing.
Casey:
Weird. I didn’t know that.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Now, I know. . . I mean, obviously, there had been CD’s. . . Like I was mentioning, like “Passion Play”, for example, which is just one track, right?
Jeff:
I see. I don’t know what “Passion Play” is. . .
Casey:
Jethro Tull.
Jeff:
Oh, yikes.
Casey:
That’s a good album.
Jeff:
Jethro Tull is the worst. . . Do you remember when they went. . .
Casey:
Oh, fuck you and your Tull hating attitude.
Jeff:
Yeah, good luck with the power flute. No, you remember the. . .
Casey:
That is a bit odd. I will give you the fact that it is odd to think that you’re hard rocking with a flute.
Jeff:
Do you remember the year that. . . I think this was the one that forced the Grammy’s to re-setup their voting?
Casey:
Huh? No. What are you talking about?
Jeff:
It was in ‘95. . .
Casey:
Okay. What does that have to do with Jethro Tull?
Jeff:
Wait. Metallica. . .
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Had the album. . .
Casey:
“Enter Sandman”?
Jeff:
Yeah, it was the one with “Enter Sandman” but I. . . That wasn’t. . . It was just named “Metallica” I think was the name of the album.
Casey:
No, I think it actually had a name.
Jeff:
It’s the one that was all black.
Casey:
Yeah. . .
Jeff:
Anyway, they were the ones. . .
Casey:
I know what you’re talking about but I can’t remember.
Jeff:
They were the ones that were like, “Oh, hey, Heavy Metal, that isn’t a hair band, all this, like they’re. . .” You know, whatever. . . They introduced the Heavy Metal category that year. . .
Casey:
Uh-huh.
Jeff:
And Jethro Tull had had an album out that year. They still make albums. . .
Casey:
Yeah, sure but. . .
Jeff:
[ And one. . . ]
Casey:
What?
Jeff:
Yeah. [ And one. . . ] And so over. . . And so, the Metallica dude’s like. . .
Casey:
Jethro Tull has never, to my knowledge, been considered Heavy Metal by anyone.
Jeff:
Well, apparently the Grammy voters. . . And then the next year, they said, “Alright. . .”
Casey:
I mean, even original Jethro Tull that was pretty hard. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Was not Heavy Metal. . .
Jeff:
Well. . .
Casey:
It was just Classic Rock.
Jeff:
Yeah, they. . .
Casey:
It wasn’t. . .
Jeff:
They fucked that one up. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And then, the next year, I believe the Hip Hop. . . Somebody. . . I can’t remember who won the Hip Hop one. . .
Casey:
Elton John. . .
Jeff:
It was ridiculous.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
And then they’re like, “Okay, we need to have voters that are educated.” Like, “You do? Oh, that’s probably a good idea.”
Casey:
Yeah. Well, okay, the thing is, though, with music, I have to say. . . Giving out music awards is just stupid.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Give out a music award to the person who sells the most copies. That’s about the only thing you can measure because, like. . . I mean, what are you gonna judge it on? What objective criteria could you possibly use to judge. It’s just so subjective. There isn’t craftsmanship, really. Occasionally, you can. . . For certain genres of music. . .
Jeff:
You could have Producer of the Year. . . You could say Producer of the Year.
Casey:
You could have Producer of the Year.
Jeff:
Because that. . .
Casey:
You could have categories for, like, sort of virtuoso performance on a particular instrument that is somewhat objective like, “Wow, that’s a really technically difficult piece to play. . .”
Jeff:
On the flute?
Casey:
Yeah. But beyond that, what are you judging here? There’s millions of songs released every year and it’s so subjective. I mean, what are you saying?
Jeff:
Aqualung, baby. . .
Casey:
You know?
Jeff:
That’s what I’m saying. Okay, so. . .
Casey:
“Sitting on a park bench. . .” That’s so excellent because that segue’s perfectly. You have set me up. . .
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Without your knowledge, into the thing that I wanted to say before the podcast gets started. And that is. . .
Jeff:
10 minutes into it. . .
Casey:
There was a lost word. A word. . . I like vocabulary, okay.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
I like to learn new words and then use them. I feel like on this podcast, maybe I even used [inaudible 9:53] once, which is one of my favourite obscure words.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
Right? But I have lots of little words that I like like that and I feel like if I had more time. . . Like, let’s say that I did not appreciate technical things and spend all my time working on technical things for a living, I would definitely be one of those people who writes the really long, flowery, ridiculous letters to the editor or something in the New Yorker magazine because I would spend all my time learning words.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
Just stupid words. You don’t need to know these things. There’s no bonus to it. I just like knowing that, “Oh, I can use this one word that uses. . .” That’s like, you know, has all these other meaning wrapped up in it. . . I like that.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
Anyway. . .
Jeff:
You’re an etymologist, right? You’ve got to get it or you’re. . .
Casey:
Or you look at bugs.
Jeff:
Right. You get it wrong. . . I think “et” is the bugs and I think. . .
Casey:
“Etomology” is word origin.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
“Entomology” is bug research, I believe. But that’s not the study of words. It’s the study of word origins, I think.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So I don’t think it’s appropriate to say. . .
Jeff:
You don’t give shit about that?
Casey:
No, I couldn’t care less. No, that’s not true. Sometimes I do want to know, like, “Oh, wait. Why is this word like it is? It looks like it’s part of another word but it’s not. . .”
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
And so, you can go back and see. . . So I do. . . Like, word history is somewhat interesting to me but that’s not what I was talking about. I’m talking about just vocabulary. I would like to have a larger vocabulary than I do. Let’s put it that way, okay.
Jeff:
I think you should be one of those guys that go around correcting everybody when they mispronounce things because. . . You don’t go to the. . . You don’t. . .
Casey:
You’re talking about Chris Hecker?
Jeff:
Is that what he does?
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
Okay. I didn’t know. . . I didn’t have an example in mind but. . .
Casey:
I don’t know if he’s necessarily the corrector like you’re saying but it is of utmost important in his mind, it seems, to understand how you should pronounce words.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Like, if somebody was saying [inaudible 11:43] around him, it would probably piss him off, right?
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And I even remember that Tom is also. . . Tom and him had issues, right, about who is pronouncing [ Oiler ] correctly. Is it [inaudible 11:53] or [inaudible 11:54]
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right, I don’t know.
Jeff:
And Tom, yeah. . . Tom actually. . .
Casey:
Anyway. . .
Jeff:
Is convinced.
Casey:
Chris is very [inaudible 11:59] So if Tom, for example, presented convincing etymological evidence to Chris that the correct pronunciation of [ Oiler’s ] name is [inaudible 12:13], Chris would then feel it was important to switch.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
He want s to know the correct way. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
To pronounce these words. And he does not consider it acceptable to simply say whatever you want. That’s. . . I may be speaking for him here. He should come on the podcast some time. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And he can say it better than I can. But I feel like that’s at least. . . When I was close friends with him back. . . You know. . . Now, he lives in California. I don’t see him that often. But back when we hung out more often, I feel like. . .
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
That was the case.
Jeff:
So how do you say “paediatrician”? Do you say “paediatrician”?
Casey:
I think that’s how you say it, yeah.
Jeff:
And do you say paedophile or paedophile?
Casey:
I would say paedophile ‘cos that’s how I’ve heard it said.
Jeff:
Okay. But it’s the same origin, right? We should use the same pronunciation for both if you are hard core?
Casey:
Maybe. I don’t think that’s how. . . That’s not how the English language works, though.
Jeff:
When I. . .
Casey:
The origin of the word does not imply its pronunciation in English, really.
Jeff:
I’m just saying I like to call my paedophile friends paeds so. . .
Casey:
You have a lot of them, do you?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
At the [ NAMLA ] meeting?
Jeff:
[ NAMLA ] that’s right.
Casey:
I see. So there was a lost word, sexual deviancy aside, apparently. There is a word that was so wonderful that I was, like, this. . .
Jeff:
Holy shit. What was that?
Casey:
That was a text message.
Jeff:
Holy shit. That was a pretty flowery. . .
Casey:
Do you like that noise.
Jeff:
Yeah, that is very happy.
Casey:
It’s a breath of fresh air.
Jeff:
Wow. Why does it keep doing it? It’s shitting the bed.
Casey:
It’s another text message.
Jeff:
You got two in that?
Casey:
Do you want me to turn it off?
Jeff:
No, I kinda like it.
Casey:
You liked the noise?
Jeff:
It punctuates your sentences.
Casey:
Alright. Okay.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
That’s fine.
Jeff:
Keep going.
Casey:
Keep it on. . . There was a word that was so good that I was like, “I need to use this word. I love this word.”
Jeff:
Tell us the word.
Casey:
It’s a Japanese word.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
That I feel like you can import into English because the contextual situation in which it is used was also already imported from Japan itself.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
And its name is, too, which is karaoke or kara-oke, if you will, since I don’t think that’s how they would pronounce it.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
So the Chris Hecker in me says karaoke is probably not what they say but in English, karaoke.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
So when you go to karaoke. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And you’re gonna say, “I don’t like to karaoke,” or something but I know that you do because Alicia told me that you got aggravated at people not performing a song correctly. . .
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
And you showed them how it was done.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
So. . .
Jeff:
God damn it. Why does it keep ringing?
Casey:
’Cos I’ve got lots of text messages coming in.
Jeff:
Apparently. You’re very popular this afternoon.
Casey:
What can I say?
Jeff:
Alright. Alright. . . So, where. . . I totally lost track.
Casey:
See, I should turn it off but you don’t want me to.
Jeff:
Yeah, I don’t. . . It’s really nice.
Casey:
You want the sound. Can the listeners at home even hear that? Is it close enough to the mic.
Jeff:
I don’t know. My phone went off once and you couldn’t even hear it but let’s just say it’s the floweriest little sound. It makes you feel warm all over.
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
Alright, keep going.
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
What were we talking about?
Casey:
Karaoke and you performing.
Jeff:
Yes, I did do. . . They were singing Nirvana wrong and I fixed it.
Casey:
What does that mean that they were “singing it wrong”?
Jeff:
Well, they were just singing it. . . They didn’t know the song. And I know Nirvana. . .
Casey:
Okay, so they didn’t even know the lyrics right, to begin with?
Jeff:
They were reading the lyrics. . .
Casey:
Oh, okay.
Jeff:
And they were just kind of reading. I’m like, “No, no, no. He doesn’t say it like. . . I know those songs by heart. . .”
Casey:
By heart? I see.
Jeff:
So my only way. . .
Casey:
What song was it?
Jeff:
My favourite, “Heart-Shaped Box”.
Casey:
And you sing this song in karaoke?
Jeff:
I can do. . .
Casey:
How was your performance?
Jeff:
I can do. . . I don’t sing but I can do. . . Damn it. Okay, that’s too many. Turn it off. How do you get so many without. . . You’re not replying. Is this just like, “Dude.” “Dude.” “Dude.” Are they trying to get your attention?
Casey:
No. No, it’s just because text messages, for whatever reason, have to be broken up into 160 characters to fit the old format, I think.
Jeff:
Oh, so you’re getting a whole bunch of. . .
Casey:
If someone is typing a bunch of stuff to me, then it’ll come through as multiple. . .
Jeff:
Very strange.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Okay. Again, I’m lost. . .
Casey:
I see you’ve been unnerved by this.
Jeff:
I have been. I don’t know where I was.
Casey:
Yeah. You told me it was okay. . .
Jeff:
Yes. . .
Casey:
To have the text messages happen in the podcast. You were like. . .
Jeff:
’Cos I liked it.
Casey:
You liked the sound but it overwhelmed you.
Jeff:
Yeah, there’s too many. Too much.
Casey:
I told you there would be. You didn’t think there was gonna be. I was like, “We can’t leave this on. . .”
Jeff:
You must have text messages, like, 7/24 then.
Casey:
It depends.
Jeff:
Wow. Yeah, no. I don’t have a terrific singing voice but I’m okay at impersonating people.
Casey:
I see.
Jeff:
So I didn’t sing like Kurt Cobain. I just tried to sound like as he does in the thing.
Casey:
And how did you do?
Jeff:
I’m okay.
Casey:
You’re okay?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Alright. Then this word is of particular interest to you.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
The word is “okaho”.
Jeff:
Okay. “Ohaku”.
Casey:
“Ohako”. Not “ohaku”, “ohako”.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
Okay. And it means your strongest karaoke song.
Jeff:
Awesome. So you have a favourite that you, like, whip out when you need to close. . .
Casey:
If you’re trying to impress somebody. . .
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
With your karaoke skills, this is the song that you go to. It is your “ohako”.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Okay?
Jeff:
In America, isn’t, like. . . You don’t. . . There’s, like, “I Will Survive”. . . Like, if you go to karaoke night, you hear a few songs over and over and over. . .
Casey:
But that’s not the same thing, right?
Jeff:
But it’s all their “ohako’s”?
Casey:
It depends, right? If they’re giving it a much stronger performance of that song than they do of another song. . .
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Then it is. But if it’s just something they like to do, that’s not the same thing. I don’t believe that the connotation is about enjoyment. It’s about how good you are at performing it.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
It’s your strongest song, not your favourite song. You may actually like to do karaoke for a different song better.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
But you are not as good at that song.
Jeff:
I understand.
Casey:
Right? I know you love to do Barbara Streisand, “Wind Beneath My Wings” but you’re not good at it, see?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So the Nirvana song is your “ohako”.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Right? See what I’m saying?
Jeff:
“People who love people. . .”
Casey:
So anyway, I’d forgotten this word. When I went to Japan, I was told this word. . .
Jeff:
That’s a good word.
Casey:
When I was doing karaoke.
Jeff:
I like it as just anything. Like, this is the thing you’re strongest at, in that context?
Casey:
And that’s actually. . . That is kind of what it means. It comes from kabuki theatre. The end of the story is I had to ask Yukari what it was. ‘Cos I asked [ Statman ] and he didn’t know, right.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
He had no idea what I was talking about. I was like, “Let’s find out from. . .”
Jeff:
He hung you out to dry.
Casey:
“Yukari ‘cos he’s actually Japanese. . .”
Jeff:
Uh-huh. . .
Casey:
And she’ll know. So she said that it actually comes from Kabuki theatre, I guess.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
It’s an old word that’s been re-appropriated for karaoke.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So you should be able to re-appropriate for something else like “what’s your strongest algorithm”, you know?
Jeff:
Right, exactly.
Casey:
It’s like, “Oh, I rock the Lempel-Ziv.”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
You know?
Jeff:
But if you’re like, “Oh, man, I totally worked the bubble sort,” you’re like. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
“Yeah, but the bubble sort’s pretty bad still. So like. . .”
Casey:
It’s not, though. I thought you were. . . You forwarded me something where the dude was like, “I can bubble sort the fuck out of this stuff,” right. . .
Jeff:
No. . .
Casey:
He was, like, the bubble sort machine.
Jeff:
It was the shell sort, I think, it was. That’s what it was.
Casey:
Oh, okay. It was a really simple sort that they, like. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Were like, “If you just pick the numbers right, it’s actually as good as anything else.”
Jeff:
Well, that’s. . . The shell sort is kind of a bubble with better choices for the things that you’re comparing.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Yeah. So you can. . . I mean there’s. . . Having a different. . . All the sorts, actually. . .
Casey:
Are the same thing on some level?
Jeff:
They’re very similar on how they work if you’re looking at them. . . Like, you can. . . There’s not. . . The way they’re described especially when you’re learning them is they’re these plots on a graph that are islands away from each other.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
But you can actually, like most things, like. . .
Casey:
Oh, a small change produces another algorithm kind of a thing?
Jeff:
If you look at it the right way. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
You can move from one to the other, Indian Jones-style on the map really quickly. Yes. Same thing with compression. It feels like there’s lots of compression. . . See, this doesn’t work. This is not your strong song.
Casey:
Sorry.
Jeff:
Stop it. But yeah. . .
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
Anyway. . . That means we’re ready to start the podcast proper and we’re 20 minutes in. Awesome.
Casey:
That’s a good point. Nothing I just said was supposed to be on the list.
Jeff:
Nope, not a single thing. You wanted to talk about Google Apps for domains which I used for RAD and I liked it.
Casey:
I did want to talk about it. I call it. . . You know I can’t call anything by its actual name.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So I call it Google crApps on my domain.
Jeff:
Yes, I remember when you. . .
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
I think you came up with that when I was sitting there. . .
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
And you were like, “This is perfect. This is awesome.”
Casey:
I know. But despite the fact that I call it Google crApps on my domain, right, which is. . . This is. . . I used to call my ThinkPad the StinkPad. But I loved that machine. It was great. The StinkPad T41 was a great machine.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
You know? So it doesn’t imply that it’s bad. I just have to substitute it.
Jeff:
I see. You had to.
Casey:
We talked about this. This is the business that I want to start.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So I actually. . . You know we talked about Google in the past.
Jeff:
Uh-huh.
Casey:
And I think. . . Like I said, you were the one who kind of first said to me like, “Why do they have such a good reputation?” I don’t know.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
So their company was not very high up in my estimation. And there was even a thread on the forums where I was bashing them for, like, the fact that they make all their money from ads. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Which is sleazy business.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Ads are a really bad part of our society today.
Jeff:
They’re not. . .
Casey:
And I think people minimize the impact that ads have on the deterioration of everything, really. . .
Jeff:
Yeah, it’s not free. It is not free.
Casey:
It is not free.
Jeff:
It is very expensive.
Casey:
There is no such thing in capitalism as free.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So if you’re getting something that you said is free, you’re paying for it somehow.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So you have to go look and find out how you’re paying for it, right? You’re paying for it by you’re buying some other shit.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Right? It just comes out somewhere else. Your behaviour has been changed.
Jeff:
Or you’re fucking up your kids. . .
Casey:
Exa--. . . Whatever. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Anyway, point being, Google (with Google crApps on my domain) actually went several points up on my estimation of their company as a whole because they have a feature on there where you can subscribe for $50 a year. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Which is pretty cheap. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
For anything, really, for a service. . . And you can use all of their services without ads.
Jeff:
Oh, okay. So that’s not. . .
Casey:
Which is awesome. I was like, “I have no end of respect for a company whose business is based on ads who goes, “You know what, we’re going to let people pay for this service if that’s the way that they think the economics should work.”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And I’m like, “That is awesome. You are awesome. Thank you.”
Jeff:
They do keep that kind of quiet because you have to. . . You can’t just do that on a normal Google account. You have to set those up as a special log-in and all that. But it’s nice to have.
Casey:
Well, I don’t know. You know, maybe they will do that, though, right?
Jeff:
Eventually. . .
Casey:
You know, because this is a new thing. That was not true. . .
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
You know, until recently, I guess. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Because Google Apps domain, when it was invaded, there was no pay version of it.
Jeff:
I would be very surprised if they do that long-term because their valuation comes from not being a tech company but being an advertising company because there’s so much money in advertising. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So if everybody could pay 50 bucks, that ain’t gonna be nearly enough to keep that money. . .
Casey:
Well, yeah, I don’t know. . .
Jeff:
But anyway. . .
Casey:
If they turn off the service, I will be a sad person and they’ll drop right back down to the shitter in my brain. . .
Jeff:
Oh, no. That’s cool.
Casey:
But the fact that they offer that for the people who want to have a legitimate business there. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
That isn’t based on behaviour mod. . . Huge respect for them, right? Huge respect for providing that option.
Jeff:
Right. Well, here’s something. I was actually using. . . Preparing for another podcast, when I have to look up these crazy things that we talk about. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
I was looking up. . . I can’t remember what it was. It was something bizarre. It was one of the things like, I don’t know, chicken fucker or something. . .
Casey:
What?
Jeff:
One of our many subjects that we come back to. . .
Casey:
Did we talk about chicken fucking?
Jeff:
No, that’s just an example of all we would. . .
Casey:
Oh, we talked about the rabbit. But the rabbit fucks you. You don’t fuck the rabbit.
Jeff:
There was. . . I can’t remember what it was. I was searching for something. . .
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
And surprisingly, it came up with no. . . It’s weird when you search for something. . .
Casey:
What are you talking about?
Jeff:
I search for something in Google there were no ads on the page at all.
Casey:
You searched for “rabbit fucker”. . .
Jeff:
I can’t remember. . .
Casey:
Or whatever it was. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It came back with the listing. . .
Jeff:
Covering, whatever. . .
Casey:
Like, top 10 hits for “rabbit fucker”.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
And then, the ads was blank.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Wow.
Jeff:
Which is weird because you know, normally, Google is covered with text ads all over.
Casey:
Yeah. So they couldn’t find anything?
Jeff:
Well, that’s why I asked you about this. And you mentioned that Google doesn’t take porn ads at all.
Casey:
That’s right. Well, okay. . . I don’t know the specifics of the situation but here’s what I do know, okay. . .
Jeff:
Tell me.
Casey:
I know that there are some sites that were not porn sites. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
They were sites where you could upload videos or something like this. . .
Jeff:
Alright, like YouTube kinds of things?
Casey:
Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Dailymotion, I think was one of them, right. But obviously, people upload porn. . .
Jeff:
Alright, yeah. . .
Casey:
To video sites, right? So whether or not the site is a porn site, per se, if it has user upload capabilities, hey, some porn’s gonna get on there. I think that’s the [ true-ism ]. I’m imagining that YouTube probably has to police that shit because I bet they porn uploads all the time. . .
Jeff:
Yeah. Right.
Casey:
And they have to clean that out or something, right?
Jeff:
Right. There’s never. . . Like, they have managed to keep that clean so they must have people. . .
Casey:
They must because otherwise people just would. . .
Jeff:
Fucking in every video. . .
Casey:
I imagine. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Right? So anyway, point being what I do know is that I read about, like, Dailymotion or. . . And maybe it wasn’t them. I think it was them and maybe some other sites that did not police the porn content.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
They were like, “We don’t care. Fine. You want to upload porn videos? More money for us.”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
“Porn it up. We’ll have a porn channel. And we’ll porn the shit out of the place,” right?
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
But they were advertising through Google, I guess, or something like this. And as a result, that was unacceptable. Like, Google came down on them, I guess, for that. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And said, “If you’re advertising with us, we do not want our AdWords showing up on pages where porn is being displayed,” right.
Jeff:
Ah, I see. So they had it the other way around. They didn’t want to show. . .
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Their ads on porn sites. . .
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Versus the other way.
Casey:
So I think that the reflexive thing is also [ due ] because I seem to remember that AdWords has a policy if, “We don’t want you to advertise porn sites, either.”
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
So it seems like they just don’t want to be associated with that. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
For whatever reason. . .
Jeff:
But Google Image brings up all kinds of scary stuff. And they actually have. . .
Casey:
Well, Google Image has the Safe Search feature. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Which, the fact that you can turn it off, implies to me that they must but I don’t know, maybe they don’t. . . Do they crawl porn sites?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Maybe they don’t. Maybe they try to keep those out of the list.
Jeff:
I don’t think they crawl porn. They have said that. I don’t think they crawl porn.
Casey:
So then, they do censor it.
Jeff:
Well, but they still get lots of nasty pictures. . .
Casey:
Well, alright. . .
Jeff:
They must be sorting based not on content but context somehow. It’s like, it’s just full on. . . Yeah.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
So yeah, either they have really awesome algorithms for detecting this stuff. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Or they have some poor dude in India just, like, looking at. . .
Casey:
Well, that’s the classic algorithm, right? The classic algorithm. . . There’s certain kinds of algorithms, right. And I’m not talking about, like, ON or whatever. I’m talking about the sales class of an algorithm. And there’s 3 basic sales classes that you can sell for an algorithm, right?
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
Now, an algorithm is basically, you know, I’m talking about in the classic sense like NP Complete, like decidability.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
So there’s the decision that the application can make, right. It returns a zero or one and all the problems are phrased in that way, you know, travelling salesman or whatever, is this the shortest path, yes or no. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Whatever. Things like this. So the decidability can fall into one of three categories. There is “no one will pay to have this decision automated”, okay?
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
There’s “people will pay to have the positive decision automated”.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And “people will pay to have the negative decision automated”. And then there’s the superset which is “people will pay for both”.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
Both of those things are true. Porn recognizer is the classic example of that third category of both, right, or 4th category (if you will) of both. The superset category.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Because people will pay for you to reject porn where you’re saying, “This is not porn so I can display it on my service.”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And people will pay for the other thing which is, “Yes, this is porn and I will display it on my service.” So both answers. . .
Jeff:
Are acceptable.
Casey:
Gets you money, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
The fact that it can recognize the positive or the negative are both filters that people want to have. And you can make money.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
So you can turn around and sell this algorithm to, like, nanny sites or whatever that you browse through to screen your kids so they aren’t getting the rabbit fucker. And you can sell it to, like, RabbitXXX, which is all rabbit fucking. . .
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
And you make money on both decisions, you see what I’m saying?
Jeff:
But when you’re wrong, you get sued by both sides ‘cos like. . .
Casey:
That’s what indemnity is for, baby.
Jeff:
Okay, I see.
Casey:
You agree to indemnify RabbitRecognizer.com. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
In case of. . . I see. I see. That’s pretty good action right there.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So you getting into that business?
Casey:
No.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
Although I think I did see a paper, once, that was about porn recognition.
Jeff:
Yeah, I. . .
Casey:
I don’t. . . It was laughably bad but I remember that it was, like. . .
Jeff:
I remember. . . Yeah, that was kind of a joke paper. . .
Casey:
It was a joke.
Jeff:
Because it’s like, “Oh, the percentage of pink pencils. . .”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
They’re like, “Ah. . .”
Casey:
The algorithm was a joke but the paper was not a joke.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
They were seriously trying to make a porn recognizer, I think for a nanny filter, basically.
Jeff:
I remember it being so bad that, like, if this was the facial recognizer that people used in [ software ], it would be detecting. . . I mean, it was so bad. . .
Casey:
Just gnarly anus. . .
Jeff:
Yeah. Right.
Casey:
Well. . . So, I wanted to say something, though. We kind of got off on the porn thing.
Jeff:
Yeah, as we tend to on this podcast.
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. We tend to get off on the porn thing. Well, the thing about that is. . . What’s interesting about that, though, is why do they make that decision? Because they’re all about “do no evil”. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Does that mean. . . So do they think porn is evil? Is that what they’re saying?
Jeff:
I don’t know that that implies that. It might imply that it’s bad business which is. . .
Casey:
So it might just be purely a business decision. . .
Jeff:
Yeah. It may be. . .
Casey:
Not an evil versus good. . .
Jeff:
We actually. . . Yeah, we actually have made a similar decision along the way for partially both. . .
Casey:
Yeah. You were like, thumbs up, let’s get all the porn we can. I’m kidding.
Jeff:
Well, we actually. . . When Smacker came out. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
We had a fair number of adult. . . Because it was one of the only video codecs now. . .
Casey:
And it’s called Smacker. Let’s fucking face it.
Jeff:
Yeah. And the problem we had with it is there is a lot of really shady characters in that business. I didn’t like it because of that. Mitch had some problems with it just like, “Hey, I don’t. . . I think this is shady. . .”
Casey:
He had a religious objection to it.
Jeff:
Yes. And whereas I was just like, you know, 2 out of 3 people are literally screwing us or not only screwing us but, like, scary like, “If you don’t fix this, we’re going to come beat you up. . .” Like, they’re scary people.
Casey:
Oh. So maybe Google was just like, “We don’t want anything to do with this industry. . .”
Jeff:
Yeah, it’s. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
I think you have a certain set of people that go into that, not necessarily the girls and stuff but, like, the purveyors of the business side of this are scary individuals.
Casey:
Got ya.
Jeff:
It’s not worth it.
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
And. . .
Casey:
Not necessarily the girls but what about the guys? Are you saying that the guys in porn are also culpable?
Jeff:
No, no. I think the performers are, like, just trying to make a buck.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
I’m, like, all for “pretty people should make money however they need to make money, go for it”.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Pretty people have to make money, too.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
If they have to take off their clothes, go for it.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
The people that take advantage of them are scary people.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
You usually don’t want to. . . Like, you could hang out with a porn star. Hang out with a porn producer. . . Big difference, right?
Casey:
I see. So if I was dating a porn star. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
You wouldn’t think less of me?
Jeff:
No. That would be awesome.
Casey:
But if I was dating a porn producer, you’d like. . . “You’re sleazy.”
Jeff:
Right. Exactly.
Casey:
I see. Alright. I’ll keep that in mind.
Jeff:
Yeah. Anyway, so maybe that’s all they’re doing. So maybe it’s not an evil versus not evil. It’s just like, “Yeah. . .”
Casey:
“We don’t want anything to do with that shit.”
Jeff:
Shady business. Yeah.
Casey:
Alright. Well, I wanted to give something back. Last time, if you remember, like 2 podcasts ago, I was talking about Google Gray’s Anatomy.
Jeff:
Right, right. Yep.
Casey:
Which is money in the bank. It’s money in the bank.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Everybody would like that.
Casey:
Yeah. Especially because you could tie it in with medical advice, right?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Searching for that. . .
Jeff:
Well, [ and all their same tech ] would work. . .
Casey:
Yep.
Jeff:
In a cool way. . . You could move up, like, exactly Google Maps.
Casey:
Well, no. That’s not true because the human body is 3-dimensional and their tech sucks ass for 3D.
Jeff:
Well, I think it’s. . .
Casey:
But they could stuff to work that out, right?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
They’re about loading tiled images. And tiled images does not have a lot to do with 3-dimensional navigation. . .
Jeff:
Yeah. They could maybe do that. . .
Casey:
So they’ve got extra work to do there. But yes. . .
Jeff:
I would just love to say. . . Since they already support things like one-way roads and all that. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Tolls and all that. . . You’d be like, “How do you get. . . You know, I’m oxygen. . .”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
“How do I get from the air to the sphincter?”
Casey:
Yes. Yeah, I think it would be great. Yeah.
Jeff:
You know, just like it does on Google Maps, the little order of things. . .
Casey:
Yeah. “First, take a left turn to the vena cava. . .”
Jeff:
Yeah, exactly.
Casey:
So I want to help them out again. . .
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
Because I feel like they did a good thing with giving me that $50-subscription, they made me a happy customer and they made me think well of their company. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
I felt that was a noble thing on their part.
Jeff:
Okay. You’re gonna give them a new product?
Casey:
So I want to give something back.
Jeff:
You’re giving them something new?
Casey:
No.
Jeff:
Oh, okay.
Casey:
I want to fix Google Checkout for them.
Jeff:
Oh, okay.
Casey:
Google Checkout is not achieving Paypal-like status at this time.
Jeff:
Okay, so I see Google Checkout on Buy.com. . .
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
And some. . . I don’t even get it. What is it. . .
Casey:
Google Checkout is payment processing. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So it’s basically a thing that allows a merchant to say, “I have a service that costs $50.”
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
The user clicks on a button, the Google Checkout button. You’re presented with a receipt that’s, like, $50. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Put in your credit card number. . .
Jeff:
It’s like Steam or some other shit, right?
Casey:
Um. . .
Jeff:
Better version of Steam?
Casey:
No, it’s a worse version of Steam.
Jeff:
Oh, okay, worse.
Casey:
Steam is way better in the. . . I mean, well, say what you like about Steam technology. It’s at least trying to do the right thing.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Like I’m playing a game. I enter my Steam ID and it magically starts, like, streaming shit. . .
Jeff:
And Google, they don’t even do that?
Casey:
There’s none of that.
Jeff:
Oh, okay.
Casey:
It doesn’t support any of that stuff.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
It’s just payment processing. And it acts back to you with, like, “They paid,” or, “They didn’t pay”.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
That’s all it is. But you know, I think they’re gonna expand it or whatever. But that’s what it is — just payment. It’s merchant processing. And they have, like, an API that allows you to integrate it into your website for whatever purposes you want, right?
Jeff:
So it’s kind of like. . . So it is trying to be a different PayPal?
Casey:
Yes, although I feel like it’s less, perhaps, bank-like than PayPal. PayPal, you kind of have an account. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
[ Either credit or debit ]. . .
Jeff:
[ They’re paying interest. They’re like the real thing. ]
Casey:
I don’t know how much that shit works but it’s kind of like that in that, like, the merchant side, right, of checkout, you are accruing cash. And they’re sending you a check.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So it’s kind of like that, right?
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
The problem with Google Checkout, I’m just gonna say it. . . I’m just gonna come out right here. Is Google Checkout. Think about it. PayPal. “I PayPal-ed somebody the money,” right?
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
“I used PayPal.” Whatever.
Jeff:
You can’t verb it. Right.
Casey:
It’s not that you can’t verb it. It’s too long. “I Googled Checked it out.” “I’m gonna go use Google Checkout. . .” What’s the web address for this? GoogleCheckout.Google.com. . . It doesn’t work for me.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
It’s not working. It’s not sticking in the customer’s mind.
Jeff:
Alright. I’m scared but I. . . Give me the name.
Casey:
They have Gmail. They already had Gmail.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
They have Gchat.
Jeff:
Oh, my God. I know what it is already.
Casey:
How did they miss this?
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
How did they miss this opportunity?
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
To make Gmoney, the payment service. Everyone would fucking use that service. Gmoney is awesome.
Jeff:
Yeah, they’re just. . .
Casey:
Gmoney!
Jeff:
They could even do. . .
Casey:
It’s called Gmoney!
Jeff:
You know what, when I was sitting here thinking of the name. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
I didn’t come up with that. Gmoney is not the one I thought of?
Casey:
What did you think of?
Jeff:
Gspot.
Casey:
What?
Jeff:
I don’t know why. . .
Casey:
That’s the porn service. How could Gspot. . .
Jeff:
Apparently, I thought it was like the spot you go to pay. I thought that’s what you’re going for.
Casey:
No.
Jeff:
But no. . .
Casey:
No.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
Gmoney.
Jeff:
Gmoney. I like Gmoney.
Casey:
I love it.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I want to buy something with Gmoney right now.
Jeff:
Is G--. . .
Casey:
If anyone is listening who has the power to change this name, change that shit.
Jeff:
Is Gmoney. . . Have you gone to see what’s at Gmoney just to see what it is? To see what you have to buy. . .
Casey:
Okay. They need to create a shell company. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
To buy this because if the person knows it’s Google, they’re gonna charge them like a billion Dollars.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
But [ you get a shell company ] called “Starving African Children’s Charity” to buy this domain name. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Gmoney. No, I like it. Gmoney.
Casey:
Yeah. There you go. Problem solved.
Jeff:
It’s all about the [ Larry’s ].
Casey:
Yeah. Awesome. Alright, that’s all I had to say about that.
Jeff:
That’s all you had to say about that?
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Well, hey, you know what? That means we actually checked something off of our list. . .
Casey:
Of things, yes.
Jeff:
Yeah. We talked about that. That’s pretty awesome.
Casey:
Which is good because I’m kind of coming down off the caffeine here. My head is spinning. I don’t know what’s going on. You better pick the next topic ‘cos I’m just. . . I don’t know what’s happening here.
Jeff:
You actually sent me a link which was startling. I didn’t know what to do.
Casey:
I’m getting into this podcast thing. I like it. I like doing podcasts now.
Jeff:
You sent me a product called the Sacro. . . It’s called the Sacro Wedgy.
Casey:
The Sacro Wedgy.
Jeff:
What is the Sacro Wedgy?
Casey:
So, I have no fucking clue.
Jeff:
I saw the picture of it. . .
Casey:
Somebody created a product they thought they would call a Sacro Wedgy. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
I don’t know why.
Jeff:
If you have that name, you almost have to make a product called it.
Casey:
I agree.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
They call it Sacro Wedgy and it’s some kind of a. . . It’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s a shit that goes up your ass, basically. It’s like this seat, this like. . .
Jeff:
Well, it doesn’t go up your ass. It goes along your ass.
Casey:
No. It’s like. . . It looks like it’s conforming so it kind of, like, goes in the crack.
Jeff:
Yeah, it goes in the crack but it doesn’t go up the ass.
Casey:
No, it does not go into the anus.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Okay? It does not get into the interior.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
It does not go into the ministry of the interior. But this thing is for correcting sciatica, I guess.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Or not correcting it but easing the pain, if you will.
Jeff:
So sciatica’s like kind of a back pain? I don’t know exactly what sciatica is.
Casey:
I don’t really know, either.
Jeff:
It’s sounds like old people get it.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
“Oh, my sciatica.”
Casey:
This is supposed to help that alleviate the pain or something. And it’s this wedgy. . .
Jeff:
It is a wedge. . .
Casey:
It gives you a wedgy to help you alleviate the pain.
Jeff:
It looks kind of like a little triangle of. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
It’s sort. . .
Casey:
I don’t. . . Yeah.
Jeff:
You just sit on it. . . Yeah.
Casey:
But why you would call it. . . A wedgy is a thing that gives you pain.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
So why you would call something that alleviates pain a wedgy, I don’t know.
Jeff:
It’s one of those. . . Yeah, it’s one of those. . .
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
The Sacro Wedgy, at first, sounded like something that a priest gives you.
Casey:
Well, oh, yeah. . .
Jeff:
“Have you had your first Sacro Wedgy?” And you’re like, “No.”
Casey:
It sounds like something that some character on a TV show who’s supposed to have a funny voice. Like, how they say the sacrament or something. Like, “Oh, I got the Sacro Wedgy.”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
You know, whatever. Like, it’s like a cartoon character.
Jeff:
It sounds made-up.
Casey:
Yeah. It sounds made-up.
Jeff:
But they had the name. They then. . . After they had the name, the generated the product from it. So, it’s all good.
Casey:
That is probably true.
Jeff:
It’s all good, then.
Casey:
That is probably true. I would love to see someone. . . They didn’t have, like. . . I didn’t see anything on the website that showed someone sitting down on this thing.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I can’t imaging it’s comfortable but. . .
Jeff:
It doesn’t look very comfortable.
Casey:
I don’t know what to say. I don’t have sciatica and I don’t know what it is. So. . .
Jeff:
Old people, this is for our listeners ‘cos we have a lot of old people that listen to us.
Casey:
We do? How old?
Jeff:
I don’t know but they’re old.
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
We appeal to, you know, 70-70. . ..
Casey:
With you making fun of Florida so often, I can’t guarantee how that’s possible but okay.
Jeff:
Yeah. Well, here is. . . I’m gonna. . .
Casey:
Are you saying this podcast is 40+? Does this podcast have 40+ action?
Jeff:
40+?
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Something’s wrong with you.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So, alright, let’s stay on the Casey Links theme. This is. . .
Casey:
Did I send another one to you?
Jeff:
You sent another one. And actually, it somewhat ties in. . .
Casey:
What did I send you?
Jeff:
And that’s the one about the Vatican okay-ing. . . [ Belief in aliens.]
Casey:
So this ties in with the podcast from earlier where I was talking about being raised Catholic.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
And this is interesting, right, ‘cos if you were raised Catholic, then the pope is supposed to tell you what to do.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right? So you’re supposed to basically get, like, official [ pay-to-see ] edicts or we. . .
Jeff:
Right, right. . .
Casey:
That’s like, you know, and they do weird shit that no one understand--. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Like, that I don’t understand the point. They’ll be like, “Okay, we’ve decided that all of your prayers now should go through the Virgin Mary.”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
She is the new conduit for prayer. Previously, praying directly to Jesus was okay. It’s not okay anymore.
Jeff:
He’s buried. His stack of mail at this point is so huge. . .
Casey:
He’s got too much.
Jeff:
It’s too much.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
It’s too much.
Casey:
We’re bringing on help.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
[ Somebody screamed shit ]. It’s like, you know what, there’s a lot of these “please, win the lottery” mails. She’s just gonna call those out.
Jeff:
It’s like a lot of celebrity mothers who answer their celebrity spawns’ mail for them.
Casey:
Oh, yeah, yeah. . .
Jeff:
Like if you write to Hannah Montana. . .
Casey:
Oh, yeah.
Jeff:
You might get a. . . You know. . .
Casey:
Who the fuck is Hannah Montana?
Jeff:
You don’t know who Hannah Montana is?
Casey:
Am I supposed to? Is that. . .
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Who is that?
Jeff:
I can’t explain it. She just is herself.
Casey:
Oh, like Paris Hilton?
Jeff:
No. She’s on Disney Channel shows. So. . .
Casey:
Oh, like Britney Spears?
Jeff:
Yeah, kind of like Britney Spears, 10 years younger. Like, she’s in the. . . Whatever the show. . .
Casey:
Wait, how young is she?
Jeff:
15 or 16. . .
Casey:
Wasn’t that how old Britney Spears was when she was on the Disney Channel?
Jeff:
Yeah, yeah. That’s what I’m saying. Like, 10 years from now. . .
Casey:
First of all, was Britney Spears. . .
Jeff:
She was a Mouseketeer.
Casey:
Okay. I thought that. . . I was like, “Maybe it was Nickelodeon. I don’t know which one.”
Jeff:
So it was Christina Aguilera. . .
Casey:
She was on Disney?
Jeff:
Uh-huh.
Casey:
Really?
Jeff:
And so was Justin Timberlake.
Casey:
Wow.
Jeff:
And so was the guy in “Lars and the Real Doll” and what’s his name?
Casey:
What the fuck is “Lars and the Real Doll”?
Jeff:
It’s a great movie. It’s a really good movie. And he was also in. . . I think you actually like this actor. I can’t think of his name right now.
Casey:
I think it’s “Lars and the Real Girl”, isn’t it?
Jeff:
Is it? Real. . . I thought. . .
Casey:
“Real Doll”?
Jeff:
You know, I don’t remember if it’s doll or girl.
Casey:
What’s the movie about.
Jeff:
It’s about a guy who’s kind of. . . You know, he’s got some issues. . .
Casey:
Yeah, don’t we all?
Jeff:
And he. . . Should I tell the movie? ‘Cos then it’s like spoiler but, like, he orders a real doll in the mail. He gets it and then he thinks she’s real. He treats her as a real. . . Not as a love doll but as an actual thing. . .
Casey:
Fascinating. Okay.
Jeff:
And the rest of the people in his town treat him. . . Help him with this, you know, pretending that she actually is real.
Casey:
Interesting. . .
Jeff:
They don’t ostracize him. They actually. . .
Casey:
I like the sound of this film.
Jeff:
It’s a great movie. Anyway, I can’t remember his name, though. He was also in the thing where he was a school teacher that took crack and heroin.
Casey:
Oh. . .
Jeff:
Gosh, I can’t remember. Anyway, he was also a Musketeer in the same timeframe so, like. . .
Casey:
No, not a Musketeer. A Mouseketeer.
Jeff:
Mouseketeer, sorry, yes. . .
Casey:
There’s only 3 Musketeer. . .
Jeff:
I don’t even know if they’re Mouseketeers. They were just on the whatever. . .
Casey:
They were on some fucking show?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Oh, that reminds me, Disney’s “High School Musical” is going to the Paramount?
Jeff:
Oh, it is?
Casey:
Or maybe we already missed it. I don’t know. But it sounds like quality. You in for that?
Jeff:
When I was. . .
Casey:
Should I get you tickets?
Jeff:
When I was in Salt Lake. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
The “High School Musical” was actually filmed in Salt Lake City, at East High. . .
Casey:
Oh. . .
Jeff:
Which is near where one of my brothers live. So we were stuck on “High School Musical” backlog traffic.
Casey:
I still haven’t seen this show. . .
Jeff:
I haven’t, either.
Casey:
But obviously, I understand the concept that it is a singing high school. I can only imagine that it is something I want to see. Like, I feel like this would be amusing to me. Don’t you think?
Jeff:
I think you’d get a kick out of it. You like musicals. They drive me nuts. But you actually. . . You like a good, well-written musical.
Casey:
Here’s the thing with me and musicals. I’m trying to think of what the right analogy is to it.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
There are some analogies I can think of that I’m not gonna say. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
I’ll put it that way. Me and musicals is I feel like musicals are sort of like an art form that I get, at some level. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
In the way that people get ballet that I do not. I go to ballet and I’m like. . .
Jeff:
“I don’t understand. . .”
Casey:
“This is fucking ridiculous.” Right?
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And I feel like I am that way with musicals such that most people think I am crazy when I’m talking about them because I’m talking about, like, “Oh, such and such musical did this and you see how this works out.” And they’re like, “Who fucking cares Case? It doesn’t fucking matter. It’s a musical,” right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And I accept that fact, right. But the problem with this is, at least in my mind, is that musicals (in general) do not. . . And possibly because of this, because it’s a very inaccessible art form and has issues and it can go wrong fast. . .
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
And I am not an apologist. I think most musicals are terrible. But I like the art form of it.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
When they’re good. . .
Casey:
But they are usually really bad. If you ask me, “Casey, take me to see 10 great musicals,” around 7 or 8, I’m struggling. I’m like. . .
Jeff:
“Titanic”.
Casey:
Yeah, you know, it gets rough out there, right?
Jeff:
We saw “Titanic”. It was insane. I’m like. . .
Casey:
I have not seen that film. I’m sorry. I have not seen that musical but, yeah. . .
Jeff:
This is. . . ‘Cos they’re actually singing as they’re. . . Oh, it’s so wrong.
Casey:
I would go to see it but, you know, what can I say? Anyway, point being, so it’s kind of just a getting used to disappointment, right?
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Where I know that I’m not gonna be able to go see a musical every month, every 3 months even. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
That I’m gonna really enjoy. And it makes me sad. It’s like. . . I wish that more great artists. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Decided that that’s something they wanted to do because I think it would be awesome. But that’s not where good musical talent and where writing talent goes.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It’s not a respected enough craft in reality. Like, it still occupies this weird hallowed place where people go to New York to see these things. And it’s like, people (actors and actresses) want to be in them and whatever. So somehow, it still has this credibility. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
But the real smart, good minds, are not doing this. They’re not writing musicals.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
We don’t have a Stephen Sondheim anymore. . .
Jeff:
And I’ve said what I think happened to them but you dismissed me.
Casey:
What?
Jeff:
I think all the good lyricists went into Rap and Hip Hop but you totally disagree with me.
Casey:
Well, see, either I agree or disagree. . . They want to make a good Hip Hop musical? Fine. I’ll go watch that.
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
As long as it’s well done, right?
Jeff:
I’m just saying, like. . .
Casey:
But I don’t know what to say. If Jay-Z or somebody was, like. . . Wanted to do, like, “The Who” things like, you know, “I’m gonna make the rap musical. . .”
Jeff:
“Trapped in the Closet”, baby. . .
Casey:
Right, exactly. If they want to do like a “Trapped in the Closet” live thing, sure, I’m game.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I liked “Trapped in the Closet”. It was freaking me out.
Jeff:
It did freak me out.
Casey:
You know?
Jeff:
I’ve liked. . . You know, the very. . . The classic ones from. . . That I can manage are the same ones that everyone else. Likes. I loved the “South Park” movie. But in general, I don’t like going to see musicals because they fail so spectacularly when they fail.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
It’s like, when they miss. . .
Casey:
Well, see, you know what’s the interesting thing to me is you did not like “Les Misérables”, right?
Jeff:
No, I did not.
Casey:
Now, why didn’t you like that? I would like to know.
Jeff:
I actually liked. . . I liked the reprise of the songs they did, like kind of that Mark Chaplin stuff. . .
Casey:
So you liked the music but you did not like the musical?
Jeff:
Yes. I think. . .
Casey:
So tell me something about why you didn’t like it. Not that I’m accusing you. . . I’m not saying you should have liked it. I want to know. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
For my information.
Jeff:
I think the big thing is I think with musicals, since singing about something is usually slower. . . Like, for example, if we had a musical podcast. . .
Casey:
Which should absolutely happen but okay. . .
Jeff:
We would be 4 hours long because we’d have to. . . We’d sing a song about each one of these things on our list that we don’t get to. And singing about something takes longer than just talking about it.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So in general, the plot jumps forwards in spits and fits.
Casey:
And you don’t like that?
Jeff:
I don’t like it because they. . . As poorly motivated as most plays are, I think, a lot of times where you’re just like, you accept the fact that the characters do what they do because we need to wrap this up in 2 hours. . .
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
That, in a musical, is even more insane. The only. . . They don’t show you why he’s broken up because they took his wife away or something. You’re just expected to. . . He is broken up about his wife because he’s singing about it, period. And that’s just a harder thing for me to get past.
Casey:
Interesting.
Jeff:
That’s my only thing about that. It’s like there’s less plot in a musical because they can’t afford it, time-wise. So. . .
Casey:
Interesting. Okay.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
That was your only objection, then?
Jeff:
Yeah. . .
Casey:
The singing didn’t bother you?
Jeff:
What’s that?
Casey:
The singing didn’t bother you, though, otherwise?
Jeff:
Sometimes. . . Well, sometimes. . . Like, I don’t like the singing where they’re saying lines in a singing voice. That is. . . That’s really. . .
Casey:
Interesting. . .
Jeff:
When they actually just have normal lines, only they’re singing them, is silly. I like the songs when they’re songs.
Casey:
Ah, so interesting.
Jeff:
Like, the. . . What was the one we saw the movie version of?
Casey:
So interesting. “Hairspray”?
Jeff:
No, no, no.
Casey:
What?
Jeff:
The one with the barber. . .
Casey:
Oh, “Sweeney Todd”.
Jeff:
Yeah, of course, right, which I do like. . .
Casey:
That is a fabulous musical, one of my favourites.
Jeff:
Great. . . Right. They have great songs in that that are songs. Like, they are. . .
Casey:
Well, Sondheim pretty much only does songs. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
You know, there’s different styles of musical but that’s actually mostly what musicals are is song-based musicals. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Because most people do not do the other kind which is called through-composed musicals which is where the whole thing is sung.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right? That’s closer to an opera, really. But since it’s not opera-style music. . .
Jeff:
They can’t call it that. . .
Casey:
It’s not called an opera, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And frankly, the difference is pretty drastic. I don’t really like opera very much but I do like musicals. So there is. . . It might be a little bit like porn where you’re like, you know. . . Or not porn. Obscenity. It’s like, “I can’t specifically tell you what it is but I’ll know when I see it,” kind of a thing, right? It may be that that line is kind of fuzzy. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Because yeah, hey, this kind of sounds a little operatic or maybe in an opera, this kind of sounds like a musical. That can happen, certainly. But it’s still pretty obvious, right?
Jeff:
Right. Well, certainly. . .
Casey:
Which one you’re watching. . .
Jeff:
Right. And certainly, modern musicals are moving towards the thing where they’re just like, “It’s a play that has musical segments in it like the Abba musical that they did. . .”
Casey:
No, but what I’m saying is that’s the traditional format.
Jeff:
Oh, okay.
Casey:
That’s the way musicals were, okay.
Jeff:
That’s the one that are popular now because the operatic ones are. . .
Casey:
That’s the kind that’s been popular for all time, right.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
So typically, your kind of like bread and butter musicals like “Oklahoma” or something, you know, of their day, right. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
The Rogers and Hammerstein kind of crap, right? These musicals, I don’t really care much for those kinds of musicals very much, sort of the old school. . . Very traditional old school ones. . .
Jeff:
[inaudible 52:06]
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. That’s what they were. “The Music Man”, whatever, right. . . They are a play with 10 musical numbers or some number, right, in them. That is how they are structured because it’s much easier to do that. . .
Jeff:
Yes, I agree.
Casey:
Than the other thing which is to compose. Now, the thing is, though, in my mind, I don’t feel like that’s the way it should go. The thing that you don’t like about “Les Misérables”, actually, I think is one of its greatest strengths which is that rather. . . They did it. . . The way I would describe it is “Les Misérables” is structured as a musical much more the way a film has a film score which is that we don’t write 5 songs for the film and play them during the various segments, right?
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
That’s not how a film score works. The way a good film score works is we have certain themes that correspond to certain elements of the film and they are tracked, accurately, throughout the picture.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
The better a film score is, the more closely tied certain musical elements are to repeating elements in the film. You can see this a lot when you look at sort of. . . Even a fairly straightforward [inaudible 53:17] film score by, like, John Williams or something good but you can see it. It’s like these things correspond very tightly with the kinds of things that are happening in the movie at that time.
Jeff:
I see. Okay.
Casey:
So you won’t hear a particular theme only once. You’ll hear it any time it accurately describes the emotion of that thing. So it kind of is the secondary thing that ties together disparate parts of the movie because their emotional content was the same even if it’s not. . . We’re not even talking about love or some grandiose emotion. Just even simple things like go watch “Indiana Jones”, right?
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
A good. . . Like, 3rd. . . “Last Crusade”, which is a really good score, has it so that when we are doing specific kinds of light action, we have the same sort of music playing through it and so on, right?
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And this is kind of interesting stuff, right? “Les Misérables” is a good example. Everyone loved that film. . . I mean, that musical, for whatever reason and I don’t know. Like, I don’t know why people like and dislike these things. I’m sure they’re not thinking about the same things I’m thinking about because, like I said, I’m kind of into it, if you will. And I’ve probably lost the ability to see it in a sort of nice, objective way, right?
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Where you’re just like, “Did I enjoy it or not?” I’m like, “Oh, that’s interesting,” or whatever, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And so, the thing that I think is really interesting about “Les Misérables” is they did that same thing. There are not, in general, musical numbers in “Les Misérables”. There are some, right?
Jeff:
[ Inspector’s ] theme. . .
Casey:
Sort of. Well, no. That’s the thing is. . .
Jeff:
But I mean. . .
Casey:
Usually, actually, it’s just themes. And the musical number for a character, they may have a big musical number. But that music is then repeated any time that that character is the overriding focus of a particular scene, right down to the fact when if two people maybe are arguing, they might throw in elements of the two people’s general themes, right?
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
I think that’s cool. I like the way that they did that. And I prefer that to the other way of scoring which is just specific musical number instances.
Jeff:
I’m not opposed to that. I think that’s fine. I just didn’t like when they. . . I didn’t like the singing during that part which is why I think I liked the end part where they bring all the. . . They put it all together in one song. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
You didn’t think that they would go together and somehow it all ties. . . It all worked.
Casey:
At the end?
Jeff:
At the end when they’re. . .
Casey:
Do you maybe mean the act break? Because “One Day More” is really more of a medley that has. . .
Jeff:
Yeah, that’s the one. . .
Casey:
Which is the act break. The end is mostly just a reprise. There’s 2. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
There’s 2 things in a row.
Jeff:
I meant the one when they had kind of little bits of all the music that came before. . .
Casey:
I think you might be talking about the act. . . Like, the end of Act 1.
Jeff:
Is where they do that?
Casey:
I’m trying to remember the structure of “Les Misérables” in its original form. Was it 3 acts, though?
Jeff:
It’s 2. Well, the one I saw was 2.
Casey:
Nowadays, I think it’s 2. The one I’ve. . . The performance I’ve seen most recently was 2. But for some reason, in my head. . . For some reason, I’m getting this little. . . This tinkling tone that there was a story in 3 acts. But no, I’m probably mistaken.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It was probably always 2 because the last time I saw it, it was 2.
Jeff:
I think. . .
Casey:
So the end of Act 1. . .
Jeff:
It’s difficult to make 3-act plays anyway nowadays on Broadway just ‘cos it’s. . . It’s, you know. . . Every time. . . Breaking is difficult and expensive to do.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So the most. . . Yeah.
Casey:
I don’t really. . . I don’t know much about that.
Jeff:
Yeah. I don’t think. . .
Casey:
For all I love about musicals and plays, in general, I know shockingly little about how they’re actually. . . Like, I have what I see in them.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
But I really just don’t know the business, at all.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right? Like, I can only have what I am able to [ destruct ] as an audience, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And how you actually go about making one of these things or how the economics of it work, I don’t know.
Jeff:
Well, movies have similar things. Like the new Soderbergh movie, “Che”. . . Is it “Che”? Is that how you say his name? The dude that’s on the silkscreen of all the t-shirts?
Casey:
What? What t-shirts?
Jeff:
You know. . . Rivera or. . .
Casey:
Oh, Che Guevara.
Jeff:
Guevara, yeah.
Casey:
Okay, yeah. Sure. Sorry, I didn’t know. . .
Jeff:
So, they just made a 4-hour. . .
Casey:
No, that’s so funny. Now, I know what you’re talking about, the t-shirts, yeah. Okay.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Yeah, sorry. I just didn’t. . . My brain was in the wrong place. I was thinking of Shay like [inaudible 57:17] wife, Shay, like S-H. . .
Jeff:
S-H-A-Y, yeah. . .
Casey:
You know. . .
Jeff:
So, yeah. He has a 4-hour movie.
Casey:
About Che Guevara?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
With Benicio Del Toro. It was awesome. [inaudible 57:29]
Casey:
Oh, wow. Yeah.
Jeff:
But they don’t know how they’re gonna do it because it is 4 hours and, like, in intermissions. . . Movie theatres do not like the logistics of having an intermission anymore because they’re like, “Our ticket takers aren’t set up to allow people to have 200 people come back in the lobby for 10 minutes and then go back.” I mean they like. . .
Casey:
They just hated it.
Jeff:
Yeah, well, certain. . . Like the Cinerama is capable of doing it. There are some that are capable of showing it. So they’re trying to figure out how they’re gonna do this. They’re thinking of maybe showing. . . The first week, showing the entirety. And then from then on, have Part 1, Part 2 at different times of the day. So you actually go to the movie and then come back and pay for the second part of the movie separately.
Casey:
Interesting.
Jeff:
So, yeah, there is complexity. . .
Casey:
They could just charge 20 bucks and see what happens.
Jeff:
Yeah. I think again, like. . .
Casey:
Or 15 bucks.
Jeff:
There’s logistics there, like, there’s no way for them to do that on all their credit card processors. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
It’s just. . . You know.
Casey:
They’re set up for a very specific thing. . .
Jeff:
And they’re trying to figure out how to. . .
Casey:
Going to the movies is not a parametric experience. Like, we’ve got some concessions. We’ve got to take a ticket. That’s what we do.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
So yeah, they’re probably not like, “Oh, it’s of critical importance to our industry to start experimenting with all kinds of new admission procedures.” That’s probably not something they want to do.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
’Cos they just don’t probably see the benefit. And frankly, neither do I, really.
Jeff:
Yeah. It’s a little crazy.
Casey:
But I should also mention at the end of this little segment here that I actually. . .
Jeff:
[ And then that started about the Vatican. . . ]
Casey:
Yeah. Right, right, right. I took a step recently that I always knew was coming. And it just. . . I wasn’t clear when it was gonna happen. And most of the reason why it never happened is because I’ve never had, like, a girl friend or a male friend who is also into musicals because nobody likes them.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
I’m the only person, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And so, I never. . . It was hard to make this step but I was just like, “Fuck it.”
Jeff:
Fifth Avenue Theatre?
Casey:
Season subscription.
Jeff:
Awesome.
Casey:
I was just, like. . .
Jeff:
“I’m doing it.”
Casey:
“I’ve always wanted to do this. I’m just gonna fucking do it.” Because then, you get all the perks, too. It’s like, I get my balcony seating and all that shit. So I was just like, “Yeah, you know what. . .”
Jeff:
The performers bow to you at the end?
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Well, a long time ago, I had. . . Like. . .
Jeff:
“I’m a patron of the arts now.”
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
No, not patron of the arts. This is the thing, right. . .
Jeff:
Patron of the musicals. . .
Casey:
No, that’s the thing, right. I am sure I will be sitting next to people and that’s who they will be, right. There’ll be Microsoft people and the guy. . . The husband and wife go in and whatever, you know, and I don’t know. . . Like, they’ve got their daughter there, right? It’s culture, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
But I am not there to support the arts.
Jeff:
“I’m there to be entertained.”
Casey:
I’m there because I actually. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
I want to go to it. Right? That’s the sad motherfucking fact is that I want to go.
Jeff:
That’s awesome.
Casey:
Right, it’s a baseball game to me. It is pedestrian entertainment to me. I do not think of it as going out to some cultural event and we’re gonna eat steaks after, right, or we went to the supper club first, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
It’s literally like I want it in the old sense of the term. Like, it is. . . I do not want to feel high and mighty about going to a musical. I want to feel like it’s something I can just go do for the night out.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
You know?
Jeff:
So what do you got coming up first? You got probably “Hairspray”, you got. . .
Casey:
Well, actually, it’s a good season. I shouldn’t say that. It’s a reasonable season for the Fifth Avenue. I’ve always wanted to see “Sundays in the Park with George”. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Which is a Sondheim, right? So they’re doing that. And I have heard good things about the. . . “The Drowsy Chaperone”, I think is what it’s called. . .
Jeff:
I’ve not heard of that one.
Casey:
It’s supposed to be good. I’m interested in seeing that one, too. But the lead off, the lead off musical, I was just like. . . ‘Cos I didn’t go for the full subscription yet ’cos I’m going to see. . . I got 2 tickets. I figured I’ll try to round up people to go. It feels weird going by myself.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
But I’ll get there, right. If I can’t find anyone, I’ll still. . . I’ll go by my fucking self. I don’t care. I am shameless, okay. I will do it if I have to. So I only opted. . . I was trying it out, just putting my foot in the water. I opted for, like, 3 out of 5.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
There’s gonna be 5 in the season. I was gonna do 3 or whatever. So I had to pick 3. Or. . . No, maybe it was 5 out of 7.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
I don’t know what the fuck it is. I don’t care. Whatever. Not the point. But the point is, like, [inaudible 61:51] They’re doing “Grease”, classic. . .
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
They’re doing one that I didn’t recognize. I think it was about. . . I don’t remember what it was about, actually. I think it was a jazzy one maybe. I don’t know. I don’t remember. I have to. . .
Jeff:
Jazz hands?
Casey:
But the lead off, and I had to pick it. . . I had to fucking pick it because I do not understand what it’s going to be.
Jeff:
Gotta be “Abba” then. . .
Casey:
Nope. I’ll give you a guess but you’re not gonna be able to guess. I don’t know why I am but it’s just entertaining to guess.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So go ahead. Think of the most ridiculous fucking thing you could think of and say that and maybe you have a chance.
Jeff:
I don’t know.
Casey:
It’s a movie license. I’ll give you that. It’s a movie license.
Jeff:
I was thinking things like “The Sopranos” or “The Godfather: The Musical” or something. . .
Casey:
Right. It’s a movie license so go ahead and take your best shot.
Jeff:
I wish. . . I should know this because I do go to sites that sell tickets for events like this.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
But I don’t know. I can’t tell you. The “Abba” ones freaked me out.
Casey:
Yeah. “Shrek: The Musical”.
Jeff:
Oh, “Shrek”? I heard that. That’s right, that they’re opening with “Shrek”, right? That’s the first one.
Casey:
It’s the fucking lead off. They’re proud of this shit.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
They’re like, “We are proud that we are. . .” Like, “We are debuting ‘Shrek: The Musical’.” I was like, “Bravo, motherfucker. You want a medal for that? Debuting fucking ‘Shrek: The Musical’. . .”
Jeff:
You’re gonna be putting, like, little reviews on City Search. . .
Casey:
Absolutely.
Jeff:
It’s like, “Donkey was terrific but. . .”
Casey:
No. These will be going on MollyRocket just like I have the non-fiction audio review. There will be a musicals review on there. Yeah.
Jeff:
Yeah. “Donkeys rule. . .”
Casey:
Absolutely.
Jeff:
Oh, my God.
Casey:
But I can’t believe that lead off is “Shrek: The Musical”.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
So I had to pick it. I was like, “I have to see this,” because either I’ll be shocked at the fact that I like it somehow or I’ll be very entertained by watching what they are trying to do to make “Shrek” into a fucking musical.
Jeff:
I think it’s gonna be exactly what you expect which is just the worst, like, “I’m a great big ogre, argh argh argh. . .”
Casey:
Yeah. That’s what I’m thinking, too. Yeah.
Jeff:
“I’m a great big ogre. . .”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
It’ll be that kind of action. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Just the worst. . .
Casey:
That’s what I’m assuming. So I’m thinking I’ve got to see it. I’ve got to see it. So we’ll see how that goes. But no, I think the season might be okay.
Jeff:
Alright. That’s. . . Yeah.
Casey:
But if it goes well, I’m stepping up to the full subscription the year after, dude. I’m telling you right now. I’m stepping it up.
Jeff:
We have to take your heterosexual card at that point. Is that how it works? You have to turn it in?
Casey:
See? Here’s the thing is, like, I don’t have any problem with homosexuality but it’s just. . . For some reason, I can’t get excited about sex with guys.
Jeff:
It’d be so much easier.
Casey:
Right? It’s like, I like guys. Guys are a lot of fun to talk to, right? I have tons. . . I like smart people. . . We went over this, right? We went over this in a previous podcast, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
I am so seduced by intelligence, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
A ton, you know. And I know tons of smart guys and I really don’t know that many. . . At least not technically, right. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
You’re talking about the kind of stuff I normally talk about, my science and stuff. . . I don’t know many women in the sciences, at all, if any, really. . . Very, very few.
Jeff:
Yeah. That’s the trouble.
Casey:
So hey, yeah, my life would be way easier if I dated guys, right? I’m sure I could find way more guys that I want to date than girls. But just the problem is I can’t do it.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It’s true what they say about being born one way or the other, right. Anyone who thinks you can choose to be gay or not gay, I don’t think so because believe me, if I could choose to be gay, I probably would. It would be way better. But I can’t. It’s like, I can’t get psyched about that. I’m sorry.
Jeff:
There’s the awesome Nicholson line in “As Good As It Gets” where he’s like, “Boy, if that did it for me. . .” Where he has the. . .
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. Right. You know. . . So I don’t know what to say about it other than, like. . . I have no. . . I don’t mind if someone thinks I’m homosexual because in my mind, I don’t really. . . I don’t think of that as being a bad thing at all.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
I’m just thinking, like. . .
Jeff:
It would be better.
Casey:
I think probably that’d be better for someone like me but I just. . . What can I say?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It’s not in genes.
Jeff:
That’s the trouble.
Casey:
So I’m gonna have to hope I meet science women at some point because I. . . Yeah. Sorry.
Jeff:
It’s not in the blue genes is what you’re saying?
Casey:
It’s not in the regular genes
Jeff:
Well, you know what, we’re gonna tease people with the Sacro Wedgy. We’re not going back. No, wait. We did Sacro. . .
Casey:
We did the Sacro Wedgy.
Jeff:
We’re not gonna talk about the aliens in the Vatican. That, we’re saving for next week.
Casey:
We never talked about it.
Jeff:
No, that’s what started the whole musical. . .
Casey:
Awesome.
Jeff:
I don’t know why but that’s. . .
Casey:
“Aliens in the Vatican. . .”
Jeff:
We’re gonna talk about that next week because we’re already over.
Casey:
“I’m from outer space. . .”
Jeff:
Stop. You’re gonna get a “pork & pumpkins” real. . .
Casey:
“I do not understand the safe word.”
Jeff:
Keep singing.
Casey:
Sorry.
Jeff:
No, keep it up.
Casey:
Sorry.
Jeff:
This is gonna be the background theme to the end. Keep going. Aliens in. . . So anyway, email us at Podcast@MollyRocket.com and we will see you all. . .
Casey:
That was not my ohako, by the way.
Jeff:
That’s not your best?
Casey:
No.
Jeff:
No. Alright. We’ll work on that. And we will see everybody next week. And thanks, everyone.
Casey:
Sweet.
Jeff:
Okay. Bye.
Casey:
Thanks for tuning in to the podcast.
Jeff:
No, stop the end singing. Stop it.
Casey:
Thank you for listening.
Jeff:
Stop it.
Casey:
I had fun talking to you.
Jeff:
Here’s what I’m going to do.
Casey:
I have. . . No. I was talking to the listeners. Oh, you’re the ass. Fine. I’m stopping it.
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casey muratori
the jeff and casey show - season 1 - episode 15
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