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The Technician
No Imperfections Noted
The Jeff and Casey Show
Jeff and Casey Time
Casey Muratori
Seattle, WA
Spring Break for Gay People
"Stoners can make ANYTHING into a bong."
Original air date: May 25th, 2008
Topics. Baby hip-hop. Shorties. Retro-gayed. Ex-governor alimony. Anti-gay gayness. Alpha politics. Gay camp orgies. Religious education. Google Atlas. Skull bongs. Intellectual property. BT-completeness. Long straw. Meth-based workforce.
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Transcript
Jeff:
Look at that. First time.
Casey:
You did it right?
Jeff:
I did it right. I prepared off-camera. I did it.
Casey:
Oh, man. It’s the end of an era. Jeff launches the MegaTimer…
Jeff:
In 2 beats…
Casey:
Hitch-free…
Jeff:
Yep, in 2 beats. I still don’t know what these yellow buttons do but…
Casey:
So this is part 2?
Jeff:
Part 2. Part 2 of the poodcast, of the 2nd…
Casey:
Of the 2-part podcast.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
2 of 2.
Jeff:
2 of 2.
Casey:
If you will.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
And unfortunately, off-tape… We were not rolling…
Jeff:
Because Dave did not want to be heard…
Casey:
At this time… That’s true. Dave Moore was in the office. He was talking about how he didn’t believe that I was pro-male birth control.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right. And he had a bunch of arguments against it, all of which were obviously inferior to mine. But we won’t recount them now, right. There’s no need to bother with that.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Anyway, I won. And here we are, getting back to the podcast. But since the microphones were off, you missed Jeff trying to say retrograde…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
To refer to the retrograde…
Jeff:
’Cos I say everything wrong.
Casey:
What is the full word? Retrograde what?
Jeff:
Retrograde ejaculation.
Casey:
Ejaculation. Trying to refer to retrograde ejaculation, he said retro-gade.
Jeff:
Right. Which is I guess…
Casey:
Which is awesome. That’s like retrogaying is like when you come out of the closet…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And then go back into the closet, right?
Jeff:
Right. You get sent off to one of those…
Casey:
The Christian camps.
Jeff:
Right, Christian camps…
Casey:
Where they tell you that it’s just a state of mind.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right? Just don’t think gay and you won’t be gay.
Jeff:
Hypnotize you…
Casey:
Yeah. It’s all fine.
Jeff:
“When you hear the word cock…”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
“I want you to shrink.”
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. The semen goes back up into the kidneys, back into the kidneys.
Jeff:
That’s right. The Jeff & Casey Show...
Casey:
So, wait. Actually, you know what…
Jeff:
BIK. BIK Jeff & Casey Show….
Casey:
So, I just realized… I don’t know how I didn’t think of this before, right. Obviously, on this podcast and in the world…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
We have established the fact that religious people who are anti-gay are gay.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Like, it’s not sort of that.
Jeff:
No…
Casey:
It’s not sometimes that. It’s the more religious and anti-gay you are, the gayer you are in reality.
Jeff:
Right. I don’t even…
Casey:
Like, you are gayer.
Jeff:
Right. I mean, the religion thing is a confirmation. But really, if you’re anti-gay, you’re gay. Just you look like…
Casey:
That might be true. I don’t know about that. Like, that makes sense to me but I’m saying the religious anti-gay, it seems like you are just definitely gay.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Like, it always ends up that the religious anti-gay person is gay.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Period.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Now, how did I not put 2 and 2 together with the fact that, like, these anti-gay camps that are religious and they have people there who anti-gay you, right…
Jeff:
It’s an orgy.
Casey:
How did I not put this together, right?
Jeff:
Full on…
Casey:
Because the religious people…
Jeff:
Full on mega fucking.
Casey:
The anti-gay trainers are probably the gayest fucking people there are, right?
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
They’re probably the very gayest you can be.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
You’re in camps. You’re in little huts.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
You’re wearing shorts.
Casey:
They must come back like, “Yeah, I was cured, baby.”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
“But I don’t know. I should probably go every year.”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
“You know, to gay camp. To make sure I…” It just seems like it must be…
Jeff:
Yeah. It’s gotta…
Casey:
There must be so much gay sex at the gay reprogramming camp.
Jeff:
Totally. It’s worse than a bath house.
Casey:
It’s got to be.
Jeff:
It’s going on…
Casey:
And that makes me happy.
Jeff:
So if you get…
Casey:
Nothing makes me happier…
Jeff:
Right…
Casey:
Than when Christian things get fucked up.
Jeff:
Right. If your parents send you to gay camp, you know what, you’re gonna have a great time, everybody.
Casey:
Do not think of that…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Do not dread it.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
It is not gonna be bad.
Jeff:
Nope. Pack lubricants…
Casey:
Yep.
Jeff:
Pack…
Casey:
Yep.
Jeff:
Everything you need…
Casey:
It’s like spring-fucking-break, okay.
Jeff:
’Cos it’s a free-for-all. Yes. Spring break for gay people.
Casey:
It’s spring break for gay people Christian reprogramming camp. Right?
Jeff:
That’s right.
Casey:
Absolutely.
Jeff:
Back into the kidneys.
Casey:
It goes back…
Jeff:
Into the kidneys. BIK. That’s why BINK Has the…
Casey:
“May result in U-turn semen.”
Jeff:
That’s why the BIK file extension…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Back into kidneys. I knew it years ago.
Casey:
You know what they need? You know how they have Google Maps and Google Space and that shit…
Jeff:
Uh-huh…
Casey:
Why is there no Google--… This is almost…
Jeff:
Google Gay Camp?
Casey:
Google Gay. Why is there no… Gay-gle… Why is there no Google Atlas. Human body. Like, Google Gray’s, basically.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Wouldn’t that be coolest thing?
Jeff:
Gray’s Google?
Casey:
You can just go… You know, you have the different versions. You’re like, “Let me the see the MRI version. Let me see the cross-section version. Let me see the CAT scan version.”
Jeff:
That’s a good point.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
They ought to do that ‘cos…
Casey:
They ought to.
Jeff:
We have almost as much data probably on the human body as we do…
Casey:
As earth, yeah.
Jeff:
On earth, yeah… And they did do… They did… I think… It was Google, right, that published the dude who was… Had lethal injection that donated his body to science, that they did the cross-sections…
Casey:
Yeah, radio cross-sections, yeah.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
There’s more than one of those people.
Jeff:
Okay, yeah.
Casey:
They actually have multiple data sets for that.
Jeff:
I think the biggest thing that would be there is most medical data is locked up tight which is so fucking retarded, you can’t even believe it, like the number of things that are owned…
Casey:
Well, no. Not to Google, though, right? Like, Google could…
Jeff:
Sure, sure…
Casey:
Could easily buy at least the atlas portion.
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
Like, they could just buy [inaudible 5:36] and be done, right?
Jeff:
Right. They can buy…
Casey:
So that part, they can do.
Jeff:
I mean, it’s just… It’s unbelievable how goofy that is.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
’Cos then, you can have the same exact tech to where you’re riding up a bloodstream and there’s little arrows…
Casey:
Yeah. Yeah.
Jeff:
It’s like Street View.
Casey:
Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
Like, Stream View.
Casey:
It would be so good, right? And the reason that I was thinking that is I’m like… In my head, I’m going like. . . The semen, right, load it up Google maps and it was… It was one of those situations where the address is not calculated properly.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right? So you tried to say, like, “on sheets”, you know, it was like, “from testes”… “Get directions from testes to sheets”…
Jeff:
You’re getting very close to a port.
Casey:
And it somehow typed in kidney up in that thing or, like, it forgot, right, or whatever. And so, it got this U-turn thing…
Jeff:
“Did you mean kidneys?” Yes. No, you didn’t. No, you didn’t at all.
Casey:
“Did you mean Kidneys, North Carolina?” This is the thing with Google Maps, you know. You know how I always rag on Google. You got me started on this, actually, because I think one time I said something about a Google product like maybe the Search or whatever and I was like, “Oh, Search is really good.” And you were like, “It’s a textbox that you type some words into and some things come back that may or may not be related.” And I was like, “Wow, you’re right. This really isn’t… It’s like making a mountain out of a mole hill.”
Jeff:
Right. Especially because nobody does the whole point of, like… It should be a conversation with the search engine…
Casey:
That’s true.
Jeff:
And it’s like…
Casey:
You can’t really work [inaudible 7:16]
Jeff:
Right. Any time you try to search for something that’s generic, you know, like…
Casey:
It’s all over.
Jeff:
It’s just totally random.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
’Cos then there’d be none of the stupid gaming of the search list…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
It’s like…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
The same thing of when you type in something and it’s like, “Did you mean…”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
That conversation should be deeper and in-depth…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So that you can… It’s just wrong. Yeah.
Casey:
That’s true.
Jeff:
But, I mean… They do…
Casey:
Like if you put in “clown penis” and it doesn’t come up with that, right…
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
It’s like, you’re done.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Like, you can’t… When it’s something that generic, you can’t ever…
Jeff:
Tie into it…
Casey:
Refine the search in a meaningful way.
Jeff:
I didn’t want a clown with a penis…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
I want a clown painted red…
Casey:
He should look like a penis, yes.
Jeff:
With wait stripes… Yes.
Casey:
He should look like a big penis getting out of a penis car.
Jeff:
Yes. And then, that conversation doesn’t happen and that’s lame. So, yeah… But yeah, they could do that. The body thing’s a great idea. In fact, it’s a good enough idea that they can steal it and I’d be happy because I would use such a little thing.
Casey:
Well, this is the thing. What you just said is absolutely the problem with our society, probably including Google.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
But everyone in general is you can’t steal an idea like that.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
It doesn’t work that way.
Jeff:
Just do it.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
I just want it.
Casey:
This is…
Jeff:
In fact, you know what, this is a good point right now.
Casey:
Yeah?
Jeff:
We were gonna have some ideas at the end of the show…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Let’s give away some ideas.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Let’s just give them away just as…
Casey:
But I want to say something meaningful first…
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
And then we’ll give away some ideas for people to use.
Jeff:
Meaning in the pod--…
Casey:
I already gave a great one.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Just then.
Jeff:
That’s a good one.
Casey:
It’s so good, it’s great.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
What I want to say about that was that there’s like this misconception that people have about, like… You can’t steal an idea. It’s not possible…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Because it doesn’t exist in a singular fashion, right? Hopefully, we can all agree on that, right? You can do things with ideas that people have equated to stealing, right? Like using an idea that you found to do something…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
That maybe the person from whom you got the idea, who you heard about it from or whatever, didn’t want you to do or something like that, right? That’s not the same as stealing when it’s like, “You have a singular physical object and I take it from you. Those are obviously different things, right?”
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
But we equate them to stealing. And the reason that that’s really retarded is because you only want laws to create feedback loops that create more productive societies. That’s what they’re there for.
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
And it generally is the case that when you have a singular physical object, it is always a good law that if someone expended resources to get it, they should be able to use it under their own terms, right?
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
If I expended resources to get myself a glass mug that I drink out of, someone shouldn’t be able to just walk over, take the mug away from me, and have the mug, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
That’s bad for society in general, right? But with ideas, I can keep on using my glass mug, right? Metaphorically speaking…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And so can you. So the only time you want the law to step in there is if nobody would bother expending their resources anymore because it wouldn’t be in their best interest.
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
But it almost always still is, right? You only really need weak copyright so that people don’t just totally steal every finished work that you produce.
Jeff:
I think…
Casey:
Beyond that…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Beyond weak copyright protection, you don’t need shit.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Patents are fucking ridiculous.
Jeff:
I…
Casey:
I have no patience for them at all.
Jeff:
I even have the opinion that we copyright is unnecessary because I think if people like something, they want to reward the people that made it. Like…
Casey:
If we had a… We could have a cultural change where that was just obviously what we did. And then yes, you wouldn’t need it anymore because people would just generally… They’d understand that that’s what they should do and it’d be fine. And to some extent, they already do.
Jeff:
I think they do because people buy Apple because it’s Apple. Like…
Casey:
Right. Yeah.
Jeff:
They will want to reward the things that they think are cool and, like…
Casey:
So if we just emphasized that and de-emphasized the copyright thing, right, and just got rid of patents altogether, it would be great.
Jeff:
Yeah, I agree.
Casey:
There’s no question about that.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Because there still is… There’s never actually been any evidence that patents actually led to more innovation.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Like, that still never actually has been proven.
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
And it seems pretty fucking obvious at this point in time.
Jeff:
Patent protection is simply a way to make up for your deficient marketing department, in my opinion.
Casey:
Well, it’s the opposite of the kind of law that you want. It’s a law that encourages people to be lazier, right?
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Because now, all they have to do is come up with an idea and patent it.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
And then, maybe they can make some money. That’s not what we want.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
We don’t want people coming up with ideas and making money off them. We want them to have to work.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
We want them to keep coming up with ideas.
Jeff:
That would be…
Casey:
Because otherwise, we took someone who had good ideas and incentivized them to not bother to come up with any more.
Jeff:
Well, worse…
Casey:
It’s like, “No, keep working!”
Jeff:
Worse, we’ve incent--…
Casey:
“Oh, you’re a coal miner?”
Jeff:
Wait.
Casey:
“You mine some coal? Okay, that’s it. You’re done. Here. Just make money off that coal forever.” It’s like… No. Go back in the mine and make more coal, bitch.
Jeff:
Yeah, the thing that pisses me off is, like… It’s worse than that. You didn’t just dis-incentivize them to make more ideas. What you’ve done is you’ve made is so that they should only do ideas and never do anything about them.
Casey:
Right. Yeah, exactly. Never…
Jeff:
Which is, like, not the hard part.
Casey:
No, it is not the hard part.
Jeff:
The hard part is everything else.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Right?
Casey:
The devil is in the details.
Jeff:
The idea is bullshit.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Right. So in that vein, we’re gonna give away 2 awesome ideas. Go make the world better with these ideas.
Casey:
Yes. These ideas are gonna be so awesome. Are they possibly even gonna be better than Google Atlas? Could it be…
Jeff:
Google Atlas is pretty good but we’ll see here.
Casey:
Alright. So here…
Jeff:
You want me to go first or you want to go now?
Casey:
’Cos you know, Google’s all about their ad placement. So, like, who gets the balls? When you’re… So the first thing I will do when they ship Google Atlas, and I hope they do, is I will scroll down to the balls, I will zoom in, and I will look at what the contextual ads are…
Jeff:
For that.
Casey:
For the balls.
Jeff:
Flomax. I’m telling you. It’s totally Flomax.
Casey:
The semen goes back into the kidneys and nobody is the wiser.
Jeff:
BIK on the Jeff & Casey Show.
Casey:
So… Okay. Do you want to go first with your idea?
Jeff:
No, because your idea is dumber.
Casey:
My idea is useful.
Jeff:
You say… Give me your idea because you told me this and the visual…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
The visual effect kills me.
Casey:
It’s Bullet Ball.
Jeff:
It started as Bullet Ball. “I spent the last 20 years of my life…”
Casey:
[ 20 years… ]
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It’s simply this. The idea is why aren’t straws longer? Straws should be longer.
Jeff:
Way long.
Casey:
Straws are too short, okay. Because here’s the thing, right, you are in your car, trying to drink something…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And even though it has a straw, you still have to use your hands. Why can’t I put a cup in the cup holder and drink from it…
Jeff:
That’s super long…
Casey:
Without using my hands?
Jeff:
So you…
Casey:
Where is the straw that goes from the cup to my house with no hand involvement? It is a hands-free straw.
Jeff:
So I was thinking that a straw that long, the volume of liquid to fill that straw, you’d probably get to the end of the liquid. It would all be in the straw.
Casey:
Straw, yeah…
Jeff:
And then, you stop sucking and it’d go all the way back down into the thing.
Casey:
Yeah. It’s a nightmare for backwashing.
Jeff:
I guess. Totally.
Casey:
Yeah. That’s probably true.
Jeff:
Okay. So Casey’s long straw, that’s idea # 1.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
You could print “Google” on the side of the straw.
Casey:
Yeah, sure. Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
Yeah, that’s one thing. Okay. My idea is better, though.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
This is a big idea. Like, this is important. It needs to be done. My idea is a cartoon called “Baby Hip-hop”.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
And what they are is all of the rap personalities…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Right? These men and women that make up the rap scene…
Casey:
The scene…
Jeff:
These national treasures…
Casey:
East and West Coast…
Jeff:
Right. East, West Coast…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Baby-style, like Baby Muppets…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Baby Flintstones, all of them… I want Baby Tupac. I want Baby Biggie.
Casey:
Right, right. I see.
Jeff:
I want Baby Biggie. I want all of them in there. And I want them…
Casey:
It’s not 2-pack. It’s Tupac, right?
Jeff:
Did I say 2-pack?
Casey:
2-pack. A 2-pack is when you get two things in one package.
Jeff:
Oh, I see.
Casey:
It’s a 2-pack, like Twinkies is a 2-pack.
Jeff:
Yeah, that’s right. Tupac…
Casey:
I think it’s Tupac, right?
Jeff:
It is Tupac.
Casey:
Which is interesting to me…
Jeff:
It’s not really… You’re kind of putting the stress on the Tupac…
Casey:
Tupac. But Pac, in this case, is spelled the same way as Pacman, right? Does that mean it’s Pacman?
Jeff:
Pacman?
Casey:
Is that true?
Jeff:
No. I think Pacman would be, like, he’s…
Casey:
He’s a Jewish rapper?
Jeff:
No, he’s gangster little yellow guy.
Casey:
Oh, right, right, right.
Jeff:
Anyway, Baby Hip-hop…
Casey:
And what sorts of things do they do on this show?
Jeff:
Well, it’s just… That’s not important.
Casey:
Oh.
Jeff:
The important part is to get those personalities shrunk down with big heads. I want Baby Snoop.
Casey:
But they still say shit like “hoes”.
Jeff:
Oh, yeah. Totally.
Casey:
And like…
Jeff:
Yeah, yeah…
Casey:
They’re sitting around…
Jeff:
Almost everything…
Casey:
All the female babies are in diapers and, like, a diaper top.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
As well or something…
Jeff:
Their [ big wheels ] have spinner rims. I want it all. I want it all, the entire…
Casey:
That’s pretty awesome.
Jeff:
Yeah. Alright. So that’s our ideas for the week.
Casey:
It’s not long straw awesome but it’s awesome, I guess.
Jeff:
Maybe if they had really, like, gold-plated long straws, you know, they’re kicking back in their Escalade, sucking on a long straw with my shorties on my side.
Casey:
I still don’t know what a shorty is. You said it was like a honey.
Jeff:
Mmhmm…
Casey:
But I don’t understand why you’d call it short.
Jeff:
I believe the reason why it’s called short…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Is because it’s implied that a shorty is someone you are with for a short time like overnight.
Casey:
Oh. You didn’t say that last time.
Jeff:
I’m just saying I believe that’s what it is.
Casey:
Okay. So basically…
Jeff:
I want [ a gang ]…
Casey:
Your shorty is not gonna be a long-term girlfriend?
Jeff:
Right. I believe that…
Casey:
Right. She’s not a shorty.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right? One of your wives is not necessarily a shorty. Or maybe they are.
Jeff:
I am a Whitey Bird but I believe that’s what it means.
Casey:
A shorty is a fling.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
An [inaudible 17:37]
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
“I’m looking for a dime.”
Casey:
Okay. That’s fine.
Jeff:
I believe that’s Baby Hip-hop right there.
Casey:
So, we gotta rewind the stack massively now.
Jeff:
Baby 5-Cent.
Casey:
Because we went everywhere with that…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Which is back to retrogade…
Jeff:
Oh, yeah, retrogade.
Casey:
All the way back to retrogade.
Jeff:
Right. We do have a retrogade. Well, I guess he’s not…
Casey:
He’s… I don’t know what you would classify him as.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
But you sent me a link…
Jeff:
As I do.
Casey:
And the headline of this link was, “Gay Ex-Governor Says He’s Too Poor to Pay Alimony”.
Jeff:
He’s a deadbeat gay.
Casey:
That was the link. And this was in New Jersey.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
I guess… So, I don’t know. I imagine…
Jeff:
“Oh…”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
“That guy who fought the alimony. What? Oh…”
Casey:
Wow. That is the worst.
Jeff:
That’s the best that I can do.
Casey:
That is horrible.
Jeff:
I’ve never been to New Jersey.
Casey:
I can tell.
Jeff:
Give me New Jersey.
Casey:
That wasn’t…
Jeff:
Can you give me some Princeton, New Jersey?
Casey:
Princeton, New Jersey is like a mixed back, right, ‘cos it’s all college kids.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
So they can be from anywhere.
Jeff:
That’s true.
Casey:
Like, I think like, the Prince of Saudi Arabia was in the graduating class…
Jeff:
Really?
Casey:
At Princeton at the time and stuff like that. Like, that’s… You know, it’s Princeton, right?
Jeff:
So I imagine, like, the townies versus the Princeton…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Has got to be the craziest clash of all time.
Casey:
At some point, I think I met, like… You know… I don’t remember, it was like Sarah Smucker or something, right. And it just is Smucker. And there was a Mary Firestone. And it is Firestone, right. It’s like…
Jeff:
Smucker’s a person?
Casey:
Apparently.
Jeff:
Wow. Mrs. Smucker.
Casey:
I may be misremembering these things. I just remember there were these… A lot of these things where it was like, “Here’s a person…”
Jeff:
So the frat boys are like, “I totally fucked Smuck. Totally.”
Casey:
Yeah, if they can remember who it was.
Jeff:
Yeah, that’s true. Smucker…
Casey:
They’re just like, “Ah, no. It was the… I got 2 Fortune 500’s in the bag now, baby.” I don’t know how that all works but… Point being…
Jeff:
There was a merger.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Not an acquisition.
Casey:
It was a good night for M&A.
Jeff:
That’s right.
Casey:
T&A and M&A. So, I don't know what the situation is with this guy except that basically…
Jeff:
So, wait…
Casey:
Somehow, he went from being the Governor of New Jersey…
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Which I guess is not that prestigious but he went from being the Governor of New Jersey to living with his boyfriend who supports him now.
Jeff:
Yeah, that’s awesome.
Casey:
So he is not the breadwinner. He was the Governor…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Of a state.
Jeff:
And now…
Casey:
An entire state…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And now…
Jeff:
I was…
Casey:
He is unable to pay alimony. That is where we’re at with him.
Jeff:
Right. I just thought it was funny that you had this guy that was presumably the most powerful guy in New Jersey and he’s now being, like… He’s now being bankrolled by his boyfriend who, like… All I can think of is, like, how reversed is your entire worldview…
Casey:
Well, this guy…
Jeff:
I guess maybe it’s not that different. You’re living off the [ taxpayers ]…
Casey:
This guy’s got issues, though. This guy’s got issues, there’s no question about that because his wife claimed that she was duped into marrying him because he was just trying to get a wife so he could run for governor.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Right? Like, it was just like a cover-up marriage.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
That’s what she’s claiming. But he is claiming that she should’ve known that he was gay because it should’ve been obvious.
Jeff:
I would like to see the arguments in court…
Casey:
Like… Okay…
Jeff:
Like, “How many times did you see the governor watch ‘Will & Grace'? Did he watch reruns or just first runs?”
Casey:
Exactly.
Jeff:
“Because if he watched re-runs, he’s a fan…” Right?
Casey:
They would have, like, expert testimony. And, you know, the lawyer kind of would get up there and be like, “Now, how long has your gay-dar been operational?”
Jeff:
Right. That would be her counter-thing is, like, “You can’t prevent me from getting money when I didn’t notice my husband was gay because I have a medical condition which is deficient gay-dar.”
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
“And that would be an [ ADA ]…” Like, it would keep getting stacked on with, like, more and more…
Casey:
Ridiculous testimony…
Jeff:
Like, constitutional…
Casey:
Absolutely…
Jeff:
Yes. Yeah.
Casey:
Absolutely.
Jeff:
But it’s going to be massively entertaining so… Yeah, so now, he does nothing. He sits at home. He watches his stories and his boyfriend takes care of him.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
It’s been a long fall for the Governor of New Jersey although the taxpayers took care of him before. So maybe it’s not a big thing.
Casey:
I’m assuming… Do we want to wager… ‘Cos I don’t know and the article does not say but I can trivially search to find out.
Jeff:
Alright. What are we…
Casey:
Republican…
Jeff:
Or Democrat?
Casey:
Or Democrat?
Jeff:
I don’t think there’s any betting there. I’m…
Casey:
Because it’s New Jersey which, although they do sometimes have Republican governors, tends to elect Democrats for their congress positions.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Sometimes they don’t. But, you know…
Jeff:
New York and New Jersey have that funny thing where a lot of times, they have local Democrats and then state-wide Republicans which is kinda weird.
Casey:
So you’re gonna guess?
Jeff:
I’m saying Republican.
Casey:
Democrat.
Jeff:
Really? He’s a… Oh, wow. Okay.
Casey:
See, I was a little… I was worried about that because I was like…
Jeff:
Because of the…
Casey:
Because I was like, “It’s New Jersey, so it’s possible,” right? If this was in the South…
Jeff:
It could be…
Casey:
Republican.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Right? You just know.
Jeff:
Are there any…
Casey:
If it’s, like, Georgia or Texas or whatever, yeah, definitely Republican.
Jeff:
The Democrats just left those states, right? They’re just like, “Fuck this.”
Casey:
I don’t know what they did to them. Yeah, I don’t fucking know what the Democrats do these days.
Jeff:
It’s a little crazy.
Casey:
Besides suck.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
It’s a little crazy out there.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
It is pretty crazy.
Casey:
Having Howard Dean disease and various other problems… That was a good Howard…
Jeff:
That was a good Howard Dean?
Casey:
I like that.
Jeff:
The roar?
Casey:
It was kind of more a Wookie thing if I remember, though.
Jeff:
Yeah, it was a little Chewbacca.
Casey:
It’s like…
Jeff:
It was like…
Casey:
Yeah. Totally.
Jeff:
In one funny sound, he blew the whole thing. It’s like…
Casey:
You think? I mean, I just never got the sense that he was interesting at all because…
Jeff:
I think he doesn’t roar. He may have lost still but I think he’s the nominee.
Casey:
Really? You think so?
Jeff:
I think it came down to the roar.
Casey:
’Cos he struck me… I would basically say this is usually, I get a sense from politicians…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
As to whether or not they are the kind of people who command a room, if that makes sense.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
And if I don’t get that sense from someone, these days, it doesn’t seem like they’ve got a chance, right?
Jeff:
Yeah, that might be true.
Casey:
Because there’s things about, like, winning the Presidential Election. There’s more to it than that because usually, both candidates can do that. So it ends up coming down to other things like their charisma or whatever…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Certainly not whether they’re gonna be any good at running the country, though.
Jeff:
Right, right.
Casey:
That’s not an option.
Jeff:
That’s off…
Casey:
But Howard Dean struck me as someone who wouldn’t even be the alpha dog in a room. It was really weird. I was like, “I don’t understand…” This is weird because to be in politics (and especially up as high as he was, right) you have to kind of…
Jeff:
And he is.
Casey:
You’re usually… He still is, right?
Jeff:
He still… He’s actually, like, the second most powerful guy, right?
Casey:
Exactly. You have to kind of be an alpha dog, right? You know, I mean, that’s kind of what that is, right? Politics is alpha. That’s what it is, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And so, rarely do you look at someone and you’re like, “Wow, I’m not getting that vibe at all.” I’m like, “You’re the bitch in the room.” That is… Like, I know that. Like, if Howard Dean was in this room right here, I would not be taking him seriously, right? I’d be like, “Yeah, whatever, dude. Shut the fuck up and let’s finish this podcast,” right? I’d just know that… I’d have that sense about is this somebody who I’m gonna take an order from. And when you know that you’re not, it’s just like, “You’re not gonna be president…”
Jeff:
Yeah, it’s…
Casey:
“Sorry. Unless the field is so fucking weak, you’re not gonna be,” right?
Jeff:
I don’t know. I felt similarly but not about him but about Carey where it’s… I didn’t feel like…
Casey:
He’s not that good, either.
Jeff:
Yeah. Yeah.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
There’s just something about him that didn’t feel like he could pull off that, you know… Like, if he asked you to do something…
Casey:
You’d be like, “No.”
Jeff:
You’d be like, “Umm… What do I get?” Rather than, “Yes, sir.” Right?
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So, I don’t know. Yeah…
Casey:
You know, to be honest with you, Democrats have this problem a lot, right? Like, Republicans don’t that often nominate non-alpha’s…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Like, Bob Dole, they did, right? And it’s just like… Jesus Christ. But I think they just knew…
Jeff:
Bob Dole was the first… He was the first candidate on Flomax, right?
Casey:
That could be true.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
I don’t kind of blame them for doing the Bob Dole thing because they probably were just checked out of that race anyway because it was, like.. It was Bill Clinton, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Who alpha’s the shit out of everybody, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
He’s like, “I will tell you what to do and I’m gonna fuck your women.”
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Right? It’s like, “I am alpha-ing everything.”
Jeff:
And like…
Casey:
“Yeah, anything I want,” right? I will.
Jeff:
And I’ll give to you.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And you’ll be strangely okay with it.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Right? So that’s one of the…
Jeff:
He’ good.
Casey:
Exactly. He’s pretty smooth. So I don’t blame them for checking out because they didn’t have a prayer.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
There’s just no way they’re gonna win that election. It just wasn’t gonna happen, right, ‘cos the nation had already been felt up by Bill and they liked it, right?
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
So…
Jeff:
The only thing derailing Bill at that point is, like, you know, getting stuck overnight in the campaign trail the same day as, like, the Women’s Volleyball Camp. Like, it would’ve had to have been the mega scandal that did that.
Casey:
Well, this… You know what, and this is the thing, too. This was the big disappointment of Bill Clinton’s presidency. I mean, obviously, all the policy fuck ups were big disappointment but ignoring those, just talking about, like, in terms of his personal leadership, right, was absolutely the fact that he did not read the sex thing right. Like, I…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Maybe I’m totally on crack here and that’s totally possible but, like, the nation had bought into him as somebody who fucks everybody, right? They bought into that. When the Monica Lewinsky sex scandal came up, if he had just said… It’s like, “Yes, I did the intern. And I’m the fucking president. I’ll do any intern I goddamn want,” it would’ve been over. Like, that would’ve just been it. It would’ve been forgotten the next day and everyone would be like, “Man, he is so fucking alpha,” right? Men would be like, “Wow.” There’d be Republican men who’d be like, “Sweet. That guy has got a huge fucking cock,” right? But he didn’t do that. He tried to be all weasel-y about it, right?
Jeff:
That was…
Casey:
And he… That’s the weakness, right?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Don’t show the weakness.
Jeff:
Just say…
Casey:
Whatever… I don’t care how bad it was, the thing you did, right?
Jeff:
“Yeah, I fucked her. I’d do it again.”
Casey:
Yeah, it’s like, “I fucking do that shit all the time.”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
“You guys want to make a big deal about an intern? You have no idea the people I fucking sleep with.”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right? “I wish Margaret Thatcher was still in office ‘cos there’d be some fucking diplomacy going on, if you know what I’m saying. It’s a sausage fest at the UN. I am bored shitless. Let’s get it on,” right? That is what he needed to say.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
But he tried to end up doing the puritan thing. It’s like, “Bill, you’re not… That shit’s not gonna fly, son.”
Jeff:
I think… Yeah, I agree with you. That was a mistake. I think the biggest thing is, like, people actually prefer a redemption story, not a “let’s talk technicalities” story.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
If you start talking technicalities, you’re lost, right?
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
People think you’re guilty. Period.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
It doesn’t matter if you’re… It even doesn’t matter if you did it or not. Same thing with Roger Clement.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Like, you just say, “Yeah, I did it. I did it for my teammates. I wanted to win.”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Done. Over. You know, you’re in the hall of fame.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Now, it’s all fucked up because he tried to say he didn’t do it.
Casey:
Right. “I did… Well, I sort of… I didn’t impale…”
Jeff:
Like, “Yes, I fucked her. Yeah. Did you see her ass? It’s huge. It was awesome.”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
“I am sorry.”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
“I had a moment of weakness. I did it. It was worth it.” Done. People would’ve been like, “Fine.”
Casey:
But I’m going one further than that.
Jeff:
Yeah, I know you’re going one further.
Casey:
You’re saying spin it as, like, “Sorry, I messed up a little bit here.” I’m saying… Okay, let me bring in some more data, okay?
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
I don’t think anyone would argue that, like, our current president’s tenure has been filled with nothing but mistakes.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right? But he got by for a long time, right?
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
And he got by by getting this fact, right? It’s like, “Hey, you know, why did you appoint a room full of Nazis to run our…” Well, that’s not really true because he’s got high ranking Jewish people, I guess, in his thing. So that would be a bad example. But I’m just saying, like, “Why did you do this obviously really bad thing,” right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And it’d be something that he would just cop to immediately and say, “That’s the way I do it.”
Jeff:
Right. “That’s the way I roll.”
Casey:
And it got him by a huge amount of time.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So he could appoint a bunch of Nazis and he’d be like, “’Cos I fucking wanted to is why I did it.”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
“Shut up.” And it got him a long-ass leash for a bunch of shit that he never should have been able to do.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So Bill Clinton who didn’t have nearly as many fuck ups as he did should’ve gone with that strategy and I think it would’ve been easy for him…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Because he wasn’t… He didn’t preside over a presidency that had so many problems.
Jeff:
Right. Right.
Casey:
You know? That’s all I’m trying to say.
Jeff:
Yeah, I agree. I think… I mean, we knew that he was going to pander early on with the whole, “I didn’t inhale,” thing, all that stuff.
Casey:
That was a mistake, too, yeah. Right.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And it’s just, hey, people have weaknesses, sometimes. They don’t want to say… They either don’t want to come off as too awful or they just… They think it will be spun wrong. So…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
The Obama thing was awesome where, like, “Hey did you smoke?” Yeah, and that was the point, like, “Of course, I inhaled, “ right
Casey:
Yeah. Well, see, he’s learning. He learned from that experience, right?
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Because as long as you… I think mostly the people you’re talking to in a political arena, possibly always but at least these days, right, you’re in a situation where there’s a reason why you’re president and they’re not. It’s because they don’t want to or know how to or believe they can run the country, right?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
They’re not in politics, most of the people who are listening to you talk at any given time, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So by and large, you just need to emphatically state that what you’re doing is correct, first and foremost, right?
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Any time you deviate from that path, then they’re going to assume that it wasn’t, right? If you sort of, like, lay out a bunch of sort of wishy-washy things there, then they’re going to pick up on that fact even if the thing wasn’t all that wishy-washy. So trying to smooth it over seems like never a good idea.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Just come out and be like…
Jeff:
“That’s the way it is.”
Casey:
“This is the way it should go.” And most people would be like, “Okay. I guess that’s the way it should go.” Right? I mean, I just feel like that’s been proven time and time again…
Jeff:
That’s why it’s awesome to be the president. Yeah.
Casey:
That you just make believe that was the right thing to do and suddenly it is, right?
Jeff:
Well, certainly, the last 7 years have proved that if you keep insisting something is true, eventually, a good percent of the population’s gonna believe it, right?
Casey:
Well, that’s a different thing, though…
Jeff:
There’s…
Casey:
Than what I’m talking about…
Jeff:
But it’s…
Casey:
The Big Lie Theory has been around for a lot more than the last 7 years, right? Obviously, but…
Jeff:
But I think rarely has it been used so exclusively, right? Like, this is their only strategy…
Casey:
The only tactic they have is repetition.
Jeff:
Because the only thing they’ve done is fuck up, right?
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
You can’t… Like, they probably have lots of other strategies and you’re like, “Well, we’ve never used the one where we did something right.”
Casey:
Right. Right.
Jeff:
“You know, in 8 years, we…”
Casey:
Publicize the success…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
“Somehow we don’t know how effective that strategy works because we’ve never actually had to employ it.”
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Maybe they’re really bad at that, you know.
Casey:
They’d be terrible at [inaudible 34:04] their successes.
Jeff:
Yeah, exactly.
Casey:
Awesome.
Jeff:
Alright, so that was another… Alright, so that is retro-gade…
Casey:
There was a good Alternative Radio lecture on… No, you know what, I take that back. It was not a good lecture.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
It was a part of the lecture that was good.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
The lecture itself was bad which was just talking about the Orwellian… They were giving a sampling of how many Orwellian phrases there are that the Bush presidency has used.
Jeff:
Oh, really?
Casey:
And by Orwellian, I mean the phrases that are… When they want to do something that’s unpopular, they just call it the thing that would’ve been popular but leave the policy the same, right? So, like, the Clean Air Act or whatever, like, something that pollutes, they just call it the name of the thing. The [ USA Patriot ] Act, whatever, right?
Jeff:
Marriage Protection Act.
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. They just have all…
Jeff:
They’re like, “What? Marriage? What? Why? Marriage is under attack? By who? What?”
Casey:
Right. Yeah. Yeah.
Jeff:
“Gays? What? They want to be married.”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
“It’s not under attack.”
Casey:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jeff:
“It’s under endorsement. What the fuck?”
Casey:
Right. Right. It’s one of those things where… Right. It’s the marriage attack, right?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It’s like, we’re trying to prevent marriages from happening.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Anyway, one of the things… So…
Jeff:
It’s a retro-gade…
Casey:
It was just striking how many there were, right?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It was incredibly… Alan Dershowitz had a good thing about marriage, by the way, that was interesting, that he was talking about.
Jeff:
He’s kind of a…
Casey:
Feisty little fellow.
Jeff:
Funny old… Yeah.
Casey:
Yeah. But he had a good point which was… And I think it’s been made before but he was basically just saying that it’s weird, the whole marriage thing. He’s like, “I kind of totally agree with them,” right, “Yeah, marriage should be… You know, the sanctity of marriage and the Sacrament and all that shit is totally true, right? It should be a religious thing.Meaning…
Jeff:
Get the government out of it.
Casey:
There should be no such thing as marriage in any law anywhere.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It should be like… There is such a thing as a civil union that you can get and it’s whatever the things are that normally happen like power of attorney, right? So u just have a contract that’s that thing and you could sign it between anybody.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
You and your little brother if you fucking want to. Nobody cares, right? It’s just like, it’s a thing that you can get that’s a standard contract and that’s it.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
And that makes perfect sense, right?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Churches can do marriages and churches can pick if it can only be between a dwarf and a 7-foot tall Amazon, fine…
Jeff:
Fine.
Casey:
If that’s your church’s definition of marriage, great. Go for it.
Jeff:
Yeah. I think the reason why they do it is for the same reason that the Catholics and the Mormons have noticed is that encouraging people to have kids is good for your strength in terms of what you’re going to extract from them tax-wise or tithe-wise.
Casey:
Yes, exactly.
Jeff:
Reproduce and multiply and bring it on back…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
To Father Bob and his sidekick, Jimmy.
Casey:
And not just the money but they’re producing lots of tasty little boys.
Jeff:
Yeah, exactly.
Casey:
At the rectory.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
There’s a reason it starts with the phrase, “rect”.
Jeff:
Now, you started out going to Catholic school.
Casey:
I was raised Catholic, that’s correct.
Jeff:
So you had the whole… Did you take… Did you do the Sacrament thing?
Casey:
When you said “did you take” and there was a pause, I was like, “Whew, getting into repressed memories.”
Jeff:
“Pork & pumpkin. Pork & pumpkin.”
Casey:
Yeah. No, I was never sodomized by a priest, if that’s what you’re asking.
Jeff:
No, like, when… You’re, like, 5 and you take the Sacrament, right, or you’re 7…
Casey:
You’re talking about the Eucharist.
Jeff:
Is that what it’s called.
Casey:
Am I correct? When you have the body of Christ in a little wafer, in a convenient wafer form?
Jeff:
Well, then, you’re… Well, I think until you have your Sacrament, you’re not allowed to, as a kid, take that until you’re a certain age, right?
Casey:
That’s called Communion, First Communion.
Jeff:
Okay, First Communion. Yeah, that’s it.
Casey:
Is that what you’re referring to?
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Yeah. The Eucharist is what you’re talking about. It’s a little wafer that’s…
Jeff:
Did you have your First Communion?
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
I had First Communion and I had…
Jeff:
So you’re golden. Like, once you have that, like, that means right at the last minute, if you see…
Casey:
No. That’s baptism, which obviously, yes, I did have.
Jeff:
Oh, okay. You were baptized, as well.
Casey:
I assume. I guess… Obviously, you know, I can’t remember my baptism, you know, I’m a little baby…
Jeff:
You’re golden.
Casey:
So… ‘Cos I think most religions that are Christian, once you’re baptized, I think you’re pretty good to go.
Jeff:
You’re in the club?
Casey:
Right? Like, you get… That’s kind of, like, you know, your low-level membership. So at some level, you’re gonna get something.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right? You might not get much ‘cos you haven’t progressed up the Amway ladder at that point but you’re gonna get something.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So I’ve got that. But no, I went… Basically, they have a thing at… I don’t know what it is. Let’s say 15 or 14… I don’t know, somewhere at 12, whatever it is…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Called Confirmation. And Confirmation is actually like a sentient process, right?
Jeff:
I see. You have to make the choice.
Casey:
So you talk to some member, a deacon or a priest or… I don’t know how it works exactly. I don’t remember. And they ask you if you want to be, you know, sort of ceremonially… If you want to be a member of the church, right?
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
And I told my parents… I was like, “Just so you know…”
Jeff:
“The answer is…”
Casey:
“I’m going to say no. So we can call it off now…”
Jeff:
“If you don’t want to be embarrassed.”
Casey:
“Or we can call it off then.”
Jeff:
“Whichever you prefer…”
Casey:
Right. And they weren’t super hard-lined about it largely because my dad kind of always thought it was a load of horseshit.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
He’s an engineer, right? And my mom was kind of more doing it because, you know…
Jeff:
It’s what you do.
Casey:
I mean, they were 1st-time parents so…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
She didn’t want to do something that would be a bad idea, right?
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
You know, who knows, right? So neither of them sort of had the normal vested interest…
Jeff:
In the religion.
Casey:
In a Christian upbringing…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
That would have led to an altercation at this point.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
That wasn’t gonna happen. So they were just like, “Alright.”
Jeff:
“Fine.” Yeah.
Casey:
It was not even an issue. It was not a thing, right. And then, from that point on until today, basically, it has been a constant linear increase in my father’s enjoyment of saying how much religion sucks.
Jeff:
You’ve empowered him.
Casey:
Right? It’s like he would never have said that while I was still going to CCD and all that, right?
Jeff:
What’s CCD?
Casey:
It’s Sunday school but they don’t call it Sunday school in Catholicism. It’s some abbreviation…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
I don’t remember what it’s for. Central City Dump is what the kids say…
Jeff:
Central City Dump…
Casey:
The Catholic kids just because they’re too shitty at making up new acronyms. Like, I’m sure nowadays I’d come up with something much better than that but that was the standard thing that kids said at that time.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Yeah. And CCD is just Sunday school but that’s what they call it for Catholics.
Jeff:
I got you.
Casey:
And they… So I went to that up until the confirmation thing so I went [ to that. ] Now, the nice thing about that is you get the information about the Bible and that sort of thing during these studies, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And it’s kind of nice because looking back, I guess I could probably say that I could’ve skipped all that, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Because I am a very strong-willed individual. But I think for people who might have been on the fence, it’s better to do that because now, you know that it’s a crock of shit. Whereas if you didn’t have that, later in life, maybe…
Jeff:
You might wonder…
Casey:
You would be thinking…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
“I wonder if I’m missing religion from my life.”
Jeff:
Right. Okay.
Casey:
Right? So it helps to just know back when you were a kid and had nothing to do anyway, sit around with your [ thumb up your ass ] and watch television, to spend the time to find out that religion is bullshit…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So that you know…
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Going forwards, right?
Jeff:
I went to Sunday school for one year.
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
And I had an annoying experience.
Casey:
What faith was that?
Jeff:
What were we? I don’t remember. Presbyterian, I guess.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
I guess… Yeah, I guess Presbyterian. It was one year. Like, we moved back to Utah and we went to Presbyterian and we had a thing where if you read 8 Books of the Bible, then you could go to Lagoon.
Casey:
What’s that?
Jeff:
Lagoon’s like the Utah amusement park.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
With roller coasters and shit.
Casey:
So when you say you could go to Lagoon, everyone would know what that is if they were from Utah.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
But nobody else out of Utah would have any idea what the fuck you just said.
Jeff:
Everyone knows what Lagoon is.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
I have many stories about Lagoon.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Yeah. And so…
Casey:
And it’s just an expected thing, like lots of kids will do it? Or is this like…
Jeff:
Yeah, most of the kids… ‘Cos 8 books, like… Hey, you have to go. So I can read really fast…
Casey:
I know this about you.
Jeff:
And especially…
Casey:
You are speed-reader.
Jeff:
And especially in the first couple of weeks, I can remember everything.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Like, I can remember where the words are on the page.
Casey:
So you have good photographic memory for book pages.
Jeff:
Well, just spatially, like… How I remember the book when I’m reading it somehow works spatially. I can remember the sentence might start in the middle of the page and then stop at the beginning of the next, like, weird things like that.
Casey:
So what happened…
Jeff:
But that fades really quick.
Casey:
Not to interrupt the story too much but what happened from the time when you could remember pages of the Bible to today when I end up with 500-pound squirrel attacks tyrannosaurus and you’re like, “No, it’s a true story. I read it on RSS.”
Jeff:
Because it’s awesome…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
And… There’s 2 reasons. One is the internet happened…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
In which case, there’s no reading… Like, there’s no reading…
Casey:
It totally ruined your attention span or what?
Jeff:
Like, that’s the thing when they’re like, “Oh, we need computers in the classrooms.” I know you fucking don’t. Do you know how dumb I’d be if there was internet in my classroom? Holy shit balls. Anyway, so I read the whole thing over 2 weekends.
Casey:
What do you mean the whole thing?
Jeff:
The whole Bible. I blasted through it.
Casey:
Ridiculous.
Jeff:
Read the whole thing. And there were lots of words I don’t…
Casey:
It’s a long fucking book, dude.
Jeff:
Like, a lot of people read… Well, just the New Testament, I should say. I’m sorry. The whole fucking thing being the New Testament.
Casey:
Still a big book.
Jeff:
Yeah. There’s a good narrative in the… Like, the Old Testament has a lot of individual stories that are harder.
Casey:
right.
Jeff:
Whereas the New Testament, you can follow a linear story.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
So it’s a little bit more readable as a work of fiction.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Anyway.
Casey:
But that’s ‘cos the New Testament’s, like, probably at most, what, 100 years of history?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And the Old Testament’s, like, 5,000 years of history. Right.
Jeff:
Yes, exactly.
Casey:
And by history, I mean bullshit. But…
Jeff:
Nevertheless, right…
Casey:
It came from 5,000 years of time.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right? As opposed to a very short period between, you know, when Jesus died and when they relatively calcified the main books of it.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
Anyway, so read it. And it came to the time when we were supposed to fill it and I said I read it. And the teacher didn’t believe me. And first off, it’s annoying that you’re like, “Okay, wouldn’t I go straight to hell if I lied at Sunday school?”
Casey:
Right. Right.
Jeff:
Like what kind of idiot would I have to be?
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And then she’s like, “Well, what is this book about?” I told her. And I said, “No, I can remember this. Like, start a sentence and I’ll finish it.” And she started it, I finished it. And I said, “It’s on the bottom right of the page.” And I swear to God, she thought I was like the anti-Christ.
Casey:
Whoa.
Jeff:
She knew I was right. She was bothered by it.
Casey:
Is freaking out, yeah…
Jeff:
And this was, like, one of the first times that I could see… I have specific moments as I was growing up where I realized that adults were full of shit.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Like, I once…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
I remember once, in a Calculus class, taking a test and I’m like, “Shit. I’m so unprepared for this class.”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
I just didn’t turn the test in. Okay.
Casey:
What?
Jeff:
I just didn’t turn it… I wasn’t gonna turn in one I [ didn’t know ].
Casey:
Sure.
Jeff:
I’m just like, “Fuck it.” Teacher calls and says, “Where’s your test?” And I went, “I turned it in.” And he’s like, “Alright. I’ll look for it.” I got an 89% on that test. Now, that’s what I got in the rest of the class…
Casey:
What?
Jeff:
He just chose that. I’m like…
Casey:
’Cos he’s like, “Oh, I guess I lost this kid’s test. I don’t want to admit it…”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
“So I’ll just give him whatever his average was.” Unreal.
Jeff:
Big turning point in my life. Then you’re just like, “Teachers/adults are exactly like we are. They are fucked up. They lie. They do… Everything…” And there’s specific points. One of them was the teacher that was, like, less impressed that I was good at reading and memory than the fact that I could be someone creepy little Damian kid…
Casey:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jeff:
And so, yeah, we didn’t go back the next year.
Casey:
You should have fed on that.
Jeff:
Suffice it to say.
Casey:
You should have preyed on that fear. I would’ve been preying on that fear hard.
Jeff:
Yeah. Well, not only that. My mom ended up doing most of the decorations for the church.
Casey:
“I see your future.”
Jeff:
She did great big stained glass windows that are still in that church today.
Casey:
Wow.
Jeff:
And she did all these great big works of art for it and everything. But yeah, we didn’t go back the next year. So that was it. I only had… I had basically 6 months, when we moved back to Utah, of Sunday school. And then, my Sundays were totally free to goof around.
Casey:
I don’t remember… I think they were on Sundays that we went to… I don’t remember… But it might not have been. It might have been nights. I’m trying to remember when we went. It’s something once a week, though, I think.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And I do remember one amusing incident that… I don’t even know why I remember this but in the church… Like, at one point, we had to illustrate a scene from the Bible. Like, you know, you’re kids. You had, like, crayons or whatever.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And you draw some scene from the Bible, right? You can pick whatever you wanted. And so, like, church is really, really boring, right? This is the interesting thing about church. Well, there’s a couple… There’s lots of… [inaudible 48:22] There’s millions of interesting things about church, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Some of the interesting things are it’s to--… Your brain knows that it’s a waste of your time.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right? You are fighting your brain the entire time. And some people are like, “No, no, no. You’re just going to the wrong church.” No.
Jeff:
They’re all like that.
Casey:
That’s not true, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Your brain knows that it is a waste of your time, right?
Jeff:
It’s a test of stamina.
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. So when you’re in church, at least for me, I have a lot of time to look around the church, right? I like to look around at buildings and so on and that sort of thing. So I was looking around and whatever. And so, I knew what all of the illustrations and artwork were that they had in the actual church. So we were down at the basement, doing the CCD class, right, they have little classrooms down there or whatever. They were like, “Illustrate a scene from the Bible.” So I drew one of the ones that was upstairs in the church, right?
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
It’s called the 3rd fall. And it’s the 3rd time that Jesus trips with the cross when he’s on his way to get crucified, right? ‘Cos they made him carry it, as anyone who’s a good Mel Gibson film critic knows, right?
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
So I drew this. I got to draw a little Christ tripping with his cross flying out. I think the cross was not really well to scale in my drawing. You know, it was, like, this tiny little thing.
Jeff:
There was a little banana under his foot?
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. And the teacher was like, “What’s that?” And I’m like, “It’s Jesus falling with the cross.” And she’s like, “Well, that’s kind of mean, you know. You shouldn’t draw him falling with the cross. He had to carry it up,” and I’m like, “It’s upstairs. It is upstairs. An artist was commissioned to make this for your fucking church.”
Jeff:
Awesome.
Casey:
“Did you ever bother to look around? What else were you doing when we were in church?”
Jeff:
Not looking…
Casey:
“There’s nothing else to do. How did you miss this one? And plus, it’s not like I had to read into what was happening. And it’s my interpretation of some mosaic of a thing. It says, ‘The 3rd Fall’ in big fucking letters under the carving.”
Jeff:
That’s awesome.
Casey:
You can’t miss it.
Jeff:
The Fall part 3.
Casey:
Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Anyway…
Jeff:
Make it The Fall 33 and a third, right? It’s like… The sequel about…
Casey:
“If you thought you saw him fall the first time and the second time you thought he would never land, but none of that has prepared you for the third time. Some dumbass from 0 AD trips over his own fucking shoes and lands on the ground.”
Jeff:
That’s awesome.
Casey:
Well, not 0 AD. I guess at that point it would be 30 AD?
Jeff:
32? I guess He was…
Casey:
How old was He?
Jeff:
32 or something like that.
Casey:
Power of 2? Bummer to go out in a power of 2. God, I hate that ‘cos if you could just make it to the next power of 2, you’d have another 32 years. That’s the thing, right?
Jeff:
That’s the first one that might give you some good action.
Casey:
Yeah. Well, no, each one does. Each one lets you live twice as long.
Jeff:
That’s true.
Casey:
That’s the funny thing about a power of 2, Jeff.
Jeff:
Yeah, hate that action.
Casey:
Yeah. Relative to your previous…
Jeff:
So we’re so off-topic. Where did we start with?
Casey:
The ex-governor says he’s too poor to pay alimony.
Jeff:
Okay. What’s next? What’s the next on our line? Let’s get back on topic.
Casey:
Well, we don’t have much time left.
Jeff:
We’re doing it.
Casey:
We don’t have much time left.
Jeff:
Do it.
Casey:
So basically, I’m just skipping straight to my favorite one that we had written down which of course is… They’re all from links you sent me.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
That’s what the podcast is, it’s links you send me.
Jeff:
Links from Jeff.
Casey:
“Links from Jeff” should be the name of this show.
Jeff:
TM.
Casey:
The headline is, “Three Accused of Using Corpse Head to Smoke Pot”.
Jeff:
That’s right. I totally…
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
Yeah, that was an awesome one.
Casey:
Now, basically, it’s exactly what the headline says.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Some people dug up a body, removed the skull and used it as a bong.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
End of story. There is no qualification that needs to happen. They smoked pot out of someone’s decapitated rotted head.
Jeff:
Head, right.
Casey:
Period.
Jeff:
Yep. Now, the…
Casey:
Now, the odd thing is this is not a unique occurrence.
Jeff:
Right. That was the thing you were shocked by because I was like, “This is…”
Casey:
No. I was shocked by both of these things.
Jeff:
Well, okay. Shocked twice but when I said…
Casey:
Not because they’re dead. It’s like, whatever. It’s a skull. Great. Right? Hamlet had a whole soliloquy to one.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
All you’re doing is smoking pot out of it.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It’s not that unusual.
Jeff:
Right. That is a stoner’s soliloquy.
Casey:
But in my mind, it’s fucking gross. I don’t want to touch that shit, right? I don’t care what you’re… It’s like… Eh… Like, aren’t you getting diseases and necrotic… I don’t want to touch that, right? Obviously, no compunctions here. They’re like, “Hmmm… This is gonna be great weed.”
Jeff:
“This is gonna be awesome.”
Casey:
So anyway… Wait, isn’t there a show called “Weeds” or something that’s about a funeral home?
Jeff:
No, it’s about a woman who sells pot.
Casey:
Okay. Never mind.
Jeff:
You’re thinking of “6 Feet Under”.
Casey:
Oh, sorry. Okay.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I got my show times or whatever conflated.
Jeff:
My show times in your HBO.
Casey:
I haven’t seen those 2 shows but I’ve heard of both of them.
Jeff:
I haven’t either, actually.
Casey:
So anyway, this happened once before. There was another person who had been arrested 2 years prior…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Unrelated, in a different state…
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Got arrested for smoking pot out of a skull.
Jeff:
Yep. I have a theory on this.
Casey:
In Vermont…
Jeff:
Yeah. This is the important thing to realize. If you…
Casey:
I don’t understand how you can have a theory about this. It’s just ridiculous.
Jeff:
No, I don’t have a theory. I have a law. That goes beyond the theory, alright?
Casey:
You feel like you can prove this?
Jeff:
Yes. Right. Yes, I can prove this.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
So the law is stoners can make anything into a bong. Anything. If you say, “No, there’s no way. It’s 2-dimensional.”
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
No. They can make it into a bong.
Casey:
Right. Right.
Jeff:
And in fact…
Casey:
“I bet you can’t make this into a bong.” “Yes, you can.”
Jeff:
No, you can. You can.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
It’s just like the… If you can figure out if your problem is NP, then you’re like… Or it can be translated into an NP problem [ then it’s transla-- ]…
Casey:
I see.
Jeff:
It’s the same thing, right? Like…
Casey:
So basically… Okay, so what you’re saying is there… Well, no. I’m not sure what you mean. Okay. I see. I see exactly what you said. So somewhere, at some point, somebody proved that a pothead can make anything into a bong?
Jeff:
Exactly.
Casey:
So if somehow you can transform your material science problem or engineering problem into the form of “can you make this into a bong”…
Jeff:
Exactly.
Casey:
Then the answer is yes, you can.
Jeff:
Right. So all you need to do… If you have… If you’re an architect and you can’t figure out how to fit a building into a plot of land…
Casey:
That doesn’t fit it or something…
Jeff:
Right, that doesn’t… Like, there’s no way.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
All you need to do is restate that problem as, “I’m trying to make a bong that fills this space maximally.”
Casey:
Right, right, right.
Jeff:
Put an ad in High Times magazine. And you will get multiple solutions.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
It doesn’t matter what that is. If you’re trying to, like, “Hey, I need to prove that a Mobius strip in a 4-dimensional thing is some surface topology correct…” All you need to do is prove that…
Casey:
Can you smoke pot out of it?
Jeff:
Can you smoke pot out of it?
Casey:
Right. Yes.
Jeff:
And you don’t even have to prove that. You have to convert it to a pot problem and then, let the potheads solve it for you.
Casey:
Now, I’m imagining that part of the problem, though, with this (not in terms of the law because the law is fine and probably true) but part of the problem with getting useful results from this law, I’m imagining, are, A, it is difficult to transform problems into bong construction problems.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Some problems do not lend themselves to easy transmutation…
Jeff:
Right. Some.
Casey:
Into a bong problem.
Jeff:
Fewer than you think but some, yeah.
Casey:
Well, no. It’s not that once they are, they couldn’t be solved. I’m not suggesting that.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I’m just saying that for someone who is not already a pothead…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Transforming the problem into a bong problem can be a challenging exercise, right?
Jeff:
Right. Sometimes, it’s easier to solve the problem than to figure out how to turn it into a…
Casey:
Right, to turn it into a bong problem.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right. But I’m imagining that the worse… The bigger roadblock to using this as a technique for solving problems…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Is that once you have converted the problem into a bong construction problem… What are we gonna call that? Bong Transmutation. So it’s a BT.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
It’s a BT Complete problem.
Jeff:
Okay, BT Complete.
Casey:
Once you have proved your thing is BT Complete and you have given it to the potheads and they have done it…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
They have made the bong out of whatever it is you gave them…
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
My guess is that the real work begins there because the potheads, I guarantee you, are not gonna be able to explain to you how they made the bong.
Jeff:
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Casey:
’Cos they’re so fucking wasted now that even if they knew how they did it, they’re not interested in talking…
Jeff:
“We smoked an entire house of weed because you gave us…”
Casey:
“We are so baked.”
Jeff:
Yeah, “We are so…”
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
Well, no…
Casey:
So you are left with the problem of reverse engineering…
Jeff:
Right, taking it apart…
Casey:
The process. ‘Cos you need the process to be remapped back to your space…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Whatever it is.
Jeff:
And your object…
Casey:
Because all you’re left with is a huge fucking bong.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
Exactly
Casey:
Which is not what you needed.
Jeff:
Right, exactly.
Casey:
You need to know… You need to be able to reconvert the process back to your…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Problem space.
Jeff:
Well, like frequency domain and spatial domain, there are some problems better solved in one than the other.
Casey:
Than the other… Yeah.
Jeff:
Right? So the bong domain is appropriate for some things…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
I say 3-dimensional object construction where there is airflow of any kind…
Casey:
Yeah. Right.
Jeff:
Air-conditioning, HVAC problems… Plumbing-style problems…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
You’re like, “How am I going to get the plumbing around to me electric toilet?”
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
If you’re saying… If you imagine like, how would you smoke a bong through my toilet, then it might open your mind to new possibilities, right?
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
This is why drugs should be legal. Because…
Casey:
Right. Right.
Jeff:
Right? Because we want the potheads empowered.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
We don’t want them in jail. We want them…
Casey:
More importantly, I would imagine that legalizing drugs creates a powerful incentive… Okay, here’s the way to say it, right…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Government, by controlling aspects of the capitalist system, is able to produce behaviors that it wants.
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
Like a cigarette tax…
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
What you are doing when you make drugs illegal is removing one of your big incentives. Don’t make them illegal. Make them only available in certain circumstances…
Jeff:
Right, exactly.
Casey:
Which have benefits to you, right?
Jeff:
I will go further and say… I have 2 theories. One is… Laws… First law is the need to get the stoners on our side, working on problems…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Working on spatial problems…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
I mean, they want to solve other problems. You don’t want their help in philosophy.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
You do not want…
Casey:
No, no, no, no, no. Right. In fact…
Jeff:
That’s a black hole.
Casey:
Yeah. You probably should not be allowed to… You forfeit your burn convention rights if… You can pick one. Either you’re going to smoke pot or you’re gonna write.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
But you’re not allowed to do both.
Jeff:
Right. Exactly.
Casey:
’Cos we’ve seen what happens when that occurs…
Jeff:
Yeah, exactly.
Casey:
And it’s bad.
Jeff:
It’s not good for anyone.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
No, but what I was gonna say about that is… So we need some social engineering in place there, right? For example, there obviously needs to be a bong tax which is that the government takes away a few bongs a year from you.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Right? Because otherwise, the potheads no longer have an incentive to produce new bongs…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Out of the materials that we’re giving them. And we lose the capacity to solve problems in that manner.
Jeff:
Well, either that or you give them more weed.
Casey:
So there needs to be a bong tax.
Jeff:
There either needs to be a bong tax or a weed incentive. Like, if you can fill out, like, a grant to get more weed so you need bigger bongs, like, that kind of thing.
Casey:
I guess what I’m saying is we don’t want to have to rely on an ever increasing bong size because we still want solutions to what I call small bong problems.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Like problems in the small bong domain are relevant and useful…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And we don’t want to, every year, have to buy us ourselves towards only solving big bong problems.
Jeff:
I see. So you just take…
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
You lose a bong a year…
Casey:
So we just take away some of your bongs. No, we take away proportional, just like regular.
Jeff:
Oh, okay.
Casey:
The more bongs you make, we take away 30% of your bongs.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Right? So every year, you’ve got to fill that back up.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
Right? You’ve got to… You know?
Jeff:
I’m down with that.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Okay. Yeah, I’m down with that.
Casey:
Exactly.
Jeff:
I’m telling you, that solves a lot of problems.
Casey:
I think it does. I believe…
Jeff:
I have another thing, actually.
Casey:
Yeah?
Jeff:
Yeah. That reminds me…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
No. The other thing is America’s having a hard time right now, right? Our society is changing. We’re becoming less manufacturing.
Casey:
That’s true.
Jeff:
There’s a lot of people, a lot of work…
Casey:
That’s right.
Jeff:
It looks like we’re gonna have a recession. It’s gonna be bad, right?
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And I was thinking because I saw this… If you remember, when we were talking about the… What was it? Platinum in the…
Casey:
Oh, platinum in the SUV’s?
Jeff:
In the SUV’s, they’re stealing them, right? And one of the things that they mentioned was, like, meth heads will… You know, they’re up for 4 or 5 days at a time…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Stealing all of the [ catalytic ] converters in a whole mall…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Right. Like, they just… They’re just stealing [ catalytic ] converters [inaudible 62:26]
Casey:
Saying something like, “This platinum’s really expensive. It’s, like, worth its weight in gold.”
Jeff:
Right. That’s exactly right. It’s worth its weight in platinum. And…
Casey:
Sorry. I don’t know why that amused me so much I had to say it.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
It’s the nerdiest kind of humor.
Jeff:
Yeah. Yeah. That’s alright.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Anyway, so we need to harness. We don’t need to prevent people from doing this. Like, if I was a manufacturer and I had my choice of, like, super low paid workers in China or somewhere…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Versus workers that don’t have to sleep for 3 days and can do any monotonous task no matter how boring…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
All that time… I want all my workers to be meth heads.
Casey:
And they don’t care if you give them money…
Jeff:
Or meth!
Casey:
Or anything.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
They just want meth.
Jeff:
Exactly.
Casey:
They just want the more meth.
Jeff:
That’s exactly… So I want a meth-based manufacturing society…
Casey:
A meth-based economy.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
“Essays on a Meth-Based Economy” by Jeff Roberts.
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
Or… No, “Towards a Meth-Based Economy” by Jeff Roberts.
Jeff:
This seems like it’s a total win. We take back the manufacturing from the rest of the world. We give them dental plans so their teeth don’t get all fucked up.
Casey:
Yeah. Yeah.
Jeff:
We give them retainers to gnaw on while they’re sewing the things. Like, would you rather buy child labor sweaters or meth head sweaters?
Casey:
Or meth head sweaters…
Jeff:
With crazy patterns, like… Just crazy shit that they made up on the fly, right? Every shirt is unique.
Casey:
It’s 3,000 thread count sheets.
Jeff:
Right. Exactly.
Casey:
I used a magnifying glass.
Jeff:
I’m just saying if we legalize drugs, we get the meth heads working. We give them a dental plan. We pay them in meth. We…
Casey:
I have been told… I did not try to verify this on my own…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
And lately, I’ve been skeptical of a lot of things. I’m increasingly skeptical with every year of my life.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Because most times, if I take the opportunity to check up on something, it turns out that it was incorrect…
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
When I was told it, right?
Jeff:
Beginning with Sunday school at 3 years old.
Casey:
Yes, exactly. It never really stopped.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
And that was… Somebody I was sitting next to on a plane was telling me that, like, the book they were reading or whatever the fuck it was was about how industrialized societies always had caffeination.
Jeff:
Oh, rly?
Casey:
Like, coffee and tea were, like, integral to the industrial revolutions and whatever.
Jeff:
You need… So…
Casey:
They were basically saying that, like, worker productivity went up a lot…
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
When society started figuring out that… Well, not figuring out in the mental sense but, like, started having these proliferate, right?
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
So, I don’t know if that’s actually correct, right? That could just be like… People see what they want to see and that’s not… And that’s less true for uneducated people than educated people. The more learned you are, like the more likely you are to write a history book, the more likely you are to have an angle. The more likely you are to be like, “My big thing is that coffee changed the world.” And then somehow, every fucking thing you read…
Jeff:
Is related…
Casey:
From that day forward, you’re like, “See? It’s all about my coffee theory.”
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
It’s like. . . Right…
Jeff:
Well, cognitive dissonance prevents you from accepting anything that was, like, contrary to that view…
Casey:
Right. Right.
Jeff:
Right? So you’re just… Any time you get a bad piece of data, you’re recasting it. It’s like, “Well, that’s because their caffeine was weak…”
Casey:
Yeah. Right.
Jeff:
“Because they had to import it from too far away…”
Casey:
You think of it as just another chapter in your book about how you can explain…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
This apparent outlier in terms of the new caffeine theory…
Jeff:
Theory you have, yes…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Now, the only difference here is I don’t have a theory. I have a law…
Casey:
Right. Yes.
Jeff:
And that is — Meth heads for my workers. Potheads for my research department.
Casey:
R&D is potheads and manufacturing is meth heads.
Jeff:
Right. And then, that is a huge win for America. America, built by potheads… No, designed by potheads, built by meth heads…
Casey:
And then, all the former dealers is your sales force.
Jeff:
That’s true.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
They have… “So, what’s your experience? Oh, you worked for the Yellow Pages? That’s not gonna do it.”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
“I need somebody who’s…”
Casey:
Right, right.
Jeff:
“Who’s real…”
Casey:
No, your form, your application form, has like, asks what your street corner was so you can check out, like, how… Did a lot of people get their drugs there or is it not a very popular one or…
Jeff:
I need trill people.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
I need them trill.
Casey:
It’s like, “Whoa, you were on 46 and Main? You’re hired. That’s all I need to see.” It’s like having the job applications come through and it’s got Harvard on it or whatever, right? That’s what it’s like.
Jeff:
Yeah, it’s exactly… Right.
Casey:
It’s like it’s…
Jeff:
“I’ve been stoned since 12…”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
That guy is like a Cal Tech dude.
Casey:
Yeah. Right. Yeah.
Jeff:
It’s like you hire him on the spot if he’s been stoned since he was 12. “Did your mother give you pot?”
Casey:
Awesome.
Jeff:
Shit. That means he’s from a line of potheads…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
He’s even better than someone…
Casey:
“I see here you were raised on a commune. So… Me, too, incidentally. Everyone in the R&D department was. We have a very exclusive… Yeah. We hire only the top people.”
Jeff:
Yeah, that’s exactly…
Casey:
“So, tell me about…” You know.
Jeff:
If you legalize drugs…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
It’s gonna save America.
Casey:
There’ll be like commune rivalries, right?
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
Like, when they introduce each other, they say which commune they were for. And sometimes, they’re like… You know, “We played you guys. We were football…” You know, whatever…
Jeff:
Oh, my goodness. Is there anything else we’re covering this weekend or I mean this week?
Casey:
We’re out of time.
Jeff:
We’re out of time?
Casey:
That’s it. Time’s up.
Jeff:
That’s it?
Casey:
Time’s up.
Jeff:
Alright. That’s another completely… Boy, we barely talked about stuff on our list to talk… That means, like, we have…
Casey:
It’s odd that our topic about potheads ended up being meandering and unfocused.
Jeff:
Yeah, it’s amazing how that happened. I have no idea pass the weed.
Casey:
Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
Pass that Microsoft Vista box bong please that we turned it into… Alright. Well, thanks everybody. Remember, you can email us at Podcast@MollyRocket.com.
Casey:
Podcast@MollyRocket.com.
Jeff:
And we will see you in another week. Thanks, everyone.
Casey:
Take it easy.
Jeff:
Bye.
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casey muratori
the jeff and casey show - season 1 - episode 13
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