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Bio
The Technician
No Imperfections Noted
The Jeff and Casey Show
Jeff and Casey Time
Casey Muratori
Seattle, WA
T, A, and A
"WARNING: May include two tickets to the gun show."
Original air date: May 7th, 2008
Topics. Jackass drugs. Formula One orgy. Oldish movies. Burger King/Electronic Arts market cap. Alternative radio. Domestic violence reindeer. Warren Buffett playable character. SLC trip. Disingenuous scarecrow. Area hotness. Level eleven plans. Pood. Panera Bread. Stones. Slow crossers. Flexing. Hernia fetish sites.
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Transcript
Jeff:
It’s not starting. Okay.
Casey:
Did you figure out how to get your MegaTimer working?
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Jeff & Casey Show.
Casey:
Hello, hello.
Jeff:
This is a little later than usual but we’re back on Wednesday night, drinking Thai iced teas.
Casey:
Better late than never.
Jeff:
That’s right. We’re actually… We’re doing… This is the first, for our first time ever, a 2-part podcast.
Casey:
Yes. This is gonna be a double feature.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
A podcast double feature.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Because since we did not have it done for Sunday and the next Sunday is rapidly approaching, we figured we would do a double podcast…
Jeff:
Exactly.
Casey:
So we could release 2 in short succession.
Jeff:
Right. And this is… We’re calling this a poodcast.
Casey:
This is gonna be a poodcast. Now, we always call it a poodcast.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
We’ve never said this on air but we always called it a poodcast.
Jeff:
Poodcast.
Casey:
And that’s because you told me some story about a rapper who did not know…
Jeff:
Right. Yeah, it was…
Casey:
What a poodcast was or something.
Jeff:
A couple years ago, Snoop Dogg was on MTV…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And he did some little promo and he was like, “Hey, all you shorties. Come on down to my poodcast.”
Casey:
Shorties?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
What’s a shorty?
Jeff:
A girl. But anyway…
Casey:
Wait, why is a shorty a girl? Because they’re shorter than him ‘cos he’s tall?
Jeff:
I don’t know.
Casey:
Or just in general? I guess female… The average female height is smaller than an average male height so is that… Am I reading way too much into…
Jeff:
We are so White at this point…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
We just need to stop before we explode in a ball of White flame. That’s all I’m saying.
Casey:
Okay. I think rap music is terrible…
Jeff:
[ Rules? ]
Casey:
Is such a waste of time…
Jeff:
No, no…
Casey:
Like, I don’t have any qualms about my White-ness. I am as White as it gets. So that’s fine with me.
Jeff:
Well, no. So why I remembered that so much is, like, Snoop is always so cool. And then, he like… It was a total loss of call when he called it poodcast.
Casey:
“I got my poodcast.”
Jeff:
So we’ve always called it poodcast.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
But then, you found out what “pood” meant.
Casey:
Download it on your iPhone.
Jeff:
Yeah, iPhone… Your iPood.
Casey:
iPhony.
Jeff:
But you found out this week what “pood” actually meant, it’s a word.
Casey:
I did. I did find out what it was. I did not know that “pood” was a word. And I think I was listening to… It just came to me.
Jeff:
Tell me.
Casey:
’Cos I was having trouble remembering what it was. I was… When I’m working on art…
Jeff:
Uh-huh…
Casey:
Art does not require… It’s a split, basically, right? If you’re working on code, that’s your linguistic center.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So your creative center is idle at that time.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
So I have to listen to music while I’m coding…
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
Or I can’t program.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Because the other part of my brain goes stir crazy and it just… I can’t concentrate, right?
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
The opposite is true of art. If I’m working on art, then my linguistic center is bored out of its fucking mind. So I have to put on something for it to concentrate on and digest or it will be, like. . . It won’t let me work on the art, right?
Jeff:
This sounds like an excuse but. . .
Casey:
Why is it an excuse? That’s just what happens.
Jeff:
No, this is like, “No, I didn’t really get any work done today because I didn’t have an audiobook. . .
Casey:
No, I don’t. . .
Jeff:
Pre-taped. . .
Casey:
I never use it as an excuse because you know why? Because I always have a fuckload of audio books, right. . .
Jeff:
I see. You have backups.
Casey:
If they ran out, the work would stop.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
It would stop. There’s no question about that.
Jeff:
So you can’t listen. . . You don’t like to listen to music when you’re doing art? Or it just doesn’t work? Or you can do both?
Casey:
You sort of can but the problem is there’s not enough separation there. Like, if I was working on art that I didn’t care about. . . Let’s say I was working on art for someone else. Let’s say, for example, that I worked at each, right, and I was modelling the, like. . .
Jeff:
The king.
Casey:
11,000th fucking Tiberium harvester. . .
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
Then yes, I can listen to whatever.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
But if you’re actually trying to model something and you have some artistic opinion about how that thing should look, then you don’t want the music dictating your artistic opinion at that time.
Jeff:
This is so foofoo. I’m soo. . .
Casey:
I’m serious.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
It changes. . . You can’t concentrate on an aesthetic if you have some other aesthetic invading. Now, you could select the music appropriately so that it would be the right music for the kind of model that you were making. But that’s not the same thing.
Jeff:
If you were. . . I think that no matter what you are drawing, if I put on rap, you would be mad no matter what. It doesn’t matter if you were modelling 50 Cent. . .
Casey:
Yeah, because it sucks. But that has nothing to do with it.
Jeff:
No. If you were. . .
Casey:
I said “put on music”, not “put on spoken word”.
Jeff:
You’re killing me. Alright. So anyway, where did “pood” come from? What does it mean?
Casey:
So I was reading. . . And by reading, I mean listening to the audiobook of. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Which is the only way that I ever read anything anymore except for, like, fun fiction…
Jeff:
So you took a br--. . .
Casey:
Like [inaudible 4:58] that I’m reading now, which is fabulous. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
On your recommendation.
Jeff:
So you took a break from listening to our own podcast to listen. . .
Casey:
Yeah. Well, you know the problem was a big part of this problem. . .
Jeff:
You didn’t have a Saturday. . .
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. It was like, I wear it out , you know, listening to the podcast. I listen. . . You know, I account for probably a third of the downloads of the podcasts because I play it off the website. . .
Jeff:
Awesome.
Casey:
For some reason. I don’t know why. I have it on my hard drive. I don’t know why I don’t. . . But yeah, so the problem was I ran out of podcast because I’d listen to them so many goddamn times. Even I got bored of it after a while, after you listened to each one, like, 20 times. It’s starting to wear thing. So I was trying to pick through some of the audiobooks I hadn’t finished. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
’Cos I had kind of. . . I order $300 worth of new audibooks on the way. . . But I found a different solution. We’ll talk about that later. But what happened is I was listening to Salt by Mark Kurlansky. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Terrible book. I mean, absolutely horrible.
Jeff:
Salt.
Casey:
Which is why I didn’t finish it the first time. It’s just terrible. So I was like, “Well, it’s all I got. Here it goes, you know it’s on.” And you know, it’s basically a book that has. . . you know, it has no central thesis. It’s meandering. It doesn’t provide ay context to anything. . .
Jeff:
Is this like one of those. . .
Casey:
It’s just a collect--. . .
Jeff:
“Germs, Guns, and Steel” only where it’s salt mines and stuff?
Casey:
Well, “Germs, Guns, and Steel” is a poorly written but very well-constructed book. Like, it is about something. It’s well-researched. Whether you agree with it or disagree with it, you have to agree that. . . It was like he was making a concerted effort to get a point across and it was right.
Jeff:
But is this a story of a commodity? Like. . .
Casey:
Well. . . Obviously, because it’s called “Salt” it’s gonna be about salt, right? But you can imagine a good book that’s about salt. It’s like, “Hey, let me show you how salt is, like, the turning point of these major historical things or something,” right? That’s a book. That’s what you probably expect the book to be. But that’s not what this book is. This book is literally a collection of sentences about salt that do not have to go in the order that they’re placed in the book at all. He’s like, “And so, they put some salt on top of it. And that became pickled herring. When the Chinese first found salt, it was in holes that were about one inch long. And they found natural gas at the bottom. The first time. . .” It’s like the most incoherent non-fiction book I have read in a long, long time.
Jeff:
And so. . .
Casey:
And by read, I meant heard.
Jeff:
And by. . .
Casey:
Oh, it’s terrible. Terrible book.
Jeff:
And that’s where. . .
Casey:
I can’t believe I. . .
Jeff:
And so, a pood is a unit of salt measurement?
Casey:
Because as is all the other shit in this book, how does pood work into it? Who knows? He mentions it in passing about when they were weighing something in Russia. It’s a unit of measure in Russia. . .
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
That’s about 36 pounds. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And he’s like, “A pood or 36 pounds. . . Meanwhile, in Indonesia. . .” Like, that’s exactly. . . That’s it. There’s nothing. . . There is no reason to say pood. He was just like, “Oh, here’s a little tidbit I read.”
Jeff:
“I’m gonna unleash this word.”
Casey:
Just verbal diarrhea, this person. Just absolutely terrible. Anyway. . .
Jeff:
But then, you must’ve freaked out and hit pause immediate ‘cos like. . . “Did he just say ’pood’?”
Casey:
I sent you an email. I was like pood.
Jeff:
Pood. Pood.
Casey:
There you go. It’s pood. It’s the poodcast. That’s why this is a poodcast not a podcast because it’s a double. . . It’s 36 pounds of audio love.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
And you’re getting. . . It’s an audio threesome between the listener, who in my mind is really hot and female, and you and me (which is kind of weird) but I don’t know, we’ll get to that later. . .
Jeff:
Man-man-lady threesome.
Casey:
Yeah, kinda man-man-lady threesome.
Jeff:
Oh, brother.
Casey:
And so, if we could just get you out of the picture, it’ll be great.
Jeff:
If I’m out of the picture, you’re just with yourself listening. . .
Casey:
No, and the hot listener.
Jeff:
Well, no, the hot listener is you most of the time, at least a third of the time.
Casey:
Okay, that’s a good point. You have a point there. So anyway, that’s the poodcast. And. . .
Jeff:
We just spent. . .
Casey:
I solved this problem, though.
Jeff:
A sixth of the poodcast on explaining why it’s called a poodcast. I wonder. . .
Casey:
No. No, we didn’t.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Because the MegaTimer says 9 minutes. . .
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
6 times 9 is only. . . We’ll give you the benefit of rounding up to ten. 6 times 10 is only half. . .
Jeff:
One-sixth. . .
Casey:
Of our whole time because this is a double podcast.
Jeff:
Yeah. Okay. I meant a sixth of the first podcast is gone. Oh, my God. Pood.
Casey:
Well, it’s a good thing that we keep so on topic on this podcast.
Jeff:
I know.
Casey:
Or that would be a real problem.
Jeff:
We wouldn’t want to stray.
Casey:
I solved the problem, though, by the way.
Jeff:
Which problem?
Casey:
I solved the problem of the whole audiobook situation.
Jeff:
I see. What was the problem?
Casey:
Because I found what is basically, like, exactly what I fucking want. The internet provided to me the miracle of the 21st century. . .
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
I got exactly what I wanted. It wasn’t, like, sort of what I wanted. It wasn’t like the iPhone, like a cool device but doesn’t have a keyboard so I can’t use it.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
It’s not that. It’s not a cock tease. I got exactly what I wanted which is Alternative Radio now has Mp3’s.
Jeff:
Okay, so. . .
Casey:
You can go to AlternativeRadio.org. You can get a fuckload of lectures recorded on Mp3. And I love Alternative Radio. It’s like, my favourite thing on NPR or on the radio. Period.
Jeff:
So it’s all there?
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
I knew. . . I have downloaded all the NPR’s on to my phone for when I’m driving around. But I didn’t know that. . .
Casey:
The NPR’s?
Jeff:
Well, there’s like, “This American Life”, all those. . .
Casey:
Oh, right. Right. Yeah, yeah.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Well, this is like. . . Alternative Radio has their entire back catalogue.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Like, hundreds of lectures on there.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So I just went ape shit on there. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Buying everything in sight. I have a subscription now. I get an email. It’s got all these things. I’ve been listening to everything. . .
Jeff:
Now, if you had an iPhone that automatically downloads, syncs, and all that; you’d be even more styling.
Casey:
But that doesn’t help because I don’t do iPhone so what the fuck’s the point of that?
Jeff:
Like, I hook. You just gotta do it.
Casey:
No, what’s the point of that?
Jeff:
You know what, I’m finding. . .
Casey:
What is the point of having another portable device when the only time I listen to audio. . .
Jeff:
Oh, I see. . .
Casey:
Is when I’m at my desk?
Jeff:
I listen to. . . Mostly in the car when I’m driving back and forth between Seattle and here.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So, it’s good to get that.
Casey:
Well, if you just moved RAD to Seattle where it should’ve been in the first place. . .
Jeff:
Yeah, I know.
Casey:
Then this wouldn’t be an issue.
Jeff:
I’m finding this very distracting, this podcast so far because. . .
Casey:
Why?
Jeff:
Well, the Thai iced teas. . .
Casey:
Yeah? What about it?
Jeff:
Do you notice there’s, like, no milk in them. It’s, like, all Thai. . .
Casey:
Oh.
Jeff:
Right?
Casey:
You think this has made me go crazy?
Jeff:
No, your lips are bright orange and so is your tongue.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So, like, as you’re talking, I’m like. . . So, it’s not good but. . .
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
Yeah, they definitely do a lot of the. . .
Casey:
[inaudible 11:39] spiked Thai iced tea, yeah.
Jeff:
Well, there’s no milk in it, just the Thai.
Casey:
So now, I don’t really know, though, after having spent 12 minutes. . .
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Talking about why it’s called a poodcast.
Jeff:
You love the MegaTimer.
Casey:
The MegaTimer. I’ve used the MegaTimer.
Jeff:
I know. You just did. It’s awesome.
Casey:
Oh, no. I don’t actually know why we’re doing the double feature. . .
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Because we have sold it to the listeners ask a gift to them but it was not because what actually happened is you sent me mail. . .
Jeff:
It’s a gift to us.
Casey:
You sent me mail saying, “Hey, by the way. . .”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
“I can’t do it this weekend so let’s do a double so we won’t be late again.”
Jeff:
That’s right.
Casey:
But what is the. . .
Jeff:
I’m running out of. . .
Casey:
You’re going to. . .
Jeff:
I’m out of town on the weekend so. . . Yes.
Casey:
Is it E3? That’s what I was thinking. Is it E3 time?
Jeff:
No, no. No, no, no.
Casey:
’Cos I never go to E3.
Jeff:
Well, E3. . . It kind of disappeared two years ago. And then it’s back. . .
Casey:
It is back, right? They did have it last year.
Jeff:
Yeah, but now they’re cancelling it again or something. . .
Casey:
Why are they cancelling it?
Jeff:
Or it’s gonna be scaled down. . . A whole bunch of people decided they didn’t like the new dude that runs it. Like. . .
Casey:
Oh, they pulled out or something?
Jeff:
[inaudible 12:49] Yeah. So, yeah, it’s dead again.
Casey:
I thought they pulled out originally. They pulled out. They went back in. . .
Jeff:
Back in.
Casey:
It was just like Catholic. . .
Jeff:
Exactly.
Casey:
It’s like a Catholic situation.
Jeff:
They felt guilty.
Casey:
And then they were like, “I can’t. . . No, I’ve got to get more E3.” And then they were like, “No.”
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
“Stop, vile temptress.”
Jeff:
Exactly.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
So. . . No, just a quick trip down to Salt Lake.
Casey:
What for?
Jeff:
Just to go see my gramps.
Casey:
Your grandpa?
Jeff:
Yeah, grandpa.
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
And so, running down to Salt Lake for a day and a half so. . .
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
Yeah. It’s pretty crazy.
Casey:
Sounds like some mild fun.
Jeff:
Yeah. No.
Casey:
No.
Jeff:
Well, no, Salt Lake’s more. . . As crazy as Salt Lake is, it’s better than Florida. That’s what’s. . .
Casey:
Oh, that’s a good point.
Jeff:
That’s how bad Florida is.
Casey:
You’d rather have Mormons than strictly elderly folks?
Jeff:
Just psycho-Floridians. That’s. . .
Casey:
So you’re from Utah originally, right?
Jeff:
Well, no. I’m from California but we moved to Utah when I was about 4th grade.
Casey:
Oh, so you were actually born in California?
Jeff:
I was born in Missouri but I grew up in California.
Casey:
What the fuck? Okay.
Jeff:
Yes. I grew up in Jefferson City and I used to always. . .
Casey:
Your dad was a dentist so you moved a lot.
Jeff:
No, he was. . . No, he went to medical. . .
Casey:
“My dad was into dentistry.”
Jeff:
He was in dental school when I was born. And then, he went to California for a conference and he was like, “Great weather. Pretty girls. Let’s move on to. . .”
Casey:
Ah, I see.
Jeff:
“San Jose.”
Casey:
He’s like, “I’m gonna get some good dental assistants here.”
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
I see.
Jeff:
So that’s. . . So, yeah. Anyway, I grew up in California. And then, we moved there when I was, I don’t know, 7th or 8th grade. So. . .
Casey:
But why the fuck did he want to move to Utah after that?
Jeff:
He didn’t. That was when my parents got divorced. It was that moment. She moved back because she was from Utah. And actually, my dad grew up in Utah, as well.
Casey:
Oh, and your dad was like, “Fuck that.”
Jeff:
Yeah. Well, no, they had broken up and then she would. . .
Casey:
Let’s change the subject, though. Why did your mom want to? Your mom’s pretty cool.
Jeff:
She grew up in here.
Casey:
Why did she want to go to Utah?
Jeff:
She grew up in Salt Lake.
Casey:
So she just wanted to be closer to family?
Jeff:
Yes, all the family, all the crazy. . .
Casey:
But then she moved away? She’s in [inaudible 14:48] now, right? So she’s. . .
Jeff:
All the crazy, [inaudible 14:50] yes.
Casey:
Now, let me ask you this, right, because in general. . .
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
And I guess. . . You know, I don’t really know. Like, I’ve often wanted to do a, for lack of a better term, “hotness experiment”, right? And I thought about scientific ways to do this.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Right? By locating various highly trafficked areas in the city, right?
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And then using one of those things that’s like a little counter, right, where I click. . .
Jeff:
Something like a MegaTimer-type device?
Casey:
No, no, no. No, a clicker. Right? Where you click and it counts. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Up. . . It’s like click, click, click. It counts up. Where you just count how many hot people. . .
Jeff:
Walk by. . .
Casey:
Or hot women, for me. But you know, this applies to anyone who’s doing [ so and so ]… So hot whatever. . .
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
Pass by your field of view. . .
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
In a certain amount of time.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Okay. And so, I’m thinking that in general, you can categorize cities or areas by their hotness level. . .
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
If you see what I’m saying, right?
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Because I’ve heard it said that, like, “Oh, man. Like, such and such city, everyone’s ugly there. But everyone in blah is really hot,” or something, right, like this?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
But you know, that’s just someone’s. . . That is an unscientific. . .
Jeff:
It’s an opinion, yeah.
Casey:
Unsubstantiated opinion even if we take. . . Even if we assume that that person’s opinion of hotness is taken as objective for the moment, we still don’t know that they have scientifically measured it. They may just have had a good experience at one point that’s coloring. . .
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
And really, if we took them out of the city and just showed them a video of different locations, they didn’t know where they were, they might actually pick some other city, right?
Jeff:
Right. Okay.
Casey:
So anyway, in your non-scientific opinion, how is Utah? Are Mormons hot? Are Mormons hot even though they’re reserved maybe because they’re Mormon or something? But are they hot?
Jeff:
Well. . . Yeah, in general, I think so. I think the other thing that’s kind of unique about Utah is everybody. . . It’s very young. Like, Salt Lake City is actually a reasonable city.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
It’s young and. . . And it gets kinda wacky the farther away you get from that. But I mean, it’s. . . It usually has a Democrat for a mayor, not a Republican.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
The Salt Lake County usually votes a Democrat and the rest of the state trounces it completely.
Casey:
Okay. Alright.
Jeff:
Like a lot of. . .
Casey:
Kind of like we’re threatened to be here, actually. Like. . .
Jeff:
I mean, it’s. . . I didn’t. . . I mean, that’s why we moved here is I didn’t like it but it’s not that bad. And yeah, the people are awesome. Generally. . .
Casey:
You’re not answering my question. I don’t give a fuck. . . I didn’t say, “How did they vote?”
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
“Oh, Jeff, how did the women vote down there?”
Jeff:
No, it’s. . . They. . . Yeah, they’re attractive.
Casey:
“You know, I really like someone who goes out and votes Democrat. That really turns me on.”
Jeff:
Yeah. Well, they have a lot of teeth, the Mormons do. They have plenty of teeth. You know, the Osmonds have all those teeth.
Casey:
No.
Jeff:
Yeah, they’ve got a lot of teeth. Very smiley, the Osmonds are.
Casey:
You know, you’re useless. Alright.
Jeff:
Yeah. You know I am. . .
Casey:
Moving on. . .
Jeff:
Cousins with the Osmonds.
Casey:
I don’t know who the Osmonds are.
Jeff:
The Osmonds. Danny and Marie.
Casey:
Okay. Is that. . . Should I know who that is?
Jeff:
Yeah, they dance and sing.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
She was on “Dancing with the Stars” recently.
Casey:
I have not watched that show.
Jeff:
Oh, my grandma is an Osmond. So that’s. . .
Casey:
So you are. . . That’s your 6 degrees away from people who no one’s ever heard of before?
Jeff:
That you have never heard of.
Casey:
Okay, that I have never heard of.
Jeff:
Yes, that’s exactly right.
Casey:
Moving along. . .
Jeff:
18 minutes in. . .
Casey:
Yeah, 18 minutes in. More importantly, I’m sure this is something that’s on everyone’s mind. You left us with a cliff-hanger. . .
Jeff:
Cliff-hanger.
Casey:
Last podcast which is stone surgery.
Jeff:
Oh, yeah.
Casey:
Obviously, you’re alive, which is good.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
So there wasn’t some catastrophic problem with the surgery.
Jeff:
Disaster.
Casey:
But how did it go, in general?
Jeff:
No, it was fine. I ended up sleeping on the couch downstairs for, like, 4 days after because I was pretty drugged out. But no, it was all fine.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
I have to say there was this weird thing. And Alicia told me about this 2 nights ago. And it’s been weighing on me since then dramatically.
Casey:
Okay. Yeah.
Jeff:
And that was. . . Well, actually, in Utah, when I had my wisdom teeth out. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
You know, they knock you completely out.
Casey:
How old you were you when you had your wisdom teeth out?
Jeff:
20.
Casey:
Alright. So you got them out pretty late then?
Jeff:
Yeah, yeah.
Casey:
Yeah. I mean, obviously people. . .
Jeff:
It was. . .
Casey:
I know someone who’s had them out when they were 30 so it’s not that late but still. . .
Jeff:
Yeah, Alicia and I were. . . Yeah, we were living together. And so, I would’ve been about 20.
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
So, you go there and they knock you out. And they’re bringing you out to the car. Alicia ran and got to the car. Apparently, as she was driving up, I was telling a story to the nurse that was sort of standing there.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
And I was gesturing wildly with my hands, like. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Doing this thing with my hands over my head, like, all this crazy stuff. . .
Casey:
A little premature gesticulation?
Jeff:
I guess.
Casey:
I see.
Jeff:
And Alicia said, “I don’t know what you were talking about. The nurse didn’t know what you were talking about.” I don’t remember. . .
Casey:
What was the story? Did Alicia even know what the story was?
Jeff:
No. I don’t remember from when. . .
Casey:
Did she recognize the story?
Jeff:
In fact, I do remember when they put me under. They said, “Alright, we’re injecting the stuff,” it’s an IV kind of thing. They knock you out.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
They said, “Okay, we injected it. And what’s gonna happen is you’re gonna feel a little tickle in your throat and you’re gonna cough and you’re gonna fall asleep.”
Casey:
Yeah. We’ve all heard that before, right?
Jeff:
And I’m like. . . Yeah, exactly, “a tickle in my throat”.
Casey:
That’s like. . .
Jeff:
Uh-huh. . .
Casey:
That’s the standard Republican line, right?
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
Right before they put the ball gag on. . .
Jeff:
Exactly.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So I actually. . . I thought to myself, “What a completely specific thing to say,” and then I went ehem. . . And I woke up at home, like, 12 hours later. It was actually, literally. . .
Casey:
Awesome.
Jeff:
It was crazy.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So anyway, I don’t remember any of that. But. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So this time, they knocked me out again completely. And after, they put you in a little recovery room.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And Alicia’s sitting there. And she says I was awake. Again, I don’t remember anything until I’m home, okay? Now, I think they not only knocked me out. They gave me some kind of jackass drug. And let me explain why. Because apparently. . .
Casey:
Hold on a second. Jackass like the show, “Jackass”? What do you mean?
Jeff:
No, no. Like, jackass, like I am the jackass, okay. And I’ll you why.
Casey:
So you just mean ass?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
So you didn’t want to say “ass drug” because someone might think suppository.
Jeff:
No. Well, they could. Yeah.
Casey:
But it’s a drug that makes you an ass.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
So I. . . Apparently, I woke up. . .
Casey:
It’s called a podcast.
Jeff:
Yeah. Exactly.
Casey:
It’s called a microphone.
Jeff:
So I wake up from. . .
Casey:
Surgery.
Jeff:
The surgery.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And I don’t remember any of this but apparently. . . You know, you’re in your little gown, right that has. . . It’s sleeveless.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
I woke up and I started. . . I was flexing my arms and going, “Tsss. . . Been working out.” And I was kinda flexing to Alicia.
Casey:
No way.
Jeff:
And to the nurse, going, “Tsss, tsss. . .” Okay. Now, most of the people who listen to our podcast. . .
Casey:
That is out of control.
Jeff:
Yeah, I know. And now, here’s the thing. Most of the people who listen to our podcast know who we are because, like, the only people who listen to us are the people who we begged to listen to us.
Casey:
Yeah. Right. You wouldn’t have a. . . Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
Okay. If there is one thing physically that you notice. . .
Casey:
That you’re not an imposing character.
Jeff:
No. I am super duper skinny.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
I can’t imagine why I was flexing. I wouldn’t flex in front of myself.
Casey:
The nurse probably could have benched more than you, I’m guessing.
Jeff:
No, I’m positive she could.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
I’m positive she could. So I’m like, “What the fuck drug did they give me to make me do that?” There’s no way on earth I would do that. You could have told me that, like, “Yeah, when you were waking up, you were expressing your really. . . Your deep interest into child pornography,” and I would be less shocked at that than the fact that I was [inaudible 22:52] in front of Alicia and the nurse.
Casey:
So you got the little bottle. . .
Jeff:
I have been freaked out about that. I’m like, “I don’t have anything on my mind about that. I have nothing.” Nothing.
Casey:
Let’s see here. It says, “Take with food. May include 2 tickets to the gun show. What does that mean? What does that mean? This is. . . Excuse me. What is this that you’re giving me?”
Jeff:
I am. . . Okay, Alicia thought it was hysterical. And I’m like, “First off, if I start doing jackass shit, you have to stop me.”
Casey:
How was she gonna stop you? You’re drugged up.
Jeff:
She was laughing. She was laughing. . .
Casey:
Yeah, but there’s no way to stop. . .
Jeff:
And enjoying the whole thing.
Casey:
Yeah, why not? She probably asked them for more of that shit.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
So anytime you’re being surly, she just slips you one of those and then you’re like, “Hey, babe. What’s going on?”
Jeff:
I do not understand. . .
Casey:
“Check out my new pair of shorts. Skin-tight.”
Jeff:
I am freaked out.
Casey:
“You wanna go jogging with me?”
Jeff:
Yeah, “Look at these bulges, baby.” I’ve actually. . .
Casey:
You’ve got to find out what that is. You’ve got to find out what that shit is.
Jeff:
I don’t know what the deal is. So not only have I been concerned about that ‘cos I’m like, “What the fuck?” Like, what else did I do?
Casey:
What do you mean “concerned about it”? Like, what are you concerned about? You’re not gonna hang out with the nurse later.
Jeff:
No. I don’t like the fact was. . .
Casey:
And she’s gonna be like, “Dude, what was that with the gun show, man?”
Jeff:
Well, like, if I’m prone to behaviour like that, what if I wake up a little sleepy? Like this morning, you called me at freaking 7 AM in the morning. Did you start acting all weird when I was sleepy then?
Casey:
No.
Jeff:
See, I don’t get it. I’m freaked out. So not only did it make me freaked out about that two days ago. . .
Casey:
I thought you get up at 6:30 for stocks anyway.
Jeff:
I usually do but, like, the one day I work ‘til really late, it’s like, “[inaudible 24:31] check out the build, my friend.” I’m like, “Alright.” And then. . .
Casey:
But I don’t understand. . .
Jeff:
You always say, “Hey, you up?” And I’m like, “Yeah.” I don’t know. . .
Casey:
Why do you lie? Why would you lie?
Jeff:
I don’t know why.
Casey:
You said last night at, like, the wee hour of 11 PM, you were like, “I gotta go home ‘cos I gotta. . .” So I assumed you went to sleep.
Jeff:
I didn’t.
Casey:
I figured you’re certainly getting up at 6:30 if you left at 11.
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
What the fuck were you doing all night? I know what you were doing. No. Don’t tell me.
Jeff:
Working out.
Casey:
No. Fixing the Drobo.
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
I bet the Drobo shat the bed and you were like, “I gotta get this working.” Am I wrong?
Jeff:
No. No, I didn’t work on the. . . Well, I’ve been at your house for 4 days so I didn’t get a chance to use the Drobo once.
Casey:
Yeah, I know.
Jeff:
But if I did. . .
Casey:
But probably ‘cos it doesn’t work.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I don’t even want to know what kind of data you’re losing right now. I’m sure, it’s erasing. . .
Jeff:
No, it’s fine.
Casey:
You’re like, “Oh, check out how sweaty Tom Cruise is. . .”
Jeff:
It’s fine.
Casey:
“In this film. . .”
Jeff:
It’s fine. Trust me. It’s fine. No, I just sat on the couch, flipping, watching terrible TV. I was sleeping, after the surgery, probably 18 hours a day. I was sleeping so long which is. . . For me, I don’t sleep long. And so I was. . .
Casey:
You watched a lot of TV.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
You watched, like, 24 hours a day of TV for 4 days straight.
Jeff:
I couldn’t get up without getting nauseous.
Casey:
You wore out the remote control.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
We are gonna have to solve the remote control battery problem before you get sick again. . .
Jeff:
I tried. . .
Casey:
Because the stones are a recurring thing. . .
Jeff:
I know.
Casey:
And so, the next time you get stones, you better have a plan for the batteries.
Jeff:
Well, I tried to solve that problem. In fact, I have 3 of those little rechargeable. . .
Casey:
Rechargeable what?
Jeff:
AA stations that you plug into the wall and you put your thing in.
Casey:
Oh, yeah?
Jeff:
And. . .
Casey:
Why. . . What’s the problem?
Jeff:
No, they’re terrible. Because. . . So rechargeable batteries drain even when you’re not using them. They don’t keep a charge, right? That’s. . .
Casey:
Is that. . . But normal batteries do? They don’t. . .
Jeff:
No, normal batteries. . . Like, an alkaline battery lasts for freakin’ ever.
Casey:
Oh, really? So, like, all these laptop batteries and stuff, they just drain over time. It’s because they’re rechargeable batteries. If they were just one-shot batteries, they’d just. . . You’d be able to shut the laptop off for 2 years and power it on?
Jeff:
Oh, I see what you’re saying. Sure. Yes.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Yeah. Just the speed of leakage. . .
Casey:
Eventually, they’ll leak out but it’s very low is what you’re saying?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
So what always happens. . . ‘Cos I tried to do this. I bought all these at home to put in. . . In fact, it was in my home remote control. Every time I went to use the remote control, the stupid rechargers were dead. So then I’d have to go, “Oh, fuck,” and then go get some AA alkalines. . .
Casey:
That’s awesome.
Jeff:
And then, I get to the part where they end. I buy another set and then. . . So. . . Yeah, it just doesn’t work.
Casey:
Why don’t. . . You think that remotes would have, like something on them that just generates the power it needs from the fact that you’re waving it around or you just shake it and you push the button.
Jeff:
Yeah, like those old watches. Yeah.
Casey:
I mean, how much power could it possibly take to flick a little IR, you know? It can’t be that much, can it?
Jeff:
I don’t think it’s much but the problem is IR, when it doesn’t work right, you can be, instead of turning on the TV, turning off the VCR. . .
Casey:
Oh, really?
Jeff:
Or, God forbid, rebooting the stupid DVD player. So yeah, you just don’t. . . Yeah, it’s alkaline all the way.
Casey:
Well, I noticed it because, you know, I. . . One of the things. . . I don’t really watch much TV. And as a result, I only really see the TV that is. . .
Jeff:
Already on.
Casey:
Given to me.
Jeff:
Okay. Yes.
Casey:
Like, I. . .
Jeff:
Presented.
Casey:
Right. I am what I would call a captive TV audience, to sum it right.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
I don’t have an. . . I don’t watch TV like I go, “Oh, I gotta go see this show.” It’s more like, “Well, whatever the fuck’s on, that’s what’s going to be. . .”
Jeff:
Be watched. . .
Casey:
You know. . . Or if I’m fixing some supper or something. . .
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
Then that’s what I’m gonna see. And lately, I don’t know what the problem is but the TV always seems to actually be on, like, old sort of. . . Not old like classic films. Not like “Citizen Kane”, right. . .
Jeff:
It’s probably ‘cos I left it on after basketball so it’s TNT or something and old movies. . .
Casey:
Maybe. It’s like, old-ish movies or old, shitty movies.
Jeff:
Oh, okay.
Casey:
Right? Like, you know, some butter film with Cary Grant or something.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
That was not good at the time. It’s not good now. You know, it’s just a chick flick or something.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Or like, case in point, “The Wizard of Oz”.
Jeff:
“The Wizard of Oz” was on?
Casey:
“The Wizard of Oz” was on, right. Not a good film, you know. . .
Jeff:
It’s an awesome movie.
Casey:
No, it isn’t.
Jeff:
Yes, it is.
Casey:
It’s a terrible film.
Jeff:
No, you’re nuts.
Casey:
You know what’s the weird thing about “The Wizard of Oz”? Everyone thinks they’ve seen “The Wizard of Oz”, right?
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Because everyone saw it when they were 12 or whatever. But people don’t often re-watch “The Wizard of Oz” in earnest, like sit down and watch it when they’re 25 or whatever.
Jeff:
It’s on the Drobo. Okay. I’ll bring it up on the Drobo.
Casey:
Which means you’ll probably never get to actually see it.
Jeff:
Damnit.
Casey:
Skip, skip, skip, skip. . .
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
They don’t re-watch it with. . . Like, there’s a couple films that are like this, right? Like, one of the classic ones is that one, the little animated “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” one.
Jeff:
Awesome, as well.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
You go back and watch that now and it was clearly, like, some socially progressive person with an axe to grind against the establishment wrote that film. No question. It’s got a dominating, borderline domestic violence father reindeer. It’s got a clearly gay elf who’s misunderstood and outcast from the other elves because he wants to be a dentist which is a sissy thing to do for an elf. You’re supposed to want to make toys, right? And he’s got a little lisp, you know. . .
Jeff:
I remember the lisp.
Casey:
You know, there’s all. . . It’s totally filled with messages that were clearly. . .
Jeff:
But that’s awesome.
Casey:
Okay, yeah. I’m not. . . I didn’t say it’s bad. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to include Rudolph in the bad films.
Jeff:
Okay, I see.
Casey:
I’m saying there’s films like this that, when you re-watch them later, you are seeing different things. . .
Jeff:
Okay, sure.
Casey:
Than you thought you saw when you were a child.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
Yes, I agree with that.
Casey:
Okay. So. . .
Jeff:
So, what’s your “The Wizard of Oz”. . .
Casey:
So “The Wizard of Oz” thing, right. . . I didn’t even see the whole “Wizard of Oz”. I came in for maybe the last 15 minutes of “The Wizard of Oz” while I was eating a salad, right.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Holy cow. Is there shit in “The Wizard of Oz”? It’s just really fucking weird, right. And I’m not. . . I don’t even mean in the same way as the Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer thing. I just mean like it strikes you as odd, the things that are going on in there. Yes, it’s a fantasy world and whatever and that’s supposed to be weird. But it’s just like the whole staging production, the dialogue. . . Everything is just odd in that film. Like, they’re saying goodbye at the end, right?
Jeff:
Uh-huh.
Casey:
And the 3 people are there — the tin man and the scarecrow and the cowardly lion, right. And she spends a minutes. She’s like, “Oh, cowardly lion, you know, I’m gonna miss you so much,” and he’s like, “I know I’ve got a heart now because it’s breaking,” and all this shit, right? And you’re just like, “Oh, give me a fucking break,” right? And she was down to the tin man and the tin man’s all like. . . Oh, wait, no. The cowardly lion was courage.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
So it was the other said the heart thing. I don’t fucking know, right.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
They blabber on for a while and she’s like, “Here’s your fucking oil can. Squirt it around, whatever,” right? Turns to the scarecrow, they say nothing. “Goodbye, scarecrow.” He nods. She gets. . . Away she walks. That’s it.
Jeff:
Well, wait. She says one more.
Casey:
It is really, really uncomfortable. It’s like something happened in between when they were all friends. . .
Jeff:
Like sexual tension?
Casey:
And they all got their thing. . . Right? I don’t know. I don’t know what it was.
Jeff:
Well, wait. She says. . .
Casey:
Something happened and they are not on good terms by the end of that film.
Jeff:
Well, wait. They say. . .
Casey:
They are not on good terms.
Jeff:
No, she says something else. No, she says, “Scarecrow, I think I’ll miss you most of all.”
Casey:
Maybe.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
It’s one word and that’s it. He does not respond.
Jeff:
He’s sad.
Casey:
“I think I’ll miss you most of all.” Nod. Done.
Jeff:
He’s sad.
Casey:
I don’t care what he is. It’s just odd. It was really strange. And it was a disingenuous nod. He was like, “Eh. . . I could take it or leave it.”
Jeff:
“That stupid dog’s been peeing on my straw legs.”
Casey:
Yeah. “Click your red shoes. . .”
Jeff:
“And get the fuck out.”
Casey:
Totally. And the acting. . .
Jeff:
Or maybe he’s annoyed that we’ve gone all the way through. . . We’ve almost been killed multiple times and she could click her heels all the time. He’s like, “You’ve got to be shitting me.”
Casey:
Well, that’s the other awesome thing about it, right, is they’re like, “We’ve got to have an explanation for that.” So the Good Witch says something like, “You couldn’t have done it all the time. Just right now. Okay, bye.” You know, like. . . It’s really just. . . It’s a fucked up film. I don’t understand why. . .
Jeff:
I like it.
Casey:
The songs are terrible.
Jeff:
The songs are great.
Casey:
And the cowardly lion performance. . .
Jeff:
Is fucking awesome. He’s awesome.
Casey:
It’s terrible. It’s such a bad movie.
Jeff:
No. I have some movies where that actor is in it.
Casey:
Yeah?
Jeff:
And…
Casey:
He’d do the same thing?
Jeff:
No. But he has this voice where you’re like… ‘Cos he’s heavily made up so you don’t recognize him right away in…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
You know, because he doesn’t look like the lion.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
But then, his voice, you’re like, “Who is that?” And it takes you a while. And then once it hits you, just totally lose your mind. Yeah.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
It’s good action.
Casey:
It’s like, “Oh, he tried out for the role of Chewbacca in ‘Star Wars’.”
Jeff:
Stop it. Stop it. Oh, no, it’s good action.
Casey:
“Chewie, you’ve got to fix the ship.” [inaudible 34:12]
Jeff:
Stop it.
Casey:
“There’s a lot of Star Destroyers.”
Jeff:
Stop it.
Casey:
“Isn’t there some kind of compartment we can hide in?”
Jeff:
Stop it.
Casey:
[inaudible 34:20]
Jeff:
No. Stop it with you and your orange lips at the same time. It’s freaking me out.
Casey:
You and your orange lips.
Jeff:
So what else have we got? So…
Casey:
Well, that’s all I was gonna say. Is that the shit on it…
Jeff:
You didn’t like that movie?
Casey:
Yeah. There was another one… What else was on the TV? “Cloak & Dagger” was on. Do you rememeber “Cloak & Dagger”?
Jeff:
“Cloak & Dagger”. “Cloak & Dagger”.
Casey:
“Cloak & Dagger” is a film that I watched a lot.
Jeff:
War games?
Casey:
What?
Jeff:
Is that a war games-y movie? I don’t remember.
Casey:
Well, okay… So what happens in “Cloak & Dagger”, right… “Cloak & Dagger” is a film about a b--… Every man as a child.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Every child…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Is playing video games. He is very good at video games…
Jeff:
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s right.
Casey:
He likes to play them, right? Not like “Tron” where he’s an adult who designed the game and someone stole it…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Space [ Paranoids ] and four other games, right, that were misappropriated…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
By someone else in order for them to profit from his development activities…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
In flagrant violation of the [ Burn ] Convention among other things, right? Not that kind of a thing.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
This is a boy. This is like Elliot from “ET”.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Although I don’t think it actually is Elliot from “ET”.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
But he is playing video games and through no fault of his own, through a mishap, a mix-up, he ends up with the video game cartridge that, unbeknownst to him, has secret plans… The plans that the fate of the world… I don’t know how to finish this sentence. Rest on the plans not being in the hands of the Russians or…
Jeff:
The fate of the world?
Casey:
The fate of the world hangs in the balance of these plans.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
For some reason.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
I don’t know what their plan is for.
Jeff:
And they’re on this console?
Casey:
Okay. No, they’re on the cartridge.
Jeff:
Oh, [ I know, the card. ]
Casey:
Yeah. Right, right, right…
Jeff:
So they burned one card special.
Casey:
They burn a card special. Here’s the key, right…
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
We don’t want just anyone to be able to access the information on this cartridge.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
So instead of making it so that you put the cartridge into an Atari 2600 game system, power it on, and see the secret plans…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Or instead of just having it encrypted on the chip and you don’t plug it into a console at all…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
They still burned the game but they replaced level 11. . .
Jeff:
11?
Casey:
I think…
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
With the plans. So you have to be good at the game and get up to…
Jeff:
Ah, I see.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So anyway, in this movie, there is some spies who are trying to get the cartridge back from the boy…
Jeff:
Is this as bad as it sounds?
Casey:
It’s fabulous.
Jeff:
You love it? Alright.
Casey:
No, it’s a terrible film.
Jeff:
It’s terrible.
Casey:
And in it, Dabney Coleman, I believe…
Jeff:
Oh, God. Fresh off the [ “9 to 5” money? ]
Casey:
Yeah. Dabney Coleman plays a dual role as the father of the child…
Jeff:
Whoa.
Casey:
Who is never around. He’s an airplane pilot.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
He’s an absentee dad.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Elliot cannot have a relationship with his father, ET, because he’s absentee.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
Okay. He’s not there. He’s a pilot. He flies a lot. He’s often in other cities.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
But the child wants to have a relationship with his father.
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
So he imagines his father as the star of his pen and paper favourite game called “Cloak & Dagger”, okay.
Jeff:
This is one of those “Choose Your Own Adventure”?
Casey:
The main man, Jack Black… No. Jack [ Flack ]…
Jeff:
Jack [ Flack ]? I don’t like [ his name ].
Casey:
No. I want to say Jack [ Flack ].
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Because Jack Black came to mind and that’s not it. Jack [ Flack ], let’s say… So the console, the game cartridge is the videogame adaptation of this pen and paper game which is why the kid wanted it, right.
Jeff:
I understand.
Casey:
Okay. Anyway, it’s a very… It’s a tear jerking emotional story…
Jeff:
Sounds like it…
Casey:
The Jack [ Flack ] character gets shot which symbolizes the child’s loss of innocence. And the dad ends up saving the day which is him kind of stepping into the role of real father…
Jeff:
Sounds like… Yeah.
Casey:
Replacing… It’s a beautiful, timeless, archetypal story.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
That was all.
Jeff:
If you insist.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
I think that…
Jeff:
Dabney fucking Coleman…
Casey:
That kind of spelled the end of Dabney Coleman’s acting career…
Jeff:
Career, I think…
Casey:
He was in some sitcom…
Jeff:
No, he had some shit in the 80’s, yeah.
Casey:
Yeah, there was some sitcom.
Jeff:
I kind of remember it being funny but it wasn’t…
Casey:
I don’t remember what it was.
Jeff:
He’s so unlikeable. And it was supposed to be… I think… I don’t remember what it was but it was in something and I remember it being good, actually. But he…
Casey:
I have not…
Jeff:
He is not a likeable human being.
Casey:
I am not. I don’t think I remember it well enough to even know if I liked him.
Jeff:
Like, Charles [inaudible 39:19] and him should have an [ odd couple ] called “People You Hate”.
Casey:
A little contest?
Jeff:
Yeah. And they just would do annoying things. Yeah.
Casey:
Awesome.
Jeff:
Yeah. That’s not the way it should go. That is definitely not the way it should go.
Casey:
I’m trying to think of what else… I don’t know if there… There aren’t any movies that I remember specifically. “Cloak & Dagger”… I think I must have seen that movie a ton of times when I was a kid because I loved video games when I was little.
Jeff:
Yeah, I don’t think I’ve seen that. I think I can imagine what it looks like but I don’t… That’s not [ at all memorable ].
Casey:
I’m gonna be pretty with myself if I actually remembered Jack [ Flack ] properly but I don’t know…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
If Jack Black were actually in that film, that would’ve been pretty fucking cool. They should do a remake of that. Yeah, like, “Looks like someone stole the game cartridge.”
Jeff:
“What a douche.”
Casey:
No, you wouldn’t be playing… He’s not gonna be playing…
Jeff:
One of his other characters?
Casey:
Nacho Libre as a spy but it doesn’t matter because Jack Black only has one thing which is Jack Black.
Jeff:
Which is him, yes.
Casey:
He doesn’t actually…
Jeff:
Exactly.
Casey:
It’s like, “Oh, I can kind of do a Spanish accent with me.”
Jeff:
Yes. Well, so, I went to… After all this stuff…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Staying at home all the time, watching TV all the time…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
I was, like, sick of junk food. I was sick of one long [inaudible 40:35] day worth of junk food.
Casey:
Yes. [inaudible 40:36]… 7 days of [inaudible 40:37] day.
Jeff:
So, I went over…
Casey:
The 7 days of [inaudible 40:40]…
Jeff:
John told me about this restaurant that used to be in Oklahoma where he was.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
And then, it’s here… And he likes it. He likes to go biking and then go eat in it… It’s the Pan Era Bread over at Redman.
Casey:
Okay. I thought Pan Era Bread was an East Coast?
Jeff:
Oh, okay. You’ve been to one, then?
Casey:
On the East Coast.
Jeff:
Oh okay.
Casey:
I didn’t know we had them here.
Jeff:
Yeah, yeah. There’s one here, okay. And this freaked me out, okay.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
’Cos dude, it’s all bread, okay.
Casey:
What a surprise.
Jeff:
Wait.
Casey:
It’s called Pan Era Bread.
Jeff:
I went in and I said, “Okay. I guess I’ll have the sundried tomato sandwich.” And they’re like, “Okay, what side do you want? Do you want a bagel or a baguette?” So like, would you like bread with your bread? And I’m like, “Uh, a baguette, I guess.”
Casey:
It’s a bread store.
Jeff:
And then I said, “And I’ll get the tomato bisque.” And they’re like, “That comes in a bread bowl.” And I’m like, “Fuck.”
Casey:
Awesome.
Jeff:
And then, I look over at the desserts and it’s like…
Casey:
It’s [ bread pudding ].
Jeff:
Pastries…
Casey:
Yeah, yeah.
Jeff:
And it’s cake and all that.
Casey:
“Did you want one of our bread shakes?”
Jeff:
Yeah, exactly…
Casey:
It’s like… Yeah.
Jeff:
So I get…
Casey:
It’s got a yeast boost.
Jeff:
No, it’s even worse. I get my stuff. I go sit down. I got a salad. The croutons in the salad were bigger than the salad, okay. And then I’m like… And this one, I’m just kinda weirded out by all the bread. And I look up. All of the artwork in the entire restaurant…
Casey:
Is bread-themed?
Jeff:
Is bread, like this crazy lady with a loaf of bread. And then I look right around and then there’s a whole wall that’s full of photographs, like artsy kind of black and white…
Casey:
With bread in them?
Jeff:
With bread!
Casey:
Awesome.
Jeff:
I’m like… I’m freaking out with all the bread. They need to stop.
Casey:
They need to have, like, the person by the counters in some big neoprene baguette costume. He’s like, “Can I take your order?” So Pan Era Bread is actually one of those product names that, like, sneaks up on people, I think, like Spandex where it’s like, “This thing is just the word but people don’t pick up on it.” Like Spandex is just expand with the syllables flipped.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Right? Which is what it is, right?
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
And Pan Era Bread is the same thing. It’s Bread Era, right, Pan Era Bread.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
I love things like that when you find them. And they’re everywhere, you know.
Jeff:
I hate things like that.
Casey:
Well, I like finding them. I don’t actually like them, I guess.
Jeff:
Yes. Okay. That’s true.
Casey:
I like the challenge…
Jeff:
You like the discovery?
Casey:
Of making sure I recognize all of the, like, things that someone thought was cool when they named it.
Jeff:
It should’ve just been called “Too Much Fucking Bread” because here’s the thing. I ate my lunch. I felt like I was…
Casey:
Yeah, it’s all expanding in there…
Jeff:
Like, every time I sip the Mountain Dew, it was like… I’m like…
Casey:
Borborygmous?
Jeff:
Yeah, it was not the way it should go.
Casey:
Well…
Jeff:
Bread [inaudible 43:26]
Casey:
The… What was the thing I was gonna say about the Pan Era Bread?
Jeff:
You like a good bread.
Casey:
I can’t remember. Move on.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
I can’t remember.
Jeff:
Yeah. And then, on the way back, I got… Okay, so this is a pet peeve. It’s when people…
Casey:
Oh, this is a pet peeve?
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
The Pan Era Bread thing, having too much bread… The bread store having too much bread in it was not a pet peeve. The pet peeve is something else.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
The pet peeve is coming now.
Jeff:
No, they’re both pet peeves. This was a day…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
So I’m, like… I’m finally off the couch.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
I’m not getting nauseous for the first time in four days.
Casey:
You’re swelling up with bread.
Jeff:
I’m swelling up with bread.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And right in front of me is a person going across the crosswalk.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And so, I hate when there’s people that cross the street way too slowly because…
Casey:
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
Jeff:
No, not because I want to get past…
Casey:
Who gives a shit?
Jeff:
No, because it’s not about me.
Casey:
Yes, it is about you.
Jeff:
No, wait. Let me finish. It’s because people who walk across the street are never up to any good.
Casey:
What?
Jeff:
It’s just bad.
Casey:
They’re crossing the fucking street.
Jeff:
No. If they’re crossing the street, you just walk across the street, right?
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
When someone’s sashaying across the street and the thing’s flashing. You’re like… He’s still gonna be in the interior lane when the light goes green and doesn’t care. That means he’s either crazy…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Stoned…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Doesn’t have anywhere to be…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
“Street’s as good as any place else. I’m just hanging here. I’m with my peeps in the street.” Every reason for him to be crossing the street too slowly is bad.
Casey:
No, this is just stupid. This is retarded.
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
It’s retarded because that is never the thing that you would focus on, right? That is never the case, right? If you’re like, “Wow, this guy totally would have fooled me. I would’ve thought he was like the fucking CEO of Ebay when he crossed the street.” It’s like, no. The dudes you’re talking about have piss stains down their leg…
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
In sweatpants that are, like, hanging off…
Jeff:
That’s just it. They’re always trying to trick you.
Casey:
They’re looking weird in some weird direction.
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
Their hair’s all fucked up. They’re usually talking to somebody who’s also fucked up…
Jeff:
I… No…
Casey:
Who’s, like, tweaking and he’s walking, like, too far ahead of the guy. And you’re like, “No, the reason I knew he was up to no good is he crossed the street too slow.”
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
It’s like, “Bravo, Sherlock Holmes.”
Jeff:
It’s all about the street.
Casey:
What the fuck are you talking about?
Jeff:
It’s all about the street. Totally.
Casey:
It’s not about… That’s, like, the last thing you would notice.
Jeff:
No. Dude, sometimes, they’re just like…
Casey:
The dude’s talking to himself…
Jeff:
Yeah, ‘cos you think maybe he’s on the phone.
Casey:
He’s covered in bird shit.
Jeff:
He’s like, talking… Oh, he’s probably using the phone. But no, he’s walking across the street too slow.
Casey:
He’s not using the fucking phone. He doesn’t have a Bluetooth headset.
Jeff:
You think he would but no…
Casey:
He can’t even find his fucking ear underneath all that hair. There’s no… You’re totally… This is like…
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
You’re focusing in on the most weird…
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
Like, “Let’s check the DNA evidence.” Like, you’ll be handed photographs of the dude…
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
Shooting the other dude…
Jeff:
It’s totally unnecessary.
Casey:
You’ve got it videotaped. The guy’s like, “Yeah, I did it.” And you’re like, “Aha. But I noticed you have a penchant for peach cobbler.”
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
“How do I know this?”
Jeff:
“Because you walk too slow.”
Casey:
“Because you have a Pan Era Bread…” Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
That’s my pet peeve.
Casey:
That’s pathetic.
Jeff:
No, it’s not pathetic.
Casey:
That’s the stupidest pet peeve.
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
That is just silly.
Jeff:
If somebody crosses the street too slowly… You know what, never make eye contact.
Casey:
Oh, yeah, that… Clue in on that.
Jeff:
Never make eye contact.
Casey:
Clue in on that. Yeah.
Jeff:
You know, in New York once, we drove in in Vanessa’s car and she was really worried about getting dinged and shit just ‘cos, like, it’s New York.
Casey:
Yeah. And it’s Vanessa.
Jeff:
Slow walker walking across the street…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And we’re waiting and waiting and waiting. And then finally, Vanessa goes, “C’mon,” like that…
Casey:
I wouldn’t do that.
Jeff:
The guy goes, “Hey, you like what you see?” And then started doing this crazy dance in front of the car.
Casey:
Oh, yeah, baby.
Jeff:
And once again, slow walking is not the way to go. Just saying. It’s a tip from me to you. You see a slow walker, they might be freaking. It’s a possibility. You just…
Casey:
It is a possibility. It is a possibility.
Jeff:
It is, totally. Oh, man. What’s next?
Casey:
I don’t know.
Jeff:
We’ve got another hour to go.
Casey:
I guess… Let’s see here. I had something…
Jeff:
You had something. What’ve you got?
Casey:
That I wanted to mention…
Jeff:
Uh-huh.
Casey:
Now and again… I think basically, you know, I nominally have my own company.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Right? But that’s just ‘cos you need to for, like, tax and code ownership things, right? It’s not like the company…
Jeff:
It’s best [ outright ].
Casey:
Needs to exist because there is, like, vast hierarchy or employees that are being sort of driven to do my every whim and so on…
Jeff:
So far?
Casey:
So far, yeah, as far as everyone knows. But I think what happens is most people, you know, these head hunter types, folks that are constantly recruiting for software engineering people, right?
Jeff:
Oh, right…
Casey:
Because I just have this little company that never releases anything, you know, it’s first product will probably be. . ..
Jeff:
Oh, they’re [ calling all the time ].
Casey:
Like, this year, whatever, right…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
They think that it’s just like, “Oh, here’s just some dude who, like, we know through the grapevine is a programmer who we might want to get. But obviously, he’s not doing anything right now. So let’s send him every fucking retarded ass request we can think of…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Right? Like, “Do you want to write a column for Game Developer magazine for $750 a month?” Right?
Jeff:
That was awesome.
Casey:
Like, no, I do not want to write for your piece of shit magazine for $750 a month which is, like, my coffee bill, right?
Jeff:
Awesome.
Casey:
So I can write this, you know, ridiculous… Like, so obviously, that’s not gonna happen but I get these ads. And one of the ones that was sent to me recently was totally awesome. It was a request for web programming which I get every so often even though I have no web programming…
Jeff:
Oh, this is the one you forwarded… Yeah, okay. This is awesome.
Casey:
I forwarded this to you. It a company that I had never heard of before.
Jeff:
It’s awesome. Okay.
Casey:
Called [ Zividy.com ].
Jeff:
Yeah, do you have the ad?
Casey:
Like, [ zippidy ] doo.
Jeff:
[ Zippidy ] doo.
Casey:
I have some excerpts of the ad that I’d be happy to read to you.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
And so…
Jeff:
So it’s just a web…
Casey:
It is a social networking site.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Okay? But…
Jeff:
Read the ad first… Yeah.
Casey:
I didn’t know anything about it.
Jeff:
I’d never heard of it.
Casey:
When I got this head hunter request.
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
And it said, “[Zividy ] is a shiny, new funded company in San Francisco with a cavernous office space located just above South Park.”
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
I don’t know where that is.
Jeff:
I don’t know where it is.
Casey:
I know the TV show.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
“We offer free yoga practice…”
Jeff:
That’s nice.
Casey:
“Twice a week…”
Jeff:
Okay. Yeah.
Casey:
I could use that. I am not limber.
Jeff:
I am not flexible.
Casey:
I have often… I believe that my hamstrings are prematurely taut. And I would be happy…
Jeff:
Did you ever take a class at Alicia’s place?
Casey:
I have never taken a class.
Jeff:
You actually checked people in for us before.
Casey:
I what?
Jeff:
You manned the front desk a couple times.
Casey:
No, that is not true. You’re thinking of the other Casey who was an employee of yours.
Jeff:
No, no… Yes.
Casey:
That’s not me.
Jeff:
That’s true. Oh, that’s not you?
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
That wasn’t me. And she’s a girl.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
But thank you so much for your confusion.
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
Now, “Offer free yoga practice twice a week, OSX laptops for engineers…”
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Not that big a plus. I already have one but, okay, glad they threw in the choice of operating system there because that would’ve been make or break for me. “Widescreen monitors…”
Jeff:
Oh, yeah.
Casey:
And it’s… Hmmm… Web development, widescreen monitor? Not sure why I need that but okay.
Jeff:
So your Flash can open full screen…
Casey:
So I think… I’m just wondering. I don’t know why… “And more snacks than anyone should ever eat.”
Jeff:
Alright, there’s snack. Okay. Sounds good.
Casey:
Sounds good.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Oh, but there’s one more sentence.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
“Oh, and the chance to help all women become stars.”
Jeff:
Ooh, okay. That could go a lot of ways.
Casey:
So I was like, “Hmmm… Combine that with the widescreen monitor, I’m not sure what you’re trying to ask me to do here.”
Jeff:
Cavernous… Yeah.
Casey:
All you can eat snacks is okay but I can only use that on Tuesdays. It’s starting to sound a little questionable. So at the end of the ad, they just come right out and say it, pretty much.
Jeff:
Which is?
Casey:
The final sentence is, “Enthusiasm for an entrepreneurial start-up environment,” (which I do not have, so that’s a problem), “and a high tolerance,” tolerance…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
“For pictures of nude women is a must.”
Jeff:
Here it comes. Oh, okay. There it was. So then you’re like, “I now know what you do.”
Casey:
So I was like, “This is clearly just some porn consolidator site…”
Jeff:
Porn, right… Yep.
Casey:
I have a friend of mine, who you actually know. You know Sarah. Right?
Jeff:
Yeah, sure.
Casey:
She actually was telling me at one point one of her boyfriends in the past was, like… Made some company that basically did, like porn statistic tracking. Like, that was what they did.
Jeff:
Awesome.
Casey:
So it wasn’t like a particular porn site. It was kind of like a… It was like back office for porn, if you will.
Jeff:
Back office…
Casey:
Back orifice, right?
Jeff:
But wait, so…
Casey:
So that’s what I thought in my mind. I was like… Okay, they didn’t come out and say like, “We need people to make a porn site.”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
They were, like, dancing around it. So I’m guessing, like, it must not be like straight porn or anything. It must be like a porn services company…
Jeff:
Okay, sure.
Casey:
So it’s like, “Look, you’re gonna be visiting websites. There’s gonna be some snatch on here.”
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
“So just… We’re telling you upfront so you don’t come into the office…”
Jeff:
And are surprised…
Casey:
And the interview’s like, “You know, we really liked your résumé. I just want to… Just a few more questions for you.”
Jeff:
“Under hobbies, you say Christian Fundamentalist. What’s…”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And then, in the background, naked lady. . .
Casey:
Yeah. Exactly. You’re like, “If I say the word, ‘areola’, for example… Anything… Do you have any comments on that?”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Right? “If for example, if I say 2 girls 1 blank, what do you…”
Jeff:
“What do you think of?”
Casey:
Yeah, right? I’m thinking that they’re just trying to keep that from having to happen so the interviewer knows, “Okay, no one’s gonna show up for this job interview unless they’re already ready for some bad news.”
Jeff:
Right. Because they don’t want to…
Casey:
Or good news if that’s what you’re into. Whatever. Right?
Jeff:
They don’t want to get sued for sexual harassment before they hire the employee.
Casey:
Right. They’re just like, “Look, we’re just putting it out there in the open. This is gonna be a situation.” Right.
Jeff:
Okay. So did you go to the site or something?
Casey:
So I went to look up what the site was ‘cos I figured, “Well, maybe it’s already up,” right?
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
It might not be up, in which case I don’t know. But if it’s up, alright… So it turns out what the site is is it’s not a porn site, per se, at least not in the normal way that you think of it. It is a social networking site…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Where you pay a subscription to be part of the site…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
I’m not clear on what it is other than you pay, like, $10 a month for it.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
And then, if you are a woman…
Jeff:
If you are a woman…
Casey:
Whose naked body someone could conceivably want to look at…
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
You can put your pictures into the site and then other subscribers can look at them. And when they look at them, they can basically thumb up or thumb down it with some conserved number of thumbs, if you will.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Like, you get a thumb allotment.
Jeff:
A thumb in, a thumb out.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And the people who get the highest number of thumbs share in the $10 subscription profit.
Jeff:
Ah, I see…
Casey:
So it is like a co-op…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
A porn co-op.
Jeff:
Co-op… Alright.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
And of course, the company… But it is capitalistic. This company takes something, presumably a large amount…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Off the top… It is ad-free.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So it’s all TNA and no A…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
It’s TNA without A, if you will, without the additional A, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Most free porn would be TA and A. This is just TNA.
Jeff:
And so…
Casey:
Okay? And that is their big thing. Now, shocking as this may seem, I did not subscribe. So I have no real information about the service beyond what was publicly available…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
In the news articles about this site. But that is what it is. Needless to say, I did not accept the offer.
Jeff:
Yeah. Well…
Casey:
I was flattered that I was considered…
Jeff:
For the job…
Casey:
For this esteemed position…
Jeff:
Well, I like the picture of the founder of it actually is on the site herself…
Casey:
That’s right. The founder apparently is one of the people who basically… ‘Cos you’ve got to beta test the site.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Right? There’s no people on it.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Right? There are no nude females on there.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
You gotta have… It’s a chicken and egg problem.
Jeff:
Sausage fest.
Casey:
It’s a chicken and ass problem.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
You’ve got to get some ass on there or there won’t be any more chickens to lay the more ass, right?
Jeff:
It’s a penis and ass problem.
Casey:
Or a chick and ass problem, if you will.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Right? And so she was like, “I’m the founder. I’m gonna put it out there.”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
“And I just want to say, from the look of the photo that was in this press release…”
Jeff:
Right. Not attractive?
Casey:
Not a $10 a month site…
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
I’m thinking, right?
Jeff:
She’s not…
Casey:
Not a $10 a month site…
Jeff:
Thumbs down? Thumbs out. Thumbs way out.
Casey:
She is not getting one of my coveted thumbs…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
For that photo.
Jeff:
Well, what I like is she’s trying to do, like… It’s like, she’s looked at other sexy pictures and said, like, “You kinda gotta arch your back and then stick your butt out a bit.” But the way she’s posed, it’s like she’s going, “Oh, my back.”
Casey:
“Oh, my back.”
Jeff:
“Oh, gosh, I’ve got a knot.”
Casey:
She’s meant to be in some kind of a leather thing and it just ends up looking like a weight belt, basically.
Jeff:
Yeah. And she’s bending over…
Casey:
Like, “Oh, yeah, I’ve been trying to keep my hernia in…”
Jeff:
Yeah, it’s a hernia belt.
Casey:
You know, like, “The doctor says I’ve got to keep this on.”
Jeff:
Yeah. I guarantee you this porn…
Casey:
Well, I’m glad she… I hope the company does well because I don’t see her having a future…
Jeff:
As a model?
Casey:
As a model…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
You know…
Jeff:
No, ‘cos she’s big in the hernia fetish sites. She’s…
Casey:
Oh, yeah. Right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah.
Jeff:
“Can you try to pick up that pen and then hold your back and grunt?”
Casey:
Yeah, totally.
Jeff:
Oh, that’s awesome. Alright.
Casey:
Oh, [ “Ow, my porn.” ]
Jeff:
Oh, my God. So do they have, like, different sections? Is there, like, gay Republican section? Is there…
Casey:
Yeah, that’s called congress.
Jeff:
Yeah, that’s totally true. It’s almost… You can’t stand it. It’s every week. It’s ridiculous.
Casey:
I know, it’s ridi--… It’s awesome.
Jeff:
It’s silly now. Like, they used to make fun of it on “The Stranger”. And they’re just like, “What can we say? It’s. . .”
Casey:
It’s not funny anymore, right? It’s not funny. It’s not funny. This is the thing with “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”, right? I’ve seen it too many times, right?
Jeff:
And it’s just not funny.
Casey:
At some point, a Republican being gay becomes what you expect. . .
Jeff:
And not be the exception. . .
Casey:
Not what is shocking, right?
Jeff:
Yes. It’s insane.
Casey:
And it makes perfect sense, right? People think that they need to eliminate social problems that they themselves feel like they are going to have.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right? So if you think that being gay is a problem, right. . .
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Then even if that’s just something that sort of crossed your mind. . . If you yourself have no gay tendencies, how. . . You’re not really gonna project this threat. You don’t feel like it’s gonna be an epidemic. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Because you’re not thinking about ass 24/7, alright?
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
But if you are, then you’re like, “Oh, my God. . .”
Jeff:
“I got a shot myself. . .”
Casey:
You know, like, “My religion or my culture that I was raised in has been saying that gay is bad and man, let me tell you, everyone’s just on the edge. They could go ‘cos that’s. . . I know. Trust me on this one,” right?
Jeff:
“Because I am. It’s all I’m thinking about.”
Casey:
“We gotta do something about this,” you know?
Jeff:
“I’m on this website, giving thumbs up all day long.”
Casey:
Yeah. There’s been thumbs everywhere. . .
Jeff:
“It’s costing me a fortune!”
Casey:
This is the problem, right? It’s the same thing with gambling. I know that the people who are all about restricting your poker sites, you know, they’re like, totally like, “Oh, yeah. Come to my house Friday. Bring your visor and the chips. We’re gonna get. . . You know, and the Cuban cigars. . . We’re gonna have a good old fashioned 100K game.” And that’s a universal truth that’s been true throughout history. I mean, I’m sure that it’s news to no one. Yet, somehow. . .
Jeff:
It’s always a huge surprise.
Casey:
It still seems to be a surprise.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Because back when this first started happening, when they first started uncovering, like, the sex. . . The gay Republican sex scandal of the week. . . It was like, “Wow,” like, “Yeah, these guys who are so against it are. . .”
Jeff:
“That’s funny.”
Casey:
It’s like, why were we surprised? Like, that’s just. . .
Jeff:
They’re all. . .
Casey:
We should just expect it, you know?
Jeff:
Right. Yes.
Casey:
That’s just what you would expect, you know?
Jeff:
Yep. So what you’re saying is pretty soon, you’re gonna lobby your congressman for global [inaudible 60:46] Day. [inaudible 60:49] Day has kind of died out. You had some bad [inaudible 60:52] Days and you kinda stopped it.
Casey:
Yeah, I think. . . I don’t know what I’m gonna do. It’s just. . . Once. . . When you stop eating junk food and then you do eat it frequently, it has a much heavier effect on you. It’s much like caffeine or anything else where if you don’t have it regularly. . .
Jeff:
You gotta. . .
Casey:
I think your body doesn’t have as much of a tolerance for it. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
You know, I don’t know if that’s scientifically born out but just in terms of the way I feel on Tuesdays, you know. . .
Jeff:
You’re pretty [inaudible 61:19]
Casey:
So I need to do something else.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I did my [inaudible 61:21] Day today because I, like, you know, was done with the [inaudible 61:24] I’m never working on.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
And so, I went and. . .
Jeff:
[inaudible 61:27] Sushi Day.
Casey:
So I had sushi and some chocolates.
Jeff:
Oh, okay.
Casey:
And so, maybe that’s what I’ll do. Instead of having a [inaudible 61:33] Day, instead of having something that’s weekly, I’ll just do it very, very infrequently. . .
Jeff:
I see. I see.
Casey:
Like, I’ll have some chocolates when I finish something.
Jeff:
Well, there are people that just can’t. . .
Casey:
As a little treat. . .
Jeff:
Help but indulge. And I would point. . .
Casey:
Indulge? Indulgence in chocolates, delicious. . .
Jeff:
I was gonna point this out because this is. . . This is kind of the Eliot Spitzer on steroids story. And that’s the dude that owns the F1 racing company in Germany. I can’t remember what car, if it’s McLaren or what. . .
Casey:
Ah. . . Yes. You did send me his link.
Jeff:
I forwarded you this.
Casey:
This is an awesome. . .
Jeff:
Yeah, this is just perfect.
Casey:
Awesome. . . It was amazing. This is Max Mosley. I don’t know how you pronounce his name. We’ll say it’s Max Mosley for now because Max Mosley sounds like. . .
Jeff:
Such a German videogame. . .
Casey:
It’s a James Bond name. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
There is a James Bond character named Max Mosley. . .
Jeff:
Mosley, Max Mosley. . .
Casey:
For sure. For absolute fucking sure. There’s no question about that.
Jeff:
Yes. But he had a bad week. This was a couple weeks ago but he had a bad time of it.
Casey:
Well, I would say he had a good week, it sounds like. It sounds like he had a very good week. The only problem was that someone was videotaping just how good his week got.
Jeff:
I see. I see.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
And he got for. . .? Exactly. . .?
Casey:
So, the headline is “Formula 1’s Nazi Sex Scandal”.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So that’s pretty good right there.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I mean, I don’t know that I’m ever going to be able to achieve one of my lifelong dreams which is to have a headline that discusses me have the word “sex scandal” in the title.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
“Casey Sex Scandal”, yeah.
Casey:
I would settle. . . If it was just “Muratori Sex Scandal”. . .
Jeff:
“Muratori’s. . .”
Casey:
I win.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
That is it. Like, I can die the next day and get hit by a bus. . .
Jeff:
“Muratori’s [inaudible 63:16] Day Sex Scandal”.
Casey:
We are fine, right?
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
This guy was like, “No, no, no, no, no.”
Jeff:
It’s not enough.
Casey:
“I’m a billionaire. Fuck you.”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
“I don’t want a sex scandal. I don’t even want Formula 1 sex scandal. I want Formula 1 Nazi sex scandal.” It’s like, you throw in some UFO’s and JFK in there and you’ve basically got, like, a pulp fiction. . .
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Dime novel. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And he’s living it.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
And he’s like. . .
Casey:
It is his life, not fiction. . .
Jeff:
And he’s a Mason or something. . .
Casey:
Yeah, right. Right, right. Yeah. Turns out he’s immortal, you know, and they’re actually robot Nazis. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Anyway. . .
Jeff:
So what was the Nazi. . . So Nazi’s have a lot of sex, I guess?
Casey:
I will simply. . .
Jeff:
I don’t know.
Casey:
I don’t know. I guess. Well, you know, I don’t know.
Jeff:
This is maybe the sexy enemy thing again.
Casey:
I don’t know that much about Nazi’s. Like, one of the things about audiobooks is I’ve really been wanting to get an audiobook of the. . .
Jeff:
World War II?
Casey:
Is it “Rise and Fall of the Third Reich” or “Rise and Decline of the Third Reich”?
Jeff:
Oh, yeah. I mentioned that Friday.
Casey:
And you know, I’d like to get some other books because I don’t have many, like, basically from the German point of view. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And in general, my World War II history is weak. I would basically say that American History, for me, is weak. It’s very weak. My Western Civilization knowledge is pretty strong. I mean, strong is probably the wrong word for it.
Jeff:
It’s not. . .
Casey:
It’s above average.
Jeff:
Right. It’s not Theo. . .
Casey:
No, it is not Theo. Like, if Theo is strong, then I am weak. But assuming that Theo is God-like in Western Civ, then I have good Western Civ knowledge, right? But what happened was in high school, I had a good Western Civ teacher.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
Right? And that was freshman year. Now, American History was, like, junior year. And it was the worst teacher in the school or one of them. And so, I just don’t know what the fuck happened.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
I have no idea what happened. . .
Jeff:
What’s going on. . .
Casey:
Because Western Civ class was one year and it ended basically in the modern era of the United States. So when you get to 1900, it stopped. And so, my knowledge of what happened in the world after 1900’s. . . And, plus, that Western Civ class was kind of intentionally weak from 1776 to 1900. . .
Jeff:
Anyway. . .
Casey:
In America. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Because it was, like, not. . . It was like, you’re gonna get that later when you take American History. No, you are not was actually what happened, right? So I’ve been trying to rectify that. I’ve been listening to a bunch of stuff on sort of the early founding of the country and that’s been really good. And you know, I was listening to some World War II stuff. I listened to the Ken Burns documentary but it was terrible.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
It was shitty.
Jeff:
Yeah, I remember you [ complained about that ].
Casey:
Really shitty, yeah. “The War” by Ken Burns is a horrible. . . It’s an abortion of a documentary. But yeah, so my understanding, my very poor understanding of what happened actually in Nazi Germany was that I think they were actually having less sex because one of the big things that Hitler’s. . . You know, people always are focusing on the Jewish elimination thing. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
But Hitler was against everything.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Like, he was particularly against Jews for whatever fucking reason. . .
Jeff:
Homosexuals. . . Yeah. They all had that different. . . Sure. . .
Casey:
It was everything. Just debauchery, in general. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Right? So, you know, Jews, yes. But then, debauchery, homosexuality, all these other things that have nothing to do with Judaism. . .
Jeff:
The different colored stars, sure.
Casey:
Like, we don’t care if you were Jewish or anything. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
You know. . . So my feeling was that probably, the 3rd Reich ushered in an era of less fun. . .
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Sexually. . .
Jeff:
But. . .
Casey:
Than had been there before. It doesn’t mean it wasn’t sexy.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
It just means it was less of it.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Less sex.
Jeff:
Alright. But no, not with this fellow.
Casey:
Max Mosley disagrees.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
With my analysis. And he’s from Europe. He probably has more understanding. Their school probably had a better history class on this.
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
And maybe as [ I learn ] [inaudible 67:17] All I know is this article that you sent me said, “Last Sunday, the British tabloid, ‘News of the World’, posted video footage on its website of Mosley and 5 prostitutes in what it frothily described as a depraved Nazi-style orgy in a torture dungeon.”
Jeff:
Ouch.
Casey:
Now, one interesting thing about that, before I go on, because there’s more, is that they used the term “Nazi-style orgy”. Not a Nazi-themed orgy. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Okay? Because Nazi-themed is a word that you could apply to anything. . .
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
And someone would assume that it means that there is Nazi’s in it. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Uniforms or fascism or something. . .
Jeff:
[ Or clubs ]. . .
Casey:
Nazi-style implies that somewhere, there is a documented way in which Nazis have orgies that differs in some key aspects from the way that someone who is not a Nazi would have an orgy.
Jeff:
Same elements. . . Right.
Casey:
Like, a Marxist orgy, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
It’s like, “Oh, yeah.”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
“That’s not a Nazi orgy.”
Jeff:
What, are you crazy?
Casey:
“You can tell by the fact that they’re all lying sideways.”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
I don’t know what that means. So that deserves some clarification in my mind. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
But anyway, to continue on with the paragraph. . . “In the secretly filmed video, the paper reports, Mosley ‘barks orders in German as he whips two hookers dressed in striped uniforms reminiscent of Auschwitz garb while girls in Nazi uniforms look on’.”
Jeff:
Oh, not good for the image. Not gonna be good. . .
Casey:
So this was not just a Nazi-style orgy.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
This was like a re-enactment.
Jeff:
Right. This was full on. . .
Casey:
This was like a historical context. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Something. . . He had a plan in his mind.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Right? You know, he was trying to recreate a sexual experience. . .
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
That he knows about in detail. . .
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
That is in his head, right?
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
Much like when Ian Anderson is trying to communicate to the band how Aqualung is supposed to be and they’re not getting it and he’s a tortured artists. And he’s like, “Why am I the only one who knows what this song is supposed to sound like? I’m surrounded by incompetence,” right?
Jeff:
“Idiots! You on the flute. . .”
Casey:
That is exactly what is happening to Max Mosley. He sees it so clearly. . .
Jeff:
But now. . .
Casey:
It makes perfect sense to him. And yet, somehow, these hookers haven’t got a thespian bone in their body.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
They read the ad wrong, right?
Jeff:
“Stay on script.”
Casey:
And it’s just a mess.
Jeff:
“No, adlibbing. No. . . Say the words that I wrote on the paper.”
Casey:
Yes, exactly. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jeff:
But now, he’s. . .
Casey:
Yeah, it’s like “My Best Fiend” you know?
Jeff:
So how. . .
Casey:
And Werner Herzog’s there and the dude’s just having a tirade, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
He cannot be controlled. The actor has flown off the handle. “How am I supposed to work like this?”
Jeff:
So what I don’t get is. . .
Casey:
You know?
Jeff:
How does he even know this? ‘Cos, like, he. . .
Casey:
How does he know what?
Jeff:
How does he know all this Nazi stuff? He’s a fairly young guy. . .
Casey:
Oh, sorry. I didn’t finish the article.
Jeff:
Oh, okay.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Oh, boy.
Casey:
No, it’s not just like, “Oh, I think this might be how the Nazi’s would have done things. . .”
Jeff:
Okay. “This is how they partied back in the day.”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
“I guess. I’m just guessing. I don’t know for sure.”
Casey:
“Mosley’s background ensures that he won’t get off that easily. His mother, Diana Mitford, was a celebrity British Nazi sympathizer in the pre-war years, while his father, Sir Oswald Mosley, founded and led the British Union of Fascists.”
Jeff:
Oh. . . Ouch.
Casey:
“A guest of honor at their wedding in 1936, at the Berlin home of Joseph Goebbels, was none other than Adolf Hitler.”
Jeff:
Wow! What you’re saying is he wasn’t the best man. . .
Casey:
So whatever orgy. . .
Jeff:
He wasn’t an usher. . .
Casey:
No, no, no. . .
Jeff:
But he was in the church.
Casey:
He was not. . . He did not give away the bride per se. . .
Jeff:
Right. But he was present.
Casey:
But he was there.
Jeff:
And he’s like, “This salmon sucks. . .”
Casey:
He threw some rice. Okay?
Jeff:
Really hard.
Casey:
He probably brought a present that was not very thoughtful.
Jeff:
Maybe one of his shady paintings. . .
Casey:
Eva Braun put him up to it. “I don’t want to go to this fucking wedding,” right?
Jeff:
Maybe he crashed it. He’s just like. . .
Casey:
Oh, yeah. . .
Jeff:
“I want to get. . .”
Casey:
“So guys, what is going on here?” And they’re like, “Oh, Adolf. . .”
Jeff:
“You dick.”
Casey:
“So is there going to be an orgy after? After the wedding?”
Jeff:
It’s going. . . He gives a terrible toast.
Casey:
Totally. It goes on for, like. . . First, he starts the toast with 5 minutes of silence, right. He doesn’t say anything for 5 minutes. Then he pounds the table. . .
Jeff:
“They will make the best couple of all time!”
Casey:
“They have not come here because they take marriage lightly. And when he kisses her, he means it.”
Jeff:
So. . .
Casey:
Yeah, and then uproarious applause.
Jeff:
So this is his parents? This is not like grandparents. His parents. . .
Casey:
It is his parents.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
1936.
Jeff:
Oh, my God. But like, Adolf Hitler could be his godfather. . .
Casey:
70 years ago. . .
Jeff:
And. . .
Casey:
Who knows?
Jeff:
Oh, my God. So this is. . . Yeah. It’s not good. It’s not good for him. He’s gonna need those fast cars to get away. Wow, that’s pretty good.
Casey:
Say, that reminds me.
Jeff:
It reminds you?
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Oh, my goodness. . .
Casey:
At my imaginary job at EA. . .
Jeff:
Oh, yeah. That’s right.
Casey:
Nazis reminded me. . .
Jeff:
Yeah, we haven’t talked. . .
Casey:
We haven’t. . .
Jeff:
Yeah. What’s going on there? We haven’t talked any games. You’ve been busy. I know that. So you’ve been busy at your imaginary job. What’s going on?
Casey:
I’ve been busy at my imaginary job at EA since I got back.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Working on the thing. . . I had a chilling realization. . .
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
’Cos as you know, I’ve been doing more investing lately. You and I talked about stocks and so on with Mike Abrash. . .
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
And [ Atmand ] in stock, kind of had a little discussion about how the market is going.
Jeff:
The end of the world as we know it.
Casey:
And, you know, one of the things that I think me and America have in common. . .
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Is that as we get more information, we get scared. We worry.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
It’s usually best to remain ignorant because that is bliss.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
But when you get information, then you might know something. . .
Jeff:
You might react.
Casey:
You might actually have to face up to a harsh reality.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
Whereas if you just don’t know it, it’s not really a problem.
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
At some level. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And the thing that I found out was that Electronic Arts, its market cap. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Is significantly higher than Burger King’s.
Jeff:
Really?
Casey:
My entire worldview. . .
Jeff:
Has been changed?
Casey:
Was predicated on the fact that I did not have to worry about the millions and millions of Dollars that I make every year. . .
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Stuffing advertising into everything we make because I was like, “Burger King. . .”
Jeff:
“I can always fall back. . .”
Casey:
“I can always fall back on Burger King.”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Such is not the case.
Jeff:
Not anymore.
Casey:
It is not the case. This is a problem.
Jeff:
So now, you’re taking your job a little more seriously. Yes.
Casey:
Taking it much more seriously. It was a big slap in the face, let me tell you.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It was water. . .
Jeff:
The wakeup call. . .
Casey:
Water in the face, if you will. . .
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Yeah, of my entire worldview. So that wasn’t good. That did not make me feel good about anything, really. So I was pretty nervous. But that wasn’t really the [inaudible 75:48] of the story. You just asked what was kind of going on. . .
Jeff:
Yeah, sure.
Casey:
Yeah. And I’m just pointing out to you the fact that that was bad. . .
Jeff:
You’re a little freaked out?
Casey:
Yeah. Which basically means that I need to start lining up some other people.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And I want people this time who are big. I don’t at the end of this. . . You know what, the King can go fuck it because he does not have the kind of money. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
That I thought we were gonna work up to. We’re milking him for everything he’s got already. Why am I spending any more time on this guy. . .
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
When he hasn’t got anymore cash?
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
You know?
Jeff:
So like, you’re gonna see like. . .
Casey:
It doesn’t make any sense.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Anyway, but the reason that it reminds me of Nazis is ‘cos I was working with the “Medal of Honor”. . .
Jeff:
Team. . .
Casey:
Team. . . Right?
Jeff:
Nazis. . .
Casey:
And what “Medal of Honor” is. . . Again, I don’t know ‘cos you might. . . I don’t know if you play a lot of those games.
Jeff:
No. I don’t play a lot of them.
Casey:
“Medal of Honor” is basically like a World War II themed shooter. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Where there’s nothing about it that is World War II except for the textures, right?
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So it’s exactly like playing “Quake”. . .
Jeff:
Or “Unreal” or any other. . .
Casey:
Or anything else, yeah. . .
Jeff:
Only there’s World War II textures. . .
Casey:
It’s just World War II.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Yeah. Nothing about it is World War II-ish, right. You know, there’s nothing. . .
Jeff:
There’s teleporters and Hell’s Gates. . .
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. One guy still kills everything. . .
Jeff:
Like, they’re draped with a flag.
Casey:
You survive through the entire game. . .
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
For starters. . .
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Which is something that doesn’t happen, you know, in World War II. You can shoot shit across the level with, like, you know, a pistol, all kinds of fun shit, yeah. It’s just World War II. . . Anyway, I was working with them on this and one of the things that recently kind of put a bee in the team’s bonnet. . . ‘Cos again, there’s some people that still work at EA who take pride in their work.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And as much as I try to prevent this sort of thing from happening, it happens anyway.
Jeff:
Yeah, okay.
Casey:
They got upset because “Call of Duty 4” was extremely well-received.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Right? Extremely well-received. Much better than “Medal of Honor” had been doing certainly for a long time, right?
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
And that was really kind of a blow to them. And they thought that maybe if they did some of the things that “Call of Duty 4” did in the next “Medal of Honor”. . .
Jeff:
I see. . .
Casey:
That it would help. Right?
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And one of the big things that people talked about in “Call of Duty 4” was this mode you could go into called Ragtime Warfare. . .
Jeff:
Alright, I remember this. . .
Casey:
Which basically sped everything up, right?
Jeff:
And played it. . .
Casey:
And played it really fast and it made it look like kind of like. . .
Jeff:
Yeah. Piano rag. . .
Casey:
Yeah, it was this funny kind of thing where they made. . . It was sort of like a Charlie Chaplin version of the game that you could play and everyone loved it, right?
Jeff:
Yep, I remember that.
Casey:
And what I had to explain to these people was the reason they could get away with that was because that was Islamic, right?
Jeff:
Right. That’s true.
Casey:
You are fighting modern day terrorists. . .
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And terrorists are funny, right?
Jeff:
They’re hysterical.
Casey:
I mean, think. . . Have you ever seen Osama Bin Laden? The guy looks like he’s about to tell you an old vaudeville joke, right?
Jeff:
Right. He looks like. . .
Casey:
It’s funny.
Jeff:
He looks like Bert with a turban on.
Casey:
Absolutely. Exactly.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Terrorism is funny.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
It’s a humorous thing.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Islamic terrorism is humorous. That’s why they got away with this.
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
Nazis aren’t funny.
Jeff:
They’re not funny.
Casey:
There’s nothing funny about a Nazi.
Jeff:
So when they run around fast. . .
Casey:
Right?
Jeff:
You’re just more scared.
Casey:
It’s terrifying, right? I mean, first of all, I won’t even tell you the kind of trouble you’re gonna get into with, like, you know, the Jewish defence league or something. . .
Jeff:
Right. Yeah.
Casey:
Right? For making fun of the fact. . . Making fun of the situation where they were nearly exterminated, right?
Jeff:
All to Benny Hill music.
Casey:
Yeah. Islamic terrorists suck at what they do, right? The reason they’re terrorists is because they haven’t been able to form an army to take over half the planet, okay? Terrorism isn’t something you do when you’re scary and successful. It’s something you do when you lost. Okay? That’s funny. I know 9/11 was a tragedy and everyone’s really upset about it. But let’s fucking face it. They weren’t that close to taking over the US, okay? This was not an invasion that came close to working. It was like, “Holy shit! We pulled that off?”
Jeff:
“Unbelievable.”
Casey:
“We’re probably never gonna be able to do anything that amazing again.” Like, that was it. That was their big thing.
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
They’re done. Okay? Nazis almost ruled the world, okay? The fact that Russia is huge and doesn’t mind dying and the fact that we eventually got bombed by Japanese who had their head up their ass is the only reason that the Nazi’s don’t run the world.
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
Okay? Japan doesn’t make a mistake. Stalin doesn’t care about all the people. And we would’ve had a really big problem on our hands.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
That’s not funny.
Jeff:
We don’t want to see that fast.
Casey:
No.
Jeff:
That should not be sped up.
Casey:
No, no, no, no, no.
Jeff:
Keep them slow.
Casey:
Nazis are legitimately scary, capable individuals who almost conquered the planet. Keep that in mind.
Jeff:
Right. So you had to explain to them. . .
Casey:
Anyway, that was the problem.
Jeff:
Nazis aren’t funny.
Casey:
Nazis aren’t funny. I don’t know how many times I say it. . .
Jeff:
They’re sexy. . .
Casey:
They can be sexy. . . Max Mosley says. . .
Jeff:
They can be sexy.
Casey:
They can be sexy.
Jeff:
But they can’t be funny.
Casey:
They can perhaps be a semi-humorous villain in the style of maybe Indiana Jones where you’re not really terrified of them, right?
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
You’re not talking about “Pan’s Labyrinth” where the [ Franco ]. . .
Jeff:
Right, right. . .
Casey:
I mean not technically, right, but same. . .
Jeff:
Yes, fascists. . .
Casey:
They are sort of. . . Yeah, whatever you want to call it. Fascist Nazi. . . Cahoots with the Nazis, I would say.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right? The Spanish wing of the Nazis. . . That guy is legitimately terrifying.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
He doesn’t have to be that terrifying. You can scale it down a bit and that still plays to an audience. But, like, the humorous Nazi. . .
Jeff:
It’s very difficult. . .
Casey:
People have tried it.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
It doesn’t usually go very well.
Jeff:
I agree.
Casey:
You know? And I don’t think we want to be pushing that when we could be pushing. . . I don’t know, I would’ve said chicken fingers in the past but now, I gotta find something else to sell.
Jeff:
Wal-Mart Stockers. . .
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Or maybe the little Wal-Mart happy face? I don’t know. You’re gonna have to work on that.
Casey:
Wal-Mart wouldn’t be bad.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
The problem with Wal-Mart. . .
Jeff:
Maybe you can put Sam Walt instead of the King in every game.
Casey:
That would be awesome.
Jeff:
Yeah, he drives his pickup truck. . .
Casey:
Wal-Mart is a penny-pinching establishment, though.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Wal-Mart is all about frugality.
Jeff:
Yep, that’s true.
Casey:
So what I’m concerned about is. . .
Jeff:
Maybe Warren Buffet. . .
Casey:
Oh, yeah, Warren Buffet. What are you talking about?
Jeff:
In every game, Warren Buffet. Yeah, it’d be awesome. I’m just saying. Alright, so we gotta stop. We’re, like. . . We’re over budget for the first one.
Casey:
This is a long. . .
Jeff:
Alright. So this is the end of part one.
Casey:
This is the end of part one.
Jeff:
We will see you again in two days.
Casey:
That’s right.
Jeff:
We’re gonna continue. So we’re teasing you. We’re gonna continue. . .
Casey:
A teaser?
Jeff:
Yeah, teaser. And then, you guys can finish listening to this in 2 more days. Alright, thanks, everybody.
Casey:
Alright. We’ll see you soon.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Bye.
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casey muratori
the jeff and casey show - season 1 - episode 10
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