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The Technician
No Imperfections Noted
The Jeff and Casey Show
Jeff and Casey Time
Casey Muratori
Seattle, WA
Mr. T's Stock Tip Show
"Thanks cockroach. You're the best!"
Original air date: April 6th, 2008
Topics. Bad Company. Jamba Juice. Cockroaches in the International District. Urination. Drobo colonoscopy. Journey, Foreigner, and Survivor. Mr. T. Minority dwarves.
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Transcript
Jeff:
Hello, welcome to the Jeff & Casey Show.
Casey:
Hello. Hello.
Jeff:
It’s April 6th.
Casey:
That’s right. The 2nd month of the podcast…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Yes. We’ve lasted longer than many small businesses at this point.
Jeff:
That’s true. And it’s like, about 9 o’clock although we wanted to start earlier…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
And yet we were…
Casey:
We had our first tragedy…
Jeff:
Setback… Yes…
Casey:
In the production of the podcast which is for some unknown reason that I don’t actually know, I decided before we did the podcast that I wanted a Jamba Juice.
Jeff:
Well, you just wanted a juice and I said, “I’ll take you to Jamba.”
Casey:
I was gonna go to the Emerald City Smoothie where they don’t use real fruit.
Jeff:
And you would’ve been fine.
Casey:
And I would’ve been fine. But I went to the Jamba Juice and I made the mistake, apparently, of ordering a Strawberry Whirl. Now, what a Strawberry Whirl is, I guess…
Jeff:
You sound like Peter Brady.
Casey:
I guess is a bunch of shit that fucks you up because I drank. It’s like… I got the Power Size which is large. It’s, like, 16 ounces or something.
Jeff:
It had to be bigger than that. That thing was huge.
Casey:
Shortly thereafter, my throat began to swell up much like you hear about the little 3-year olds when they eat peanut butter…
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
Or something…
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
And now, as I think you can probably hear, my voice has somewhat recovered but it’s still off.
Jeff:
It still is weird.
Casey:
It’s odd.
Jeff:
It’s still weird.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
But you’ve been drinking tons of water.
Casey:
I’ve been drinking tons of water. I may have to leave at some point in the podcast to pee.
Jeff:
You’ll pee at least 10 times. It’s not pretty.
Casey:
And I have not, so far, taken any antihistamines. But it may be necessary.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
We’ll see.
Jeff:
We might have to inject you with something…
Casey:
Yeah. So the takeaway from this is pretty much just don’t drink Jamba Juice.
Jeff:
Jamba Juice…
Casey:
Do not go to a Jamba Juice pretty much, period.
Jeff:
Screws you up bad. Yep.
Casey:
I don’t know how fucking hard it is to make a fruit beverage that doesn’t kill you but apparently, that’s not something that they’ve worked out yet. Like, “Oh, yeah, you can have a boost. What boost did you want? Did you want renal failure boost with that? Did you want anaphylactic boost?”
Jeff:
That’s the problem. You chose not to get a free boost.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And one is the heart restarter…
Casey:
Oh, so things you’re gonna need to prevent you from dying after you drink our delicious beverages.
Jeff:
Yeah. Right. The throat reopener…
Casey:
Yeah. How fucking hard is that? Squeeze some juice into a cup and give it to me. They couldn’t get that right. They actually created a medical emergency serving me fruit juice. I’m never going there again. This is ridiculous. I eat strawberries all the time. This is called Strawberry Whirl. It has strawberry, banana, ice, and like, [ ricin ] I guess but that wasn’t listed on the menu. But…
Jeff:
I think you’re just a very…
Casey:
I eat all those fruits. I eat those. I eat strawberries all the fucking time. I’ve never had this problem.
Jeff:
Yeah. Well, maybe you’re just hitting puberty or something ‘cos you sound like you’ve got the voice that’s cracking.
Casey:
Maybe. Ugh.
Jeff:
It’s good action.
Casey:
This is ridiculous.
Jeff:
It’s good action.
Casey:
Yeah. So don’t go to a Jamba Juice. I don’t know what else to say.
Jeff:
Maybe you just have a really, like… A delicate… Like, you’re very delicate and you don’t want to…
Casey:
How am I delicate? Where’s the delicateness?
Jeff:
Yeah, you aren’t very delicate, that’s true.
Casey:
I’m not that delicate and I eat all kinds of crazy shit. I mean… Fuck it, man.
Jeff:
But…
Casey:
I eat anything, you know.
Jeff:
Well, this was a bad mix.
Casey:
Like the other night, I was telling you, I fucking ate at the place where the cockroach ran across the floor.
Jeff:
That’s true.
Casey:
The cockroach was like… That cockroach was so long that I’m at the limit… You know when you put your index finger and your thumb out like calipers to show how long the bug is? I’m right at the end of my useful length specification when I talk about this cockroach.
Jeff:
You IM-ed me in the middle of dinner. I’m sitting there, programming. All of a sudden, I get, “Holy shit.”
Casey:
Yeah, it was 1 AM and I was like, “Well, I’m gonna go to the International District and get some food because I haven’t really tried any of these, like… There’s 4 or 5 restaurants that are open late in the International District on even normal nights like a Tuesday, you know, or whatever.
Jeff:
Okay. Totally.
Casey:
And I went there to get some food. And I walked by a bunch of restaurants and I… You know, you can’t really tell from the outside which ones are gonna be sanitary.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So I go in there and I’m already feeling a little nervous. I’m like, “This place is not super clean.”
Jeff:
Little sketchy?
Casey:
I sit down and I’m in some booths. And across the aisle from the booths are just tables. So it’s tables on one side of the aisle, booths on the other.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Sitting there… There’s no one in the place except the owners who were sitting around chatting. I look down because something kind of catches my eye over near the tables…
Jeff:
Ayayay…
Casey:
I look down and over under the table that’s 2 things up from me is a large thing on the floor.
Jeff:
Uh-huh.
Casey:
Like, it was legitimately large. My eyesight’s not that good, right? If this was like a mosquito or something, I couldn’t see it from this distance. This was big, right. I was like, “Oh, man, this place has a rat problem.” That’s how large this was, okay. But then, it decides to run across to the booths where I am eating, okay. And it scurries across so fast and with a super bug-like motion. And it comes into clearer view and I’m like, “That’s not a rat.”
Jeff:
Bug-like motion.
Casey:
I fucking wish it was a rat but it was not a rat. It was not a rat at all. It was a bug and it was a big one.
Jeff:
You’d take rats over bugs?
Casey:
When they’re this big, I want it to be a rat because it’s a small rat.
Jeff:
But a large bug…
Casey:
I’d rather have a small… I don’t care what it is that’s living in the restaurant. I prefer that it be diminutive for its species, right.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
So if it’s a choice between gigantic fucking African cockroach (which shouldn’t exist in Seattle in the first place) or diminutive rat, I’m going with rat. Okay?
Jeff:
So if we interviewed this little cockroach, he’d be like, “Man, it’s always raining here.” He just doesn’t like the weather.
Casey:
He doesn’t know what’s going on.
Jeff:
Yeah, he’s like, “Oh, this sucks.”
Casey:
He’s like…
Jeff:
“The food’s good, though.”
Casey:
“I was trying to bury into this coconut…”
Jeff:
What have you got there? It looks like you’ve got some [inaudible 6:38] Yeah.
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. “I was trying to bury into this coconut. All of a sudden, I’m in a shipping crate.” That’s his story, right. God damn it.
Jeff:
That’s pretty good, actually.
Casey:
Yeah. Anyway, couldn’t shit right for a week after that place.
Jeff:
Oh, God. Stop it.
Casey:
I don’t know that it had anything to do with the food quality. I’m sure it had something to do with it. But it mostly just psychological, having to think about the fact that a cockroach so large it could eat me was in a restaurant that I was dining it and it was bad. Also, the prices, super bad. It was $5 for this list of items, massively long, right. So I buy one of the dinners…
Jeff:
Wait, so this is like Taco Bell where you can’t order something more than $10? Or you’re saying that it’s expensive.
Casey:
Yes, the only thing…
Jeff:
Is it cheap or expensive?
Casey:
Cheap. The only things you can order for $10 are multiple… You can’t order them with one person. You have to have more than 1 person to order $10+ meals at this establishment. It came with enough fried rice to save Africa, okay. The fried rice quantity that it came with was staggering. I don’t know who could possibly finish the fried rice.
Jeff:
The number of SUV’s you could power with the ethanol from your friend rice..
Casey:
It all becomes clear why there are huge cockroaches because there must be a fucking pile of rice in the back because nobody could fucking finish this.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And I’m probably getting served rice from somebody else’s meal that they didn’t finish, right? Ugh, no, it’s terrible. I don’t know but the Board of Health obviously does not go to the International District at 1 AM.
Jeff:
Maybe you went to the Intergalactic District and they were like…
Casey:
Oh, that’s a sentient raise.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
It’s like, “Oh, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I didn’t shit right for a week. And I’m like, “Thanks, cockroach. You’re the best.”
Jeff:
Stop it. Oh, my God.
Casey:
“You can be my wingman any time.” And he’s like… And the subtitle says, “Don’t touch the fried rice.”
Jeff:
He says, “Fuck that, you could be mine.”
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Alright. Holy cow.
Casey:
I don’t know how I got off on a tangent but Jamba Juice and the Sun Ya restaurant in the International District…
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
Two locations you should not…
Jeff:
2 thumbs down on both…
Casey:
2 thumbs way fucking down, yeah.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
I already have to pee again.
Jeff:
Stop it.
Casey:
Can I say that, as well?
Jeff:
No. No.
Casey:
I have drank so much liquid…
Jeff:
No. You’ve been going in there like a pregnant woman.
Casey:
I have drank so much water. I don’t drink water. I’m not a water drinking. I’m not one of those camel people who fucking chug down 16 ounces of water.
Jeff:
Apparently not.
Casey:
I drink very little. I’m a cat-like drinker. I get my water from my food. That’s how it goes.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
So this is a massive influx for me.
Jeff:
Alright, well just…
Casey:
You don’t understand…
Jeff:
Hold on and then you’ll start talking faster and faster as the podcast…
Casey:
Yeah. This podcast is gonna be 15 minutes long, just in case anyone’s wondering. This is gonna be a condensed podcast because I have to piss like you would not believe.
Jeff:
Just hold on. Hold on there, my friend.
Casey:
I just took another drink.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
It’s helping. My voice is feeling better already.
Jeff:
Yeah, it’s starting to sound better…
Casey:
It doesn’t sound any better to me, internally, but it’s not hurting so much, yeah.
Jeff:
It was very strange.
Casey:
Okay, Jeff. Now as I understand, for the 3rd week in the row, you have brought us a colonoscopy robot news item although this one… On the previous ones where you’re sort of harvesting colonoscopy news from the interweb…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
But this time, you actually have personally had an experience involving a colonoscopy… A robot which operates on your anus.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
And you would like to tell our listeners about it.
Jeff:
Well, yeah. Okay, so this is the… It is something called the Drobo data robot.
Casey:
The Drobo data robot?
Jeff:
Yes. And this…
Casey:
Now, I sent you the link to the Drobo data robot…
Jeff:
Yes, originally.
Casey:
Way back when…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Many months ago, I sent a video to you on the…
Jeff:
And this robot has bent me over since probably January. It’s been bending me over.
Casey:
Wow.
Jeff:
So yeah, so this data robot which is really a RAID set plus some software, somehow it turns it from…
Casey:
It has no moveable pieces.
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
The only thing that can happen is you can move drives in and out of it but never of its own accord.
Jeff:
The only thing is it causes me to scream every couple of days when I get fucked again by the robot, right. So yeah, so… You know, in fact, I’m gonna tell our listeners that we actually talked about this once…
Casey:
We did?
Jeff:
And my story of the data robot was so long that it exceeded the podcast length…
Casey:
Oh, right, [inaudible 11:16]
Jeff:
Solely on how many times I’ve been fucked by the Drobo…
Casey:
And that was… There was no filler in that story.
Jeff:
No, it was just…
Casey:
You literally just went through all of the things. And at the end, you decided that it was too long to include in the podcast.
Jeff:
Yes, it just…
Casey:
’Cos it was 55 minutes.
Jeff:
It was painful for me to listen to because I was like…
Casey:
It was a 55-minute story.
Jeff:
I have been repeatedly raped by the Drobo over the last 4 months. And I don’t need to have… I don’t need to share all that…
Casey:
It’s the Sodo… It’s the Sodo… The Sodo data robot…
Jeff:
Oh, it’s…
Casey:
Yes, I love it.
Jeff:
So you have been telling… So you sent me the first thing about the Drobo.
Casey:
Right. And then, now let’s actually be more [inaudible 11:55] than that. I sent you the first thing.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Later on, you’re like, “I’m gonna get one of these.” And I was like, “I don’t know. I read the forums. They sound kind of iffy.”
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And I did not buy one for my server. I was like, “I don’t trust it.”
Jeff:
Yes, I did buy one.
Casey:
Yes, you did.
Jeff:
I bought 2.
Casey:
You bought 2. You dove in. You dove straight into 2.
Jeff:
And I’m putting a lot of data on this. So I’m in extreme conditioning. I’m actually putting about 9 Terabytes of data on these Drobos.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And that’s at least 3 Drobos worth.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Over time, I’ve learned stuff about the Drobo…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
About me…
Casey:
Intimate things.
Jeff:
About life…
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
And it turns out, I needed way more Drobos than I thought…
Casey:
Than you thought you did.
Jeff:
Yes,
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
But the Drobos…
Casey:
You thought you needed 2. You ended up with 4.
Jeff:
I started out with two. They say that you need this Drobo share to be more than 2 Terabytes. It’s not true…
Casey:
Not true at all, right…
Jeff:
So I have some Drobo shares… Those don’t work. Drobo shares are shit.
Casey:
But wait a minute… Not only… But wait. Not only does it not work but… I mean, not only does it work just fine if you don’t buy the Drobo share but it actually doesn’t work on either unless you do a bunch of special machinations.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So it’s not like you buy the Drobo share and it works. It’s like, “No, no, no, no, son…”
Jeff:
So part of the problem was I was trying not to buy more drives. And I kept shuffling the data in and off the Drobo, back to normal drives, reformat the Drobo copy back and forth. This went on for months…
Casey:
Well, you know why?
Jeff:
And remember, filling a Terabyte of data just from one to the other takes 36 hours. So it takes forever anyway…
Casey:
Right. 3 day time periods…
Jeff:
So every time I fucked up, it was 36 hours out. Every time the Drobo fucked up (which, believe me, was a lot), it was another 36 hours. And then there were things like, “Well, I didn’t have enough drives so I borrowed some from people around the office.” And then when I had enough, when I emptied one of my standalone drives on to the Drobo, I then had to take out the drives that were in there and put in the other drives which it did handle correctly. But yes, I’ve reformatted it probably half a dozen times or more. I moved… I had a total move of 9 Terabytes. I probably moved more like 50 or 60 Terabytes when you count how many times I went back and forth…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
It just took 4 months where these Drobos were copying data…
Casey:
That’s Right. You started December 15th…
Jeff:
Every single day.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Data was going back and forth with the Drobo. And so, yeah, it ended up that I could use the Drobos directly. So I threw the Drobo shares away because kind of awesomely, by the time the Drobo boots which can be up to 15 minutes, the Drobo share has detected no information. So it turns itself off which then the Drobo share… It’s just like all these randomness, crazy things. I have Beta versions of the firmware, everything, everything, everything…
Casey:
Now, the thing that I kinda like about this, actually, now that I think about it (the whole situation)…
Jeff:
Now, all along, you’re just laughing at me.
Casey:
I’m laughing at you because I told you many times at every step of the process… This is basically what happened. At every step of the process, you consulted me and I said, “Don’t do that.” And you did it.
Jeff:
I just wanted some…
Casey:
Whatever it was…
Jeff:
No, I just…
Casey:
You did it anyway…
Jeff:
I didn’t consult. I wanted sympathy and you gave me none.
Casey:
Cold, hard truth.
Jeff:
You just told me what the fuck are you doing over and over and I still kept going.
Casey:
I realize only just now in doing this podcast do I actually realize what happened. Because I remember now the reason why you decided to by the Drobos. It was because you thought that if you just use regular RAID, you’d waste too much space. But it turns out, you’re only saving 500 megabytes per Drobo. This whole time, you could’ve just been using regular RAID enclosures.
Jeff:
Wait, wait, wait. No, originally… That’s like, step…
Casey:
50.
Jeff:
3, of 50 steps.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
No, that was originally… I was writing my own RAID so that I could have one RAID for all 12 Terabytes, right. That went by the wayside long ago because I figured by the time I got around to writing the RAID stuff…
Casey:
But what I’m saying is the only reason you’re considering writing your own was because you didn’t want to waste as much space as dual drive enclosures… ‘Cos you can just buy a dual drive enclosure…
Jeff:
Well, yeah…
Casey:
[ It just ] is RAID. That’s it.
Jeff:
But to do…
Casey:
Problem solved, right…
Jeff:
Well, no. If I’d done…
Casey:
Problem fucking solved.
Jeff:
No, no, no. If I did just completely full on just 2 drive RAID period…
Casey:
Right. Yes.
Jeff:
Like RAID 1, I guess it would be…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
If I did all RAID 1, then I’d be up to 22…
Casey:
20 drives…
Jeff:
22…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
Total drives.
Casey:
And how many drives do you have now?
Jeff:
15.
Casey:
And 4 Drobos which each cost $500 apiece.
Jeff:
No, not cost-wise. I mean, I was just talking about the amount of, like…
Casey:
Fuck it, though…
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
I mean, fuck it. You lost money on this endeavor for…
Jeff:
Wait, wait, wait…
Casey:
And now, your drives are shitting inside of an enclosure…
Jeff:
Let me finish. Wait… No…
Casey:
Which is losing data…
Jeff:
I would’ve had…
Casey:
It’s slow. It’s doesn’t boost…
Jeff:
No, I wasn’t losing data.
Casey:
And the best part is, you watched your first video last night and it skipped for the first 30 seconds. It didn’t even play.
Jeff:
No, it did. Once I waited for things to cue up.
Casey:
Oh, this is the worst. You…
Jeff:
Wait, I want to tell…
Casey:
Have poor drive judgment, end of story.
Jeff:
No. I’m all good. It’s all on there. Don’t buy Drobo…
Casey:
You know, I had a similar experience…
Jeff:
Now, I did wait…
Casey:
Yeah, don’t buy Drobo. That’s for fucking sure.
Jeff:
Don’t buy Drobo. Let me tell you one other thing.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
One funny thing was along the way, Mike [ Sardin ] bought a Drobo for himself because he said, “Well, at least I know what can go wrong.” He felt like that was better than knowing…”
Casey:
He thought, yes…
Jeff:
No, and then… So he ordered one. I actually… Turned out I needed one in a semi-emergency situation. Don’t want to go into that right now but I took his Drobo and then I had to order him a new one. I ordered him a new one. It came and it had the wrong power supply. So he was Drobo before step zero…
Casey:
You thought you’d seen it all…
Jeff:
Yeah, that was…
Casey:
You thought that it was only gonna be problems with the actual function of the drive. Turns out, plugging it in is also something they can fuck up, surprisingly enough.
Jeff:
Well, I’m also trying to get a machine ‘cos I had to… My server at home was XP and I needed a server. It was Windows 2003 or Vista to be able to read the Drobos, the large Drobos. So I had to build a new machine. So I bought one from Apple. And this is not Drobos fault but I can blast through this story really fast. I won’t take 2 hours but it’s ridiculous.
Casey:
But it probably took way more than 2 hours to do…
Jeff:
Oh, no. It took 3 days.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So… To install an OS, that’s all it took.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Okay. So I get a Mac Mini, a nice little… You know, plug it in, it’s a nice good server. It’s fast now. The drives are good. So I grab the Mac Mini. It comes with Leopard. I boot up Leopard and I install the updates. It’s like 500 megabytes of updates. It takes a long time to download.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
I Install them, try to run Bootcamp. And it crashes. You know, like with the blue screen, you know, Mac OS version where they [ write ] and you’re like… You don’t see that one often…
Casey:
Yeah, the bad, bad crash… Yeah, where it’s like… Well, you know what that is? That’s the one… Because since neither of us are [ Core Mac ] when we see a blue screen, it’s not that bad. We can look in and go, “Oh, it’s this [ blitz ] or whatever,” right?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
But that’s something where you’re like, “I don’t know this OS. I just got this screen. That means I am fucked. There’s nothing I’m gonna be able to know how to do to fix this problem.”
Jeff:
That’s what everyone else feels when they see a blue screen.
Casey:
When they see a blue screen… Exactly.
Jeff:
Whereas we’re like, “Oh, look, that’s the serial drive or whatever…”
Casey:
Exactly. But we don’t have the Mac cred to go like, “Oh, it’s just blah…”
Jeff:
So I’m scared. So I go look online. And it turns out, you can’t install updates before you run Bootcamp.
Casey:
God forbid, you don’t do that…
Jeff:
It’s got a bug… Yeah, there’s still a bug…
Casey:
No, don’t do that. Yeah. That’d be bad.
Jeff:
So I’m like, “What do you do?” And people are like, “Reinstall Leopard.” So I’m like, shit… Now, reinstalling Leopard’s not that bad. There’s not a lot of clicks…
Casey:
It came with Leopard.
Jeff:
Right, and I didn’t install anything…
Casey:
Okay. You didn’t have to do it.
Jeff:
So I stick the disk in, boot up… Now, one thing, they don’t cache the CD’s. So it takes 5 hours to read everything on the CD. And you can hear the CD just going… It’s really working…
Casey:
Why don’t they cache the CD?
Jeff:
I have no idea.
Casey:
Their installer doesn’t have that part of the disk drive or something I guess…
Jeff:
Or it doesn’t have it booted up yet. I have no idea.
Casey:
Wow.
Jeff:
In fact, I think I remember NT 3.5 did the same thing [ when they booted up ].
Casey:
Had the same problem?
Jeff:
Yeah. So I reinstall Leopard…
Casey:
But why… You know, why would caching this… Like, it shouldn’t be reading the same part of the CD more than once anyway…
Jeff:
Well, what happened was…
Casey:
Do you mean just the track buffering like it doesn’t issue big enough reads?
Jeff:
Yeah. Well, the problem is that…
Casey:
It needs to issue bigger reads.
Jeff:
It doesn’t read copies over. By then the next part of the disk it needs to read it’s spun past…
Casey:
It got past it? Yeah, okay… So it’s not the same as caching exactly…
Jeff:
Do you remember the whole [ interweaving ] thing in the hard drives?
Casey:
Yeah. Yeah.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
But I’m just saying, like, so it’s that problem. It’s the… You want to read more and then it’s buffering. It’s not buffering. It’s not caching that’s the problem. It’s the buffering.
Jeff:
Yeah. And also, it’s probably reading all of the files independently so it’s seeking back to the Juliet [ header ] and all that.
Casey:
And maybe, if they’re really cool, they didn’t bother to sequence the drives. So maybe it’s just like, “Hey, where’s that file? Oh, it’s off on [inaudible 20:45]” Maybe it’s not that it’s not buffered…
Jeff:
It’s all the other…
Casey:
Maybe it’s buffered just fine but it doesn’t matter ‘cos the file’s off in the middle of nowhere and we’re never gonna get back to that file…
Jeff:
It’s going nowhere… Yeah, totally…
Casey:
’Cos that’s like the Chinese Language pack [ IME ] or something that you didn’t even install.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
So, good. Thanks for reading that.
Jeff:
It’s changing layers on the DVD drive, everything.
Casey:
Yeah. Exactly.
Jeff:
So anyway, it installs after 5 hours. I run Bootcamp. I make a Windows partition. And then I install all the updates because I don’t want to be [inaudible 21:11] and there’s some pretty bad Mac OS problems actually…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And they don’t have the rep for that. There’s some ones that are like, “This is on your network.” Send this packet [inaudible 21:19] pretty bad ones. So anyway…
Casey:
Well, they’re like… They’ve got the fucking UNIX thing in there so someone gets on your machine…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
They can do anything. It’s fully set up for them to remote do everything.
Jeff:
Do anything they want.
Casey:
Yeah. That’s the nice part about Windows NT is it doesn’t work for you…
Jeff:
Its incompetence…
Casey:
So it doesn’t work for them which is good, right?
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
It’s like, you can’t log in your machine and do jack shit. So neither can the hacker. Yeah.
Jeff:
It is the Windows [inaudible 21:44]
Casey:
That’s right. That’s probably what it is, right? That’s probably why I’ve never really had a bad hack sorting problem yet. I’m sure my machine is compromisable or has been compromised or can be compromised. But the bottom line is I can never get that shit to work. My shares don’t ever fucking work. My remote desktop doesn’t work. It can’t… So like, that’s probably what’s happening to the hackers. They’re like, owning my machine and going like, “What the fuck?”
Jeff:
“This is so frustrating.”
Casey:
“There’s nothing on here. It doesn’t work…”
Jeff:
All the hackers are like, “I hate Windows.”
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. Like, “I’m gonna go hack a machine that works remotely.” Yeah.
Jeff:
Oh, my God. Anyway, so I installed Bootcamp. I then install the updates. I reboot to Windows. I’m trying to install Windows 2003 server…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
I didn’t want to do Vista…
Casey:
Now, you didn’t mention this, I don’t think, which is that the reason you have to install Windows 2003 server is because Microsoft…
Jeff:
Drobos require…
Casey:
No, Drobo does not require it…
Jeff:
Oh, yeah…
Casey:
Microsoft didn’t feel the need in anything before Windows 2003 server to actually allow you to create larger than 2 Terabyte volumes…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Because why would you ever want to do that?
Jeff:
Well, I’m not sure where the…
Casey:
Who could possibly have predicted that someday, drives could get to be larger than a Terabyte?
Jeff:
Right, and I think it has to do with they can be if they’re on [ IBE ] but not USB. There’s some weird thing. But yes, I do need… To read my great big Drobos, I do need Windows 2003 or this…
Casey:
2003 Server…
Jeff:
Now, there are some really [ hack store ] ways where you copy some files from a Windows 2003 server…
Casey:
Whoa, stallion…
Jeff:
Over to XP. And it’s like…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
You know, everything else had gone so smoothly to this point…
Casey:
Right…
Jeff:
That I was like…
Casey:
Well, it sounds like a snap.
Jeff:
Right. So the first thing I do is I boot up and it comes up and it has all the operating systems, ABC, DDD, one of them is Windows…
Casey:
Pick one…
Jeff:
Yeah, pick one. Hit the key. No.
Casey:
No.
Jeff:
No, doesn’t support the USB thing. So I’m like, “Ah, fuck…”
Casey:
Now, that’s probably because the BIOS on a Mac is a totally random kind that is not… So they probably didn’t bother to do the USB keyboard password correctly…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So it’s probably only if the app actually has a USB driver in there…
Jeff:
I believe that it’s N 16 that reads the keyboard, if I remember right…
Casey:
Yeah. Okay.
Jeff:
’Cos N 10 was the monitor… Yeah, I think it’s N 16.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Now, I believe that only supports the built in… The normal keyboard chip on all devices.
Casey:
Is that N 16 [ hex ] that you’re referring to?
Jeff:
Yes, I believe so.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
’Cos it… Yes, definitely. So… But when they do read off the USB, I believe that whatever the thing that’s doing that, the DOS program, it actually makes a second, a different call to do that. So I don’t think they hack it into BIOS ever…
Casey:
They never did? Really?
Jeff:
Yeah. My understanding is it’s actually different.
Casey:
Oh, that’s too bad.
Jeff:
Yeah. Anyway, so I can’t do that. So, I’m like, I burn the CD. I burn the wrong one so it has all the files but not the boot stuff. So I burn the ISO, install the ISO. The ISO installs. It gets to a spot and it says, oh, I can’t copy this one file, “Burn/Retry/Ignore.” I’m like, “Ugh…”
Casey:
Bad burn?
Jeff:
Yeah, bad burn. So I hit ignore, boots up into the graphic thing and it says, “Oh, I can’t read this file.”And it says, “You need to press a key to reboot and reinstall off this CD.” So I’m like, “Okay.” Now, when it reboots to run off the CD, the CD says… Now, when there’s no hard drive, it immediately boots off the CD.
Casey:
When there’s no other option…
Jeff:
When there is a hard drive, it says, “Press a key to boot from the CD which I can’t do.”
Casey:
Which you can’t do.
Jeff:
So boots up and the graphics failed, boots up and fails, boots up and fails…
Casey:
The one thing you can’t do…
Jeff:
I’m like, “Ugh…” So I only thing I can do is [inaudible 25:13] partitions. So I boot back up into Leopard. Go back into Bootcamp, host a partition, try to make the partition and guess what happens…
Casey:
“No, sir…”
Jeff:
No. The crash…
Casey:
’Cos you installed the other things…
Jeff:
’Cos I installed the other things…
Casey:
You had the audacity to update your software… Yeah…
Jeff:
Yeah. So I reinstall Leopard again. Dave was laughing at me all day this day. So I reinstall Leopard all over again, install the whole thing again… But once it…
Casey:
That’s awesome. You had to reinstall all of Leopard.
Jeff:
Twice.
Casey:
That’s so cool.
Jeff:
Right. Twice. Yeah.
Casey:
Again?
Jeff:
Right. Twice. So I reinstall the whole thing. I install Bootcamp. This time I do not do the updates ‘cos I’m like, “Who knows, I might have to do this again.” Turned out to be very smart…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Reboot, boot back into Windows. I made a new CD…
Casey:
Now why… Tell me this…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
So you made the mistake of installing the updates twice.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
But at least the 2nd time, you did it slightly differently. So you actually didn’t make the same mistake twice. You made 2 sequential related mistakes. And then the 3rd time, you no longer made the mistake.
Jeff:
I think my mistake in all these circumstances is… I’m keep thinking I’m done.
Casey:
No, we’re not done. Shut it. Quiet down. Quiet down. The 3rd time, you didn’t make the mistake.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
You have learned your lesson.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
How is it that after only 2 times, you learned with Leopard and yet with Drobo, you got fucked like 7 or 8 or 9 times and you still have your data on these things?
Jeff:
Let me tell you…
Casey:
You’re just waiting. You’re, like, sitting around going, “Boy, I really hope that it erases all my drives tomorrow so I can have another fun-filled Drobo experience figuring out where all my DVD’s went.”
Jeff:
Let me tell you one thing.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
After I got all this working, I went and installed the Leopard updates.
Casey:
Oh, my fucking Lord.
Jeff:
I want to believe that this shit works.
Casey:
It doesn’t.
Jeff:
But I want to believe it.
Casey:
Live in the world that exists, not in your head. It doesn’t fucking work.
Jeff:
So back in my head space, I boot up now with the new thing. I install new disks so it burns it, installs, everything’s happy. It’s in the Windows. It’s in 256 color mode. It’s in no… No Ethernet driver…
Casey:
Right. Yeah. [inaudible 27:29]
Jeff:
So I install the Bootcamp… I install the Bootcamp drivers…
Casey:
You think you install the Bootcamp drivers…
Jeff:
And it comes up and it says, “I don’t support Windows 2003 servers.”
Casey:
Of course, not.
Jeff:
I screamed. Dave came running in because he heard me yell so loud.
Casey:
Like a little girl, like high pitched?
Jeff:
I screamed like a little girl.
Casey:
Do it again. Reenact the scream.
Jeff:
No. You can only have that pain once in your life.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
I was like… So Dave’s like, “Dude, dude, it’s okay. Instead of running their installer, go in and right click on the INS and choose install.
Casey:
Right, manual install.
Jeff:
I’m like, “Oh, good idea. Alright.” So I go do that. It installs the Intel chipset drivers and it says, “You need to reboot.”
Casey:
Now, here, wait… Pause just for a second.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I can tell you ahead of time what the flaw in Dave’s thinking and in your thinking of going along with Dave is on this issue. And the flaw is that this is not a Microsoft product or rather a Microsoft-created thing that you’re installing.
Jeff:
Uh-huh. No.
Casey:
This is an Apple bundling of drivers that you’re installing.
Jeff:
From Intel.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
This is Apple-bundled.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Apple doesn’t know a goddamn thing about Windows. They probably don’t even know what the skews are, okay. So if they actually took the time to put in a thing that detects Windows 2003 and says it doesn’t support it, there’s only one reason why and it’s because someone did it and it didn’t fucking work.
Jeff:
Well, that’s what happened.
Casey:
It’s not like Microsoft where they just go, “You know what, disable this on every skew except the one it’s targeted for.” They didn’t do that. They don’t even know how to do that, probably.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
So you are in for bad news, I can tell you right off the bat.
Jeff:
Well, so it reboots. It brings up what we call the [ indie ] bar, the old [ indie ] bar.
Casey:
The [ indie ] bar, right, the indefinite bar which is a progress bar which has no indication of progress.
Jeff:
Yeah. Right. Just…
Casey:
It just moves.
Jeff:
It scrolls along for a while. The screen goes black. Reboots.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
It goes back into the [ indie ] bar, reboots… And I’m like, “Oh, no.” So without thinking, I hit F8 on boot and it brings up the boot menu and it came up.
Casey:
It worked?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Awesome.
Jeff:
It’s like, “Hey, they checked the USB.” So the safe, you know, boot up…
Casey:
Safe mode menu… Yeah.
Jeff:
Go back to another, roll back and all that… That keyboard didn’t work. So the F8 was detected not in that.
Casey:
So awesome.
Jeff:
So I’m like, “I don’t have anything…” And remember, this isn’t like a Mac where I can go get… This is a Mac. I can’t go get a PS2 keyboard and save myself.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
There is no PS2 connector.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
So I’m like, “I have to delete the partition again…
Casey:
Although there probably actually is a PS2 connector on that motherboard somewhere.
Jeff:
Yeah, if you soldered it in. Yes.
Casey:
You can probably go find some leads that they never pulled out and get John Miles with his soldering gun in here and he’d be like, “Oh, yeah, right there,” you know…
Jeff:
That probably would’ve been faster.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So anyway, I boot back into Leopard, host the partition. This time, I can recreate it without it crashing the machine, go to install the updates…
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And then, I do the whole damn install all over again for Vista and then…
Casey:
Now, is machine actually gonna play the movies?
Jeff:
No, it’s just the server.
Casey:
Why did you even bother installing the Bootcamp drivers? Oh, ‘cos you need the network driver?
Jeff:
I need the network driver.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Yeah. And you need… And the USB driver, obviously. That was the other big thing is…
Casey:
But that was obviously working or you wouldn’t have been able to actually use the keyboard in the Windows…
Jeff:
No, that’s actually interesting. You can actually have USB that works for keyboard that doesn’t support [ everything ].
Casey:
Oh, because someone just wrote a little shim driver that barely could do HID only or something.
Jeff:
Apparently the USB, like the connectors for… And this is why I think keyboards work where you can just put a little adaptor on them and go either or…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And you can’t do that for any other devices. I think there are just leads that are like…
Casey:
“This is the PS2 data.”
Jeff:
Right. It’s like, literally that late so…
Casey:
Oh, I see.
Jeff:
Anyway… But I did last night play my 1st movie…
Casey:
And it skipped for 30 seconds?
Jeff:
It did skip at the beginning. I’m like, “No, no, no, no, no.” And all of a sudden, it smoothed itself out and I watched good Planet Earth and saw some animals…
Casey:
Gotcha.
Jeff:
Got some good Jeff videos in. It was good and then I fell asleep after 45 minutes but it was the best 45 minutes of my life. It was awesome. It was like the birth of my 1st child.
Casey:
To be continued. So next week, we’ll tell you about what data Jeff loses when his Drobos shit e bed next time he tries to rip a movie and copy it over there.
Jeff:
Oh, my goodness. Yeah. I’m good for now, though.
Casey:
Awesome.
Jeff:
Yeah, that’s good. That does a world of pain.
Casey:
Well, so that’s…
Jeff:
4 months…
Casey:
So that’s what you’ve been doing for the past 4 months.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
I’ll tell you what I’ve been doing.
Jeff:
Tell me.
Casey:
At least this past week, what I was doing.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
So when I was little, when I was maybe 10 or 11 years old…
Jeff:
A little mini Casey…
Casey:
A tiny Casey…
Casey:
No. I’m like, “Yeah, these are all those songs that I don’t know who fucking sang them,” and I still don’t know even after listening to the, right? I can’t find the song. Where is the song? I looked through every…
Jeff:
Amongst the wheel in sky…
Casey:
Fucking Journey and Foreigner song and I can’t find it. So finally, I kind of remember a little bit of the lyrics. So I just crossed my fingers and I input that in quotes into Google…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And I got one hit. And it was on a page where someone literally said something like, “There’s this Journey or Foreigner song that goes like this… What is it?”
Jeff:
They said that?
Casey:
Yes. It wasn’t exactly that but it was kind of like that, right… And the dude replies, “That’s Survivor, not Journey or Foreigner.”
Jeff:
Other White guy, semi-Canadian…
Casey:
Right? Which makes me… In my head, it makes me realize that my categorization is even worse than I thought. There’s a whole other band in there that I don’t even remember.
Jeff:
Well, dude… Well, okay, wait.
Casey:
I don’t even remember that band but I thought they were Journey or Foreigner or somebody, right?
Jeff:
Okay, wait.
Casey:
I don’t know.
Jeff:
That’s because… Okay.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
This music is not your music. It’s mine.
Casey:
Okay, fine. It’s your music but I know how to play it on the piano.
Jeff:
Yes. Okay, that’s fine.
Casey:
So fuck that.
Jeff:
No, I’m saying like you probably get Styx and Loverboy and all the White guys all mixed in there…
Casey:
Probably. Cutting Crew… Yeah, there’s a whole category of people in there that I don’t know. I’m gonna get to that in a second.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
I’m actually gonna get to that.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
Loverboy, Cutting Crew…
Jeff:
I don’t know who the Cutting Crew is. That’s not my people.
Casey:
What the fuck is his name?
Jeff:
That’s not my people.
Casey:
“Jessie’s Girl”, who sings that song?
Jeff:
That guy was before that?
Casey:
What the hell is his name?
Jeff:
Springfield?
Casey:
Rick Springfield.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
All these… I’m gonna get to them in a second.
Jeff:
But they’re a little early.
Casey:
I’m gonna get to them.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
I’m gonna tie that in.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
The point being my brain goes, “Wow, there was a whole ‘nother band that just got compressed in here that I didn’t even remember.”
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
“It turns out, they’re the ones who did the song.”
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So now, I know what the song is…
Jeff:
Now you’re rocking Survivor…
Casey:
Everything’s fine. I know it’s Survivor. Turns out I like Survivor. I actually like Survivor.
Jeff:
Fucking “Eye of the Tiger”, man…
Casey:
I was like, “This is pretty good.” I’m not so into “Eye of the Tiger” but their later stuff…
Jeff:
Oh, I have eye of the tiger right now.
Casey:
I’m sure you do.
Jeff:
Right now. I’m giving it to you.
Casey:
Awesome. Yeah. That’s more of like… Yeah, I don’t even know what that was.
Jeff:
It was the eye of the tiger.
Casey:
So anyway, that’s kind of what happened with that story, wrapping up in my brain like, “Okay, now I’ve pulled the piece apart…”
Jeff:
You’ve never even seen “Rocky 3”.
Jeff:
Yeah, tiny Casey…
Casey:
I…
Jeff:
Big head Casey…
Casey:
Yeah. I was in 5th grade… No, sorry. I was in 6th grade, 6th or 7th grade, something like that.
Jeff:
Okay. You’re exactly 9 years younger than me so you’re a little bit one gener--…
Casey:
I was born in 1976.
Jeff:
Yes. So you’re exactly…
Casey:
Yeah. Right. I was born in 1976. So I don’t know, this was the mid-80’s to late-80’s. I’m going to junior high school…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And this is, like, 6th or 7th grade, something like that. Our junior high was 6th to 8th.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So there’s this kid I knew in class and he taught me how to play a song on the piano because we were just sitting around in band class with nothing to do. We didn’t have… I think there was band as well or something like that. But I wasn’t in the band.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
But we had band class, like music class or something like this, right…
Jeff:
Spit in the tubas…
Casey:
I don’t know what the heck that was. No, we had nothing like that. We just had little keyboards or something. We weren’t playing much instruments. It was like just a bad music class.
Jeff:
It would be awesome if your marching band was all like a X7’s. It’s like…
Casey:
Yeah, well that’s… Yeah, that’s sort of… It wasn’t… Yeah, exactly. That’s what the class was, though, right, sort of like that. Yeah. Well, earlier than this, in the previous school, it was even worse ‘cos there’s like this lady who taught us how to play shit on the recorder or sing notes and stuff. It was the worst fucking music…
Jeff:
What’s the deal with recorders?
Casey:
I don’t know.
Jeff:
We had recorders, too.
Casey:
Every school has them.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
They’re retarded. I don’t know…
Jeff:
They’re the worst.
Casey:
Oh, man. So anyway, he taught me how to play this song. And I still remember this song to this day. I don’t know if I can play it on the piano ‘cos I’ve kind of forgotten that. I can try to figure it out again. But I can play this song and I wanted to know… I wanted to go get a copy of the song again ’cos I was thinking about it. I was like, “Oh, I know that song. I want to hear that song again.”
Jeff:
Memories. Yeah.
Casey:
I want to hear that song. I want to remember the song.
Jeff:
What was the song?
Casey:
I don’t know. That’s the problem.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Now, in my head… ‘Cos I was young at the time, you know, when I was growing up…
Jeff:
Impressionable.
Casey:
Mid 80’s, I’m just not that old.
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
In my head, I do not distinguish between Journey, the band, and Foreigner, the band.
Jeff:
Blasphemy.
Casey:
Whatever, alright. Look, I don’t know the difference.
Jeff:
Dude, blasphemy.
Casey:
All I’m saying to you…
Jeff:
Journey rules. Foreigner doesn’t.
Casey:
Fine, whatever. I’m not making a value judgment about the bands. I’m simply saying that I do not know if a particular song is by Journey or by Foreigner but I can tell you usually that it was by one of them.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So if you played me a song, I’d be like, “That’s Journey/Foreigner.” I can say that. But I can’t, with certitude, say which one it was.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
’Cos I don’t know. Okay?
Jeff:
That sounds like it was played by Canadian White people.
Casey:
Whatever. Is that who they are? Are they Canadians? Is that… I don’t know.
Jeff:
Journey… I don’t know. They smell like bacon.
Casey:
So what I remember about this song is that it’s a Journey/Foreigner-ish song. That’s what I remember.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So I’m like, “Well, I’ll go and look online at music buying sites which often have little “play a clip of the song” because I’ll recognize it…
Jeff:
Right. This is always one of the things that searching for is really sucky…
Casey:
Yeah. It’s just hard because they don’t have in-music search anymore, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So I start playing Journey and Foreigner songs and I’m going through all the songs.
Jeff:
And you’re liking Journey and you’re hating Foreigner?
Casey:
I haven’t even seen “Rocky 1”.
Jeff:
Okay. Well, “Rocky 3” is the “Eye of the Tiger” movie and it was awesome.
Casey:
But “Eye of the Tiger” is from “Rocky 1”, right?
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
Wow. So this is how much I know…
Jeff:
3, baby…
Casey:
Okay, so there was no “Eye of the Tiger” in… Wow, okay.
Jeff:
So third one is the… During the training montage…
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
When Rocky gets his shit together.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
And Apollo trains him. And there’s like the most awkward White guy/Black guy hug on the beach. It’s priceless.
Casey:
Wait, so “enemies becomes friends” kind of thing?
Jeff:
Yes, exactly. Rocky 1.
Casey:
’Cos he fought Apollo Creed, right?
Jeff:
Right, Rocky 1 fought Apollo Creed, loses. Rocky 2 fights Apollo Creed, wins.
Casey:
Wins.
Jeff:
Right. Rocky 3 fights… This is when Mr. T, the baddest man on the planet… He was actually scary in this movie.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Whereas now, he’s like, “Oh, it’s T. He’s curing people from comas.”
Casey:
Yeah, and he has like a show, right?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
He has like a talk show, the Mr. T Show or something like that…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
He did someone back from a coma.
Jeff:
Yeah, he did.
Casey:
I remember this. You sent me this link.
Jeff:
Yeah, we were talking about this. Yeah, I send you all links and it was in there.
Casey:
So what exactly happened there?
Jeff:
I think… Well, T went in and spoke with the poor little guy…
Casey:
No, what happened? The dude, like… There’s a reason… Oh, I know what it was. I read the link you sent me. I just am trying to remember. I don’t know what it was. Some kid was in a coma…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And he wasn’t responding. He’s not responding to treatment.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Nothing was… He was not saying anything.
Jeff:
He wasn’t waking up.
Casey:
He wasn’t waking up. He wasn’t moving. He wasn’t [inaudible 39:18] But there was a Mr. T toy or merchandise…
Jeff:
Right, that he kind of responded to…
Casey:
In his room. And when they brought the… I have this vision in my head of a Mr. T doll. They’re jiggling the Mr. T doll chain in his face and he was like… You know, he’s making some kind of grunty coma noises, right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So they were like, Mr. T was coming to town…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Okay. I don’t imagine it’s very hard to get a hold of these days when he comes to town…
Jeff:
No. T is available for $150 an hour…
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. Probably not very expensive.
Jeff:
Way less than $4,500.
Casey:
Probably. Yeah, exactly. He is not a Spitzer level expense.
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
They call his publicist or whoever, you know, him… They call…
Jeff:
His sister. They called his sister.
Casey:
They called him using a high voice on the phone. “Oh, I think he’s available. Hold on a second. Let me check his bookings.” “So it’s in my notepad… My date planner…” So they call him up. They’re like, “Can you stop by and see kid in a coma?” And he’s like, “Yeah, what time? Let me know.”
Jeff:
Right. Kid in a coma…
Casey:
He comes to see him.
Jeff:
Okay, I see.
Casey:
He goes in and he said, “I went into the room. I prayed for him…”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
In the room, I guess.
Jeff:
Uh-huh…
Casey:
Left. And then as he’s walking down the hall, the kid miraculously recovers.
Jeff:
He wakes up.
Casey:
He just wakes up.
Jeff:
He wakes the fuck up.
Casey:
And he screams Mr. T’s name. And Mr. T turns around. It’s like a movie. He’s walking away. The kid is not saved. He thinks he has failed.
Jeff:
And he turns around.
Casey:
But he has not failed.
Jeff:
No, he is T, goddamn it.
Casey:
He has not failed. He is Mr. T. Pity the coma that’s gonna keep a kid under when the T is here.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
And I guess he goes back in the room and it’s like, “Oh, my God. Mr. T saved the boy.”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Best story ever.
Casey:
Now, I’m wondering… Yeah, best story ever. Yeah. The Mr. T story… How they happen… It’s like the Babe Ruth story, right? “Hit a home run for me. Say a prayer for me, Babe. Get me out of this coma,” you know…
Jeff:
I bet… So now, like, you know, he’s brought somebody back, he’s gonna be like… All of the worst case scenarios are calling T up like you know, when you have a miracle worker and they get overwhelmed by all the people that want their miracles. Poor T, he’s gonna be like…
Casey:
Oddly enough, that didn’t happen. Like, Mr. T is enough of a D list celebrity at this point…
Jeff:
He’s still waiting by the phone…
Casey:
He can save a fucking person’s life. He can bring someone out of a coma and he still gets no booking engagements. That is just fucking cruel is what that is.
Jeff:
So he’s picking up his phone just to see if it’s working.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
And then putting it down…
Casey:
I mean, you’ve got people…
Jeff:
He’s like…
Casey:
You’ve got celebrities like the fucking people on, like, The View. People whose names I don’t even know who they are, alright… They’re getting book signings. People watch them during the day…
Jeff:
T is bringing back people…
Casey:
Here’s a huge black man who had a successful TV show and has a massive set of chains around his neck…
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
Cannot get a booking after he brings a kid out of a coma.
Jeff:
What does he have to do?
Casey:
What is wrong with the fucking world at that point?
Jeff:
Right, exactly.
Casey:
Right? I have no idea.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So yeah, so he brings him back. So what you’re saying is you wanted to know when you were thinking about this?
Casey:
Yeah. I want to know what his prayer sounded like.
Jeff:
I think…
Casey:
’Cos when Mr. T prays, I’m imagining it’s a lot like when Mr. T talks. I mean that… ‘Cos most people talk to God in their human voice, right? At least that’s what movies would have you believe.
Jeff:
So he refers to himself in the 3rd person…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
It’s vaguely threatening…
Casey:
Probably, yeah. Yeah, exactly. It’s probably… I don’t know. I can’t do a Mr. T impression but I know it probably sound something like that. It would’ve been like…
Jeff:
“God, I want to hear no jibberjabber. I want this kid back.”
Casey:
Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
“Now.”
Casey:
“Well, you be a fool. This kid been in a coma for weeks. I know you can bring him back. I know you can bring him back, God.” You know, I don’t know. I don’t know what it is. But I’m sure it was awesome. And if they… This is the thing. If they made this movie… If they bought the rights to this story and he could use the money, I’m sure…
Jeff:
The voice over…
Casey:
Yeah. He’s like… Mr. T in my mind anyway… I mean, I like Mr. T. I haven’t seen him a whole lot but I like Mr. T. I think of him fondly, sort of, which I think most people do probably, right? Like you were saying, most people don’t think of him as, like, big imposing fighter.
Jeff:
No.
Casey:
They think of him as like, “Oh, Mr. T, yeah, that’s cool. I like Mr. T,” or whatever…
Jeff:
“He’s my uncle T.”
Casey:
In my mind, Mr. T is like 300 pounds and probably, like, $250,000 from being Gary Coleman, right? Like that it what it is in my mind. Like, he may be in financial trouble at some point. I don’t know. Maybe he’s really good with money and that’s why you don’t hear about that, right, unlike Gary Coleman or MC Hammer or the other people who’re, like, you know, begging for change now or whatever, right?
Jeff:
“I use double-entry accounting, fool.”
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, maybe that’s right. Yeah.
Jeff:
“My books are in balance.”
Casey:
Yeah, exactly. “I saw [inaudible 44:03] in the 170. I pitied the fool who stayed in. I pitied the fool.”
Jeff:
The T is…
Casey:
[ Dick Crane ] was a fool…
Jeff:
’Cos he’s secretly a financial genius.
Casey:
That would be awesome.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Okay, Mr. T’s Stock Tips show…
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Instant hit.
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
Instant fucking hit.
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
No question.
Jeff:
It’s like Jim Kramer’s “Mad Money”…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
It’d be like, “Mr. T’s Angry Stock Tips”.
Casey:
Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
“Management is not [inaudible 44:35]”
Casey:
“My prediction for futures is pain.”
Jeff:
“Once again, I’ve invested heavily in gold.”
Casey:
Yeah, [inaudible 44:43] exactly. “I bought this chain in 1983 for $5,000.”
Jeff:
That’s true. He’s…
Casey:
“Today, it’s worth $300,057.”
Jeff:
His chains are going up.
Casey:
Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
Every day.
Casey:
Yeah. Oh, man. Mr. T financial…
Jeff:
Did you hear that Gary Coleman got married just recently?
Casey:
No.
Jeff:
He did, like 2 weeks ago.
Casey:
This sounds like a joke. This sounds like, you know, like a Peewee Herman joke or something…
Jeff:
No, Gary Coleman got married a couple weeks ago…
Casey:
To whom?
Jeff:
To this Mormon girl from Utah.
Casey:
Okay. Why did you feel the need to say those 2 things together? Oh, because of Mitt Romney… So there is a Mormon outside of Utah now…
Jeff:
Yeah. Oh, yeah, I see what you’re saying.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
There are a few Mormons outside Utah.
Casey:
Okay. To somebody… The Mormon from Utah… What Mormon…
Jeff:
She’s like, 22 and he’s like, 40.
Casey:
Is she famous or she’s just some Mormon?
Jeff:
No, just…
Casey:
She’s just really into Gary Coleman?
Jeff:
Just saw the inner light that’s in Gary.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
And she says he gets angry sometimes and she’s frightened at his rage.
Casey:
What do you mean by that?
Jeff:
I don’t know.
Casey:
Who the fuck would be frightened of Gary Coleman?
Jeff:
I don’t know.
Casey:
I don’t care how small you are. That’s hard to do.
Jeff:
Now, he’s not a dwarf, right? He’s just small.
Casey:
I don’t know but he’s really tiny. I mean, he’s certainly not physically imposing.
Jeff:
Well, no, but I just like… Yes. Well, he has some kidney thing but I’m just like… He’s not technically a dwarf.
Casey:
Well, he looks like a normally-proportioned body, just short.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
So I don’t know. Stunted growth is what it looks like, really. It doesn’t look like he has any kind of…
Jeff:
You know what, I grew up in a small town in Utah, in Ogden, Utah.
Casey:
Yeah, you did. That’s right.
Jeff:
And I remember the first time we went to Salt Lake…
Casey:
You saw Gary Coleman?
Jeff:
No. But I did see a dwarf for the first time and he was Black.
Casey:
What?
Jeff:
So the first dwarf I ever say actually happened to be a double minority.
Casey:
A double minority?
Jeff:
Yes. And I remember thinking even in my 5th grade… “I wonder if that means…”
Casey:
“I’ve grown up too fast…”
Jeff:
I’ve seen too much.
Casey:
I’ve seen a double minority.
Jeff:
Well, I wondered… I remember wondering…
Casey:
How many minorities can you get in a single person? There’s a limit. It’s not infinite because you can’t both be, like, a minority Black person and a minority Asian because you’re dominantly one or the other and that’s your minority, right?
Jeff:
Maybe you could be gay and…
Casey:
Okay, you could be gay, dwarf, Black…
Jeff:
Transgender…
Casey:
Mentally handicapped? Is that… That’s not really a minority, right?
Jeff:
That’s not a minority.
Casey:
It’s just a disability.
Jeff:
Yes. It’s a disability. That’s the most handicapable little Black dwarf I’ve ever seen.
Casey:
Gay Black dwarf…
Jeff:
Yeah. But no, I remember as a 5th grader thinking to myself, “I wonder if that means every nationality has dwarves, too. Like, there’s Chinese dwarves and all that.” And since then I…
Casey:
You don’t mean nationality. You mean heritage…
Jeff:
Heritage, yes. Not nationality.
Casey:
Because genetically speaking, it certainly could be plausible that there are some genealogical lines which are somehow immune to dwarfism or other things like this, right?
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
I don’t know if that actually ever happened but since it is… Since your heritage is your genetics, it could happen.
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
We know obviously there’s White dwarves.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Our background, Europeans, we’ve got plenty of dwarves.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Right? You’ve seen a Black dwarf.
Jeff:
I’ve seen a Black dwarf.
Casey:
I’ve never seen an Asian dwarf.
Jeff:
So that might be true.
Casey:
So that could be.
Jeff:
Yeah, I don’t know. I saw…
Casey:
There’s a whole lot of Asian lineages. Maybe one of them is immune to dwarfism.
Jeff:
Samoan dwarfs…
Casey:
Right, Samoan dwarfs. That’s gonna be weird.
Jeff:
Yeah. Moved my piano…
Casey:
He’s still a dwarf.
Jeff:
He’s bigger than me.
Casey:
It’s doesn’t matter. Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
No. He’s bigger than me.
Casey:
A Samoan dwarf is 8 feet tall and only 500 pounds.
Jeff:
He played “It’s a Small World” on the piano while he carried it up the stairs.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
I don’t know. But anyway, I totally lost track of what we were talking about. T…
Casey:
Well, you know why. It’s because T came along. We were talking about music and shit…
Jeff:
Oh, yes.
Casey:
And Mr. T came along because of “Eye of the Tiger”.
Jeff:
“Eye of the Tiger”.
Casey:
That happened.
Jeff:
[inaudible 48:44]
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
That’s where the prediction of pain came from. All this came from that.
Casey:
So, I was gonna tie that back together, though.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
But the Mr. T thing seemed more interesting to me so I just went there.
Jeff:
I will talk about T…
Casey:
The way… Yeah, I mean, I don’t know… I’ve never even seen “The A-Team”.
Jeff:
Never?
Casey:
It wasn’t a thing that was really on when I was little. I mean, I guess…
Jeff:
He doesn’t…
Casey:
I mean, it wasn’t on when I was old enough. I was kinda little at the time.
Jeff:
He doesn’t like to fly, B.A. Baracus…
Casey:
Don’t fly?
Jeff:
Don’t fly.
Casey:
He doesn’t fly?
Jeff:
They have to trick him. He falls for it every week.
Casey:
Every week, he falls for it?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Boy, I between that gag never got old, huh?
Jeff:
And what’s the crazy man’s name? Boy, I can’t believe I can’t remember.
Casey:
Well, I can’t help you.
Jeff:
There was Faceman. There was…
Casey:
His name was Faceman?
Jeff:
Well, yes, they called him just Face. And he was the pretty guy that would trick the women to do whatever. There was B.A. Baracus who could build everything. And then there was the guy that could fly things…
Casey:
Build every… Oh, Mr. T could build shit?
Jeff:
Yeah, could build all kinds of stuff.
Casey:
Okay. So he’s like a MacGyver kind of guy?
Jeff:
They always had the little training montage of where they build stuff and all this.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
To the A-Team music.
Casey:
Okay. Which was what?
Jeff:
And there was the Colonel who directed them. And then there was the guy who was crazy who I cannot remember his name right now and it’s killing me.
Casey:
Sorry, I can’t help you.
Jeff:
Anyway, they’d always tricked him and then they’d fly somewhere. And he always fell for it.
Casey:
What a great ending.
Jeff:
Yeah, it was.
Casey:
How do you trick someone… Like, either you’re getting on a plane or a helicopter or you’re not. It’s not really tricking.
Jeff:
Well, no. They’d be like, “B.A., drive us to this address.” And he’s like, “[ This goes back to ] the airport.” And then when he stopped, they’d inject him with something and knock him out.
Casey:
Are you serious?
Jeff:
Yeah, they knocked him out. I believe it was…
Casey:
They fucking drugged… They basically kidnapped a person every episode?
Jeff:
Yeah. He was probably addicted to whatever they were shooting him up. By the end of the week, if they haven’t solved the person’s problem, B.A.’s getting really crabby. He’s like, “I don’t know what’s going on. I’m sweating a lot. I’m getting really angry and intense.” They’re like, “Oh, man. We better inject him up. Get the horse ready.”
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
Okay. So music, back to music.
Casey:
Okay, so what I was gonna say about that was that occasionally (and not so much anymore but occasionally) I go to Pandora.com…
Jeff:
What’s that?
Casey:
It’s a music streaming site. And basically, what they do is they have people supposedly musically-knowledgeable…
Jeff:
People they pay or their customers?
Casey:
No. People they pay. They’re a company.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Listens to music and categorizes it based on a set of tags that they have determined which are about musical qualities such as is it a melodic song or an amelodic song.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Does it have a strong bass line?
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Does it have vocal harmony?
Jeff:
How much Canadian percentage…
Casey:
[inaudible 51:45] at all? Yeah, how many Canadians were in the band, right? How many of the Canadians are Celine Dion? You know, things like this, important tags.
Jeff:
Right. Are there dwarves in the band?
Casey:
Yeah. So they have a bunch of tags. And ostensibly, they listen to these songs and they tag them appropriately. And then what happens is you can seed your listening experience with something like a song or a band or multiple songs, right…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And it will use the tags from those songs to go find other songs that have similar tags.
Jeff:
Okay, cool
Casey:
So it’s basically the same as a collaborative filtering engine. But instead of using what other users liked or played or something…
Jeff:
I see…
Casey:
It just uses what they tagged the things to be.
Jeff:
They’re experts.
Casey:
Experts.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Now, if they’re such experts, I do question why, like, the tags don’t include stuff like what the chord progression was…
Jeff:
Right, tempo…
Casey:
Or… Yeah, I mean, they don’t have a lot of tags that seem pretty… And I’m guessing it’s because they don’t want to actually have to deal with that categorization, right?
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
They’d have to sit down and go like, “What’s the chord progression of this song,” right?
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
You know, “What scales are involved in the melodies of this song? What’s the density per thing or whatever,” right? They don’t seem to tag anything that would actually require serious analysis of the song.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Anyway… So this… What I did after I found out the Survivor thing, I was like, “I want to hear something…” So I put Survivor into Pandora to hear some of the Survivor stuff…
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
After [inaudible 53:18] Survivor song… And it starts playing Survivor, right, and other things…
Jeff:
And you’re tapping your toe. You like a good Survivor.
Casey:
And I’d like to point out, it played Survivor…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Then Journey.
Jeff:
No. Survivor, Journey…
Casey:
Then Foreigner…
Jeff:
NO!
Casey:
Then REO Speedwagon…
Jeff:
Okay, this is just White… They tagged all the…
Casey:
Rick Springfield…
Jeff:
Ugh, you’re killing me.
Casey:
This is what it played. A panel of experts says that Foreigner, Journey…
Jeff:
Not me. Okay, apparently, these were…
Casey:
And Survivor are similar bands… Loverboy… Firehouse, which is like 10 years later, so I don’t know where the hell that came in.
Jeff:
Yeah, I don’t know what’s going on. These bands are, like, over a 20-year spread.
Casey:
I’m just telling you what a panel of music expert says. And they said that Journey, Foreigner, and Survivor are the same fucking band. So do I. I rest my case.
Jeff:
I think these experts are all listening to hip-hop and can’t get their 80’s on. They need Alicia and I…
Casey:
Well, don’t worry about it because…
Jeff:
I can play you all those songs on my iPod and we will determine whether they’re the same… Oh…
Casey:
Don’t worry about it because this company’s going to go under rapidly.
Jeff:
How come?
Casey:
Because… So here’s the deal, right, what this engine does is you… I mean, you’re gonna go to the site and you’re gonna put some music that you think is good, right?
Jeff:
Yeah, Journey.
Casey:
Whatever, yeah. You go there and you think Journey’s good so you put in Journey or whatever, right?
Jeff:
And I get some Foreigner and I’m pissed.
Casey:
Yeah, you get some Foreigner and get pissed. So basically, what’s happening is you’re [inaudible 54:50] with music that you think is good and it’s telling you what it thinks is like the music that you think is good.
Jeff:
So you’re slowly getting insulted.
Casey:
So basically, it’s only a matter of time before fucking some Michael Bolton song…
Jeff:
Oh, dude…
Casey:
Or something that you think is really bad and it tells you like, “No, you like that shit, bitch. You like this song. You like it. Don’t try to tell me you don’t because a panel of experts says that you do.” You know… And that’s not gonna fly. That’s gonna happen to people a few times and they’re gonna fucking quit that service. Yeah, they’re never gonna get anywhere with that. No. Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.
Jeff:
Man. That hurts.
Casey:
Sorry, dude panel of experts…
Jeff:
No, I challenge this panel of experts to an 80’s music-off. What was Foreigner? “Hit Me With Your Best Shot”? Was that Foreigner?
Casey:
What? “Hit Me With Your Best Shot”? That’s not even a male singer…
Jeff:
Wait, wait…
Casey:
“Hit Me With Your Best Shot” was like, Pat Benatar or something…
Jeff:
Yeah, you’re right. That’s Pat Benatar.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
I’m thinking… What am I thinking of? What was…
Casey:
I don’t know what you’re thinking of. You’re thinking of Journey is probably what you’re thinking of, you can’t fucking tell them apart.
Jeff:
No, I’m trying to remember what there was. Oh, “Feels Like the First Time”, that was that song.
Casey:
I don’t know.
Jeff:
By Foreigner…
Casey:
I don’t know. Could have been Journey for all I know…
Jeff:
“She’s as cold as ice…”
Casey:
That’s Foreigner.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
Yes, that’s Foreigner. There you go.
Jeff:
I think it’s all on Foreigner 4 [inaudible 56:11]
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
That was my generation’s… I remember that in 10th grade or something…
Casey:
“She’s willing to sacrifice our love…”
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
She’s willing to sacrifice it…
Jeff:
For the higher purpose.
Casey:
They didn’t actually say what she was willing to sacrifice it for.
Jeff:
Oh, didn’t they?
Casey:
That was just an illustration of the coldness…
Jeff:
I see, a strawberry smoothie?
Casey:
Of the ice coldness of her, whoever that is, that she’s willing to sacrifice her love (arbitrarily, I guess, without really any thought to the matter).
Jeff:
What was the ballad on that album? There was the slow ballad… You know, all the rock stars had that one ballad per album, at least, ‘cos that was like the close the deal on road…
Casey:
Right, yeah.
Jeff:
That was the…
Casey:
REO Speedwagon is really the people I think of when I think of those power ballads because I think of them as only doing power ballads. I don’t remember an REO Speedwagon song that was fast, right?
Jeff:
Well, I think that was their innovation whereas all the other bands were like hard and they had the one, they just said, “Screw that…”
Casey:
Oh, that’s right, “Well, get the groupies if we have the power ballads.” They were like, “Why don’t we just do all power ballads? Then the audience will be filled with women and we won’t have to be worried about, you know, making sure there’s a power ballad in the set,” because that’s all the set was in the first place.
Jeff:
Yeah, totally. That’s perfect.
Casey:
That could be. Yeah, that could well be. Alright.
Jeff:
That’s awesome. That’s awesome.
Casey:
So what else… We must be way over… But now… I don’t know how we’re gonna end this podcast now.
Jeff:
Keep it going.
Casey:
We’ve got so much stuff.
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
We are literally at the point where we are going to run out of room in the WAV file that is being recorded.
Jeff:
Oh, my goodness.
Casey:
That is where we’re at. We have 12 minutes left.
Jeff:
Oh, my goodness.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
Well, it’s been, like, 10 minutes of talking…
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So that means it’s at least 5 minutes past the time when you have to use the stupid bathroom again.
Casey:
Yeah. Yeah, I haven’t… I ran out of water so I don’t have to pee anymore.
Jeff:
Right. We do have some time.
Casey:
That’s true.
Jeff:
Alright. So let’s see. What was… Did you want to talk about your… You had a breakthrough game. You were excited…
Casey:
I do have a breakthrough game.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
I do have a breakthrough game.
Jeff:
Yes, okay.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
Wait, do you want to do a break first?
Casey:
Yeah, let me pee…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And then I’ll give you the breakthrough game.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Last week, we talked about the fact that I went back to my imaginary job at EA, right?
Jeff:
Yeah, we did.
Casey:
Okay. So this week… I didn’t know if I was gonna have to cover that, as well, ‘cos that’s kind of old news but I talked about that. So this week was kind of my first real week back. And I think I really outdid myself. So I’ll be…
Jeff:
Knocked one out the park?
Casey:
Yeah. I’ll be back.
Jeff:
Knocked one out of the store?
Casey:
Yeah. Knocked one out of the Burger King.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Alright.
Jeff:
Alright, you’re back, finally.
Casey:
Yes.
Jeff:
That’s like, what, the 3rd break in one 1-hour show…
Casey:
There would’ve been more pee breaks if you hadn’t been such a stickler about finishing the whole Drobo story.
Jeff:
God, you’re like a pregnant woman on a car trip.
Casey:
Dude, I almost died from drinking a Jamba Juice and you want to get pedantic about how many times I’ve gone to the lavatory? Thank you for your concern.
Jeff:
Oh, man. I’m gonna give you a diuretic so you get to the next half an hour…
Casey:
I’m never… Yeah, fucking Jamba Juice. Don’t buy a Drobo. Don’t eat at the Sun Ya restaurant. And do not, under any circumstances, by a Jamba Juice from Jamba Juice and drink it.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Pour it on your fucking lawn or whatever the hell else it’s good for but do not drink it.
Jeff:
It’s what plants crave.
Casey:
Sorry.
Jeff:
But we do always want to buy an EA game.
Casey:
We do always want to buy an EA game. And recently…
Jeff:
Really imaginarily buying a game, if you want to get technically.
Casey:
Yes, exactly. Now, one of the things that we try to do in my imaginary job at EA, right, is we try to think of new ways to increase the cost of our product to the consumer without actually having to increase the price of the game, right?
Jeff:
I see. Okay.
Casey:
So we don’t want to tell someone… What we’d like to be able to say is that, you know, whatever the latest incarnation of Madden, which is slightly different from the last incarnation of Madden, is now instead of $60, $100. That’s what we’d like to be able to say because then…
Jeff:
It’s hard to get away with that.
Casey:
Because then, we get $40 and you lose $40. And that’s always a plus for us, right?
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
But that doesn’t always work because sometimes consumers will be in the store, they’ll look at the thing that’s $100, go, “I can’t afford that,” right?
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So they won’t buy it.
Jeff:
Unacceptable.
Casey:
So what we need to do, right, or what I do for a living is figure out how do we get from $60 to $100 while still staying at $60. Do you follow me?
Jeff:
I see. Okay. Yep, I’m following you.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
That’s where Burger King comes in among others.
Casey:
That’s one way that we do it is we get Burger King in there.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
Right? And that’s great.
Jeff:
Yep.
Casey:
You know?
Jeff:
Great partner.
Casey:
Because at that point, if Burger King… We make a game that’s not very good, right? That’s usually the case. So it’s only gonna sell, like, 200,000-300,000 copies after we’re don’t shooting it in every territory across the globe, airdropping them in to fucking, like, you know, Inuits in Antarctica or something, right? Maybe 300,000 units or something for most of our games. Maybe less, right?
Jeff:
They knew it’s always [ lose their ] Wii…
Casey:
300,000 units, right, maybe we’re making 10 to 15 bucks a copy or something after all is said and done or something, right?
Jeff:
[ It’s not enough. ]
Casey:
You know, we’re up to 5 million Dollars to 6 million Dollars, that title makes back or something, right?
Jeff:
It’s not gonna do it.
Casey:
If Burger King was gonna, “We’ll pay you 5 million Dollars for marketing stuff,” we’ll be like, “Fuck, yeah, you will.”
Jeff:
Hook me up.
Casey:
That doubles right there… Burger King… Think of it this way. This is what I want you to think of when you go into a store. Burger King is paying half the cost of your game and you are paying half the cost of your game, okay? You think you’re paying the whole cost but that $60, Burger King fucking federally fund-matched your $60 of gaming.
Jeff:
Alright, I understand.
Casey:
So don’t complain to me…
Jeff:
About…
Casey:
About the King…
Jeff:
The King…
Casey:
Dancing around in your fight night…
Jeff:
You’re lucky we don’t make you play as the King all the time…
Casey:
Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
You’re about this far away from having only King-related playable characters, you know.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
I guess… Here’s the other way to think of it. The other way to think of it is you’re lucky McDonald’s didn’t have this idea because you’d be fucking Grimace and the purple thing… Or is that Grimace? The Hamburglar…
Jeff:
Yeah, Hamburglar…
Casey:
That’s what you’d be playing as.
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
Not at least something that looks vaguely human, right?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Yeah. Anyway, don’t get me started though…
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
On the fucking players on the thing…
Jeff:
Seems like that upset you now. We… Alright…
Casey:
Yeah… No. Well, they don’t understand who pays for their games, basically, is what it boils down to. Anyway…
Jeff:
It’s somewhat offensive to you.
Casey:
It’s somewhat offensive.
Jeff:
Yes.
Casey:
A lot offensive, actually. Anyway, point being we released a game recently… I’m sorry, not released a game. There’s an upcoming game.
Jeff:
Announced.
Casey:
We announced the fact that Battlefield Bad Company…
Jeff:
Battlefield Bad Company…
Casey:
Which is going in the Battlefield series…
Jeff:
Bad Company, like another 80’s rock… You know, got a little…
Casey:
No, Bad Company as in what we are at Electronic Arts.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So we released a game… Oh, sorry. We made the announcement about Bad Company…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And this is in the Battlefield series which is a series from Digital Illusions which we bought…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
With money from Burger King and so on…
Jeff:
Burger King funds our acquisitions?
Casey:
Yeah, exactly.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Actually, this is an interesting… As an aside…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
You know, I harp on Burger King…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Right? But that’s only because they’re the most visible product placement, right?
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
I mean, in Cingular and so on, right? I don’t know if you played Need for Speed Underground 2 but that was great, right, because you couldn’t do anything in that game without using a Cingular branded cellphone. That is what I’m talking about.
Jeff:
That’s the sweet action.
Casey:
Yeah. In fact, I don’t know what the problem is because sometimes, I go down to see how development is going, right, and I make like the most obvious request that I know are technologically possible and they don’t seem to get into the game.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
I don’t know what goes on. I’ll walk by some…
Jeff:
Developers can be annoying.
Casey:
They suck. It’s like I walk by a modeler’s desk and I’m like, “Tell me how there’s 2 logos on this car. Have you ever fucking gone to Daytona?”
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
There are logos over every square inch of the car including the fucking windshield and you can’t put something right on the bumper where the player is… What is their problem? Don’t they know who pays their salaries? It’s ridiculous.
Jeff:
And then they complain that it’s not a NASCAR game, that it’s like…
Casey:
Whatever. I don’t give a shit what kind of game it is.
Jeff:
Developers…
Casey:
I don’t know what kind of car it is. Put some fucking stickers on it.
Jeff:
What’s the problem?
Casey:
Texture mapping. This is what it’s invented for, no? To put images on to models. Anyway…
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
Yeah, again, don’t get me started.
Jeff:
I’m getting you riled up with these [inaudible 64:45]…
Casey:
Yeah, you’re getting me riled up ‘cos it’s hard to do your job when everyone around you is incompetent. Anyway, so we made this announcement that there was going to be downloadable content. It’s what we call DLC in the industry.
Jeff:
I see. Okay.
Casey:
There’s gonna be downloadable content for Bad Company. And what downloadable content means, right… Downloadable content is that $40 that’s in between 60 and 100.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
You see what I’m saying?
Jeff:
You get it. You get it back directly.
Casey:
So you buy the game for $60, right?
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
And I already told you this game cost $100.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
I told you that at the beginning of the podcast. It cost $100.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
So someone is gonna pay the $40 and I don’t know if you noticed but there’s no Burger King anywhere in Bad Company at all. So it ain’t them.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
They’re not picking up the tab this time.
Jeff:
They must’ve done that while you were…
Casey:
No more free ride, yeah.
Jeff:
They must’ve done that while you were out of the company.
Casey:
Exactly. So all the downloadable content is, is you paying the other $40 it fucking costs…
Jeff:
I see. To make this game?
Casey:
To run the company.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
This bad company. Okay. Players are all upset about this, right. They’re like, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine… But they’re still gonna buy the game, you know, so who cares? I don’t care. It’s fine, right? It’s all good. What I have come up with, thought, I think is much better ‘cos I found, after looking at this…
Jeff:
You have a solution?
Casey:
Yes, ‘cos I wasn’t involved in this project.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
’Cos it didn’t… Yeah. Again, I wasn’t… I probably would’ve got so Burger King in there plus the downloadable content but what can you do? Some people are amateurs. They can only do one thing. So what I’m thinking about this Bad Company thing, though, right…
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
What happens in this game is you’re playing the game. You’re playing first person shooter. You want to use let’s say the rocket launcher.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
But we didn’t ship you the rocket launcher.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
That’s in the $40, not in the $60.
Jeff:
Oh, I see that’s part of the add-on.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
That’s the TLC.
Casey:
So what you have to do is you have to send $2 to Electronic Arts and we send you the rocket launcher.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
It’s a fucking rocket launcher. It costs like $300,000 in real life and we’re charging you $2 and you’re complaining…
Jeff:
It’s a good deal.
Casey:
It’s a very good deal. Anyway…
Jeff:
And you get to beat everybody that doesn’t have the $2.
Casey:
Perhaps…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So, the problem that I see with this is you’re done playing for the night. You turn off the console.
Jeff:
Sure.
Casey:
You come back the next day… Or your PC, I should say.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
You come back the next day. You play Battlefield Bad Company…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
And there in your inventory is the rocket launcher.
Jeff:
It’s the rocket launcher from yesterday.
Casey:
What’s the deal with that?
Jeff:
I see. I think I see where you’re going here.
Casey:
Okay.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
There is absolutely no recurring cost for the rocket launcher.
Jeff:
I see. You’re thinking of some RLC, like rental…
Casey:
Okay. This is a problem to me. Now, I understand why that happened. I’m not calling the person out as an amateur because of this because it’s… Okay, you bought a rocket launcher. Even in real life, when you buy a rocket launcher, it’s pretty much yours to keep.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
Right? As long as no one takes it from you, you have that rocket launcher.
Jeff:
Unless you lease.
Casey:
Right.
Jeff:
But yeah.
Casey:
Yeah. Okay. Maybe we can sell [inaudible 67:46] and I’m looking into this…
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Right? But whatever, fine…
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
What I’m thinking is we have another property.
Jeff:
Okay, new game.
Casey:
No, no, no. We have an existing property.
Jeff:
Oh, I see.
Casey:
Where people build new things every time they play.
Jeff:
Oh, I see. I think [ that’s… ]
Casey:
Command & Conquer…
Jeff:
I see. I see.
Casey:
Okay, Command & Conquer 4.
Jeff:
Right.
Casey:
So I’m taking 2nd Life. I’m taking the concept that there is money required to build things and I’m merging this with Command & Conquer. So now what happens is you create an account with us, say a modest start out is $20.
Jeff:
Okay.
Casey:
Okay. Every time you click on one of those build icons, we deduct let’s say 5 cents for a tank.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
Okay. Let’s say 25 cents for one of the better units that they sell, right?
Jeff:
Micro transactions. Right…
Casey:
Exactly, micro transactions. When that count is done, you lose the game… I mean, that’s it.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
You have to put in more funds to keep building.
Jeff:
Right. Well, and sometimes…
Casey:
Problem fucking solved, right?
Jeff:
Right. Yeah.
Casey:
Problem fucking solved.
Jeff:
You’re making huge amount of money.
Casey:
Oh, perfect.
Jeff:
Yeah, Command & Conquer Bad Company.
Casey:
Exactly. Command & Conquer 4: Bad Company.
Jeff:
I see. And so… That’s also… I mean, it’s even more realistic because when someone else that you’re playing destroys your units, in real life, you’d have to buy a new thing…
Casey:
You’d have to buy more. Right. I’m not breaking the fiction in any way. All I’m doing is taking the endgame currency…
Jeff:
I’m making it, in fact, more realistic…
Casey:
More realistic…
Jeff:
What do they… Yeah.
Casey:
Just like Majestic, the game that plays you. Right? That is exactly what’s happening here. The company that plays you, the bad company that plays you.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
That sounds pretty awesome. My Drobo played me.
Casey:
Now, for some reason… That project’s gonna happen. I’m gonna fight for that one.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
For some reason, my Need for Speed 3 idea where you have to actually pay to fill up your car with gas which, by the way, the price is going up, don’t know if you noticed…
Jeff:
Yeah. Which is great for you…
Casey:
So that is good.
Jeff:
Yeah.
Casey:
Yeah. Getting some push back on that but I’m gonna see what I can do.
Jeff:
Yeah. Well, keep fighting the good fight.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
You know…
Casey:
I’m fighting it.
Jeff:
These things don’t right themselves.
Casey:
No, they don’t right themselves.
Jeff:
They don’t develop themselves.
Casey:
They do not develop themselves.
Jeff:
They don’t market themselves.
Casey:
No.
Jeff:
And they do not sell themselves.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
So just…
Casey:
And I do.
Jeff:
I see.
Casey:
So…
Jeff:
Alright.
Casey:
I’m seeing an imaginary promotion in my future for this one.
Jeff:
Yeah, I’m seeing… This has been a fruitful week for you.
Casey:
Oh, it sure has.
Jeff:
Yeah. You’ve been able…
Casey:
The wheels are always turning over here.
Jeff:
Yep. No, that’s terrific.
Casey:
It’s in the game. Yeah.
Jeff:
That’s terrific. I like it. I can’t wait to see that one. I’m sure you can’t wait to see my credit card.
Casey:
Yeah.
Jeff:
No, that’s gonna be sweet action. Oh, my goodness. Alright, well, that’s a pretty good game. That’s gonna work.
Casey:
Thank you.
Jeff:
Yeah. Alright, so should we wrap up? Do we have…
Casey:
I think we’re wrapping it up.
Jeff:
Alright. Well, you can always email us at Podcast@MollyRocket.com.
Casey:
That’s right.
Jeff:
And let us know. Give us some ideas, if you want.
Casey:
Podcast@MollyRocket.com.
Jeff:
Yeah. If you want to let us know some new EA properties. Let us know all the time.
Casey:
I take care of the EA properties, thank you.
Jeff:
Yeah, that’s true. You’re fine.
Casey:
Yeah. If you’ve had a wonderful experience with an EA product that you’d like to tell me about…
Jeff:
Totally.
Casey:
To congratulate me…
Jeff:
Give us an email.
Casey:
Absolutely send it to Podcast@MollyRocket.com.
Jeff:
Alright. Thanks, everybody. We will see everyone next week.
Casey:
Take it easy.
Jeff:
Alright, thanks.
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casey muratori
the jeff and casey show - season 1 - episode 6
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